"Are you ready?" Alex asked Grace as they got out of the car. It wasn't that he was totally ok with this plan, he had doubts, it was not the most brilliant plan, it was inherently flawed from the beginning. But he was a desperate man running out of time. And it seemed his only chance.
Grace was not sure she was ready. This was not one of her greater ideas, it was bound to backfire in the end. She was worried for Stevie also, but that alone would not have been enough to make her go through with it. It was the desperation in Alex that she could not ignore. That lost look in his eyes. She wondered if anyone would ever love her so much to go to such lenghts to find her. She didn't know what was driving Alex to such extremes, but she knew she could not ignore it.
"As ready as I'll ever be." Grace answered as she took a deep breath. Alex smiled at her then. If this worked out…."When" he reminded himself, When it all worked out he would have Grace to thank for her wacky idea, and for standing behind him at a time no one else would. "Go." She told him, "We shouldn't be seen together."
She was right, he should keep out of sight. "You sure you know what you're doing?" He asked.
"Of course." She answered, because he needed to hear it.
~~
Stevie had heard no sound sweeter than her baby's heartbeat. It amazed her to think there was a tiny person living inside of her. A tiny person who was a part of her and a part of Alex. She remembered the first time she had heard Roses heartbeat, Michelle had been with her then also. And now Rose was all grown up into a whole perfect person. She hadn't realised how much she had come to love this new baby until she thought she would lose it. She hadn't realised that her whole life and future were for that baby, and without it she seemed to have nothing left to go on for. Rose was grown up and didn't need her, Alex didn't want her, and she couldn't live at Michelle and Tom's house forever.
"Does he know?" Michelle asked her gently as she sat by the bedside at the hospital.
"No one does." Stevie answered. "I didn't tell anyone, I wanted to tell him first, when he came home…" Her voice trailed off and Michelle left the conversation there for the moment. The Dr had told her that Stevie's blood pressure was very high and that she should not get upset.
Stevie was glad her sister was there, telling her everything would be fine. Without her Stevie would have gone crazy. The doctors had said the baby seemed to be fine, and that they would monitor her closely overnight. Michelle had stayed with her all night, which Stevie neither asked her for or thanked her for. But she hoped Michelle knew how much it meant not to be alone.
Her thought drifted to Alex often. He should be here, with her, holding her hand, not her sister. He should be here to hear his baby's heart beat for the first time. But it wasn't something he wanted, marriage, a family, not with her.
"I know what you think." Stevie said finally to her sister. She should have thanked her for staying with her, but she had to take the tension out on someone, and Michelle was an easy and proximal target.
"Do you?" Michelle answered her.
"You think that once again I've screwed everything up. I had this perfect marriage to a perfect guy and I cant even make that last six months. You think I haven't changed and that I never will."
"I don't think that." Michelle answered calmly.
"I don't even have a job, how can I support a baby?" Stevie asked
"I'm sure Alex can afford child support." Michelle answered
Something about that statement made Stevie's blood run cold. It would mean Alex would know about the baby, she would have to tell him, she would have to see him, it was more than she could face right now. It's not that she didn't want him ever to know, she just didn't want to think about it now. She pictured him with Charlotte, he loved kids, maybe he'd love this kid too, maybe he'd want to take it and raise it and leave her out in the cold. Maybe he thought she would be a hopeless mother, maybe he'd be angry that she ran away like this and try to get back at her. Maybe if she hadn't run away then the baby would be fine and she wouldn't be in the hospital, maybe Alex would hate her for that. These thoughts made no sense, but her insecurities and fears ran deep and once she had tapped into them it was not easy to turn herself around.
"You're not 15 anymore Stevie, You were just a baby yourself then." Michelle told her. "You'll be fine, the baby will be fine, you'll see."
Moments like these made Stevie remember why she loved her sister. It was Michelle and no one else in her family that stood by her when she was pregnant with Rose, she would not have got through it on her own. It was only when Rose got sick and went to live with Michelle that the two sisters drifted apart. It wasn't Michelle's fault only, Stevie had distanced herself, she had to in order to keep on living. And as Rose got older and closer to the truth they were both so scared of losing her that they took it out on one another. But she could not fault a single thing her sister had done, she had stood by her and by Rose, and all the past bitterness seemed to fade away.
"Do you want me to call him?" Michelle asked after a moment of silence.
Stevie thought that over. Of course she did, she wanted him here, that was how it was supposed to be, but she couldn't shake the feeling that calling him was the wrong thing to do. She didn't want to deal with it all, with him, to explain everything. He was probably in Argentina anyway, she didn't want to get her hopes up.
"No." Stevie answered, and Michelle did not ask again
