The Intimacy Institution
Before you say anything... Yes, I know I'm slow. However comma, I managed to do 200 more words, so yay. So sorry for not updating for long, I hope some have still stuck around..! Enjoy.
Chapter 7
Aoba sat on the side of his bed and looked down at his feet. He'd woken up an hour before his alarm went off, but he couldn't get further than the edge of the bed. His body felt so heavy, so sluggish. His mind was a blur, part of the reason he didn't feel like he could move from the bed. He couldn't think a single thought, well one: I am the worst.
He got his brain up and working, and so he rose from the bed. He wobbled slightly on his feet, a bit dizzy from standing too fast, but he managed. Uhm… shower. He turned to the door to the bathroom, and swung the door open while rubbing his eyes.
He threw his underwear in a basket, promising himself that he'd scrub it some before taking it down to the washing room. He turned on the water in the shower stall, and didn't have to wait for long before a nice soft stream of temperate water fell from the giant shower head. He stretched his tired body a bit before entering. He let the water rain over him for a long time before actually beginning to wash himself. He had too many things to consider and think about:
He'd… pleasured himself yesterday night. That fact alone wasn't bad, since this place probably was here for the same, but the image that'd caused him to lose control was the thing that bothered him: Ren. Ren, a friend, a male friend, had sent him over the edge, had given him such a wrong feeling inside that felt so good. Why was he even thinking these things? Ren was a dear friend, not to mention a guy like himself, so it was ridiculous to even consider.
But… since he'd felt so good in the night with the visual of Ren, then would be become all flustered and awkward around the real Ren when he saw him today? He didn't want that, it would completely blow off their friendship, and Ren was nice to be around. As an experiment he closed his eyes under the rain of hot water, and imagined Ren in front of him…
Nothing. Nothing at all. His heart didn't start racing like it'd done yesterday, he didn't blush, and he definitely didn't feel any arousal. He exhaled dramatically. So it was just a one-time thing, huh? He was so relieved. Now he didn't have to face Ren fearing he might become hard in the middle of breakfast. With this eased thought he grabbed some soap and began washing himself, only focusing on how nice the shampoo smelt.
After drying off and getting dressed he sat back on his bed and checked his coil: there was still 30 minutes before he had to go to breakfast. He sighed and flopped backwards into his bed and closed his eyes. He was tired, because he'd gone to bed too late last night and had woken up too early. If I hadn't… then I would have had more sleep.
Suddenly his coil rang, and Aoba lifted his head from the soft sheets. He looked at his coil and it was a call from Ren. He smiled, but then stopped himself. If he calls at this hour, something is probably wrong. He he held his breath as he pressed the answer button.
"Aoba? Oh thank god," Ren's face popped up on the hologram screen, and even though the background was dark, Aoba could see Ren's morning hair and tired eyes clearly.
"What's wrong? Is everything okay?" Aoba asked, wondering what possibly could be wrong for Ren to call him all of a sudden.
"Sorry I'm calling at this time, we're not supposed to meet until later, but I didn't know who else to call…"It's so Ren to start apologizing… Aoba thought to himself, but thought it might be best to calm his friend first.
"Hey Ren, it's alright, just tell me what's wrong, "
"Right… It's Sly, he called me and said he was ill, but when I went to check on him he was in extreme pain, and I don't know what to do…" In the background you could hear Sly's muffled cries of pain, because he was trying to keep his voice down.
"I'm coming right away, Ren, just hang on," Aoba ended the call and ran towards his bag, where his own headache medicine was stored. His grandmother, Tae, had given him quite a few for his stay, in case he should get his headaches again, but so far he hadn't felt anything. Now, Sly needed them more than he did. He put them into his pocket and sprinted out of the door, not bothering if it shut close or not.
The asexual route was in the other end of the institution, but if he ran he could make it in a few minutes. Running in the halls was probably forbidden, but right now it was more important that Sly got help. Besides, no one was in the halls at this time anyways, so it couldn't harm anybody.
He ran past the grand entry hall, where the big crater was being covered by a big plastic cover. In the corner of his eye he could see man in full body suits pulling plastic over the hole to hide it. I guess it's not so appealing having a huge crater in the floor, huh. He'd unconsciously stopped in his tracks, because he thought he'd seen… Toue? Yeah, it was him. He looked stressed and angry, a little sleep deprived too. Like the day before, really. He wondered if he should say something, but he felt the glass of pills in his pocket, and ran towards Sly's room instead.
He reached it faster than he'd thought, and tried to catch his breath while waiting for Ren to come and open the door.
The doorknob turned. "Aoba, thank goodness!" Ren's face had a very serious look, and his voice was full of worry. Aoba felt so sorry for him. Ren pulled him inside, and not far into the room could you hear Sly's groans of pain while he lied in a fetal position on the bed.
"Sly? It's me, Aoba," he said, approaching the bed cautiously while Ren closed the door behind them. "I came as fast as I could. I brought medicine too," He pulled the container out of his pocket and shook it so you could hear the pills rattle.
Sly looked up and removed his hands from his head. When he saw the medicine relief washed over his face, and he sat up. Ren went to get water, and Aoba opened the lid of the glass and handed him a couple of pills. He swallowed them in one go, and then calmed down, leaning backwards into the bed.
"Thanks," he mumbled, suddenly very tired. He'd probably been up all night with this, and now he just wanted to rest while the pills did their job. Aoba smiled and rubbed his friend's arm, then turned around to Ren. He looked like he'd just had a great weight lifted off his shoulders.
"Yeah, thanks," Ren said thankfully. He was completely relaxed now, Aoba noticed.
"Will he be okay?" Aoba asked. He obviously wasn't going out for the next time being.
"Yes, it just happens sometimes, although he hasn't had it in a long time. He just has to recover, and he might join us for dinner," Ren put his usual smile back on with a tint of worry in his eyes, and that's when Aoba noticed something else about Ren: he always kept eye-contact when he talked to him.
"That's good then. I think it's about time to go to the cafeteria, are you coming too?" Aoba asked, partly to change the subject, but also to make Ren think of something else. This must be hard on him… Ren nodded and looked thankful to be able to get a break from the morning's drama. They went out of the door together after making sure that Sly would be alright on his own.
"Sly what?" Koujaku burst out at the morning table. The whole gang was together again, but it was of course quickly noticed that Sly wasn't present. Ren and Aoba, who'd been a little late, had had to explain why their 5th friend was missing.
"He has a horrible headache and was up all night, so he's gonna call in sick for the day," Ren explained, and Clear hunched his shoulders in worry.
"Is he going to be alright?" he asked anxiously. Aoba nodded quickly. "Of course he is. He's just a bit ill right now. He'll be okay in no time, and he might join us tonight for dinner," Aoba assured, and Clear straightened himself up and sighed. "I'm glad!"
Even without Sly it was no problem to get into their now usual rhythm; eating together, and then splitting up for their individual classes. The small group of friends found that sticking together was much nicer than being alone and on their own in a huge place like the Intimacy Institution.
As Aoba and Red had predicted, Sly returned from his room by dinnertime, and they all ate together like normally. "Skipped classes, huh? You troublemaker!" they teased, and Sly teased back with his usual sneaky comments. Aoba's day had consisted of another class with Wilson, where they'd talked about how to dress for a successful date, and they'd been paired up to find nice outfits on the internet. Then after lunch they'd met a new teacher, Mark, in a class for body language. He'd referred a lot to Clear, who never took off his gas mask, and Clear was willing to tell all he knew about communication without facial expressions. He'd impressed even Aoba with what he knew. He was honestly just glad that he didn't get Laura that day…
Days went by, weeks, and life went on as usual; Aoba followed his classes closely, especially after he met his new favorite teacher, Naomi, who taught the intimacy class. She didn't make him kiss other people out of the blue, thank god, but helped him relax in new situations, such as when they had to practice hugging with both genders. He'd met a few other teachers, such as Fukawa of their "love through history" classes, and Mei of the sexual education class. Most made him feel very welcome and secure.
After the classes he would meet up with the others; Koujaku, Clear, Sly, and Ren. They all hung out in the entertainment room or in Koujaku's room after the classes, and became closer and closer with each passing day. When he first came he'd thought he might be very embarrassed and refuse anything, but he'd opened up more. Well, until…
"Okay class, today we're trying to go a step further," Naomi announced at the afternoon class, and everyone looked her way, stopping what they were doing. "I know it might be a little transgressive, but it's an important part of the education,"
"What is it, sensei?" the students asked, and she reached into her drawer and pulled out chalk. She went to the blackboard to write the next activity on it, and the class reacted loudly. Some gasped, some laughed and whistled. Aoba lost his breath.
"Kiss another person from the class," the blackboard read. Aoba couldn't concentrate anymore. He could refuse, right? He didn't want to have to kiss another person from class, especially not a man! And there was also the possibility that they could choose partners themselves, and…
"You can choose your own partner, this is simply for practice," Naomi affirmed. Crap. What should he do? Should he go over and tell her that he couldn't do this? That he'd already kissed more than enough men since he got here in the first place… Chances were that he might be paired up with a girl, but he still didn't know them well enough to want to kiss them..!
He stopped his thinking when he noticed something. It felt like something was drilling its way through his neck, and he thought he knew what it was. He turned around and saw Ryuuhou looking at him, licking his lips. There's no way I'll pair up with that guy, he thought to himself. Anyone but him. Then he had an idea.
"Hey Clear?" Aoba called to his friend, who immediately hopped over to him while humming.
"Yes, Aoba-san?" Aoba thought for a second. What was he supposed to say? 'Hey, wanna kiss me because I don't want to kiss someone I don't know'? No, that would be very mean. It would be more than that; it would be taking advantage of him in a way. He wouldn't want to be that kind of friend. And there was another thing…
"Say, Clear? How do you plan to kiss someone with your mask on?" Clear signaled for Aoba to come closer, and Aoba leaned his face towards Clear's.
"You know that I don't like to take off my mask, right, Aoba-san?"
"Yes?"
"Right. I have an agreement with Naomi-sensei that I don't have to take it off," Aoba thought that he heard a bit of sadness in his voice, but that thought was quickly abandoned when Clear lit up again. "So it's not a problem for me!" Aoba smiled and nodded, and figured he'd have to suck it up and find someone else.
He looked around to try and find someone who didn't already have a partner, but then he noticed; they all stood in pairs. All girls were taken and stood next to a guy or another girl, and the guys did the same thing. Even Ryuuhou had found a girl that he held his arm around, and made a fake pouting face towards Aoba. So now he and Clear were the only ones without partners.
"Good, now everyone's in pairs! Now you do like we talked about the other days; gaze into their eyes, lean in, and kiss," Naomi instructed the others, and Aoba was very confused. He couldn't do that, of many reasons. First of all he couldn't even see Clear's eyes, and kissing was absolutely impossible. Maybe they'd have to wait for specific instructions.
Around them people began to follow their teachers instructions, and before they knew it everyone was kissing. Aoba couldn't help but feel slightly uncomfortable at the sight, but he didn't say anything. He noticed Clear was looking at him, even through his mask.
"I'm sorry that I can't do that with you, Aoba-san," he said, but Aoba shook his head. "It's fine, Clear, it really is. To be honest, I was still a bit uncomfortable doing it," he admitted, and Clear nodded understandingly. At least both of them could feel awkward together.
The class ended with a description of the feeling, and how no kisses felt weird at all. How can they even say that..? Aoba thought, mostly because he was awkward himself. He'd got to get out of that shell, he knew that, or else he'd have an even worse time.
He and Clear met up as usual in front of the class and walked together to the cafeteria. They sat by their usual table with their food, today they served tomato omelets with a mushroom sauce, and waited for the others to drop in. First Koujaku came, then Sly, who sat down next to him. It was nice to see that they could even be in room together now without fighting, and they even joked to each other and talked like best buddies. This was nice. But Ren wasn't here yet.
"Where's Ren-san?" asked Clear, and Sly shrugged. "I think he went to talk to the headmaster or something," he said while stuffing his mouth with sweet potatoes. They decided to wait a bit more before calling him. Then they saw him walk over with his tray of food and a confused face.
"Hey Ren, where were you?" Koujaku asked, and made room for Ren to sit by him.
"Toue had asked me to come to his office. He asked if I knew anything about the crater in the floor, but I said that I don't know about it," he said, and then continued. "When he'd asked that, he wanted to know if I knew about something unusual about Aoba," Aoba froze. It couldn't mean that Toue saw him that time… could it? Why would he do that..?
"What did you answer?" asked Sly, who'd emptied his mouth to speak for once. "I said that I didn't, because… well, you're nicer than most guys, and you always light up when you smile and talk, and you always make us feel happy when we talk, and…" Ren stopped himself. Everyone looked at him, except for Aoba, who blushed a deep red, and looked away. Had he said something wrong? "So I said I hadn't noticed anything too unusual," He finished and stuck a spoonful of his food into his mouth in an attempt to soothe the awkward atmosphere. Koujaku was the first to speak afterwards.
"Why would he ask something like that about someone who goes here? Does he think that Aoba had something to do with it? When it was his own plan? Even though I still think it's fishy…" Aoba thanked Koujaku internally to fill out the silence, but he was right; why would he ask that? Aoba had nothing to do about it, and Toue had also said himself that it was a test of the floor. But it wasn't very convincing after all…
"Maybe you should go and see him to talk about it, Aoba-san?" said Clear very seriously, and it almost took Aoba by surprise. But he was right. It was all very fishy, as Koujaku had said… Aoba nodded, and promised he'd look into it, and then he quickly changed the subject to the upcoming winter party.
A few weeks ago, Toue had announced that the institution would have a party before the Christmas break. Actually, he'd introduced it more as a kind of ball, where people would dress fancily, a ballroom would be prepared, and a small orchestra would play classical music. Of course the decorations and food had to be top class; it almost came naturally with this place.
Aoba was kind of excited, although he was worried about a significant detail: he had no one to ask to the ball. Of all the girls he'd met, he'd not met a single one that quite interested him in the way he wanted to. He wanted to be swept off his feet by the right girl, but it hadn't happened. He'd kissed more guys at the Intimacy Institution than talked to girls, now when he thought about it. He had to do something about it… Walk up to some girl, any girl, and ask her if she wanted to do something with him. Maybe hang around in the entertainment rooms together, or go to one of their rooms and fool around… Yes, that was it!
After he'd eaten, he put his tray away, and looked to his friends. They were all parting, probably going to spend their evening alone for once, but Clear was still there. His masked face looked in Aoba's direction, and Aoba felt like he needed to ask something.
"Uhm, Clear?" He started out slowly, but it was hard with the words he wanted to say. "I haven't asked about it, but why do you wear a gasmask?" Clear stopped in his tracks next to Aoba, on their way out of the cafeteria. He became awfully quiet.
"It's alright, you don't have to tell me, I'm just cu…" Clear interrupted his sentence.
"It's because… my grandfather told me to never remove it," he then said. "If I do, I might get into trouble…" He looked down, as if he was ashamed.
"No, it's alright, Clear, I'll respe…"
"No, it's not okay, Aoba-san!" he suddenly burst out, taking Aoba aback. "It's the worst! I'm the worst! I couldn't remove it earlier; I was too embarrassed to do it!" He sounded very bothered by this, and Aoba looked down. He wanted to understand, he really did. But he couldn't.
"Why can't you remove it though? I'm sure your face is nothing to be ashamed of," Aoba suggested, but Clear still shook his head.
"I was told to hide it away. I'm afraid I look like a monster, so I'll scare you away, and you'll hate me…" he said with a sad tone in his voice. Aoba wasn't sure what to say. Of course Clear wouldn't scare him away, they were good friends. And Aoba actually felt like he could be himself with Clear and the others. No, he had to fix this. Aoba grabbed his shoulder and squeezed them comfortingly.
"Of course not, Clear. You're my friend, so I'll never hate you, no matter what you look like," he said. Clear nodded, and looked like he was deep in thought.
"If Aoba-san promises not to hate me… or laugh at me, then… Oh wait, I almost forgot!" Clear's hands reached behind his head, so quickly that Aoba didn't notice it before Clear unfastened his mask, and took it off. He also didn't perceive anything of Clear's face, before it was too close to look, and… he felt a kiss on his lips. He would've jumped away immediately, if it wasn't because of the fact that he promised Clear not to run away. Clear kissed mildly, softly, carefully, as if not wanting to hurt Aoba in the slightest. He pulled away far enough for Aoba to see his face.
"I didn't kiss you in class before, so I owed you one!" Clear rejoiced, his attitude having changed completely. Aoba, still baffled, took a good look at his face: the white hair that he knew falling over his face, almost covering the light pink eyes that stared at him. He had two small moles under the right side of his lips, and they were honestly very charming. So this is Clear… who kissed me.
Aoba took a deep breath, figuring he should assure Clear of himself before being chocked over the sudden kiss he'd just received… again.
"You don't look weird at all, Clear," said Aoba reassuringly, and Clear's face lit up. It was very different to see his actual expressions.
"Thank you so much, Aoba-san," he said, and then smiled. Aoba had to admit that he was very handsome under the mask. Clear nodded, and put the gas mask back on. "I'll be going. But I'll see you tomorrow," he said, and waved as he walked up the stairs in the big hall. Aoba was almost unable to move as he thought about what'd just happened. He didn't have a number of how many people he'd kissed at the institution anymore, he only knew it was becoming a lot. And a lot of them were guys… Maybe he was simply thinking too much over it. They weren't his choices after all, so he couldn't call himself… gay, could he?
He got himself together, and went back to his room up the stairs. Him gay? No way. He'd never ever thought about it before, not even when he was put on the bisexual route. Perhaps that was what triggered it. He had to talk to Toue about this, try to see if he could be moved to the straight route instead. And he also had to talk to him about what he asked Ren… He was getting much deeper into things than he ever thought he would.
Wait.
Someone stood by his door. Two tall men, knocking, looking through the gaps of the door. Aoba hid behind the corner of the hall, trying to hear what they were saying, but they simply said: "No one's there. We'll try again tomorrow." And then they left. Who could that have been..? He didn't even dare to think about it. He snuck around the corner again, going through his door, and locking it immediately. No one had been in the room, and he sighed. When would the worries even stop?
Oh noooooo, Aoba, you're in so much trouble again, whatever will you do? I already have the next chapter in my head though, all I need to do is write it. I think you will love it ^^ Thanks for sticking around, and as always: please review if you liked the chapter, it helps me keep going! The more motivation, the faster I update. Just saying. If you have any questions or suggestions, please tell me, and I'll see if I can do something about it. Bye for now ^^
