There are a number of words that could be used to describe how I felt in that moment.
Shock.
Disbelief.
Denial.
In that moment, I felt them all.
I watched the car drive out of the alleyway onto a quiet street.
Eli kicked the ground in frustration and mumbled something inaudible from our distance before walking further down the alleyway. Wordlessly Zach and I slowly crept out from behind the dumpster and followed.
He turned a corner and walked a few blocks until he blended in with the crowd of people surrounding him. We did the same, only slowing down our pace when necessary to avoid suspicion.
I could hear Zach speaking to me as we followed, but I couldn't focus on his words.
My mind kept replaying the scenario moments before of my aunt speeding out of the alleyway with an unknown man in the passenger seat.
Questions raced through my mind as I tried to make sense of what just happened.
Why was she in the same place as Eli? A rogue?
Who was in the car with her?
Why wasn't I briefed that she would be in Kabul as well?
More questions clouded my mind, but I was snapped out of my thoughts as Zach snapped at me and I realized I had been walking without really seeing.
Eli was no where to be seen.
"Cammie what are you doing? You almost got us caught!" Zach whispered in Farsi, and I saw a few people turn to look at us. I was certain they couldn't understand what he was saying, but that's never stopped a nosy person from trying.
His voice was low but carried a harshness that seemed to jolt me out of my thoughts as I turned to him.
"I… I just.. the woman in that car was Abigail." I said, still not believing the words coming out of my mouth.
Zach ran a hand through his hair and sighed.
"Are you sure?" he asked, and I nodded my head silently.
"When I leaned forward she was fixing her mirror and I recognized her immediately." I said, looking around for Eli again. "Why would she be in the same place as the rogue asset we're supposed to tail?" I asked myself again, but Zach heard me.
"Don't think that way Cammie." he said, reaching for my hands. "Don't allow yourself to start questioning whose side she's on. She's on ours."
"We don't know that Zach!" I yelled in a hushed tone as I snatched my hands away from him. Frustration and disbelief coursed through my veins, fueling my distrust in everything I'd ever known my aunt to be.
"Cammie-"
"Think about it Zach." I started, "She's never around any other time besides when we're close to tracking down the Circle's next move. When the Circle was tying up its loose ends and we had to fly to Rome to save Preston, she was already there."
"After that we never saw her. Now six months later she shows up in the VERY country and the same alleyway that a rogue asset is in? Forgive me if I have my doubts."
"He shot at her Cammie. He wouldn't do that if they were on the same side." Zach tried again, but I wasn't having it.
My suspicions were crazy. I knew that.
Abigail Cameron was a Gallagher Girl who fought fiercely for good. I knew that.
But actions speak louder than words. And right now, her actions said the opposite.
"Who was the other person in the car?" he asked, exasperated.
I shook my head. "I didn't see them. I only saw her."
Zach turned me to face him, and asked the one question I wasn't expecting.
"If it was Joe Solomon in that car with her, would you distrust him also?"
I stared at the man who had been with me through everything.
The man who proved he and Mr. Solomon weren't working for the Circle when everyone else doubted.
The man who had given me every reason to believe what he said as true.
The words came out as barely a whisper.
"I don't know what to believe anymore."
XxxxxxxxxxxxxxX
It was dark on the drive back to the safehouse, and Zach remained silent the whole ride as he drove on. I didn't bother speaking again.
He parked wordlessly in the garage and was silent as he entered the house with myself in tow.
I walked past the living room and out the door leading onto the porch, staring up at the full moon that shone over the acres of grass.
A cool breeze blew, and I shivered in the darkness of the night.
I didn't speak when I felt his arms go around me. And I didn't speak as I felt his head rest on mine, a sigh escaping his lips.
I did speak when I felt him kiss the top of my head.
"I'd trust her." I said, pausing to make sure I believed it. "If Mr. Solomon was the one with her, I'd trust her."
"She's not the bad guy Gallagher Girl."
I turned around in his arms and rested my head on his chest. I heard his heart beat as he wrapped his arms tighter and I closed my eyes and whispered against him.
"I know."
But I wished I felt it.
