Author's note: I am so sorry this took so long. Since having my son I have had little time for writing. I wanted this done for Valentine's day, as a present to all of you who have supported this story. I was in a hurry, so please forgive the errors there might be. The next chapter will be the last. I hope you enjoy this one. Happy Valentines day.
Solas knew that being with her at the ball over a month before had been a mistake. Yet he could not make his heart fully regret it. He could only remember it with fondness and every bone in his body ached to feel her close again. In his lifetime he had been infatuated before, but with Milu it had always been different. From the first he had seen her as someone he needed to protect and guide. She was bearing his mark and he felt responsible for her. When he learned with what interest and ease she took to his guidance - despite her Dalish heritage - he saw not a stubborn pupil, too proud to acknowledge, when she was wrong, but rather an intelligent young student eager to see not one or two perspectives on a matter, but several. And in this progress he had come to see that she was not the stubborn one, blinded by assumptions, but that he had indeed been the flawed one. She had told him that he had been the reason that she could defeat Corypheus, but she had been wrong. He was the one, who would have been the lesser for not knowing her. And though it did not make his path less clear, it did make it infinitely more difficult to follow. In her eyes he saw what Felassan had tried to explain to him, and it filled his heart with terror, mourning and regret. In his time with her he had been no one but Solas. The admiration and the dread that his title as Fen'harel inspired had been lost in those months. For the first time in millennia someone had seen only Solas. He was judged as a regular elf - for better and for worse. And in her eyes he had been an equal. Still, he had found admiration in her tone of voice, fascination in her shy looks and an appreciation in every action, that was granted to him for just being him. He had meant it, when he told her that he would not have her see what he would become. To destroy that expression of admiration - to be able to see it evaporate as he turned into a monster ( even as he claimed not to be one ) - was more than he could bear. He wanted to be able to take solace in the look of her eyes, the curve of her smile and the sound of fascination in her voice in his darkest moments - even if they would be nothing but a memory. But even with this knowledge, he could not make himself regret the intimacy that had happened between them. And yet, he kept his distance as did she. As his plans were slowly coming together another few weeks passed, when Milu had approached him in the fade and asked him to meet with her. But even as they kept their distance his love for her had never been more profound. So it was with part joy, but a large amount of bitter dread that his thoughts lingered on her. His path had not changed, but in the most hidden part of his soul lingered hope, that she would find another way. That her mind would see a path, that his had overlooked. Because everything was in place. Destroying the veil would take nothing more than the flick of his wrist, but something in him hesitated. A voice gently whispering caution in his ear, and lately it had felt as if a pair of vengeful eyes were always lingering on him.
"It beats a steady song, that is resolute, but ever changing. Not carved in stone, but rather like water. Always finds a way to the end. Not by force, but by harmoni," Cole's familiar voice echoed through the fade.
"Is that your way of telling me that she is less stubborn, Cole?" Solas smirked, as he turned to face Cole. The spirit was sitting on a large log in the fades interpretation of the forest surrounding the ruins Solas now inhabited. Cole's head was looking at wisps dancing playfully on the stream close by as his heels were tapping the log, almost as if meant as a tune. The childlike innocence had never left the spirit, even as his affection for those in the other world never left. Through the veil the spirit was always watching, guiding and protecting in his own way.
"She focuses on the goal and not the means. So many paths. The journey different, but the destination is the same," the spirit clarified.
"Quite right," Solas smiled a little wistfully and sat down in his usual regal way next to his spirit friend. As they sat there in silence they looked not unlike a father and a son. A breathy chuckle escaped Solas and Cole at the same time as Solas was reminded of something Milu had once said - that Cole had two farther's in Solas and Varric.
"I miss Varric," the spirit admitted, "I wish dwarves could dream,"
"Perhaps, you will get the opportunity to see him again some day," Solas tried to offer, but Cole merely shook his head in sorrow.
"When the curtain is drawn and the sky returns to the earth, Varric will be lost in the chaos,"
Solas knew that Cole was right. Varric would be one of the first to defend the world and how it was. Trying to restore order and denying change, he would most likely be one of the first to fall in the chaos. And in the depths of Solas heart and soul, he felt a shudder that would haunt him with equal measure through the eternity of his unending lifetime.
"She wants to see you," Cole broke the silence, "Three days from now,"
"So I am to be summoned like a servant?" Solas raised an eyebrow, but still a smile formed on his lips. Cole choose to ignore the comment.
"The sketch will show you were," and then his spirit friend vanished.
When Solas finally awoke he had spend hours of the fade looking for a piece of parchment, a carving, cave painting or a map that could tell him his destination. He was not too prideful to come to Lavellan when asked, far too curious let the opportunity pass him by and to eager to hold her again to deny himself. So against his better judgement, it was with frustration he had awoken and found nothing. He started scattering through maps, parchments and books in his possession, only to find the solution was quite obvious, when there was a knock on the door. In came one of his agents with the newest intel from Solas many other agents. Solas nearly laughed out loud as he turned to face the agent.
"Sketch, I believe you have some information for me," Solas stated snidely with his hands folded behind his back in a confident pose.
"Well, yes. I have the reports from…" the elven mage began.
"Thank you, that is, however, not the point of my inquiry," Solas stepped closer to Sketch, who seemed suddenly hesitant and uncomfortable.
"I don't know what you are you are talking about," Sketch replied calmly, but the finger suddenly caressing his collar did not escape Solas notice.
"I know, you can tell me where she is," Solas smirked almost viciously as he took another step closer. Close enough to hear Sketch's uneven breaths, the calm mask on the mage's face shattered.
"I…" he began, but Solas cut him off.
"Very well, let me tell you what I know. As a young mage you escaped the circle and in order to stay free and make a living you became a mercenary for an orlesian woman named Marjolaine," Sketch's complexion turned white as Solas continued,"Here you met Leliana, the current Divine Victoria. As old friends she trusted you, so when she and Lavallen needed allies to infiltrate my ranks, they contacted you," Solas' self satisfied smirk was undeniable and the dread that showed on Sketch's face resembled a man awaiting execution.
"How long?" the elven mage stuttered in his surprise of having been discovered.
"Almost since you arrived. And you can calm yourself. As it turned out, having you in my ranks has been quite beneficial after all. You have nothing to fear from me. Provided that you take me to Milu Lavellan," Solas replied and turned away with a casual charm, " And have no worries. She knows to expect me. You will not meet an untimely end by an arrow of hers,"
In a cave in Tevinter some remaining fanatic templars laid dead on the ground. The ground was muddied with their blood and dirt, as their skin was scorched beyond recognition and their armour melted into their flesh or scattered as puddles on the soaked dirt. A blinding blue light resonated through it all and made it almost impossible to see. A serious disadvantage as a terrifying creature was fuming with its anger - literally. Milu stood above on some crates, where she had the advantage of aim, as a crossbow had replaced her metal arm - a gift from Varric and Bianca. Between her and the blue monster stood a taller woman, with long blond hair kept in a braid and sapphire eyes that matched the blue light that embraced all of them. If not for the seriousness of the situation, it would have been a beautiful sight. The woman's silver armour, the longsword and hair pale skin was shimmering in the light, that made her look like a celestial being. Yet in her eyes burned the stubbornness of a warrior. The full figured woman was both muscle and curves, that with ease held the large weapon and wielded it with vigor and precision. She was the exact opposite of Milu in almost every way, as she stood between her and the shining creature like a wall. Like the veil, she stood between the creature of magic and the mortal with no connection to the beyond.
"I will not let you do this!" The woman roared at the being.
"You would deny me my purpose?!" The entity growled charging towards her. Yet, right in front of her it stopped - their faces nearly touched as its hand was raised, ready to attack if needed. They seemed like an unstoppable force and an immovable object, and should they collide, Milu was certain that the world would be torn apart. The warrior closed her eyes and took a deep breath, as if to calm herself and threw her weapon to the side. The monster didn't move as she removed her gloves and threw those on the ground as well. Her white hands seemed to glow as the light from the being reflected on her skin. She placed her palms on its face as she spoke softly, but determinedly.
"I am reminding you of it! I am not losing you today and I refuse not having you by my side tomorrow." the statement was absolute and not to be argued. The creature must have arrived at the same conclusion, as the blue light retreated and the beauty around them was replace by the gore it had been responsible for. The creature turned into a man with reddish blonde hair, light skin and brown eyes. As he looked around him, his eyes watered and his body became heavy with regret - as if the monster, that took him over, was riding on his shoulders in invisible form. The warrior put her arms around him and pulled him into her embrace - almost with a fierceful movement.
"I am so sorry, love," the man said with great sorrow as she held him and she pushed him away only far enough so that she could look into his eyes.
"Don't apologize for this. They brought it on themselves by following us. They keep coming, it's like they want to die," her smirk was almost predatory as she spoke, but it made the man give a rueful smile.
As Milu watched these souls she couldn't help but being reminded of herself and Solas. These two were far more volatile in their nature, but Milu knew that neither of them had more blood on their hands than her and Solas. The man, a mage named Anders, had less innocent blood on his hands than Milu's love, should he succeed in his plans. The woman named Malina Hawke, who had a brutal way of dealing with most, had not affected as many lives as Milu Lavellan - for better and for worse. The elves might seem more serene, collected and honorable, but in their wake they had, and would, cause more misery , than the two humans many had come to view as villains. An icy feeling spread through Milu's veins, as she tried to think of how the future would remember her and Solas. He had been misunderstood for centuries, but if that image of the Dread Wolf's power and destruction still lingered, perhaps in the future it would be the right notion. The false memories of the Dalish might have become a prophecy of Fen'Harel's future. Anders stepped forward - cautiously - and looked at Milu with an ashamed look that never left his eyes.
"I… Forgive me. If you want to seek help elsewhere, I understand. I know most would rather not associate with an… abomination," Anders apologized.
"I have a friend who taught me of spirits and I have another, who is a spirit considered a demon. Your friend is tormented, like my friend was for a long time. His name is Cole, and I know he has done terrible things, but he has also done a lot of good. Your friend is simply confused. If you are still willing to help me, then we might be able to help your friend as well," Milu comforted with a gentle smile and Anders gave a grateful look in return.
"Anders, go to the stream and clean up. Otherwise you will just leave a bloodtrail all the way through Tevinter," Hawke stated in a stern voice, but what most people would hear as an commandeering statement was something completely different to both Milu and Anders. They heard the caring and worry behind it. The unspoken concerns and feelings, that the ruthless warrior would not let to the surface. Many might have thought Hawke cruel, unpleasant and grouchy, but Milu had come to find her loyal, protective and even loving in her own way. She had always wondered how Varric could be so loyal and friendly to someone, who was so unlike him, until she saw the devotion and fierce protectiveness in Hawke's nature. And deep in the warriors feral soul there was a power of forgiveness that Milu could only compare to Cole's. Hawke picked up the belongings that had been scattered around during the fight and passe Milu with confident and determined steppes.
"This scheme of yours better be worth it. There is not much of him left, and I will be damned if I allow anyone to take that away from me," Hawke practically sneered as she left the cave.
Milu merely nodded and followed Hawke as a voice of memory whispered in the back of her mind:
"Anders is going to die, just like your family, and everyone you ever cared about."
Those words were accompanied by words in writing:
Solas' greatest fear: Dying alone
During their journey Sketch had been very uncomfortable. All this time he had been convinced that the Dread Wolf had no idea of his espionage. He had joined Solas' forces at the request of Leliana and had worked with Lavellan ever since. It has been his objective to find any information about Solas' activities, and though Solas had been secretive and illusive, he seemed to have been no more forthcoming with his other agents. Nothing had given Sketch any cause to think that he had been made. When Lavellan had been rescued by the ancient God, Sketch had given her access to Vir Dirthara. His certainty, that he had not been discovered, turned into fear. Would the Dread Wolf be forgiving? Sketch did not believe so, yet Solas did not seem concerned with this in the least. Which led to another thought. Had Sketch unknowingly been giving Solas information about Lavellan - and if so what would Leliana do to him, when it was discovered? So as they approached the hill, where they were to meet Lavellan, Sketch was still hesitant and worried. Much to his relief, Solas seemed scarcely aware of his presence as he saw Lavellan in the distance.
In many ways Solas and Milu were alike, but their difference in nature and age did sometimes surface in the most common of ways. While Solas approached Lavellan with a regal and patient walk, she ran to him with the joy of a child. Still, when she reached his embrace, Solas could not resist the temptation of spinning her and immediately catch her lips in a kiss, as he sat her back down. His heart grew with fondness as she drew away from him and looked into his eyes with childlike enthusiasme.
"Come," she almost whispered, while taking his hand.
He felt a slight tremble in her hand and felt the tension in her body. Knowing her, as he did, he suspected it was part from eagerness, but also slight worry. Whatever she had been doing she would reveal to him soon, and an icy dagger seemed to touch his heart - for revealing his plans to her had caused nothing but misery. A short walk later they arrived to a cave entrance surrounded by ancient Tevinter ruins built on top of lost elvhen ones. Solas recognized the architecture that had almost vanished in the elaborate Tevinter carvings, statues and runes. The further they got into the tunnel, the more Solas that hidden doors and passageways, that led to the dwarf kingdoms of old, had been sealed. No doubt by the Wardens, trying to prevent the Darkspawn from coming up through them. Milu, however, seemed to not have paid them any attention - out of either disinterest or simply not discovering them, he was unsure. In any case, for Solas this was a relief. More was hidden in the Deep Roads than mere Darkspawn. He looked at one of the sealed corridors and felt it pulling at him - almost as if something was looking back at him. A memory haunting him, perhaps. When Solas sealed away the Evanuris, he had first sundered their souls. A fragment of their power had been sealed inside dragons. Without them the elvhen Gods could not transform. Alas these had become old Gods of Tevinter, and most of them had been slain during the blights. The hubris of men and elves alike, not knowing what they were destroying. The other fragments of the Gods had been sealed away behind eluvians. Each their own prison, from where there was no return. They were hidden and guarded beneath the stone - the last place any fanatic followers or slaves of Arlathan would look for their Gods.
"Solas?" the soft voice echoed.
He looked at Milu and realised that his mind must have wondered as he stood completely still.
"Is everything alright?" her voice like silk as the palm of her hand stroked his cheek.
"It is nothing. But let us continue. I am eager to see, what made you bring me here." He smiled fondly and without delay she continued ahead, but for several feet Solas could not shake the feeling of being watched.
Solas was surprised, when they reached a large room at the end of the cave. The missing mages and scholars from across Thedas seemed to be working within that massive hall. Studying elven text, elven magic and creating enchanted runes by the dozen. At the end was a curtain that drew his attention very quickly. As they approached a female elf and a human man rose from a table next to the curtain. The man looked very sickly, pale and skinny. The elven woman lively, but somehow uncertain as well. A human woman, who Solas recognized as Hawke, was standing at the table as well, nodding in recognition as they approached.
"Solas, I would like you to meet Merrill and Anders. Without them our endeavour wouldn't have been possible," Milu introduced with her usual friendly way.
Solas greeted them in his usual gracious manner. He could sense something unique coming from the man named Anders, and wondered if the spirit inside him was truly corrupted. He pondered if he had ever met the spirit in his ages of slumber. Would he even recognize it? His thoughts were quickly drawn in another direction. Merrill was the only Dalish elf there.
"Where is the rest of your clan?" Solas asked.
"Oh we are not of the same clan. I don't have a clan anymore, but I guess neither does Lavellan," Merrill spoke quickly and then stopped as she saw the surprised look on Solas' face and Milu turning hers away - as if she meant to hide the pain she was probably feeling.
"I am so sorry!" Merrill apologized "I didn't know it was a secret…. Ir abelas, lethalin. I…" the flustered elf continued, obviously mortified.
"It's alright, Merrill. You didn't do anything wrong," Milu comforted taking Merrill's hand and guided her to the curtain on the wall, eager to change the subject, Solas presumed. "Show Solas your remarkable achievement. He will be very impressed,"
Milu's eyes sparkled with excitement as Merrill seemed to turn almost pale. Yet, when Solas approached with his kind demeanour and patient nature, the elf seemed to calm. Milu pulled the curtain and before Solas was one Eluvian - but one unlike any he had seen before. With a wolf howling at the top of the frame, Solas recognized his own nature, though it was doubtful that the one who carved it knew the truth of the Dread Wolf.
"The restoration of this mirror is remarkable. You have shown true skill and craftsmanship," Solas praised smiling at Merrill.
"Oh it was nothing… Anders helped a lot…" Merrill began, but Anders interrupted.
"Against my better judgement," the man grouched a little.
"It is part of my culture and Lavellan said that…" Merrill tried to defend.
"Enough! Surely he has not come this far to listen to your childish bickering!" Hawke interrupted heatedly, which instantly sobered her companions.
Solas put a hand on the mirror.
"You have made it work… Not a task easily achieved. Where did you get the components?" he asked.
"The Qun," Milu smirked as she walked up next to him.
"Naturally," he chuckled "There is more to this, however. Care to tell me why you have gone through so much effort to restore this?"
"You just say the password and it opens," Merrill explained, clearly unaware that Solas was fully aware and knowledgeable about what it did and how it worked. He merely nodded gratefully as a reply.
"Fen'Harel ma ghilana," Milu said in a low voice and Solas smiled softly at her, rather than being amazed by the Eluvian working. As she took his hand and guided him through the mirror, Solas realised that he had never been more uncertain or hesitant. Rejecting what she had created would mean him losing her admiration for good.
When they exited the mirror they were surrounded by old elven ruins, that were covered in lush wilderness. The scent of tropical flowers lingered in the air and the area was buzzing with insects and birds chirping, it was vibrant and beautiful. Even so, Solas felt disheartened, as he believed that there would be nothing in these ruins that would help Milu convince him that another way was possible. Destruction must come before you can rebuild. He turned to look at the mirror and gave a mournful smile as seeing his love depicted on this one. She had clearly believed that this would change everything. He then felt Milu's hand in his.
"Don't be so discouraged yet. Try and feel what is around you," Milu smiled.
That was when Solas noticed something different. Every colour seemed more vibrant, there was a humming in the air, that seemed to be echoing past and present at once. In the blue sky you could still see the shimmering stars - even if they were not as clear as they were at night. The birds songs resonated within small beings of light that made sounds of crystal. The white stone of the ruins seemed to shimmer like gold. Everything seemed to be drawing him in and every cell in his body was responding to the magic that seemed to be floating like dust in the air.
"It's not possible…" Solas whispered in awe.
"Oh, but it sumeil!" Milu giggled with excitement and guided him through the ruins.
When they exited the ruins Solas looked at the sky and the ground. They seemed to be on an island, floating as if they were in the fade or the crossroads. Only Solas knew that they were not. Below he could see the jungle beneath them and a giant crater where the piece of earth they were standing on used to be. On the island seemed to be a giant dome. A magical barrier with magic that could only have been created by powerful magic. All around the egde were runes maintaining the magic.
"My, how dismal you look. Tis is what you wished for, is it not?" Morrigan's voice sounded as she stood beside Solas, looking at him with a subtle smile.
"It is truly remarkable - all due to my efforts of course," Dorian chuckled from behind them.
"The mage is speechless, go figure," The Iron Bull laughed standing next to Dorian.
"Not possible… burden, sacrifice like a thousand mountains binding and confounding. Fire and ice to different to exist at once… It is real, Solas. We did this for you," Cole's voice hummed, "I am me here. Not one, nor another - just me. Not wrong, twisted or locked away. Not a monster. You don't have to be either,"
Cole was standing on the other side of Solas, who was truly lost for words. So many questions had not roamed in his head for centuries. There had only been one question filling his head for millennia - the question "Was I wrong?". Out of the ruins came Hawke, Anders and Merrill. Anders was controlled by the spirit, but it seemed somehow more mellow than Solas had expected. What drew him back to reality, was the unusual sight of a dwarf playing with Morrigan's son. Performing some kind of ritual between runes and magic, that made the wisps dance with joy. He turned around and looked at Milu with awe.
"Ma ghilani vhenan," he uttered with a shaky voice and she held out her hand guiding him around the edge of the floating island - making it a private moment just for them.
"You created a rift in the veil, but contained it here so that a part of your world and the fade were no longer separate. How?" he asked.
Milu looked at him and was almost hurt by the fact that he did not seem pleased. He was confused and resistant, yet seemed to understand everything.
"After disbanding the inquisition, I thought about what you said. You said that there was still hope for restoration. I felt myself wanting the future you wanted to create. To share all those marvels with you. The Dalish… We deserve to see our culture restored. To regain what we lost. But to see everything else die… Despite being a true elvhan, I felt that part of me belonged to the world as it was. That it had been nurtured within me. I wanted both, but like you I believed that I could not have it. I tried to take measures to stop you, but I also began looking for the only one, who might know as much as you… Mythal," Milu began explaining and a knot formed in Solas' stomach as his friend's name was mentioned. He remained silent, however, and just listened.
"I couldn't, but then Morrigan sought me out. She said that the voices from the well of sorrows guided her to me. Dorian and I researched how to make the island float. Merrill restored the Eluvian, while Anders and Cole studied how to make the spirits uncorrupted, when encountered with the merger. Morrigan said the well knew how the veil was created and experimented with creating pockets within it. I had Sandal create runes that could maintain the spells. We used the resources of the venatori, scholars and many others to make this happen. I was unsure how much he understood at first, but it worked," Milu looked at Solas, whose expression was still unreadable, so carefully she proceeded to talk.
"Don't you see? We can make hundreds of islands like this throughout Thedas. The elves can live in a world like they were meant to, while the humans, dwarfs and even the Qunari can live below. We need not sacrifice them this way. Using the eluvians we can travel between the islands and perhaps even trade with the rest of the world. We can create a kingdom that is everywhere and nowhere at once. Safe, secluded, but still part of this world. Achieving this much was almost impossible, but with your help this could be possible.." she hesitated as he looked into the air not acknowledging anything at all, but as if someone or something else was distracting him, "Ma halani vhenan," she pleaded, "Solas?"
"I am sorry Inquisitor," he replied absentmindedly, which had her chuckling nervously. He had not called her that in ages and her uncertainty was making her heart pound and shiver.
"I was destined to walk the Din'anshiral. To be here.. to see this... There is much to be done," he continued and turned around to walk away. After a few paces he stopped and turned to look at her. It seemed like an eternity before he moved and then Milu found herself scooped into his arms in a passionate kiss.
"Ma serannas emma lath. Vir sumeil," he smiled against her lips before dragging her towards the eluvian.
"Where are you going?" Dorian called out.
"We need more resources and magical artefacts," Solas explained.
"Sounds like an interesting diversion!" Dorian replied and followed uninvited with Iron Bull.
None of them saw that both Cole and Morrigan were looking into the horizon as if the tried to make out some illusive.
"You feel it too, spirit, no?" Morrigan stated not looking away from the horizon.
"Voices whispering and dreams tampered with. He does not know how yet, but he will,"
Three days later
Red and golden eyes made Solas feel a tremor pass through his soul.
"You carry my dragon's soul. Return it to me, Fen'Harel, or darker times will embrace your future…" the voice rasping and full of hatred.
On the ground lay Lavellan, eyes deprived of life, her clothes soaked in her blood - so red that it matched the colour of her hair - lungs no longer drawing breath.
"Bellanaris Din'an Heem Falondin!" He roared right before a wolf's howl of sorrow echoed through the valley at the temple of Fen'Harel.
Eleven translation:
Vir sumeil : Follow me
Ma ghilani vhenan : Guide me my heart
Ma serannas emma lath : Thank you my love
Bellanaris Din'an Heem Falondin! : I will make you dead Falondin
