Clarke and Lexa had bid their farewell early in the afternoon. Raven had messaged her while she had been with the brunette and had asked if she wanted to come over to watch a movie. Clarke had felt guilty for how she had treated her friends the previous night and had agreed to meet with them.
"So?" Octavia asked as soon as Clarke had stepped through the door. "Where were you this morning?"
"What?" The blonde looked at her puzzled. "What happened to 'hello' as a greeting?"
"Stop deflecting." Octavia grinned. "I dropped by yours to check on you, but you weren't home." She poked her playfully in the shoulder "Or were you avoiding me?"
"Um, I didn't avoid you." Clarke admitted rubbing her shoulder absently. "Did you invite me to interrogate me?"
"No." Octavia answered quickly; the cheeky smile replaced by a soft one. "We're worried is all." Clarke nodded her understanding, and Octavia asked a heartbeat later "So where have you been?"
"Lexa texted last night and asked me to meet up with her. She wanted to explain herself."
Raven ran from the kitchen where she had been busy preparing snacks, when she'd heard Clarke's admission. "And you agreed?"
"Well, I wanted to know what the hell is wrong with me that she couldn't kiss me." Clarke huffed out; annoyed to have to explain the whole ordeal once more.
"She what…?" Raven and Octavia said at the same time.
"Well, ok." Clarke raked her hand through her hair and sat down on the couch before continuing. "As you are aware, Lexa and I had a good time dancing with each other last night at the bar." The two friends nodded. "But before I had a chance to kiss her, she said she 'I can't' and that's when I took off without giving her time to explain."
"Ah, that's why you thought she didn't want you." Octavia decoded the cryptic message from the previous night.
"Wouldn't you?" Clarke leaned back into the couch and put her feet up onto the coffee table accepting the beer offered from Raven.
"So how was the meeting with her this morning then?" Raven steered back to their original topic, sitting down next to the blonde, mirroring her position.
"Good." Clarke offered with a nod. "Yeah, good actually." She smiled happily.
Octavia and Raven shared a look before the latter spoke up again. "And by good you mean you guys talked it out or had sex?"
"Oh my god!" Clarke exclaimed loudly and slapped her friend's arm. "Of course it means we talked. Who do you think I am?"
"Um…" Raven laughed at the glare the blonde sent her. "So?"
"So?" Clarke repeated, addled.
"What was the talk about? How did she explain her reaction?" Raven asked impatiently.
Clarke looked at her before shaking her head slightly. "I don't think Lexa would like me to share. It's rather personal."
Both of her friends looked at her secrecy in surprise, but neither dug any further. "Fair enough, as long as you're ok?"
"I am." Clarke smiled shyly and averted her eyes.
"So, where are you guys standing now?" Raven asked with a naughty grin on her face. "Dating? Friends with benefits? Friends? What do you want it to be?"
"Hey." She pointed to the stack of newspaper, advertisement and letters on Raven's couch table. "Look what was in the post." She fished for the beige coloured envelope with the Grounder Airline logo printed on it and held it out to her friend. "You guys made such a big deal out of it, I'm surprised you haven't open it yet."
"Octavia brought it upstairs. Must have been delivered this morning."
She tore the paper open and carefully extracted the card out of its confines. It was red with lots of different winter and Christmas related symbols such as snowmen and flakes, candles and socks, a Santa hat and a church window.
"Well, that's modern." Clarke pointed out.
"Yeah, what happened to baby Jesus in his crib?" Octavia laughed.
"Shut up and read morons."
At the close of this challenging and turbulent year I gratefully pause to wish you a warm and happy Christmas. My sincere gratefulness goes to all of you for your goodwill and loyalty throughout this confusing time.
Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year. See you all in the New Year.
L. Woods
"Wow, that's kind." Octavia mumbled.
"Well the email already proved their benevolence." Clarke pointed out.
"It's nice to hear, but -" Raven slapped the card back on the table and pointed at Clarke. "Don't think for a minute I hadn't sniffed out your change of topic. Come on Griffin. You and Lexa?"
Clarke smiled bashfully, but shook her head pulling her mouth in a thin line, before saying. "No, for now I'll be keeping this to myself."
The trio bickered for a few more minutes, but Clarke wouldn't tell them anything. Although Lexa had never said to remain silent about it, the blonde felt it was a sensitive subject and she didn't want to damage Lexa's trust.
They eventually relaxed on the couch with their snacks and enjoyed the evening together.
The days until Christmas just vanished in a blur for Lexa. She had been busy with profit calculations and salary amendments as well as board meetings and future advertisement campaigns. She had not been able to fly anywhere and therefore had not seen Clarke at all. It had only been four days, but Lexa missed her. The blonde had messaged her and had asked if she was ok, because she hadn't been scheduled for any flights. Lexa had smiled at the concern and had called her instead of writing back. They had talked for a little while, mainly Clarke complaining about rude passengers and Lexa letting her rant, but eventually the flight attendant had had to go. Lexa couldn't wait to see her.
Christmas day finally came around and she got up way too early for her own liking, but the only air traffic control slot she had been able to secure for her flight was at six in the morning. She went through her routine, donned her uniform and made her way over to the airport. She'd only organised two flights for Grounder Airline today; one to Honolulu, for people who liked it warm and one to New York for the opposite reason. The Honolulu-Crew had been luckier; the flight had been scheduled at ten in the morning. Lexa envied them for the longer rest, but overall she had always liked the winter more for Christmas, and growing up in Boston had brought a lot of snowy holidays. She was looking forward to being in the cold again.
She walked down the gangway to their airplane and spotted her favourite person crouching in front of a row of trolleys checking the contents.
"Hi Clarke." Lexa slowly walked towards her with a bright smile. "Merry Christmas."
"Lexa. Hi. Merry Christmas to you too." Clarke smiled but turned her attention back to the task at hand. "I'm sorry, I just have to finish these before the food delivery guy runs off again. It's so hectic this morning. You wouldn't believe." She laughed.
"It's ok. I'm sorry for this."
"Not your fault, and you have to work as well."
"Well. I didn't know better…" If Clarke hadn't been so distracted she might have caught on to Lexa who looked truly guilty for having planned the flight. "But anyway." The pilot quickly raised her voice again. "New York will be beautiful."
"Yeah?" Clarke answered, standing up and fixing a strand of hair behind her ear. "Have you been?"
"Not at Christmas, but in winter." Lexa's eyes lit up at seeing Clarke's smile. "It can be magical." She added with a bright smile of her own.
"Ok. I am definitely looking forward to it now."
"I'm glad."
They stared at each other for another moment, before Lexa cleared her throat. "I've got to start the procedure, but I'd love a coffee with you if you have time before take-off?"
"I probably won't have time, but I'll bring you and Anya one in a little bit." She answered and started walking backwards down the middle of the plane, eyes trained on the pilot a smile playing on her lips. Lexa was eagerly watching her every move when Anya walked into the plane.
"Your gay is showing." She whispered, pressing herself past Lexa into the cockpit and effectively breaking the eye contact between the two.
"Happy whatever to you too." Lexa said and with a last glance and a smile at Clarke, she turned and closed the door.
Anya grinned at her. "You've been MIA since you called after you guys had your talk."
"Been occupied with company stuff."
"Company stuff?" Anya wriggled her eyebrows suggestively.
"Yes." Lexa laughed.
"Ah, so no news on the Clarke front?"
"She messaged when she saw I hadn't been scheduled for flights. We talked a little. It was nice."
"So without any doubt she understands you're momentarily too occupied for pursuing a relationship, but makes it clear she waits for you?" Anya asked with a smile. "Seems like she thinks you're worth it."
"She never said anything like that." Lexa answered.
"She didn't have to. You can see it in her eyes."
The brunette didn't reply, sitting perfectly still lost in her own world.
"Just do me one favour?" Anya pulled her back to reality. "Don't make me regret helping you get back into her good graces. She's too precious to be played."
"I won't hurt her again, I promised you already." Lexa huffed out, but a sombre expression replaced her annoyance almost immediately.
"Good." Anya nodded. "Oh! Raven asked me what's going on between the two of you. My sweet girlfriend was outraged to be left in the dark because apparently Clarke wouldn't tell them anything."
"She didn't?"
"Not a word. Raven said, Clarke had said it was personal and she wanted to keep it to herself."
"Oh." Lexa looked at her and whispered more to herself than for Anya to hear. "She's too good to be true."
"She's good for you." Anya said before a knock at the door announced their coffees.
The flight itself was bumpy due to the winter conditions and both pilots were only focused on doing the job. Two hours into the flight Anya had addressed the cabin and asked for everyone to remain seated as they were expecting turbulence at any time. The cockpit remained silent for the rest of the flight leaving the entertainment to the cabin crew.
Once Lexa had landed the plane safely, they breathed out in relief.
"What a flight. I'm knackered." Anya said but took over from Lexa to park the plane.
"Tell me about it. Never been that hard."
"Well, don't fly at Christmas at an ungodly hour. Santa doesn't like it." Anya joked whilst Lexa leaned back in her seat and closed her eyes for a minute.
"Never again, if I can help it. It's not worth it. I see that now. My parents were right." She mumbled.
They parked up and the passengers were eager to start their holidays, quickly leaving the crew to be the only ones left.
"So…" Anya stepped out of the cockpit, hugging Raven slightly, who looked at her sympathetically. "Rough one?" She asked the pilot pulling her closer.
"Mmm…" Anya purred, leaning into the embrace. "Don't know what you guys are doing, but I'm heading over to the hotel to take a nap. You with me babe?"
"Sure."
"Which hotel are we in?" Harper asked.
"Probably the usual one… The Marriott just around the corner…" Monty replied with a shrug.
"Yeah, but you've never been to the 'Big Apple' at Christmas." Anya piped up with a grin.
"Oh you guys made some comment in the club." Octavia remembered. "So tell us then. This is ridiculous that we don't know already."
"It was meant as a 'thank you for your work' from the CEO." Lexa finally offered and all eyes zoomed in on her. "The rooms are in the Waldorf Astoria." She revealed with a small smile.
She'd really wanted to give the crew she had stolen Christmas from, a chance at a memorable holiday despite their work schedule. She had done the same for the employees who had had to fly to Honolulu.
"The Waldorf Astoria?" Raven asked surprised, stressing the 'the'.
"Is there another one?" Lexa laughed.
"Ok, we're leaving right now 'cos I want to enjoy all this hotel has to offer." Octavia walked off and everyone but Clarke followed, which made Lexa stop as well.
"What's wrong?"
"You think this gesture was because we complained so badly about having to work? I feel bad for causing such trouble to the CEO."
Lexa melted a bit more at the concern in Clarke's voice. "I'm sure she didn't mind and can afford it."
"It's a woman?" Clarke looked at her in astonishment.
"Um." Lexa looked uncertain. It surprised her that even her gender had remained out of the spotlight. "Yeah the Woods had a daughter."
"Oh, I didn't know. Everyone always talked about 'the child' or 'sole heir' I assumed it must be a man."
"As you do." Lexa cringed.
"Have you met her?"
"Clarke, Lexa you coming or not?" Raven hollered back to them and Lexa sighed in relief, leaving the plane quickly and walking to join the rest of the crew. To answer that question would have been awkward to say the least.
"Oh wow. They have a Spa and Fitness centre." Octavia gushed once they had entered the hotel and she had studied the amenities. "Shall we meet up later for dinner?"
They agreed on a time and place, before Raven and Anya walked off as soon as they had their room key. Monty and Harper vanished just as quickly leaving the remaining three women alone at the reception desk.
"What about you?" Octavia turned to Clarke. "You with me?"
"Sure, but I won't go to the fitness with you." She glared at her friend.
"Fine." The smaller brunette rolled her eyes in good measurement. "Spa it is."
Lexa chuckled to herself about the exchange between the two.
"What are you doing until dinner?" Clarke asked her.
"Don't know." She laughed. She had been so busy lately the prospect of a few hours without a meeting or conference or reading material left her uninspired.
Clarke looked at her in understanding, but before she could say anything the reception staff demanded her attention. "Your keys Ms Griffin." He handed her the card and Octavia pulled the blonde along to finally get upstairs.
"Watch a movie or sleep?" Clarke suggested before she was out of earshot.
"Maybe." She smiled back and watched them step into the elevator before she turned back to the desk and waited for her key.
"We should go out and see the city." Clarke said; gaze fixed on the Chrysler Building she could see from the window. She had quickly dumped her bag and had changed into warm comfortable clothes.
"I don't want to. It's cold and look it's started snowing." Octavia pouted. "What happened to the Spa?"
"It's not really snowing it's more like a flutter." Clarke argued but turned around to face her roommate. "I'm not in the mood for it, but you should go. I'll ask Lexa if she wants to tag along." She mumbled quietly. She'd contemplated, from the moment she'd learned Lexa had no plans, whether she should use her chance to spend time with her or let the brunette relax.
"Ah, wanna spend time with 'Hottie'?" Octavia teased her knowingly.
"Well… What's wrong with getting to know her?"
"Nothing's wrong." The brunette shrugged. "Have fun."
"Will you be ok on your own?"
"Clarke, stop worrying about others and focus on yourself. Message Lexa and see what she says. If she doesn't want to join, you could meet me in the Spa." Octavia proposed.
Clarke (16:00): Hey. This might be a little forward, but I was wondering, since you said you had nothing to do, if you fancied some sightseeing?
Lexa had just changed out of her uniform and had freshened up, when she heard her phone signalling a new text message. Her face brightened immediately when she read the few words.
Lexa (16:01): I'm all yours. Where do you want to go?
Clarke (16:01): You're the one who's been to NY. Show me?
"You're off the hook. Lexa agreed to come with me." Clarke hollered through their spacious room to Octavia who was in the bathroom.
"Ok. Don't be late for dinner."
"We'll meet you there."
"Laters."
Lexa (16:01): Meet me in the lobby in five. It's cold outside, wear something warm.
Clarke grinned, pulled out her scarf and beanie, shrugged into her jacket and quickly made her way to the entrance hall. She spotted Lexa waiting for her at the big staircase. She looked absolutely beautiful in her dark jeans and warm coat. She wore a long, red scarf, which she had wrapped around her neck and let hang loose over her shoulder. She smiled softly when she spotted Clarke.
"Thanks for joining me." The blonde said once she was close enough.
"My pleasure."
They both smiled brightly at each other.
"I'm glad you're not busy today."
"It's Christmas after all."
Clarke nodded with a grin. "Shall we?"
"For real?" Clarke looked puzzled at Lexa. They had walked down Madison Avenue from the hotel to the south entrance of Central Park and had strolled leisurely to the Wollman Rink and were currently watching people ice-skate.
"Yup." Lexa smiled, thoroughly enjoying the uninhibited joy and bemusement on Clarke's face. "People joke that if you see two women dressed in Victorian fashion on the ice in Central Park, you must call a ghost buster." She grinned and followed the blonde's gaze back to the people on the ice.
"Where does the tale come from?" Clarke asked, looking back at Lexa again unable to spot anyone meeting the description of the ghosts.
"Um…" She was taken aback by the beauty in front of her. Clarke's blonde hair was half hidden under a blue-grey beanie and her scarf covered the lower half of her face, but her eyes revealed the hidden smile. They looked at each other for another moment; curious eyes wandered over facial features until Clarke cleared her throat and nudged Lexa. "You there?" She asked the brunette.
"Yeah… yes. Sorry." Lexa's blush wasn't visible as her cheeks were red from the cold. "If I remember correctly the ghosts were two sisters who'd lived close by and loved skating ever since World War I." She finally finished the story.
"Have you -"
"- Seen them?"
Clarke nodded staring intensely at Lexa waiting for the answer.
She started to shake her head. "No never."
The blonde laughed out loud. "I wouldn't have believed you anyway."
"You're not the only one and real party-poopers love to point out that the rink was built in 1949."
"Oh no." Clarke was still laughing. "Someone should tell the sisters."
"Do you skate?" Lexa asked a moment later and watched the smile slowly disappear.
"When I was younger my dad used to take me to the Pershing Square. I haven't been in ages." Clarke answered and tried to keep unaffected by her memory.
"I'm sorry I didn't mean to…" Lexa reached out and took the blonde's hand, caressing her softly.
"No worries. As I said it's been ages." The blonde answered gaze lowered on their clasped hands.
"Doesn't mean you're over it." Lexa mumbled, and squeezed Clarke's hand once more before letting go of her.
"I'm fine." She said with more conviction and looked up again; a small smile supported the trueness of her statement. "Do you skate?" She added.
"Ice-Hockey State Champion in High school and College."
"Of course you are." Clarke shook her head in disbelief, a grin growing on her face. "Anything you're not good at?"
With a shrug and a grin, Clarke couldn't help but swoon. The easiness between the two women settled back.
"Wanna give it a try?" Lexa asked nodding in the direction of the rink.
"If you want to see an impression of a potato sack on ice, sure let's do it."
"You'd look good even as a potato sack." Lexa said quietly, but Clarke heard her anyway and smiled bashfully at the brunette's words.
"Well, let's do it then."
"No, no, no, no." Clarke scream-laughed loudly, waving her hands erratically to keep her balance, but kept struggling until she felt strong hands on her hips stabilizing her, keeping her on her feet. She leaned slightly into the helpful embrace and let herself be pushed across the ice at a slow speed.
"Better?" Lexa asked, mouth close to Clarke's beanie covered ear, but she felt the breath gently caressing her cheek from the exhale of air. She turned her head to thank her saviour, but hadn't calculated Lexa would be this close. They again found each other in very close proximity. Clarke's eyes darted down to Lexa's slightly open mouth and the memory of the other night wormed its way in and they both simply smiled, before Lexa guided them to the side so Clarke could hold onto the railing.
"You've been warned." She laughed, trying to calm her heart.
"I'm not complaining, am I?" Lexa grinned, easing the uncertainty between them.
"So… how often have you been to New York?" Clarke asked curiously eager to change the topic.
"Well, I grew up in Boston, so it's only an hour by plane."
"You could afford regular flights when you grew up?" Clarke asked astonished. She herself had been nineteen when she had stepped onto an airplane for the first time. It had been her mum's attempt to convince her to go to medical school by bribing her with a trip to England.
"Well, my parents could afford it and I'm an only child." Lexa shrugged. "Probably their way of making up for leaving me alone."
"There are worse compensations, if you ask me." Clarke tried to ignore the sombre expression and returned the gesture from earlier and squeezed Lexa's hand. "So what did a young Lexa Hayes do in New York?"
Lexa looked up from her hand currently cradled in the blonde's warm one and met deep blue eyes watching her curiously. "After a couple of years I'd seen all the tourist things and started to explore the real city." The smile returned and she added. "Speaking of, wanna get going?"
"Sure."
Lexa helped her get off the ice and once they found an empty bench Clarke immediately took of the shoes, wriggled her toes and sighed in contentment. "I really don't get how you could spend any length of time in these." She glared at the footwear. "They're really hurt."
"I got used to the pain." Lexa laughed and gestured for Clarke to give her the skates. Clarke looked at her quizzically for another moment, before rolling her lips into her mouth and stopping herself from saying anything and instead handed her the shoes and watched her walk away.
"You want to see more of the park?" The brunette asked after she had given back the rented items and re-joined Clarke at the boards.
"Ok." The blonde nodded and let herself be led back to the snowy path. They walked in silence for a little while, Lexa enjoying the cold air and snow powdered trees and bushes before she stopped them, turning Clarke towards to her. "Hey, what's going on in that beautiful mind of yours?" She asked softly.
Clarke smiled at the words and stopped in the middle of a bridge leaning against the banister. "Do you miss Boston?"
"I'm going back and forth, so no not really."
"Do you still have friends there?"
"I never had many. Back in the day it wasn't ok to be gay, but I never made a secret out of my orientation." It wasn't a lie, but it wasn't the truth either. She sighed.
"Did your parents accept you?"
"It took a while, but eventually they did. There were other things, more important matters they worried about. I can't really remember the last time I saw them. They were always somewhere else and never for too long at one destination."
"They sound just as busy as you." Clarke joked. "What were their professions?"
Lexa looked at her intensely, thankful for the unvoiced 'sorry' she usually got when she talked about her absent family. She wasn't really sure how much more she could reveal. On one hand she wanted Clarke to know everything about her, on the other she wondered if she knew her enough to trust she wouldn't turn into a nightmare. She had been there before.
"They created their own business. Both of them were involved in different positions." She slowly explained, jumping over the borders of her comfort zone.
"How come you haven't taken over their business if you're an only child? Not interested?" Clarke asked with a smile and Lexa blinked a few times.
'I can do this. I can trust her. I can be brave. She is not like everyone else.' She inhaled deeply and finally managed a quiet "I have."
As soon as the truth has left her mouth, Lexa felt her chest deflate painfully. Her heart was beating uncontrollably inside her chest, and the voice inside her screamed 'run'. She didn't, she remained rooted to the spot and carefully watched the blonde.
"Aaah, hence you being so busy. Gotcha." Clarke smiled but it vanished when she took in her expression. "Are you ok?"
"Yes." Lexa's mind went a million miles a second and her eyes nervously flickered over the blue in front of her. She licked her lips and tried to focus on her breathing.
"I don't believe you." The blonde stated after a moment, but shrugged at the same time indicating she'd drop the topic if Lexa wanted to. She had the feeling it was better to not pressure her any further as the pilot looked uncomfortable and ready to take off. Clarke watched her with concern, all the while berating herself for bringing up Lexa's parents. She didn't even know when they'd died. For all she knew, it could have been recently and she had been stupid to ask so many question of such a sensitive matter. Whatever her parents had left her to deal with certainly meant a lot to her, if she tried to handle her day job and their business. 'Maybe Lexa will tell me one day on her own accord,' she thought, and smiled before pointing over Lexa's shoulder to guide their conversation back to the stress-free. "Oh, look. Mulled wine."
Lexa had looked at her the whole time, trying to figure out what was going through her head, but had come up without any inclination of her train of thought. She watched her for another moment, eyes wide at the sudden change. She couldn't believe Clarke wouldn't say anything. 'Does she understand what I've just told her? Did she purposefully change the subject? Does it not bother her at all that I'm her boss?' Lexa could taste the sweat above her upper lip and felt her clothes clinging to her body. She was utterly lost in the enigma in front of her and so she went for the offered route back to easiness and turned to where the woman was pointing. 'Maybe Clarke just needs a little time to process?' For better or worse, Lexa wanted to give her that. "You want some?"
"Mm. Yes." Clarke smiled and pulled the still confused woman along. "My treat."
They enjoyed the hot beverage and Clarke had managed to push them into a heated debate whether hot chocolate or hot wine was the traditional winter drink, whilst they slowly meandered through the park, effectively distracting Lexa.
When they walked past the Metropolitan Museum of Art Lexa caught the interested look on Clarke's face. She remembered being told that the blonde had wanted to become an artist before her father's death. Unsure, if she should bring it up again she rattled off the current exhibitions in the museum, but leaving out the obvious question.
"Not my kind of art." Clarke said.
"What is your style?" Lexa jumped at the offered chance to talk about the topic nevertheless.
"I never really had a style. I loved doing abstracts as well as realistic paintings of people or landscapes. I even tried a little architectural drawing, but I've been told my house would collapse." She laughed. "Are you interested in art?"
It was easier for Lexa to open up, after she had practically told Clarke her biggest secret. "My parents made sure I was properly educated with an adequate balance between my interest for sport and their interest for the finer things in life. I learned to appreciate art."
"What kind of art do you like?" Clarke was even more intrigued by Lexa if that was entirely possible. She usually faced disinterest and ignorance, even teasing, whenever she talked about a painting or drawing she liked with her friends.
"I value any kind of art, but abstracts are really difficult for me to accept as such. A randomly placed dot of any colour on a differently painted canvas just doesn't speak to me as much as a picture of something I can relate to."
"I'll have you know it's really difficult to create such a simple piece with only two colours which should support each other, but at the same time fight for dominance." Clarke grinned.
"You mean the weirdly placed drop of colour should harmonize with the background but stand out as sore thumb?"
"Exactly." Clarke laughed.
"Naaah, sorry. Still think a first grader can paint better than that." Lexa grinned.
"Fair enough. Do you want to go in?"
"I'd rather go to the Guggenheim. Have you been?"
"No!" Clarke exclaimed excitingly. "Is it nearby?"
"Half a mile I'd guess." Lexa didn't need to ask upon seeing the bright eyes and big smile on the blonde's face. "Come on then."
"Have you been to it recently?" Clarke asked animatedly.
"Last time I've been was ages ago. Not the best memory though."
Clarke stopped herself from asking if she had been with her parents and remained silent. They reached the museum and quickly walked to the famous Thannhauser Gallery, which was located in the spiral part of the building.
"Can I ask you something?" Lexa broke the silence with her quiet question. Upon Clarke's nod she proceeded. "You told me you haven't painted for a long time. Have you never felt the urge to draw or paint anything again?"
"I have…" Clarke looked from the painting in front of her to Lexa. "It vanished again."
"What happened?" She asked, but immediately paddled back at the intimacy of the question. "You don't have to tell me of course if you -"
"My ex broke my heart and destroyed my muse." Clarke interrupted her, walking over to another painting. "Haven't found a new one." She glanced back over to Lexa who had followed her. "Yet."
The brunette nodded knowingly. She remembered Anya telling her about Clarke's story the day she had helped her at the airport to get rid of the ex-girlfriend. She then smiled at the one word indicating hope. "So you think you might start again?"
"Maybe."
"What was your muse?"
"Love, mainly. That warm feeling of home, of belonging. That light feeling of fulfilment and enrichment to my world. It gave me the ability to see beyond the obvious, to open up to the unexpected underneath the covers." She sighed and sauntered to the next painting. "For now, the world still looks a little dull and abrasive." She mused, unfocused before jolting out of her reverie and smiling sheepishly at Lexa. "Guess that doesn't make any sense." She shrugged.
"Surprisingly it does."
Clarke turned fully to look at her, eyes scanning her face for an unvoiced question. "Burnt by love too?" She finally asked.
"Destroyed and pulverised."
They grinned despite the graveness of their topic. They both knew it was in the past and they had moved on. They were both a little careful and scared, but neither had given up the prospect of being happy at some point in the future.
They remained silent for only a short time, before starting to share ideas and facts about the paintings and artists around them, and both completely lost their sense of time and had to be asked to leave as the museum was closing.
"Wow, that's the longest I've ever been with someone in a gallery. I'm usually dragged elsewhere after 20 minutes." Clarke laughed when they stepped out into the cold December night.
"I enjoyed your company as well as the pictures. Where else would I go if I could have both?" Lexa smiled and checked her mobile for the time. "We should get to the Rockefeller Centre to meet the others."
They hailed a taxi and within a few moments they were stood at the meeting point, waiting for the rest of the group.
"I had a great time." Clarke said quietly to Lexa, who stood close to her seeking the warmth and comfort she had provided for the last couple of hours. She looked over and got lost in the sincerity of Clarke's words reflected in deep blue eyes. "Thanks for everything." The blonde whispered.
"Me too." She managed. "Thanks for asking me to come along."
Clarke nodded and they simply smiled contently at each other when Octavia, who had sneaked up on them, ambushed the blonde. "Hey." She complained whilst her friend yelled. "You had fun?"
"Where have you been?" Raven had finally caught up and eyed Clarke's red face and shivering form. "Have you been out long?"
"We went for a walk." The blonde offered.
"We?" Anya looked at Lexa who looked equally frozen to the marrow.
"Little city tour…" Lexa answered evasively sensing the question was rhetorical anyway.
"Let's get you two in the warmth." The other pilot said instead of probing any further and they walked into the Rockefeller building to settle for food.
An hour later the group had warmed up and was enjoying their drinks after finishing their dinners in a comfortable silence, broken once in a while by an approving sound or mumble.
"That was amazing food." Raven said, leaning back, stroking her belly and looking at Clarke. "I can't believe you could eat that much."
The blonde just shrugged. "Hey I had some exercise in the form of walking and skating and shivering." She excused her hunger. "Besides, I haven't really eaten anything today."
"Fair point." Raven grinned naughtily and let her eyebrows dance suggestively when Anya slapped her, hissing "stop it".
"Oh come on guys." Clarke groaned once she understood the double meaning of her words, and hid her face behind her hands.
"What is it? Getting squirmy?" Raven laughed, when the blonde just flipped her off and took a big sip of her drink.
"Change of topic. It's still early, any ideas of what we could do?"
Clarke had never been more appreciative for Monty than in that moment and she smiled gratefully at him, but shook her head and looked over to her afternoon guide. Lexa rattled off a few attractions they could check out and the group quickly settled on visiting the Top of the Rock.
The line for the elevators had been long but after Lexa had talked to some men in suits the group was guided to the front and entered the lift within twenty minutes.
"How did she manage that?" Raven asked approvingly.
"The commander has her ways." Anya laughed and playfully pushed Lexa.
"The commander?" Clarke asked, raising an eyebrow.
"A story for another walk, maybe." Lexa answered, blushing.
They smiled at each other before everyone was distracted by the clear ceiling of the elevator cabin offering a light show.
It was busy on the observation desk, but they managed to get some great pictures and everyone was in awe of the view. Due to the cold winds they didn't stay long and found themselves again on the plaza. The group gathered around a table, which offered some warmth from an integrated heating system, enjoyed hot drinks and chatted animatedly when Monty laughed out all of a sudden.
"I just realised." He explained. "You guys are under the mistletoe." He pointed up and everyone followed the length of his finger and then dropped to the two people underneath, before turning and shooting daggers at the oblivious man. Anya had seen it earlier, but didn't want to spook Lexa and Raven and Octavia had simply ignored it, knowing the blonde didn't want their help.
Clarke had never been more ungrateful for Monty than in that moment and she grimaced helplessly at Lexa, who to the blonde's surprise smiled shyly at her. Clarke remembered their talk and Lexa's admission that she did like her and after watching the brunette for another frantic heartbeat, she leaned in whilst softly whispering "sorry" and pressed her lips purposefully but gently against Lexa's own. The brunette was too stunned to react in time and the kiss ended before she could reciprocate but it left her stunned and dazed and she kept standing in the middle of Rockefeller Plaza, eyes still closed, mouth slightly open and panting slightly, trying hopelessly to calm her heartbeat, when she heard a gasp of surprise followed by a voice she would recognise in a million different ones.
"Lexa?"
She slowly opened her eyes and turned towards the sound. "Costia." She spat out.
Let the drama begin... :)
Thanks to all your wonderful feedback. I simply can't get enough of it. Keep it going and hopefully you've enjoyed the update. I'll post soon again.
