Chapter 7: Legend of The Gobblewonker: Our Family Fun Day

Finally, the S.S. Cool Dude was in sight!

We belted for the grounded vessel. I leaped into the deck, Soos tossed Dipper to me, Mabel crawled off of Soos' back, and he clambered finally on board. Our combined weight offset the boat back into the water, and Soos took the wheel.

"Now let's get outta here, dudes!"

While the boat was steered in reverse away from the island, the monstrosity of the Gobblewonker crawled through the forest, roaring and knocking down trees like bowling pins.

"All right, this is it," said Dipper.

He pulled out another of his disposable cameras, and aimed for a shot, but there was a small problem.

"Cracked lens?! Soos, get a photo!"

But Soos was too busy throwing cameras at the pursuing monster to think of that idea.

"WHAT ARE YOU DOING?!" Dipper screamed.

"Oh," Soos realized. "I still got one left, dude. Here!" He tossed the remaining camera, but it hit the edge of the helm and shattered into colorful plastic bits and rolls of film.

On the shore, the monster leaped into the water. It's long giraffe neck rose out of the water, and it cast a shadow over the deck. Soos ran to helm, and shifted the boat into higher gear.

The monster continued it's predatory chase. It aimed and tried to grab the boat in its mouth, but missed, and the impact of its strike cause the boat to ride a high wave. The wave tossed Soos into the helm, and Dipper and Mabel and I bounced as the boat landed. It reminded me too much of the waves at the Jersey shore.

Soos steered the boat out of reverse and back into forward gear.

"Gogogogogo!" shouted Dipper.

Soos pushed a lever, and the boat streaked across the lake and away from the oppressive danger behind us.

But there was yet another issue ahead of us.

"Oh no!" I cried. "It's chasing us toward Stan!"

QHVVLH KDV QRWKLQJ RQ WKLV PRQVWHU!

Meanwhile, Stan was having trouble with a knot on his fishing line. "Ter-ga-moni-colic," he muttered.

"Can you pwease tell me more funny stories, Pop Pop?" asked a child's voice. The voice belonged to a child who closely resembled Dipper, but was younger. He was sitting in a boat next to his sister who closely resembled Mabel, and the two of them were listening to an elderly man who looked nothing like Stan.

"Anything for my fishing buddies," the man replied. He laughed, rubbing the Dipper kid's head.

Stan growled at the sight.

"Pop Pop," said the Dipper kid, bashfully. "I just wealized that..." his eyes grew round as he whispered his next words. " … I wove you."

"Aw, c'mon!" yelled Stan. "BOOOOOO! BOOOOOO!"

"Eh-heh- Hey now, what's the big idea?" questioned the grandfatherly man.

"Maybe he has no one who woves him, Pop Pop," replied the surprisingly insightful Dipper kid.

"Yeah, we-well I-I-"

But Stan was interrupted by Soos' boat rushing in out of nowhere, followed by the towering Gobblewonker in hot pursuit. The wake of the monster washed over the grandfather and his grandchildren, and Stan was thoroughly soaked as well.

He threw his hat in frustration.

Then sighed and sank into his boat.

SRRU VWDQ. KH JHWV QR ORYH.

The monster was outrageously fast, and gaining speed. I hoped that there was something other than us on board that could detain or else stop it completely.

The only thing I saw was the barrel of fish food. I grabbed the rim and dragged it to the stern.

"Iz, what are you doing?!" cried Mabel, alarmed.

"I might only be a side character, but I'm not dying today!" I called back.

I heaved the whole barrel overboard, and watched to see what the monster would do.

It didn't even pause.

It rammed the barrel right through, and scattered fish flakes everywhere. If no one caught any fish, it was because they had congregated where the barrel was destroyed.

"Well, I'm out of options," I shrugged.

The Gobblewonker never lost speed. It chased us back around Scuttlebutt Island, and down the other side of it.

"Soos!" cried Dipper. "Beaver!"

The beaver shipwreck laid right in front of us!

– "We're still beavers," said one in it's animal language. –

Soos tried to steer the boat away, but we rammed into the wreck starboard side, blasting the ship to smithereens and sending splinters and beavers flying into the air.

Angry beavers rained on the boat, clinging and chewing on every surface.

Including us.

Two were on Dipper's head, one grabbed Mabel's arm, and three clung to my ponytail. Another one leaped into Soos' face, and he ran from the wheel, disoriented and yelling a muffled "Dude!" Mabel shook the beaver off her arm, and took the helm.

While Mabel steered the boat away from the misted waters of Scuttlebutt Island, Dipper was able to shake off the buck-toothed rodents biting his hat, and many of the other beavers lost their grip as the boat changed direction. I had to grab my ponytail and whack it against the port side of the boat to loosen the vengeful rodents off.

While Dipper pulled off a beaver that was chewing the starboard side of the boat, Soos was running around in circles crying "Owowowowowow!" with a beaver on his face.

Dipper chucked beavers out of the boat. One beaver leaped on my shoulder, and I body-slammed the deck to get it off me. The Gobblewonker sank it's neck back into the water, while beavers continued to fall unceremoniously into the lake.

The lake monster followed us closely under the water. We now found ourselves speeding through a narrow channel of the lake where there were many people fishing in boats. We swerved to avoid them, but the Gobblewonker upset the boats and they flipped into the air, spilling screaming fishermen, poles, and tackle boxes.

Manly Dan was fighting a fish, and had it in a headlock. "HEADLOCK!" he yelled.

His sons cheered, "Dad! Dad! Dad!"

Until their boat tossed them all in the air from the wake of the monster. The Corduroy guys fell into the lake, and came up gasping for breath. The fish they caught rained on their heads.

"The fishes?" asked Manly Dan incredulously. "THEY SEEK REVENGE! SWIM, BOYS! SWIM!" They swam for shore and for safety.

We were still trying to escape the monster and rid ourselves of our rodent problem. Poor Soos still had a beaver clinging to his face, and he was trying to pry it off. Mabel steered, while Dipper and I continued to toss beavers out.

The Gobblewonker rose it's head back out of the water, roaring and shaking water from it's protruding canines and scaly face. It swung it's head trying to strike us, but Mabel swerved away from it. The beast tried again, and succeeded in knocking off the roof of the helm and the remaining beavers off the boat. We had ducked before it could knock us overboard.

Soos was still struggling to get the stubborn beaver off his face, so I grab it's scaly tail and pulled it. But it slipped from my grasp, and I fell to the deck. As I steadied myself, I saw ourselves speeding toward yet another obstacle. "Ahh! Mabel, Look out!"

"Easy, easy," said a mustached man. He and a fellow worker were carrying a glass window between their boats.

We didn't have time to avoid it.

"The glass!" yelled the other man after it shattered.

We had no time to apologize. The boat had found it's way into a narrow channel, and was leading toward a cliff with a waterfall.

"Where do I go?" cried Mabel. The twins looked to me and Soos for help, but I was too busy trying to pry the beaver off his face and being just as helpless as they were. The cliff was approaching fast.

Dipper pulled out the journal and flipped rapidly through the pages, searching for a solution. "Um... uh-uh- Go to the falls!" he exclaimed. "I think there might be a cave behind there!"

"Might be?!" cried Mabel.

I had finally succeeded in prying the wood-eating rodent from Soos' mug. But as we approached the rocky falls, we screamed and we shielded our eyes, Mabel with her hands, Dipper with the journal, I with my ponytail, and Soos with the beaver.

We braced for impact.

We sped under the pouring falls and into a cave. What was left of the boat ran aground on the sand, and flipped us off unto the floor. Soos landed both beaverless and topless. I landed face down on the sand floor, and disgusted spat grit out of my mouth.

After picking ourselves up and dusting off sand, the Gobblewonker shot into the cove. We screamed, and held each other, waiting for the monster to eat us.

But...

The roaring beast had jammed itself into the mouth of the cave. As it struggled to break free, stalactites and bits of rock fell from the roof of the cave. It roared in anger.

"It's stuck!" said Mabel.

"Ha, ha. Yeah!" said Dipper with triumph. "Wait. It's stuck?"

We ran up high ledge to get a better view.

"This is our chance, Dipper!" I exclaimed.

Dipper realized that this was the winning shot he was looking for. He reached inside his life jacket to get a camera, but then panicked.

He had no more. He searched about, but then Mabel picked up his hat, revealing the last camera, with a "Boo."

Dipper laughed at the face of failure, and began taking photos of the trapped lake monster. It tried to snap at him, but was just out of reach. Dipper was so happy, he was hopping as he snapped photo after photo.

"Did you get a good one?" Mabel asked him.

"They're ALL good ones!" exclaimed her brother. While the two of them cheered over their good fortune, Mabel placed Dipper's hat back on his head and they hugged each other.

"Looks like we'll be getting our one thousand dollars worth after all," I remarked. We could have died, but for once, I was too happy to care.

The monster kept roaring, the echoes of his defeat shaking the roof of the cave, until a large stalactite fell on it's snout with a metallic thud. The neck lowered, shooting sparks, into the pool of water under it.

"What the...?" asked Dipper, expressing all our thoughts out loud. He leaped off the ledge, and headed toward a fin of the creature, whose eyes were flickering like dying light bulbs.

"Huh?" Dipper felt the side of the monster's torso, then jumped back at how cold the scaly side felt.

"What's wrong?" called his sister. He furrowed his brow, and banged his knuckles against the monster, and a metallic sound echoed back. He then began climbing across the back of the Gobblewonker.

"Careful, dude!" called Soos.

"I've got this. Hold on!" Dipper called back, continuing his ascension. Soos, Mabel, and I held our breath, afraid of what Dipper might find.

"Hey, guys!" called Dipper from the back of the beast. "Come check this out!"

After waiting for the three of us to catch up, he showed us a door that was closed in the middle of the creature's back. Dipper and Mabel looked at each other, and Dipper grasped the wheel of the door and spun it. Steam hissed out as the tumbler pulled back in the door. Dipper then threw back the door, revealing hot steam and unlocking the secret to the mystery.

Inside...

… was none other than a crazy bearded old man, trying to work the gears of the monster machine.

"Eh?" he asked looking up at us. "Ahh, banjo polish!" he cussed.

"Old Man McGucket?!" I exclaimed.

"Wha-Y-You?!" exclaimed Dipper. "You made this? Wha-wha-why?"

"Well I... I, uh..." McGucket seemed ashamed. "I just wanted attention."

"I still don't understand," replied Dipper. None of us did.

"Well, first I just hooti-nannied up a bio-mechanical brain-wave generator, and then I learned to operate a stick shift with my beard."

"OK, yeah, but ..." replied Mabel. "Why did you do it?"

McGucket removed his hat. "Well, when you get to be an old fella like me, nobody pays any attention to you anymore," he explained. "My own son hasn't visited me in months. So I figured maybe I'd catch his fancy with a fifteen ton aquatic robot."

He laughed manically. Then sighed.

"In retrospect, it seems a bit contrived. You just don't know the length us old-timers go through for a little quality time with our family."

Dipper and Mabel removed the hats that Stan had made them, and sighed sadly. So did I.

"Dude," said Soos. "I guess Isannah was right, in a way: the real lake monster is you guys. Heh heh."

We looked at him.

"Sorry, I just like-Boom!- just popped into my head there."

"Sooo," Mabel asked McGucket. "Did you ever talk to your son about how you felt?"

"No sir," he replied. "I got to work straight on the robut."

He pulled a lever, and a projector and projector screen popped up, revealing the blueprints of the Gobblewonker robot. "I made lots of robuts in my day."

He clicked a button to change the picture slide on the projector. A news article photo showed a robot pterodactyl in flight spewing fire and terrorizing townspeople.

"Back when my wife left me and I created a homicidal Pterodactyl-Tron. Oh," – he changed the slide to a photo of a man, – "and my pal, Ernie, didn't come to my retirement party," – the slide changed to robot shooting fire from his fire...arm – "and I constructed an eighty-ton Shame-Bot that EXPLODED the entire downtown area!"

He laughed his maniacal laugh, and I wrapped my arms protectively around the twins.

"Well, time to get back to work on my death ray."

He ducked back into the robot control room, and we heard sawing, drilling, and jackhammer sounds come from inside. No wonder his wife left him, I thought. His hand popped back up."Any of you kids got a screwdriver?"

I sighed. "You know, Stan might not be perfect," I remarked. "But he went to some trouble bringing us out here, so we could have fun together. I just wish I realized that sooner."

"We all do," replied Dipper.

"I don't," said Soos. "I was just driving."

"Well," said a disappointed Dipper, removing his camera. "So much for the photo contest."

"We still have one roll of film left," replied Mabel.

"What do you wanna do with it?" Dipper asked.

"I think I have an idea," I said with a hopefully smile. It's not too late.

RK, LW'V WRR ODWH WR DSRORJLCH …

The sun was setting behind the cliffs that fringed the lake, and Stan, the last lone fisherman, was despondently making his way back to shore.

He sighed. Nothing had gone as he planned.

His relatives ditched him, his Family Fun Day was a bust, and he caught nothing at all that day. Even his tenant left him stranded by the dock. He was really looking forward to spending some actual quality time with his grand-nephew and grand-niece. And his tenant. But even she rejected him.

Why, he went to the trouble of making hats for those kids.

But they didn't want to be bothered with him.

No one did.

Especially not his own family.

"Hey! Over here!" called Dipper. We saw that the S.S. Cool Dude was still functional, and had set it out in pursuit of Stan. We waved as we came in sight of his boat, hoping to catch his attention as Soos steered us by.

Dipper took a photo of Stan with the remaining camera.

"What the-"said Stan in response. "Kids? I thought you three were off playin' spin the bottle with Soos."

"Well," replied Dipper. "We spent all day trying to find a legendary dinosaur."

"But," Mabel added. "We realized that the only dinosaur we want to hang out with is right here."

"Save your sympathy!" replied Stan dismissively. "I've been having a great time without cha." He counted off his fingers as he spoke. "Making friends, talking to my reflection, I had a run in with the lake police. Guess I got to wear this ankle bracelet now, so that'll be fun."

"So, I guess there isn't room in that boat for four more?" asked Dipper.

Stan squinted at us suspiciously. Dipper and Mabel placed the hats he made for them on their appreciatively. I hope he makes a quick decision, I thought. What's left of this boat's sinking.

We didn't have to wait long.

"You knuckleheads ever seen me thread a hook with my eyes closed?" asked Stan by means of invitation.

"Five bucks says you can't do it," challenged Dipper.

"You're on!" replied Stan. Dipper hopped aboard.

"Five more bucks says you can't do it with your eyes closed, plus me singing at the top of my lungs!" challenged Mabel.

"I like those odds," said Stan. Mabel got aboard the STANOWAR.

"It feels good to be called a knucklehead again," I said, coming aboard.

Soos just invited himself on board since his boat was pretty much swamped. "Whoa," remarked Stan. "What happened to your shirt?"

"Long story, dude," said Soos in response.

"All right, everybody get together," said Dipper. He held his disposable camera for a picture. "Say: fishing!"

"Fishing," the rest of us said.

"Dude, am I in the frame?" asked Soos. Dipper snapped the photo, and captured a moment to remember, and many more.

After that, I asked Stan, "Does this mean that I can call you 'Grunkle' now?"

"Only those two knuckleheads can call me that, kid," Stan replied.

"How 'bout just 'uncle?'"

"Don't make me dump you overboard."

"Oh, come on, it ain't that bad, 'Uncle Stan.'"

Soos and the twins gave me an odd look. "That sounds weird coming from you," replied Mabel.

"Agreed; I'll stop," I conceded.

With the waning sunlight hours, we fished, heard poor jokes, stole someone else's catch, and Stan had another run in with the lake police. All in all, a day redeemed.

The memories we were making reminded me of some that I had forgotten: my dad, brothers, and I rowing a canoe down the Susquehanna River in Pennsylvania; taking photos of our family at Niagara Falls in New York; fishing off a pier in New Jersey. Driving home, with no fish caught, my dad remarking, "I had a good time, didn't you kids?

"But dad, we didn't catch anything. How is that fun?" one of my brothers asked.

"But that doesn't matter. All that matters to me is that I had time with my family."

I didn't understand it any more than my brothers did at the time. But sometimes even boring lessons, like patience for a fish to bite, can teach us something that will be remembered and cherished forever: how to appreciate your family.

As we returned at last back to the shore for home after a long day of fun, thrills, and adventure,

I settled down in the boat, and began writing another entry in my journal. Somehow, it survived being soaked more than once. My entry was short:

Well God, today we hunted for and found the legendary Gobblewonker. It was an adventure that taught me the importance of family togetherness as well as determine that beavers are notoriously protective of their homes.

Even though it almost killed us, I almost wish that the Gobblewonker was real. The creature would be like a leviathan; outrageously huge, faster than waves, mysterious as the ocean. It's eyes would glow, and it would evade detection by swimming into the depths of the lake. It's aquatic like a seal, but of course would have to come up for air, but it would be so discreet, that even if it were close to a fisherman, he wouldn't recognize-

We hit a bump in the lake.

"What was that?" questioned Dipper. Mabel shrugged.

I wondered about it, but decided to finish my thoughts in my writing.

After another harrowing adventure, Dipper decided to let the Gobblewonker mystery be left unsolved, and let the camera with the evidence sink into the murky depths. But as the camera sank, an aquatic creature swam by and swallowed it, descending into the deep darkness of the lake.

LW'V UHDO!?

PDBEH …

When we got home, the twins had almost fallen asleep on the way back, so they went to bed straightaway. Before Stan went to retire to his room, I decided mentioned something.

"Stan, I'm sorry that we didn't want to go fishing with you earlier."

He paused on the stairwell, and turned back puzzled.

"I really hadn't considered your feelings, and that was rude of me."

I had written an apology to God as well, but He wasn't the one who needed to hear it. "Can you forgive me?"

"Oh, save your sympathy," he dismissed, but with a tone that said all was forgiven. "I just need to keep a better eye on you, make sure you don't lure those kids into trouble."

Seeing the smile on his face, I replied, "Me? Trouble? I'm not the one with the ankle bracelet."

"Touche."

I laughed. "Soooo, are we friends?"

"Yeah, sure," Stan said nonchalantly, but he took off his fishing hat and placed it on my head. "Just don't call me 'uncle,' and we'll be best buddies. Well, see ya tomorrow." He yawned and headed to his bedroom.

I removed his fishing hat, smiled at it, and took it with me upstairs to my own room, already falling asleep.

VKH ZRQ'W EH FDOOLQJ KLP "XQFOH."

Earlier, while Stan was telling jokes, another pelican (or maybe the same one) landed on Stan's boat, and Mabel jumped at the chance of telling one of her own lame puns.

"Who wants to hear a joke?" She made the pelican her puppet again.

"Not me," replied Dipper. He had heard enough of Stan's jokes. He wasn't in a laughing mood.

"He-yeh- Yeah, you do," giggled Mabel through the pelican. "Here it goes: why did the pelican get kicked out of the restaurant?"

"I don't caaaare!"

"'Cause he had a very big bill. La, la, la, la. Yuk, yuk, yuk. Blah, bleh, bluh."

Dipper groaned. "Boooo. Bad joke. Bad pelican joke."

"Yay, hooray!"

QHAW ZHHN: UHWXUQ WR EXWW LVODQG.

A/N Hey-lo fellow readers! I was thinking about maybe going a little off the wall and placing a short between each actual episode. Since the Gravity Falls shorts are, of course, short, I figured that they would help give me the space to develop Isannah's character a little more since the episodes are pretty much all fully scripted out and leave little room for adding much without changing the story or affecting the flow too much. I know that the shorts weren't aired until after almost the end of Season 1, but since they have no real time reference as to when they might take place within the series (except for the shorts where Waddles and Mabel's friends appear), I figured that I could get away with adding in a least a few here and there between actual episodes. What do you guys think? Give me your opinions in the reviews section and let me know.