Young Hearts, Jumbled Minds
Storm sat up in her bed when her alarm went off. She hadn't made even the slightest attempt to sleep, her thoughts were locked on Remy. His obvious anger with her, his avoidance of her for over 24 hours, his bitterness to her when she had knocked on his door, a distant second was her budding situation with Scott.
She sighed. She had run numerous scenarios through her mind, depicting how she could apologize to Remy. Over lunch, a chance encounter, through a third party... none of them ended well. As close as she and Remy were, she knew better than anyone what the Cajun was capable of when he was in an enraged state.
At least he hasn't started eating lollipops. She thought in the shower with minor relief. Gambit only ever ate suckers when he was on the verge of killing. Hopefully he would calm down before he got to that stage so she could have the chance to explain herself to him. She could only cross her fingers in hope that his rage hadn't gotten that far. She pushed shower curtain open, not bothering to cover up since Remy wouldn't be there. She looked around at her room. It seemed much larger and more quiet without him there, whining that he was bored or teasing her about whatever.
She sighed again. Maybe now I can write in my diary she thought, bitterly. She dressed quickly and carelessly, deciding to take her writing outside. As frightened as she was about running into Gambit, she didn't feel like being cooped up in her room with her misery anymore than she already had.
break
Storm had walked on eggshells until the moment she got outside. Besides her room, it was the only place in the entire mansion where she felt she could effectively avoid Remy.
"Storm?" Ororo turned, when she saw peeved looking Rogue walk up to her. She waited for her to continue, thinking it best not to answer. As distraught as she was about her current situation, Storm never wanted to unintentionally take her frustrations out on anyone else. But she could tell just by looking at the brunette that it wasn't the same way with Rogue. She stopped in front of her, nostrils flared and breathing heavy. 'Ro was confused, Marie looked as if she had a bone to pick with her. "Look, I heard all about what you've been doing around here." Storm froze at her words. 'What she had been doing.' What could she have possibly heard? And from whom? "I just want you to know, " She continued heatedly, "As much as I don't like you, and as much as I'm not surprised, I still think you're a real bitch for it. You know Jean and Scott are together, but you're gonna screw around with him anyway? Right in front of her face?"
Storm felt as if someone had dumped ice on her, hearing Rogue's accusations. Was that what she was doing? Is that what other people saw?But Scott came to me...he approached me... "Who told you that?" She stammered.
"Why does it matter? I'm talking about you. You and whatever this problem is you have with stealing men."
"What?" Storm choked. She could the heat rushing to her face and neck. It was getting difficult to breathe. Stealing men?
"That's right, Storm. It's funny, you know? I thought I was the only one who could see through you. But, nope, I was wrong. Jean, Jubilee and me know you're a plotting little attention whore. Everyone does... and how you think you've got everyone here under your spell. Guess what: you don't. No one thinks it's cute. It's getting ridiculous, Storm. Do you even know what you're doing when you play your little games and try to act all innocent and flirt and all this other bullshit you pull?" She paused, watching Storm swallow under her glare, "You're screwing up real relationships, Storm. Like Jean's and Scott's. Like mine and Remy's. For your little imaginary ones. Just cause you can't find anyone who wants or likes you, you have to snatch one up that's already taken. You did it with my man, and now you've done it with Jean's. Congratulations! Do you think you made your point?" Storm stood, wordlessly, "Just what I thought: nothing to say now that someone confronts you. We got words for wenches like you where I'm from." Rogue spat before stomping off, making sure to knock into the goddess' shoulder.
Storm held her arm, where Rogue had run into her, unable to move. Oh God. That's what they think of me. Jean, Scott, Rogue, Remy, Jubilee and who ever else knew anything about what had been happening the past few days. That's what they all think. Wordlessly, she sped further away from the mansion, plopping onto the ground and opening her diary. She ignored the growing lump in her throat as she read her previous entry.
So stupid. She thought, reading over her last Scott-themed pages. How can you be so stupid. She didn't even feel like the same person anymore. She wasn't. The girl who wrote those things, she realized, was a giddy, blind, ignorant teenager. A bimbo who couldn't see what she had. And because of that girl's actions, she lost her ability to reason... her common sense... her reputation... her self-respect ...the respect of her peers... her best friend.
Storm's eyes began to sting, but she blinked furiously, thinking herself undeserving of tears. She began to write, in a heated attempt to keep her emotions under control.
Diary, why can I see so clearly now how I'd been using him-in every way possible? Why couldn't I see it then? Every time I've taken interest in someone I've used him. I used him psychologically everytime I asked how I looked in something-how they'd think I would look, every time I asked him how I should approach someone, what I should say to them, and emotionally everytime a guy hurt me and he'd stay up with me while I cried over him-when he comforted me and reassured me. And now I've used him physically because I wanted something more than what I had.
She stopped writing, looking up at the darkening sky and tucked her hair behind her ears. She should've known that he was enough. That he'd always been. She inhaled shakily and began to write again.
Now he hates me. I can't even blame him. I've probably drained his soul by now. How could he take anymore from me? What kind of friend am I...I put a wedge between him and the girl that he loved. He told me himself that he loved her. But somehow, I don't know how, but somehow I separated them. I know I did. I must have. Apparently that's all I'm good for, because I'm doing the same thing with Scott. And Jean...how on earth can I explain myself to her? I can't even imagine how she must feel after what I did. And Rogue!
Tears began to stain the pages while she wrote, but Storm ignored them.
God, how can I fix everything that I've messed up?
"Hey, look who's out!" Ororo jumped, looking up to see a sprightly Scott walking towards her. He stopped, however, seeing her teary eyes and miserable expression. "Are you crying?" The change from playful excitement to tender concern was too much for her to handle right now. "Storm!" She made for the doors, but his long strides caught her before she could reach them. He stopped her just before she could reach the inside. Thunder rolled when he placed his hands on either side of her face, lifting her face up gently to look in her eyes. "Storm, what's wrong?" She closed her eyes, shaking her head as the sky began to open up above them. It wouldn't matter if she told him everything. What could he do? What could either of them do? "Ororo," He asked more concerned, making the tears multiply, "Babydoll, tell me what happened. Tell me what happened, it's okay." She brushed past him and hurried inside, ignoring his voice behind her. "Storm, wait! Storm!" He called out to her, still standing in the heavying downpour.
Ororo was fighting the sobs racking her body as she sped through the institute. She was forced to stop when she was only halfway up the stairs, having to hold onto the rail to breathe. She took several deep breaths before sinking onto the steps, finally succumbing to her emotions, and buried her face into her knees while she released her tears.
"Chere..."
Storm's heart stopped when she heard the voice coming from in front of her. She looked up slowly, afraid to look the surprisingly worried Remy. Her mind screamed for her to leave. She wanted nothing more than to run away and not have to face him... but seeing his concern for her made her forget her fear of his anger, and her heart made her too heavy to move. She silently watched him, her heart racing wildly, expecting him to snort and step over her. She held her breath, seeing him ascend the stairs and kneel before her. She recoiled when he reached out to her and sobbed quietly when he pulled her into his chest, adjusting them both until she was comfortable.
"Qu'est-ce qu'il y a?" He asked soothingly, rubbing her back in small circles. "Remy here, chere, it's alright now." She felt her heart glow at his words and shut her eyes, clinging to him for her life. He held her for several minutes, trying his best to comfort her. He looked down at tthe crown of her head, feeling his heart break as she shook with her small sobs while the storm grew steadily outside.
Finally, when it seemed that she'd calmed, he turned her chin, making her face him. "What's wrong, Stormy?" She released her grip on him and looked in his eyes. They held so much sympathy-hurt...for her. But there was something behind them, something he didn't want her to see. She could tell too clearly. "Remy'll fix it, chere. He promise." He said when she didn't answer, "Tell me what's wrong."
Storm clutched his shirt, shutting her eyes tightly when his words registered. She was doing it again. She was using his hurt to ease hers, using his concern to release her despair. And he was letting her. He would keep doing it, she realized, until he resented her forever. Until he truly hated her. The thought terrified her and she choked back a gasp, pushing away from him.
Remy watched as Storm's expression changed from sadness to horror and loosened his hold on her before she shoved him back. She stood and didn't dare look at him again before climbing the rest of the stairs and rushing to her room. He watched her disappear, helpless to do anything. God damn you to hell, Remy Lebeau, you done it again. You done lost yo' Stormy. He thought hopelessly before retreating back down the staircase. He'd, once again, pressed his boundaries past their limit. She'd never want to be close to him again after that moment, and it was, once again, entirely his fault.
break
"Failure!" Jubilee yelled, spilling popcorn all over the floor.
"Death!" Rogue yelled almost simultaneously. They both groaned their disapproval when the man on the television gave his answer.
"Wow, who's afraid of unemployment? Are you kidding me?" Marie complained from the floor.
"I know! How'd he even get on the show!" Jubilee heatedly agreed. She looked over at Gambit, who'd been sitting quietly in the corner. "Come on, Remy, you don't want to play?" She asked, watching him open his third tootsie pop for the evening.
"Non, petite," He answered, "Remy don' like de feud." He lied. It was his favorite game show. He would be watching it with Storm that very moment if she wasn't repulsed at the very sight of him.
"I'll play, what's the question?" They all turned to see a grinning Bobby in the doorway.
"Something a man fears, but would never admit." Jubilee answered him.
"Oh... I bet it's inferiority." He laughed.
"It's women." A lower, gruffer voice answered from behind Bobby.
"Logan!" The squeals from Jubilee and Rogue were unanimous. Logan laughed when they knocked him off balance hugging and incoherently greeting him.
"How long are you here for, man?" Bobby asked. Logan grunted, not caring to hide his indifference of the Iceman.
"Until somethin' else better comes up. Where is everybody?" He asked, seeing that Gambit was the only other one present.
"The storm must've put them to sleep or something." Jubilee shrugged as she and Rogue retook their seats.
"Huh." Logan responded quietly. Seeing everyone's attention gradually revert back to the television, he slipped out of the t.v. room to put his things away. There was someone he needed to see.
TBC
Uplifted- You're absolutely right about Gambit's powers, but for the sake of this measely little fic I stripped him of one of his gifts. (don't kill me!) haha. And yes, I purposely put the word 'break' in a couple of my fics. I usually put in a pretty little design for time lapse, but I ran out of ideas for those lol. I would use the break lines from the website, but I haven't figured out how to do it from my phone (which is where I write and submit my fics from (which results in many typos and grammatical errors). I hope this clears everything up!
Thanks everyone for your reviews! You keep me writing with a smile! X) -like that.
P.S. I must admit this is one of the more boring chapters, but I promise the next update will be nice and juicified lol
