Thanks for all the reviews! Relatively short chapter, but if I put in the next part then it would be too much happening in one chapter so please enjoy this and please review!
The goddess's words made Buffy look at her more closely. Despite the bright light surrounding her, Buffy could make out a beautiful face, with hair like spun gold tumbling down the immortal's back in soft waves. Buffy said eagerly,
"If you're the goddess of life then you can help me, right?"
The goddess looked at her gravely and said quietly, but piercingly,
"What you seek is in my power, yes, Slayer, but it is against the rules. To do such a deed as this you have to be the one to accomplish it. No other being can achieve it and I cannot assist you in anyway except to give you advice."
Buffy waited expectantly, disappointed that the goddess couldn't help her…no disappointment was too small a word to describe it, grief and pain would be more apt. Yet that the goddess would give her advice raised her hopes ever so slightly. The goddess was on her side even though she would not help, but the words that next came to her ears angered her.
"Did you ever think that Spike might not want to come back? That he might be happy as you were when you died in that hell cortex? Mightn't it be better to just let go?"
Tears started to stream down Buffy's face as she yelled,
"No! How can I let go when I said and did so many awful things to him when all he wanted was to love me? I never let him know how much he meant to me because I was too proud and I constantly made him feel awful. I can't let go. I have to tell him that I am so sorry and that I love him. That I love him more than I ever did or ever could love Angel and that life has lost its meaning without him. I can't…I just can't…" she had started to gasp during the speech. The goddess laid a calming hand on her shoulder, soothing the sobbing Slayer. The deity smiled and said,
"Yes, you are worthy. But if you succeed you must remember that he will feel like you did when you came back. Remember that and be there for him…but you must remember my words for they may be the only true help that you can get to bring back your vampire."
With these words Buffy began to feel sleepy and the goddess began to fade, but then with an almighty effort she forced her eyes open and said,
"Wait! Wait, you…" but the immortal had already gone and blackness began to envelope the Slayer. Soon Buffy stopped fighting it and just let it lull her back to sleep. When she woke again the first sight that met her eyes was Amelie's worried face. Soon Angel's face came into view as well as the rest of her friends. She croaked,
"What are they all doing here?"
Amelie said, relieved that she had woken up,
"You've been gone for a day and a half and I was worried so I called them up and they got on the first flight here."
Buffy was shocked. Her meeting with the goddess had seemed a mere few minutes, but obviously not. Dawn suddenly flew at her and hugged her tightly.
"Please don't scare me like that ever again. I lost you once and I really don't want to do it again. Please!"
Buffy nodded and whispered,
"I promise."
She looked at Angel, hatred still in her eyes, but there was also some gratitude mixed in, but that made her hate him all the more. She couldn't stand being beholden to a vampire who had murdered Spike. Angel looked away, unable to meet her smouldering gaze. He said tentatively,
"Uh, Buffy, do you mind if I have my car back?"
Buffy nodded, not saying a single word, not trusting herself to speak. Willow watched the silent interchange carefully, seeking a sign of relenting from Buffy, an indication of redemption for the vampire, but there was nothing.
BTVS BTVS
"What happened, Buffy?" As no one had asked this question yet Giles posed the question. Buffy shook her head, unwilling to share her experience. It had not been of this world and she didn't want everyone else to know. And just as she never spoke of the cave in Africa she would never speak of this incident with anyone else except Spike. She said,
"Let's go home, guys."
They all agreed and soon were on their way home. This time around Buffy was attentive and looked after Dawn. She patrolled and laughed and joked, but it was slightly robotic. Her laugh was empty and humourless, her jokes were bitter and cynical and her heart was not in the patrolling. The only thing that she did with her heart was to look after Dawn. She was always diligent in taking care of her younger sister, so much so that Dawn soon began to feel suffocated. Large arguments began to ensue with Dawn trying to rebel and Buffy trying to be there for her. After these disagreements Buffy always needed to get some fresh air and soon she was taking longer and longer walks. Before long she was walking out of LA and one day she walked so far that she reached the crater where Sunnydale used to be. She sat down here and she could almost smell Spike's unique scent; she could almost feel his comforting presence, the sense of safety he always brought. She began to come back more and more and soon she was coming everyday just trying to catch that security again.
