A/N: Please forgive this sorry soul for updating so late… I've had personal issues going on and school (I'm taking four Advanced Placement courses) and aaahhhh it's been too much . but hey, I'm here now and think I have now managed to deal with the stress that I've had recently Thank you for your patience and please review~ Love you all!
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It Would Be Easier If I Could Hate You
Chapter 7: Home
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Len's P.O.V
I couldn't process what was going on. Not only was my head spinning at a thousand loops per second, but the impact of the scene in front of me was too much. Rin had Ren's sword. Why did she have HIS sword?
I tried moving the muscles in my arms in a futile effort to raise myself. I needed to help Rin. There was no way she could defeat them all. I can't let her save me once again. Not after working so hard to prove myself! I can't!
Yet, my entire body felt foreign to me. My mind could not control my body. Damp cheek pressed to the cold floor, all I could do was stare as Rin faced her opponents with a determined glare.
For a moment I swear Ren was in the room.
Then, just like that, she attacked them. Mercilessly stabbing one in the shoulder while kicking another in the chest. Baring her teeth with such hate… It was strange to see a princess, even Rin, fight like that, yet there was a surprising sense of familiarity in it to. Somehow, in the sub consciousness of my mind, the thought comforted me.
My heart began to slow down. I could feel it. There was chaos all around me but within me it was all going in slow motion. I couldn't feel the resounding clash of swords, nor hear the rushing footsteps of the incoming guards. The edges of my vision began to blur into a combination of black and gray swirls. I remembered then what the intruder told Rin…
Was I really dying?
My chest began to heave with some difficulty and I couldn't help but scowl at my state. Here I am, being saved by the same girl seven years later. I didn't accomplish what I had set out to do. I hadn't killed the king… I hadn't avenged my family… I hadn't become stronger… I hadn't…
Flashes of my old home sprouted in my mind. My mother's face, Rei and Rui… If I were to die now, then I'd like for them to be my last memories.
But, it didn't stop there. More quickly, without me being able to control them, flashbacks of my time with Ren appeared in my mind. The way his hand felt warm and human in mine when we made our pact. I remembered his break down on the hill the other day, the pain he had burrowed in his chest similar to mine. His tears… then only one person stood out from the rest. Why, I don't know. My mind was filled with Rin's face. Her smile and warmth… My promise to protect it at whatever cost.
Right now, she was all that mattered to me. I won't die. No, I can't die. I owe her that much.
My vision completely began to blur and Rin ripped herself from the grip of the guard that held her back. She ran towards me and knelt at my side. My eyelids grew heavy and all I could make out were her lips. They quivered. She must've been crying. Rin may have been yelling too, but all that reached my ears was a faint whisper.
"Hold on Len! Please, hold on!"
That is when my world went black and I slipped into a state of comforting unconsciousness. Yet, I thought the very last words I heard from her were, "We're going to war, damn it, you can't die!"
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I slowly pried my eyes open, my eyelids feeling heavy and clumsy. My vision began to clear and soon I was aware of my surroundings. I was on white bed, with other white beds around me. The first thought that occurred to me was that I was dead. Everything in the room was too white. I was seriously considering the thought that I was truly gone until I felt something next to my arm. With slight numbness, I forced my head to turn to my left.
There, head resting on her folded arms, was Rin. Her eyelids twitched constantly, as if having very bad thoughts. Without even realizing it until I felt my muscles stretch, I smiled. Once I did realize though, I forced it to go away. I wasn't supposed to be smiling, damn it. I was supposed to be thinking horrible thoughts on how to kill a person. Recently, I've come to realize that as I spend more time with both Ren and Rin, I was beginning to lose my original purpose. It was only until now that I realized that I had to begun living more for them than for my father. The fire for vengeance was still there, I still felt it, but it didn't burn as bright. That couldn't happen. I would have to start getting back on track and setting boundaries between myself and the royal twins.
I once again turned to Rin. Could I really turn my back on her? I mean, she saved my life twice now. I owed her my loyalty at least, if it was even worth anything. Maybe I could still fight against Ren, maybe I would manage the courage to take him on and the entire Black Knights but to betray her…
I gritted my teeth and breathed out through my nose. I knew deep within me that I couldn't do that. She didn't have anything to do with the mess. No matter what happened, no matter who died… I would find a way to save her.
My arm got itchy so I slowly lifted one to scratch it. Rin's eyes flew open immediately and she reached for something under the bed.
It was the same sword from last night.
Once she realized no one was in the room besides us, hid it under the sheets again, quickly looked at me, then averted her gaze as if trying to figure something out.
I wanted to ask about it immediately but first I had to get my facts straight.
"What happened last night?"
"They poisoned your food. Someone in the kitchen is a traitor. As we speak they are all being interrogated. Knowing that the poison would have its effect around the time I would sleep, they decided to ambush my room. Their plan had been to kidnap me for ransom money as well as the power to make demands to my father. The war has now officially been declared by both countries, the papers signed and all. Red thought that the kidnapping would go well but…" She didn't finish, looking uneasy at the last part.
"But you put up an unexpected fight." I put in for her and then took the opportunity to ask, "Why do you have Ren's sword? Better yet, how do you know to fight?"
Rin's sea blue eyes landed on mine before closing them and taking a deep sigh as if knowing this would come eventually.
"It's not Ren's," She started, "He always knew the dangers of being a hated monarch so he taught me self-defense and how to wield several weapons. The sword is the same as his because he instructed me, that if anything were to happen to him, I would pose as him. Or if I were ever caught in a risky situation, using a replica of his sword, I could pretend to be him long enough to attack or escape."
"I see," I said and nodded, "It makes perfect sense. Ren, as always, thought of a strategy."
"No one told my father about this though. He was hiding like a coward throughout the ambush. Let the daughter be taken but not the crown. Let the kingdom burn but not the crown." Rin clenched her jaw a bit before relaxing, "Everyone regards me as weak. That is why… that is why Ren needs to return as soon as possible."
I frowned, "I never regarded you as weak, not then and not now so don't say that. You're probably stronger than more than half of Mikuo's regiment."
She smiled at the last part and I was inwardly content. My job was done for now.
A knocking at the door made us both turn our heads almost immediately. Rin's hand went under the bed once more before cautiously saying, "Who is it?"
"It's me, Luka your Highness. I was sent to inform you that your carriage is ready."
"Alright, thank you."
"Should I summon Mikuo to accompany you?"
Rin's eyes widened in alarm, "N-No… I'll get another escort. You may leave now."
Did she just stutter? She must've gotten worried for some reason. Does that mean she knows he loves her? Or does she actually return the… No, I doubt it… I really doubt it…
Small shuffling of steps was heard and the princess stood up to leave. Only then did I realize she no longer wore her training garments but instead wore a simple green dress. Somehow, it suited her perfectly.
"Is your Highn- I mean, are you going anywhere?"
"I am going to visit the families of the deceased that passed away during the courtyard ambush."
"I'll come with you." I asserted and flung the covers off.
"No! You're still recovering-"
"What better way to recover than stretching the muscles? Besides, if Ren were here he probably would've kicked me out of bed and made me run laps to recover."
"He isn't THAT strict." She defended while slightly pouting.
"I was kidding."
"I- wait… did you just try to make a joke?"
I shrugged and put my boots on. My sword was on the small nightstand next to me. I easily hung it from my belt and looked up to find Rin still staring blatantly at me.
"What?"
She blushed a bit before walking out the door, "Nothing."
Rin was officially back to normal.
Rin's P.O.V
Despite my protests, Len still tagged along on my trip to the village. I was silently glad he insisted on coming or I might've actually had to call Mikuo. That wouldn't be good at all, especially with our impending conversation…
Then again, I also felt pride within myself. I had trained a sturdy knight.
Of the citizens who died, most of them were from the village Yukigakure… The Village Hidden in the Snow. After about an hour, the carriage slowed to a stop.
I got off followed by two of the Black Knights and Len as well. Immediately, I was taken aback by what I saw. This same village… seven years ago…
A massacre had occurred.
Len looked around and looked almost as shocked as I was, if only for one second. Almost immediately he regained his composure and waited for me to lead the way.
The village was known for being hidden near the foot of a mountain so that it was almost always covered in snow. Usually it was a calming sight, seeing so much snow. Now our inch deep footprints threatened to open a scar in my heart. The village hadn't been too poor before the war, but even after seven years, the reparations were still incomplete. The only thing they had been known for was their clan of excellent swordsmen. Ironically, that was what led to their demise.
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I felt their eyes bore into every part of my being. I held my head high but inside I was trying not to quiver in shame. A member of the royal family comes to, not make amends for the event years ago, but instead apologize for the deaths of more of their people. Why hadn't I tried to reach out to these people before? I could've done something, anything, to try to compensate…
I knocked on the first house, breathing deeply as the door pried open to reveal a worn woman with frilly gray hair covering her tired eyes. Her eyes widened slightly as she recognized me and made way for me to pass.
Her eyes were kept to the floor the entire time, as if knowing what was to come.
"I'm truly sorry to inform you that…"
It would be useless to describe the rest. She stood there, processing the information, before breaking down in tears. Out of the corner of my eye I saw Len whisper something to one of the other Black Knights and then leave. It surprised me a bit, but I let him be as I tried my best to comfort the broken mother. After being Ren for so long, I had nearly forgotten how to console someone. I had nearly forgotten what to say, what to do. Luckily, there was a part of me that remembered…
…A part of me that still held on to the painful emotions of the heart.
Len's P.O.V
It was still unbelievable to think that I was walking down the same path that I used to take home through my entire childhood. The falling snow did not faze me at all, I had lived here for so long that it was a daily occurrence. My footprints seemed to cover other prints that were still fresh from the past, almost as if I had never left. It was easy to block out my time at the castle and think back to when I still lived here… It seemed like it was yesterday.
Almost unconsciously, my body led the way towards what used to be my home and part of me wished that my father didn't live there anymore. It had only been a couple months since I had moved out but things had changed. My life had changed. If I saw him now, he would surely remind me of my oath…
An oath I had been having second thoughts on.
Hesitantly, my cold knuckles rapped against the wooden door. I inwardly shivered as I heard slow footsteps approach and then the door was opened.
My father's eyes widened slightly, as if wondering what I was doing there, before his worn out and wrinkled cheeks raised in a small smile. Though I hadn't been gone for long, Father seemed to have aged years. He looked so burdened, alone… miserable.
He moved to let me come through and I silently entered the house, waves of nostalgia crashing against my body with every step.
"It's been a while." Father murmured and I nodded.
"Word travels faster than any steed," he continued, "And word has reached this village that you have slowly climbed up the ranks of the King's court."
"I have, Father. I was entitled to the position of second in command of the Black Knights, Prince Ren's personal squad, and was named the Royal Knight of Protection as well."
"I had no doubt you would achieve greatness, Len. You are now the sole person who could take revenge on our behalf. Your mother and siblings are proud, I'm sure. Believe me son when I tell you that if this old body were not feeble and broken I would readily take the task. Yet, this is not possible you see and therefore all my hopes, mine and all the village as well, are on you."
When he finished, I felt an emotion that I hadn't felt in a while… The sensation of a sinking heart. These people, my people, counted on me to do something and now…
Who was I to betray?
My father took my silence as an acceptance gesture and left for the back room. I sat there numbly, thinking it hadn't been a good idea to come.
A couple of moments later he came back into the room with something in his hands. It was thin and covered with an old dusty cloth. It almost seemed like a…
He uncovered it to reveal a black shield with a golden edges and a matching emblem on the front center: our clan's coat of arms.
"I think its about time you use this. Before you didn't have any use for it, but now… it will defend you in war."
"Thank you." I told him sincerely and then took the shield in my hands. I attached it to my left arm and found it fit perfectly. Then I cleared my throat, knowing Rin would finish her business soon.
"I must get going since I am only here escorting the Princess. Farewell."
I turned to leave and opened the door when my Father spoke again.
"Remember your oath always, but more importantly… stay alive."
I looked at him with a determined gaze and nodded firmly. He didn't even need remind me.
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I decided that before I went back to Rin I needed to make a quick stop. There was a little mound near the end of the village, more towards the mountains, that was usually a small haven from the constant snow. It was protected by the trees and rocks, not letting everything be covered by the white soft but deadly blanket.
My mother and siblings had loved that place. It was their little hiding place, their small paradise that only they knew of. It protected them from the harsh winters but it couldn't ward off everything…
Now it served as the site for their tombs.
Arriving at the spot, I noticed that there were tiny flowers surrounding the three tombstones, as if nature were always looking out for them. I placed the shield aside and slowly crumpled to my knees. I recited a reverent prayer and then stared blankly at them.
There was no use denying it, my emotions were slowly returning whether I liked it or not and I would simply have to deal with it. Yet now was one of those moments where I wished I could return to being nearly emotionless so I wouldn't be fazed… So my throat wouldn't knot and my chest wouldn't ache. How long has it been since their bodies have been buried under the cold ground, their skin no longer lush, their arms no longer embracing me?
"Hey Mom, Rei, and Rui," I began, not really knowing what to do, "I'm sorry for not visiting sooner, but you know what I've been up to, revenge and stuff."
I passed my hand through my messy blond hair and gave an exasperated sigh, "I have no idea what to say. Do I just talk and rant off on my problems? Shouldn't I come to venerate and not burden you? I don't know what to do!"
My hands clenched into fists, "For once I don't know what do! I need help! Mom, please tell me what I should do… I'm lost. On one hand Father wants me to take revenge and on the other… Ren isn't a bad guy. He really isn't. He wasn't the one responsible for your deaths so should he still die for it? Should he be one more of the deaths that taint his father's throne? Tell me the answer! Should he die? Should I kill him? Then there is also Rin… Mom, you'd really like Rin. As I'm here she is giving her condolences to those who died in an ambush a day ago. She's the one who saved me after your deaths. Rin's been my guardian angel these past years, her smile has kept me from going insane at some points, you know? I would give my life for her in a heartbeat… I know I have to keep my oath but I… I-I can't hurt her no matter what anyone says."
By that point tears had started to roll down my face, the cold wind quickly drying them as they fell.
"The twins have been making me feel things again. They're making me open up my carefully constructed barrier that took years to create! I.. I have friends now. Before, I didn't even want to even think of the term and now I ended up with them. I care for people. I care for Rin… I-I-I don't know what do. I don't want to leave that all behind… I know it has to be done for your revenge but my will is growing weaker day by day. Forgive me. Forgive me for wavering on my oath. Do you even want revenge? Please guide me… I am lost and you know what? I'm scared. I'm scared of these new found emotions… I'm scared of the pain. Help me, Mom…"
I heard the snapping of twigs and I quickly turned around, my hand already unsheathing my sword. My shoulders visibly dropped as I saw the emerging figure. Rin was standing there, her face pale from the cold and her sea blue eyes wide with shock. They darted from me to the shield to the tombstone. Had she finally realized…
"Kagamine Genevive, Rei, and Rui…" she whispered, "Kagamine Len… seven years ago…"
I remained silent, wiping the fresh tears from my face.
"That was you?" Rin asked slowly, her entire body shaking.
I nodded, inwardly glad she had finally connected the pieces together.
"I knew you reminded me of someone, someone from the past, but I couldn't figure out who. You were the last survivor of the Kagamine Clan from this very village! You were the one who saw this massacre take place… I couldn't… I couldn't… Why didn't you tell me?" She questioned in a strained manner.
Then, without warning, she came up to me, "Unsheathe your sword."
I did as told, noticing how her beautiful eyes were brimming with tears. She then kneeled in front of me, not caring about her dress.
I stared at her dumbfounded until she spoke, "It is time I set something right. I couldn't save your family or this village so it is time I pay in my father's name. With your loved ones present whom we have harmed, kill me."
I blinked rapidly, not sure if I had heard her right.
"Kill me, Len. Take revenge for your entire village! My life won't make up for theirs but at least I'll be at peace! This entire war is wrong and it wouldn't be an honorable death but here I can redeem the royal crown."
My hand gripped the sword with so much strength that my knuckles turned white. Then, my limbs all began shaking. She had nothing to do with this… Neither did Ren, so why should they pay for another's crime? If the King would be in her place, my hand wouldn't hesitate in swinging my blade. Yet, Rin… Once again, tears began to roll down my cold cheeks. Damn it, I should really stop doing that…
"Why do you ask of me an impossible task?!" I questioned through gritted teeth, "WHY?!"
With that, I stabbed the snow with my sword and embraced her. I don't know why but in that moment I needed to feel warm arms surrounding me. I needed to feel that not all in my life was hopeless and dire. Rin tensed at my sudden action but then slowly returned the embrace.
"What do you think this kingdom would do without you? What do you think Ren would do without you? What would I do without you? You aren't responsible for what happened back then! In fact, you saved my life! How do you expect me to even remotely think about taking yours? Stop thinking you are no use to this kingdom because you would make a better monarch than anyone I know! Don't ever think about throwing your life away in order to compensate anything. Instead, strive to build a better future! I'll be there next to you whenever you need me so please… please don't cry."
"I'll only stop if you do." She remarked with a slight giggle.
Then she lifted her index finger to wipe one of my tears away, "I never thought you could cry. I've never seen you do it and now that you have... I'm reminded of how human we all are. I guess I'd forgotten that. Ren too. Thank you for allowing me to see this side of you. I know it is difficult and painful, but it has to be done in order to truly live. I promise that I will be more open to you too. Thank you, Len."
She looked up at me and planted a small kiss on my cheek. I hoped that my blood would be too cold to rush to my face but apparently it wasn't and I felt a slight blush dust my cheeks. We both stood up and wiped off our clothing. I retrieved my things and we headed back, feeling a great weight lifted off our shoulders.
When we got to the castle, Kaito immediately ran out to meet us. I thought it was an issue of being low on ice-cream or something until I saw his frightened face.
"Len! I need your help!"
"What is it?"
"Miku, one of the kitchen maids, is going to be sent to jail for supposedly poisoning you but I know she didn't do it! I know she's innocent! Len, you have to help me save her!"
That is when I remembered that we still hadn't figured out who poisoned me…
We had a spy within the castle and it could be literally anyone…
Kaito's eyes looked at me pleadingly and it was then that I knew he truly believed in this girl's innocence. I guess I should start changing my attitude now, for Rin's sake overall… that would mean starting to believe in others and trusting them as well.
"Fine, let's go. Where is she?"
A/N: There. It's done for now. Next chapter shouldn't take long. Most of my issues have been resolved or dealt with so you guys can expect more updates soon, ok? For real this time I will continue my one month thing starting November since this month is almost over Until then I will update what I can. Thank you to all who've had the patience to stick by my side. Seriously, I don't know how you deal with me, I really don't xD but that doesn't mean I'll ever stop being grateful So on to the responses!
Xitlalit123: Rin will hang around for a bit more ;) You were almost right on the sword part!
KagamineRin02: You understand me so well! :D I applaud you for that. Yes, I do get headaches trying to figure out what is to come next and get migranes knowing all of you have been waiting for so long thank you.
Hazelholy: Thank you!
Ten-Faces: He will definitely start catching up more and more…
Kayctus: Sorry for not updating sooner and thank you for giving this a second chance/re-discovering it! I'm glad you liked it!
ZXCVBNMEM: Emi, you are too lenient on me~~ Too awesome for me! Sorry for letting you down and updating sooooooo late please forgive me~!
MercilessSpirit; I have lots of bunnies. Some are named PLOT and others CLIFFHANGER :D Sorry for the lag…
Hosgimura Hinata: Sorry for the wait~
12domba: Thank you very much!
Lolly101: Please tell me you didn't die… the wait was too long…
.Tophats: Thanks ;)
MikageHime: Sorry for the wait
XxDaughter Of EvilxX: I will keep on continuing it, no worries! Thank you very much!
xXKiyoneXx: Thank you!
