Hello, my ever-awesome readers!
You guys really are AWESOME! 59 reviews! I'd give you all an Abby-hug right now, but since I can't, will a new chapter do?
Apparently, having three wisdom teeth removed gives your inspiration a nice, swift Gibbs-slap, as I was able to finish the parody itself and type up the entire chapter all in one day. Wow, I'm on a roll!
Anyways, this chapter's another funny one that involves Tony reconsidering his career, some slight Tiva hints, a parody of the show itself, and a drowsy Palmer (I sort of made that last one a running joke throughout the chapter). All in all, it's pretty insane.
Hope you enjoy Chapter 7!
Disclaimer: I own nothing except for the parody of the song. I do not own any lines from the original song that are contained in the parody. NCIS and the song I parody do not belong to me. I do not own the movie/TV shows that are mentioned in this chapter either.
Original Song: "Money, Money, Money" from Mamma Mia!
Cases, Cases, Cases
"Hey, Boss?"
"Whaddaya want, DiNozzo?"
"I hate my job."
"Excuse me?" Gibbs roared, slamming his bourbon glass on the table so hard that the sound jolted a dozing Palmer out of his slumbering attempt.
Realizing that he should have chosen his words a little better, Tony jumped to defend his claim. "Hey, Boss, Boss, Boss, I didn't mean it like that."
"Then what exactly did you mean?" Gibbs, Ziva, McGee, Abby, Jenny, Ducky, and even the completely out-of-it Palmer asked in unison, their eyebrows furrowed as they stared down their coworker.
"What I meant…" Tony started, thinking over what exactly he wanted to say before leaning in and continuing, "What I meant was, well, don't you ever get tired of playing superhero and solving a murder every week?"
Gibbs glowered intensely at his senior field agent, yet remained silent. Ziva, McGee, and Abby, however, considered Tony's statement with slow, simultaneous nods.
"All we ever do is sit at our desks and wait for a Marine to be murdered or go missing or smuggle a baboon onto an aircraft carrier or something," the movie buff ranted, his voice beginning to rise. "And then, BAM!" (he slapped his palms together, waking poor Jimmy once more), "it's Team Gibbs off to save the day again, meaning my social life is pretty much nonexistent during that time period." Wild-eyed, he spun and grabbed an unsuspecting McGee by his jacket collar, crying, "Do you have any idea how many hot dates I've given up for this job?" as he shook the geek.
"Tony!" Abby and Ziva shouted in unison at his action, accompanied by Gibbs's furious boom of, "DINOZZO!", Jenny's appalled, "Agent DiNozzo!", and Ducky's murmured, "Oh dear, the poor boy's finally snapped" (all of which covered up McGee's squeak of, "Help…" and Palmer's slurred, "Whuzzgoin'on?")
Finally releasing his hold on McGee's collar, Tony's hand flew to his forehead and he gently began to rub circles over his temples. "It's just… it gets annoying after a while. At first, it's all, 'Wait for a case, do some desk work!' and then, 'We have a case, grab your gear!'" He let out a tense laugh as the next thought hit him. "Sometimes, I just feel like my life is being overrun by cases, cases, cases."
Overhearing this monologue a little ways away, the DJ sensed another spontaneous outburst of singing coming on and was prepared when instructions were thrown at him. Once everything was settled, Tony cried, "Hit it!" and began to pace onstage as frantic piano playing blasted out of the speakers. At last, he opened his mouth to sing:
I work all night, I work all day
And play the games I like to play
Removing the wad of paper from her hair that her partner had just tossed at her, Ziva marched onto the stage and snarled:
Makes me mad!
A sad look crossed Tony's face as he muttered:
And still there always seems to be
No time at all for a movie
The others glanced at each other in slight confusion before joining in:
That's too bad!
Throwing his arm around Ziva's shoulders, Tony used his free hand for emphasis as he looked off in a daydream and added:
And in my dreams, I have a plan
If I became a wealthy man
Ziva 'oh'-ed in understanding and grinned as she caught onto her friend's dream:
We would not have to work at all
Smiling himself, Tony nodded and continued:
We'd fool around and have a ball
The music changed, and soon the whole team found themselves chanting:
Cases, cases, cases
All those faces
Down in autopsy
Cases, cases, cases
Fixing his collar, McGee piped up:
On navy bases
A still groggy Palmer yawned:
And in autopsy
Tossing her arms out and spinning around as if she were in The Sound of Music, Jenny belted out:
Oh-whoa-oh-oh-oh
All the things I could do!
The group joined back together to finish the chorus:
If there weren't so many cases
Down in autopsy
Ziva took a seat next to her partner (who looked lost in thought) on a barstool and softly broke the news to him:
A life like that is hard to find
Slouching in his chair as his hands flew away from his head, Tony interrupted:
But I can't get it off my mind
The others winced:
And it's sad!
The womanizing agent narrowed his eyes as a certain book series and writer came to mind as he growled:
The only one who'd ever see
A life like that is our McGee
The man in question shrugged as if to say, "That's true," while the rest sang:
That's too bad!
The ninja grabbed Tony's hand, pulling him out of his seat as she proposed a new idea:
So let us leave, no more John Does
The remainder of the party completed her sentence with a collective shout of:
And we'll have our own TV show
Abby spun and strutted across the stage in her clunky boots as she said:
Our lives would never be the same
Pondering the glamour of this idea and visualizing his name in lights, Tony cried:
And everyone would know my name!
Now filled with glee, Team Gibbs repeated the chorus:
Cases, cases, cases
All those faces
Down in autopsy
Cases, cases, cases
On navy bases
And in autopsy
Oh-whoa-oh-oh-oh
All the things I could do!
If there weren't so many cases
Down in autopsy
Cheers of amazement burst out again as the music faded out, drowning out the conversation held by the members of NCIS.
"Seriously, a TV show?" Tony asked Ziva, his eyes shining like those of a fangirl meeting her idol. "Ooh, I can see it now – NCIS. You know, keep it simple. But, oh, it'd be so much more than simple. We could be the next Hawaii Five-0." His eyes widened even further. "I could be the next Rockford! No, Magnum!"
As Tony was still in his fantasyland, Gibbs grunted, "Keep dreaming, DiNozzo. It's not going to happen."
"Actually, Boss, I may know someone who could make it happen," McGee countered the ex-sniper. Pulling out a slip of paper, he inquired, "Have you ever heard of Donald P. Bellisario?"
Yes, I did just parody the show itself, and yes, I did just mention Donald P. Bellisario. It was too good to pass up.
Oh, and a bit of trivia: I parodied a mentioned case from the show with the line about a baboon smuggled onto an aircraft carrier. What was the situation given on the show?
Since I mentioned fangirls, here's something I was going to ask you guys last chapter: what do you think of Ivy and Carina (you know, the crazy Gemcity fangirls from "Crime-Solving Writer") making a return appearance? I'd like to have them show up again (maybe in the finale), but I wanted to know your opinion.
Well, that's all for this chapter! The next parody has the first verse and chorus completed, and given my current track record, it might be finished soon. So, a new chapter may be out shortly!
Reviews would be absolutely lovely! Favorite parts, anyone?
AQotL
