Jedi Chaos VII: The Final Confrontation
Okay, people, this is the VERY last chapter... Maybe (MAYBE) I'll write a sequel.
I know Qui Gon is dead, but he's alive right now in my story because I need him.
By the way, Does anyone know if Charmisjess ever wrote the story, "Walk On"? I saw the trailer at the end of "Kite" and I really want to read it. If she did write it, could someone email me a link? Thanks.
Disclaimer: I don't own Star Wars and its characters. I also don't own Pizza Hut.
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From the previous chapter…
Obi Wan gulped; this could be bad.
At that very moment, Adi walked in, saying, "Annnniiiiiiieeeeeeeeeeee? Annniieeee??"
Anakin squeaked in terror, and hid behind Obi Wan; rather unsuccessfully, considering that Adi had already spotted him.
Adi wrinkled her nose. "You two smell like… barf." She looked them up and down. Anakin was the one most covered in the smelly goop; Obi Wan looked somewhat scared.
"Er… hello, Adi." Obi Wan said, nervously. "How are you today?"
Adi gave him a strange look. Anakin, who had decided, at that moment, to get revenge on Obi Wan for not helping him when he was drowning in fans, pointed at the far wall. Adi read the message. She stared at Obi Wan. She reread the message again. She looked back at Obi Wan.
Adi got a strange look in her eyes. Obi Wan backed away. "Oh no… oh no…"
Adi leapt at him; Obi Wan turned to run. Too late, he thought dimly, as Adi tackled him to the floor. "Really, Obi? I never kneeeeewwww!!"
"It's not true!" Obi Wan gasped, desperately scrabbling to get away. He shot Anakin a death glare; Anakin smiled sweetly in return. Obi Wan made the fist sign. Anakin only pointed at Adi and said, "I don't think you'll have a chance!" and walked out the door.
Adi held him pinned to the ground, and whispered into his ear, "We'll be together always!"
"Nooo!!" Obi Wan screamed, kicking away with his feet. In his frantic attempts to get away, he accidentally (or was it on purpose?) kicked Adi in the stomach. She reeled back, gasping in pain. She got this furious look on her face that reminded him of a mad bull. Obi Wan backed up some more. "This is baaaaaaaaaad!!" he yelped, as Adi yanked his ankle so he was upside down.
He squirmed desperately to free himself, but Adi's grip on him was strong. She slapped him in the face. "Ouch!" he screeched. "Lemme go!!"
And so, she dropped him onto the ground, quite unceremoniously, and walked away, cool as ice.
Obi Wan got up, burning red in the face. He turned to a group of Padawans, who were giggling childishly. "What?" he snapped. They only giggled some more, and slipped away.
Turning around, Obi Wan began to organize his thoughts. Number 1: Clean up room. Stop lineup. Number 2: Catch the troll, and beat the life out of him. Number 3: Try to regain my dignity.
Obi Wan started on Number 1. Shouting at the top of his lungs, he yelled, "Okay! Everyone out! Nothing to see here!" As the crowd hustled away, he heard someone say, "Told you he'd mad" to another. Ignoring this, he began to clean up the room. He found, to his dismay, that the pictures were drawn in permanent marker, and it was practically impossible to get it off.
Obi Wan sighed. Maybe I should do Number 2 first, he decided. He glanced around. Yoda was nowhere to be seen. Hmmm…
He spotted a flash of green at the door. He dove, and tackled… Kit Fisto?! Kit Fisto wasn't Yoda!
Obi Wan let go of the Nautolan quickly. Kit got up, and shot him a look. Then, he quickly hurried away, running as if twelve Hutts were after him.
Obi Wan dashed into the hallway. Yoda couldn't be far away; he'd been at the door only moment earlier!
--
Yoda scuttled down the stairs. He knew Obi Wan would be after him soon, and he knew that if he didn't get a head start now, he was a goner.
As soon as he hopped off the last step, Yoda used the Force to propel himself into his bathroom. There, he would wait, until the final confrontation.
--
Obi Wan's brain paced itself. Where would Yoda hide?
Aha! His rooms. Obi Wan ran to Yoda's quarters, leaping down the stairs. He flung the door open… and saw… nothing.
Nothing! Except for…
Obi Wan noticed a little green face poke out a look at him from behind the bathroom door. It stuck its tongue out, and darted back through the door.
Obi Wan slammed into the door, just a moment too late. A note slipped out.
--
Dear Obi Wan the Stupid,
Catch me, you cannot. Strong I am. Weak, you are.
From,
The Great Yoda
--
Dear Yoda-the-oh-so-Pathetic,
If you were actually so great, you wouldn't be hiding in the bathroom, no?
From,
Obi Wan the Wonderfully Awesome
--
Dear Obi Wan-the-Arrogant,
Arrogance, the downfall of the Jedi, will be. Terribly self-conceited, you are.
From,
Yoda-the-Fantastic
--
Dear Yodie,
If I'm arrogant, what does that make you?
From,
Obi Wan-who-talks-back
--
Dear Sulky-Wan-the-Disobedient,
Lived longer than you, I have. 800+years, in fact. License and right to be smug, I have.
From,
Yoda the Superior
--
Dear Yoda-the-Old,
If you really ARE that old, shouldn't you be an elder now?
From,
Obi-Who-Is-Younger-Than-Yoda
--
Dear Obi-The-Toddler,
Weird you are. Better things to do, I have.
From,
Yoda-The-High-And-Mighty
--
Dear Yoda-The-Bizarre,
Why aren't you doing them, then?
From,
Obi Wan-Who-Thinks-Yoda-Should-Be-Voted-Out-Of-Council
--
Dear Obi-The-Jealous,
Trapped in bathroom, I am. Apparent, is it not?
From,
Yoda-Who-Thinks-Obi Wan-Is-Dim
--
Dear Yoda-The-Brainless,
Duh, you're trapped in the bathroom. I'm asking why you don't come out and be a man!
From,
Obi Wan-Who-Is-Sensible
--
Dear Obi Wan-The-Sarcastic,
Knew that, I did. Man, I am not.
From,
Yoda-The Awesome
--
Dear Yoda-Who-Doesn't-Make-Sense,
If you're not a man, what are you? A woman?
From,
Obi Wan-The-Greater
--
Dear Obi Wan-The-Dense,
Male, I am. Human, I am not. No, Duh.
From,
Yoda-the-High-Class
--
Dear Yaya,
Troll-face.
From,
Obi Wan
--
Dear Sissy-Wan, Queen of Idiots,
Dork, you are.
From,
Yoda, High Council member, and Supreme Grand Master of The Jedi Order/Council
--
Dear Master Yoda,
What are you Grandmaster for, if you can't face me, Queen of the Weaklings?
From,
Obi Wan the puny
--
Dear Obi Wan,
True it is, that puny, you are. Alright, come out, I will.
From,
GRANDmaster Yoda
--
With a devious look, Obi Wan stepped back from the door, and waited.
A moment later, Yoda's head popped out. Obi Wan pounced.
--
Dear Obi Wan,
Why did you have to beat Yoda up so badly?
From,
Your Master,
Qui Gon Jinn
--
Dear Master,
He asked for it. Don't believe me? Look in my room.
From,
Obi Wan the avenged
--
Dear Obi,
I mean, I don't blame you, but why'd you have to cut him up limb by limb, and drop him into Mace's rooms all bloody and everything? All that racket (from both Yoda and Mace) is bad for my sensitive ears, you know.
From,
Qui Gon
--
Dear Master,
He messed up my room, Master. My area of peace and comfort. My haven of great sanctuary. My-
--
Dear Obi the Descriptive,
Alright! I get the idea! And yes, he DID do that to me once (Yaddle had a crush on me, who can blame her) and NO, I didn't cut him up. I dropped him off the Empire State Building.
From,
Qui Gon Who Understands
--
Dear Master-Who's-Been-Through-It-Too,
What's the Empire State Building?
From,
Obi Wan-The Confused
--
Dear Obi Wan-the-Dense,
It's on Earth. It's very tall. Oh, and Earth is the blue-and-green planet. The one that has good hotdogs.
From,
Qui Gon-The-Wise
--
Dear Qui Gon,
Yeah, I know that place! They have good pizza too! Wanna meet me at Pizza Hut in an hour or so?
From,
Obi Wan-the-Hungry
--
Dear Obi Wan-,
Ok. Just don't pig yourself out, and could you actually use your manners? Now, can we stop writing notes to each other?
From,
Qui Gon
--
Dear Quiggy,
Yes.
From,
Obi Wan-The-Starved
--
Well, that was the last chapter. Now, on with the trailer!
Who will win…
Two lightsabers clash,
Someone screams,
In a battle of wills,
A dice rolls,
Something falls to the floor,
Testing the even the most serene,
Shaak Ti clings to thin air, and drops into a bottomless pit,
Aayla Secura screams hysterically,
It an endless competition,
Anakin swipes his lightsabre;
Obi Wan jumps and parries.
(Blacks out)
Jedi Games…
Coming to June, 2008!
