The absence of Meredith does not go unnoticed by Addison, Cristina or Derek. And it is the concern of the last which really begins to irritate the first, so much so that she confronts him about prom night in the men's room sometime before midday. Not exactly her best ever relationship decision, but a horribly invigorating way to end an otherwise terrible morning. Long story short, Addison screams at Derek and Derek yells back and Alex Karev asks her what the fuck she's doing in the men's room, so she screams at him as well.
It all ends quite horribly. Derek stalks out. Karev gives her a dirty look. And she stands there staring at herself in the mirror until Richard comes in to use the urinals. An awkward explanation later and she's stomping through the wards to find someone to unload on. Her relationship issues are too big to tackle on her own.
Meredith really would be the shoulder of choice, if Addison wanted to have a good old cry. Derek really hates it that his wife and his mistress have become bosom buddies, but Addison can't help it. She has a lot in common with Meredith Grey.
Lucky for Addison, the last thing she feels like doing is crying over it. Because Meredith is taking the day off to help Izzie find a therapist, and a job. (Because Jose Cuervo, Ben and Jerry's and Meg Ryan movies can't solve everything.) Addison thinks finding another job might be a tad hasty, because Richard Webber still hasn't decided what to do about the situation. He can't cover it up for much longer, but he wants to talk to Doctor Stevens, who refuses to set foot in the hospital ever again.
Addison rolls her eyes, because she is so glad that is Meredith's problem today.
Right now, she wants to yell, and scream and throw things.
Since none of these things are accepted in the standards of hospital decorum, she decides she'll find Cristina Yang and bitch about her idiot husband and men in general.
Cristina Yang is, coincidentally, in the perfect mood for such a discussion, having just argued with Burke regarding staying-with-slash-meeting his parents. She doesn't want two strangers in the apartment while he's in the hospital. He doesn't want his folks to have to find somewhere to stay on such short notice. She clenches her hands into fists and stalks down the hallway.
They're both so caught up in their frustration that they don't notice each other until Addison has ploughed into Cristina and Cristina has whirled around to snap at the inconsiderate fool who bumped into her when she realises it's the person she was looking for in the first place.
"I hate men," Cristina begins, falling into step behind the attending and following her into the gallery, where her husband is operating on an aneurism. The gallery is empty, so Cristina figures it's either a boring surgery or there's a more interesting one someone else.
Addison sighs, and agrees with her, "I hate Derek."
"Derek is an idiot," Cristina shrugs, "I mean 'it's a beautiful day to save some lives'," she does a fairly accurate impression, with facial expressions which are slightly more pompous, "What the hell? It's a beautiful day to act like a jerk to two of my good friends, that's what it is. McDreamy? McShithead is more like it."
Addison puts her hand to her mouth to suppress her laughter, "You paint a fairly grim picture Yang. He's not all bad. I did marry him."
"Once upon a time, I'm sure he was charming and lovely and all the rest of it," Cristina reaches into her pocket and pops a piece of gum into her mouth, chewing vehemently, "But ever since you came to Seattle? He's lost his mind. Gum?"
"No thanks," Addison shakes her head, "I don't know. Sometimes I think that I still love him, despite his lack of a working mind. But other times, I just don't think I can be bothered dealing with the angst anymore. He's so whiney lately. He just complains about Meredith and I being friends, and says I neglect him for Meredith, and he's practically jealous of me because I spend more time with Meredith than he does," she rolls her eyes, "And then I ask him if he loves her and he just broods. I'm married to you, I love you, how could you doubt me? Yada yada yada yada. Jesus Christ Derek, do you ever shut up?"
"I'll tell you how you could doubt him," Cristina pokes a finger into Addison's shoulder, "He cheated on you. He. Cheated. On. You. When you were in the other room. AND he didn't tell you about it, you had to hear it from the dirty mistress, as it were."
Addison holds up a hand, "Hey, the score is even on that note. I cheated on him, with his best friend, and he only found out because he came home early. For once."
"You're making excuses for the man's shitty treatment," Cristina informs her bluntly, "Don't make excuses for the man."
"I'm not making excuses for the man," she protests, "Facts are facts. He was never there beforehand maybe, he didn't notice I was sleeping with Mark for," she waves a hand around absently, "Oh God, I don't know, months before he found out because he was always at the hospital. So what? Absence is the new excuse for adultery?"
"And what's his excuse? Meredith was dating the vet?"
"I should date the vet," Addison pouts.
"The lesbian man?" Cristina's eyebrows shoot up into her hair, "Don't do that. You'll never get laid."
They laugh and Addison twists her wedding bands around her fingers, "Maybe I should just divorce his sorry ass."
Cristina nods, "Oh yeah. Make him sign the papers. I'll become a lesbian, because God knows, I'm over Burke and his I-can't-deal-with-a-life-crisis shit. And you can buy a villa in Tuscany, it will be very Frances Mayes. Together we shall romp about a small Italian village, drinking lots of red wine and hitting on hot European men."
"I've always wanted a villa in Tuscany, or the South of France," Addison muses, "Maybe you're right, I should get divorced and move to Tuscany."
Cristina rolls her eyes, "I'm always right about these things."
"Right," Addison rises, "It's settled. I'll go get the papers, make him sign, and then we'll go to Europe."
"Good," Cristina responds.
"Good," Addison echoes.
"You can approach the Chief about getting the time off."
"You're the one who actually wants a job here," Addison huffs, "I mean, if it weren't for Derek, I wouldn't even be here in the first place. Stupid Seattle and the stupid rain."
"But the Chief loves you," Cristina points out, "In fact, scrap the Europe plan I have a better one. You know the 'Boy's Club'?"
Addison nods, "How could I not?"
"Well, Derek and Burke both think one of them is going to be made Chief of Surgery," Cristina rubs her hands together evilly, "But I think with careful planning and a little manipulation, there's no reason why it couldn't be you."
Addison laughs, "I think I'd prefer the Tuscan villa."
"Hey, first you get Chief of Surgery then you slowly take over the world," Cristina winks, "World domination begins here. Besides, revenge, for all of us girls. It tastes sweet."
"I like the way you think," Addison grins wickedly.
"Right," Cristina saunters into the corridor as Derek steps backward from the table, about to finish up, "I'm going to tell Burke it's my way or the highway."
"I'm going to get divorced," Addison announces.
"I love empowerment," Cristina responds.
"I'm still thinking about that villa."
