Back by popular demand! Miss me? If not, you are not worthy. Haha, kidding.

Disclaimer Notice: I do not have the rights to Twilight. I do, however, have the rights to drool over the newly buff Taylor Launter. I mean, c'mon I'm only human.

Best Served Cold

APOV

Okay, I thought, so our first plan didn't work. It's okay; it's just a minor setback. We can still win this thing. I mean, with Jasper controlling those Lady S and Mr. Repressed, we can't lose! ....Can we? I paced the room rapidly, trying to think of an idea to make Edward break. It must have been easier than I was making it. Plus there was the whole revenge thing we still had to deal with…

I gasped as a brilliant plan struck me. It makes perfect sense, why didn't I think of that before?? I thought, a smile one could only describe as diabolical spread slowly across my face.

"Jasper…" I whispered, knowing that wherever he was in the house, he could hear me. He was at my side instantly.

"Yes, darling," He said sweetly, gazing lustfully into my eyes. It was obvious that Edward and Bella's second failed attempt had gotten Jasper a little worked up. The way he was looking at me, sweetly, but slightly predatory, as though he was devouring me with his eyes, made my mind go blank. If I'd still had a heartbeat, it would have tripled by then. He leaned in a little to kiss me, but I stopped myself.

"No time, Jazz. I have a plan," I said, placing my hand over his lips so they wouldn't temp me.

"Can't your plan wait 'til tomorrow….or next year…?" He said smoothly, leaning in a little more. I flew across the room so I could catch some air.

"Stop that!" Jasper smirked. "It's not funny. We are going to get back at Emmett, but while we do, we are going to need to keep control…at least for part of it…alright?" I said sharply. He nodded.

"So what is this plan of yours?" He asked. I explained it to him quickly, knowing that I didn't have much time. By the time I was done, Jasper had the same wicked look on his face.

"Have I ever told you…" Jasper said with an impish smile. "…that I love you?" He walked over and wrapped his arms around me, and I didn't stop him. By now, the lust had died down a tad, and it had been replaced with something I liked almost more than the lust: determination. For vengeance.

We sat in the room for a few more minutes formulating the plan. Jasper added a few details that made me squeal in delight.

"Jazz, you are brilliant!" I squeaked as I hugged him. "So now…when to set our plan in motion…?" Jasper was about to reply, but stopped suddenly and held a finger to my lips. He looked as though he was listening, but I could tell he was just trying to sense emotions.

"Lust, a lot of it," He replied. "And it's nowhere near Lady S," He didn't need to continue, I saw it.

"Rosalie is rewarding Emmett for foiling their plans," I stated, having seen it already.

"Not yet, but she will. Soon," He added. "Now is as good a time as any." Jasper nodded his head, and I rushed out of the room.

"Oh, Bella!" I called sweetly. I could hear her and Edward talking in his room.

"What does Alice want now?" Bella whined. There was a slight rustling of the sheets, and I guessed she had snuggled closer to Edward.

"No need to worry, I'll protect you from my sister." He laughed. I resent that!

"Here human, human, human. I won't bite…" I called, adding a little suggestiveness to my voice. She seemed to understand.

"I'll go see what she wants," Bella laughed.

"I'd better—" Edward began.

"Edward, stay!" I called back.

"And why must I stay, dear sister?" His voice oozed sarcasm.

"Because Bella and I are having secret girl time. And as you have neither secrets nor any female features that we are aware of, Bella is coming with me. Alone." I accentuated the last part, and he huffed indignantly.

"You get ten minutes, and then I come in after her." He said darkly. I just laughed. Bella descended the stairs.

"Yes, oh master?" Bella said sarcastically. I lowered my voice.

"Bella, we are seeking revenge on Emmett for his interruption and overall idiocy and perversion," I said plainly. Her chocolate brown eyes lit up and she smiled.

"I'm in." I squealed again. As I explained the plan to her, her eyes widened more and her smile grew larger.

"Alice, you are an evil genius. But…" She trailed off. I smiled.

'Tell Edward when it's time for him to play his part," Bella nodded approvingly. "And I'll tell you when that time comes." She smiled.

"This'll work," She said confidently.

"Of course it will," I winked, and she understood. "So go back to Edward, I'll tell you when we need you," Bella smiled, hugged me quickly and rushed back up the stairs.

"What was that all about?" He asked her. She shrugged.

"You'll know soon," She said teasingly. Nice job being coy, Bella. I nodded as I walked down the stairs. Emmett and Rosalie were there, as planned, cuddling on the couch, looking very…lusty. I smiled and bounced into the room and applauded sarcastically.

"Oh, bravo. Really, Emmett, you have truly outdone yourself," I smirked angrily.

"Why thank you, Alice. You know I always like to keep my woman satisfied," He kissed Rose's neck sweetly. She grinned.

"No, Mr. Sexuality, not what I meant. I was referring to you reaching new levels of idiocy and perversion. Which actually means you may have destroyed the laws of physics and torn the space-time continuum," I snapped. Emmett grinned.

"Oh come on, Alice, as if you and Jasper are celibate. Don't act like we've never walked in on the two of you either. I can't help it if my man chooses to be little more…" She paused and kissed his cheek. "…open about our romantic life," Rosalie smirked as she planted a passionate kiss on Emmett's lips. I simply stood there, tapping my heel impatiently until one of them looked up.

"What do you want, Alice?"

"Oh, you know, I just wanted to congratulate you for ruining all my hard work to give Bella enough confidence with Edward. I mean, I worked hard on that look, and you just burst in with your stupid paintball gun and messed up everything! And on top of that, you then start ogling her like she's a piece of meat!" I shrieked, though I made an effort to block Edward from my mind and stop him from hearing. Emmett's face fell as Rosalie interpreted my words.

"Ogling her like a piece of meat, huh?" She snapped.

"It's true," Jasper appeared at my side. "I could feel it. I promise you, the lust in that room doubled when Emmett saw Bella. It was…well, it was pretty disgusting, actually," Jasper shuddered. I did my best to keep from smiling. Rosalie gasped.

"Emmett Cullen, is this true? Stupid question, of course it's true!" Rosalie shrieked. "You can't be satisfied with just me; you have to lust after the human too!" Emmett opened his mouth to speak, but Rose just smacked him.

"Don't even bother," She shot back. Jasper and I exchanged a brief glance.

"Rose—"

"Not another word or I take a sledgehammer to your precious Jeep." Her eyes were daggers that pierced Emmett's frozen heart. In an instant, she had stood up and tromped up the stairs and out of sight.

"It worked," I whispered.

"Of course it did." Jasper replied, kissing my cheek. Phase one, complete.

Edward, I thought, I know you can hear me. Let go of Bella and listen to me. Yes, that's right; I'm talking to you, Edward Cullen. Do not respond to this message. Tell Bella I said we are commencing phase two. Repeat, commencing phase two. Muahahahaha! I added. Upstairs I could hear Edward's confusion and protest.

Just do it Edward. Time is of the essence. He sighed. I smiled evilly and took a step towards Jasper.

"Jazz," I said in the most seductive voice I could use around Emmett. "What were you saying earlier about all the lust in the room?" I walked my fingers up his chest and leaned into him, emphasizing the word lust. Emmett seemed to pick up on the mood and groaned.

"Could you two not be all mushy in front of me? I don't think I'll be getting any for a while," Emmett whined. Jasper smiled and pretended he hadn't heard him.

"Mhmm…all the passion in the room just got me thinking…" Jazz kissed me softly. "…about you." We kissed again.

"Mmm…" I leaned into his lips. Emmett began to breathe harder. It's working! I thought for a moment until I was wrapped up in the sweetness of my lover's lips.

__

EPOV

Alice's instructions confused me. I had no idea what she was referring to. Phase two? What did that mean? Were she and Bella plotting something? I loosened my grip on Bella, debating whether I should tell her.

Just do it Edward. Time is of the essence. Alice snapped in her mind. I sighed. What have they gotten themselves into?

"Alice would like me to inform you that you are commencing phase two," I said, trying to hide the confusion in my voice. She blushed a little. Such a beautiful blush.

"Oh, well…." She began. "Alice and Jasper and I are kind of getting back at Emmett for what he did earlier," Bella admitted. I chuckled, tucking her hair behind her ear.

"And how do you plan to do that?" I whispered.

"Well…" She said again. She sighed, and explained their plan. I couldn't keep a grin from spreading across my face.

"So…that's what I have to do?" I raised an eyebrow. She blushed again and nodded.

"Do you think you can?" Bella whispered. I laughed, pulling her body close to mine.

"Bella," I whispered, kissing her forehead. "How could I not?" I laughed lightly as I planted a kiss on her lips. She leaned into my lips and pressed her whole body against mine. I fought to keep control, with her warm skin so close to mine. Her hands snaked around my neck and clutched my hair, gripping me tightly. I was careful as I moved my hands down her body, still feeling the undergarment through her thin shirt. The image of how she had looked in it, strong and confident but still timid, was burned in my mind. It set me on fire, seeing her that way, completely ready for me to take her. I couldn't help myself, and I lifted her shirt a little until I could clearly see most of the black top underneath. I felt her blush a little, but it didn't stop her from kissing me. She soon followed suit and lifted mine. I pulled her closer so I could really feel her skin on mine. I was frustrated, but not with her. I was completely aware we would have to stop soon, not of my accord, though I was still afraid of letting it go too far. No, it had always been our plan to stop. We both knew that.

It was the plan, after all.

___

APOV

I tried to focus on Jasper as much as I could with the vision that played out before my eyes. Edward was fulfilling his part of the plan. It hadn't occurred to me, however, the one major roadblock of it. This was torturing him. He wanted more than nothing to let go of all his boundaries and just release. But he couldn't, not with Bella's life to worry about. I sighed, making it look like I was sighing from Jasper's kiss. Glancing over at Emmett, I could see the effects of the plan taking their toll. He appeared to be on the verge of hyperventilation, looking as if he were suffocating (not that it would kill him, but still, it was hard for him to bear.) He clutched his chest in agony and breathed deeply, wishing to himself that it would calm him down. Jasper was doing everything he could to hide his smirk, but I could still feel it. The amount of lust in the house was seeping through Emmett's thick skin, and he appeared to be succumbing to it.

"Rose…" He called through the house.

"Don't bother," She replied again coldly. I smirked, making no attempt to hide it. Just a little bit more…I pressed myself against Jasper, pretending as though I had forgotten Emmett was there. Jasper responded by wrapping his arms around me, closing every inch of distance between us.

"Uh…c-can, uh…you two just uh….can…y-you two….please….just…n-not…um I'm kind of trying to…DAMN IT!" Emmett cried, finally losing control as he dashed from the house in a movement so quick I barely caught it. I cackled mischievously. Jasper chuckled to himself.

"I'd say we did pretty good," He said smugly.

"Yes, you were very convincing," I replied sweetly, giggling.

"Who said I was acting?" He replied, kissing me again. I pulled away from him reluctantly.

"Okay you two, you can st—" I started to say, but Jasper covered my mouth, raising an eyebrow at me. I paused, and then understood.

"Let's leave the two lovebirds alone…" I said wickedly.

"Agreed," Jasper smiled as we fled the house. And that is what they call killing two bird with one stone…

Well, there you have it. The couples have revenge and Edward and Bella are out of control. Where will this lead? Hopefully, you'll know soon. Until then, REVIEW!