Author's Note: Not ours, blah blah.

For the first time in their history, Remus was able to get Severus to have a serious conversation while sober. They both put their cards on the table, mostly on the subject of how they behaved in school. Over the years, Severus had gradually forgiven Remus for his tolerance of James and Sirius, but he never completely understood it nor did he seem to care to. Remus explained to him, anyway, that he'd been in love with Sirius. Sirius had only ever wanted his friendship, and Remus always despised that privately. He figured if anyone might understand that, Severus would be the one. "I've pined," he agreed, "you know that. I've pined more than not."

Severus confessed to having felt very deeply for Lucius Malfoy, explaining that he'd muted his feelings in their conversations for Remus's sake. As much as he'd wanted to know the truth, Remus truly wished he'd never asked, a common feeling when it came to the subject of Severus's history. The man was well-skilled at knowing which truths to eliminate; Remus detested lies of omission. Therefore, he would insist. His discomfort was his own fault. Still . . ..

"It was second year when it started," he began.

"You were twelve?" Remus replied, surprised.

"Thirteen," Severus corrected.

"But Malfoy was at least . . .."

"Eighteen," Severus answered. "I was skiving off class one day. Potions, of all things. He was a prefect. He caught me standing outside of the Room Of Requirement and demanded I take him in and show him what was more important than my responsibilities. The answer? A bit of bloody privacy. Nothing more than time alone. So I took him with me into the room where I expected to find only my fire and chair. I read there.

"My imaginings were, indeed, present. Lucius's were, too. A bed.

"He told me to sit on the bed and lectured me about the importance of responsibility. I sat quietly, enduring his scolding with patience. I only wanted to avoid trouble. He sat beside me and put his hand in the small of my back, told me I was tempting . . . for a half-blood. He told me to stand; I complied. He told me to disrobe. I refused. Vehemently. So he stood and began to strip me himself. Once my robes were off, he ran his fingertips over my body, smiling slimily. My hair stood on end. I asked him to stop, but he wouldn't. He wouldn't even consider it.

"He kissed my neck. I pulled away, but he wouldn't have it." Severus stopped and stared at Remus. "The only person who knows more about this than you is Albus. And that's why I'm an expert Occlumens." He frowned at Remus. "It didn't matter that I was afraid. I didn't care that Lucius had pinned me and refused to listen to me. I just wanted a chance with him. And after the second encounter, Albus learned too much about my sex life, a sex life I knew perfectly well I shouldn't even have had."

Remus couldn't believe his ears. "Dumbledore let this continue?"

"I wouldn't have stopped, anyway. I was completely smitten." Remus couldn't fight a look of repulsion. "You're right; it's disgusting. More disgusting was that I fell in love with him. Most disgusting is that I wanted with him what I have with you and I believed I'd have it. Albus was completely disappointed in me. And I hated that to the point of hating myself. I bought right in to Lucius's perspective on the world because I disrespected Albus so completely that I felt safest in Lucius's company.

"I knew everything I was doing was wrong, but I simply couldn't care. I couldn't care about much of anything apart from study, Lucius, and Lily. And Lily . . .." Severus shook his head and snorted. "I can't believe how well I messed that up.

"I ended up living with Lucius that summer and spent every trip to Hogsmeade the following five years locked away with him in one place or another. I wished I could be with him all the time. Being at Hogwarts often made me miserable - I even considered dropping out. It was Lucius who convinced me I was too skilled a wizard to leave school and waste my opportunities. It's nearly impossible to see opportunity when there's a group of people bent on ruining every day of your life."

Remus never regretted his role in James and Sirius's nonsense more than after Severus's story.

"You've got that look on your face. The one you get when you're blaming yourself. I don't blame you," Severus told him. "Especially as there's nothing that can be done about it now. You were a kid. Irrational. Dependent. All the things I was."

Severus was, for the first time, making an unequivocal statement of forgiveness of Remus. It was much unexpected.

Later that night, after Severus had fallen asleep, Remus went back downstairs to the den where he smoked the last of Neville's Finest and stared at the vial that contained Severus's memory. Naturally, he was curious (who wouldn't be?), but he wasn't sure he actually wanted to know. At the end of the day he knew where Severus's loyalty lay. And - though he doubted he'd ever hear it - he knew that Severus loved him. Of that he no longer had any doubt.

Remus knew Lucius had set out to draw them into this mess the moment he approached them at The Leaky Cauldron on their anniversary, that seeking Severus out and seducing him had always been part of the plan. If that was the case, could Remus really fault Severus for any misdeed that might have happened that afternoon? Especially when his own foolish reaction to Malfoy was taken into account.

He sat there staring at the memory for what seemed like hours. He watched as it swirled around in the vial while he tried to work through all of the thoughts running through his head. The more he thought of it, the more he realized all of it came down to one thing: trust. How much did Remus trust Severus?

He was about to go back to bed when Severus came down. He said nothing, simply watched as Remus put the memory on the mantle and joined him in the doorway. Remus tucked Severus's hair behind his ears and rested his forehead against his mate's. They stood like that, their arms wrapped loosely around each other for quite awhile before Remus broke the silence.

"I have only one question for you, Severus."

"What's that?" he asked nervously.

"Did you sleep with Malfoy that afternoon?" Remus pulled back just enough to catch Severus's eye. The man swallowed several times. "A simple yes or no will suffice, but I'm pretty sure I already know the answer," Remus said, giving Severus what he hoped was an encouraging smile.

"No. I didn't."

"That's all I need to know," he said, pulling Severus closer to him. "Let's get back to bed."

The next two days were spent plotting and shagging. The memory remained on the mantle. Remus knew he'd have to view it one day. At some point Severus would insist, but for now they were both content to let it rest. If nothing else, they had more pressing matters to deal with. Reluctantly, they officially called The Order back together.

They decided to meet that night at Spinner's End. Once they'd all arrived, tea was prepared, and everyone said had their hellos, Remus immediately got down to business. He explained to everyone what they'd seen and what they'd been told. Shacklebolt went into more detail regarding the Ministry's support of Percy's campaign.

Harry addressed the growing anti-werewolf sentiment. "It isn't just werewolves. They're after goblins, vampires, giants. The Pureblood Mania remains an underlying issue."

Severus frowned. "Malfoy's finally figured out how to tap into irrational fear."

Ron shook his head. "Bloody Percy." He turned to Arthur. "He's adopted, right?" he asked. "There's some good reason he's a prat that's beyond his control."

"No, he's not adopted." Arthur took off his glasses and cleaned them. "As for being a prat, it's the downside of blind ambition, I suppose. Your brother has always sought . . . greatness . . . for want of a better word."

"But how could he get involved with Malfoy?" Ron asked.

"Let's just say that Lucius can be very, um . . . persuasive . . . when he wants to be," Severus replied.

"Persuasive. What do you mean persuasive?"

Remus looked over to catch Severus's eye. They shared a look which did not go unnoticed by Arthur.

"It doesn't really matter Ron," Arthur interjected. "Your brother is who he is and there's nothing you can do to change that. We have other things we need to address tonight."

"You're right," Ron grumbled. "I just . . .." He trailed off. "Right. What's the plan?"

Remus cleared his throat. "First off, we need intelligence. We need to know as much as possible about what Malfoy is planning." He put his hand on Severus's thigh. "To that end, Severus has agreed to act as spy for the Order once more."

"No!" Everyone looked at Harry, surprised by his outburst. He blushed furiously and Remus saw Ginny take his hand under the table. "I understand why, but there has to be another way. Ron or Arthur could pretend to support Percy and get information that way. Or I could let Lucius court me to his side of the argument." Severus chuckled a bit at Harry's choice of words. "Or Neville! Neville knows everyone now."

Remus frowned. "Severus has already made up his mind. There is no one else who can get as close as Severus can."

"Why wouldn't Malfoy find this suspicious? Severus has spied before. Why would they take him back?"

"Severus has a status now which is useful to Malfoy. Severus has seen much acceptance despite his activities as a Death Eater. He was forgiven. Malfoy can't do that on his own. He might have public opinion on his side, but he still needs Severus. Period," Remus explained.

Harry shook his head. "Remus, you can't let this happen to you. Please . . . there has to be another way."

Severus shook his head. "Not a way this easy or effective. I have to do this, Harry." He sighed. "I can handle it. I've lived it before."

"Yet another reason to find someone else! Come on, Severus. You can sit this one out. There's no point in you getting so involved."

"I have every reason to be so involved, not the least of which is my lifelong association with a werewolf. You believe I'm going to sit idly by while they threaten to ruin my life and destroy Remus's very existence?"

"I know," Harry said. "It just feels too much like last time."

"Do not make the mistake of thinking this is like last time," Remus said quietly. "This is much worse. People are scared and angry. You of all people know what it's like out there, Harry. Things have not become the pleasant utopia everyone was hoping for after the last war. They will be hard pressed to believe that the people who are promising them safety and security are really out to get them. This is going to be worse than last time." Remus stopped talking when he felt Severus's hand on his arm.

"It will be harder than last time, but it doesn't have to be worse," Severus said smoothly.

"Especially if we can promote an alternative candidate," Hermione said softly. She looked up as she realized everyone had heard her. "Right now Percy is more or less unopposed. The current minister doesn't stand a chance. Now that I think about it, it's amazing he hasn't been sacked. What if we could offer a third option?"

"That's not a bad idea," Severus said slowly, looking at Remus. "Presenting another candidate could draw the battle into the press, as well; and if anybody knows how to manipulate the press in this room it's 'The Golden Trio'."

Remus considered the suggestion as favorably as Severus. "I like that, too. Who among The Order would be our most ideal candidate?"

"Harry's got name recognition," Ron suggested.

"I'm also better used elsewhere in this scenario," Harry replied. Ron nodded.

"George would be great," Hermione thought aloud. "He's so personable. Successful businessman. Brilliant, innovative wizard. But he's also a bad choice for a variety of other reasons."

Arthur chuckled.

"What about you, Hermione?" Remus asked.

Hermione looked up quickly, surprised. "I . . . I don't know about that."

"Hermione! You'd be brilliant!" Ron encouraged.

"It isn't about being brilliant, Ron, it's about knowing what you're doing."

"Not quite," Severus interjected. "It's about surrounding yourself with people who know what they're doing."

Everyone considered this quietly.

"You are popular with ministry officials," Shacklebolt said. "Very well trusted. You're quite clever."

"Quite clever," Remus emphasized.

"I can't think of a single reason you shouldn't go through with this," Shacklebolt finished.

"I'm not too young and inexperienced?" Hermione asked.

Severus laughed. "You're better suited than Weasley and that's not just because I agree with your politics. You're a warveteran. He's a bureaucrat. While you were risking your life, he was sitting behind a desk sucking up to Ministry officials. Believe me, he stands no chance against you."

"Barring any unforeseen circumstances," Remus added. "If he can get enough people bought into the Pure-Blood sentiment, then we could have trouble." He smiled at Hermione. "But they can't accomplish that."

"People are dense, but they aren't that dense," Ron said.

"Especially if we pair it with one of Harry's ideas," Bill said sitting forward.

"Which idea was that?" Harry asked uncertainly.

"Sending in another spy. Dad could throw his weight behind Percy. It would put dad in a situation to better collect intelligence at the Ministry if they think he's willing to tow the line. Not to mention that Percy will tell you anything if he thinks you'll approve."

"Would you be comfortable doing that, Arthur?"

"Molly's gonna have kittens."

"That's a yes," Ginny translated.

"I think, however, that it might not be believable if you come out publicly with this. Lucius is a man who appreciates subtly and he'd never believe that you would face Molly's wrath even for a son," Severus drawled. "You should approach Percy in private and tell him he's not to tell anybody that you've spoken. Lucius will come to you."

Remus and Severus exchanged glances. As important as he knew the meeting to be, he wanted nothing more than to get Severus back into bed and enjoy what might be their last decent evening together. Pressing matters, of course, would take precedence. He smiled at Severus and looked to Arthur, who had nodded along with Severus's instructions. "We should all consider this a plan under construction. Brainstorm. Communicate. Keep us posted."

"And get out of our house," Severus added. Everyone laughed and said their goodbyes. Severus waited until he was sure everyone was gone before grabbing Remus and dragging him to their bedroom. He wandlessly banished their clothing before pushing Remus down on the bed.

"And you wonder why I like you sober," Remus said chuckling. Severus smirked at Remus before cutting his laughter off with a kiss. It wasn't often that Severus took the dominant role during their love making, but it turned Remus on like nothing else and he revelled in the feeling of being taken, of being owned. Severus didn't hold back. Remus knew he'd be sore in the morning. He loved every minute of it.

o0o

Severus knew he'd hurt Remus, but he couldn't bring himself to care. Looking over at his lover, he didn't think Remus really cared either.

"I didn't want to mention it at the meeting, but there could be an added bonus to Hermione running for minister."

"Oh," Remus responded lazily, running his fingers through Severus's hair. "What would that be?"

"That Lucius might ask me to spy for him." Severus smirked as he watched Remus consider the possibilities.

Remus grinned. "I wouldn't count on that. If I recall correctly, you mentioned he was quite possessive. I think if that's the case in general it's going to be so ten-fold when it comes to you."

Severus rolled his eyes. "He doesn't care about me as much as you think he does. It's like you said; he needs me."

Remus nodded. "Indeed, he does. I maintain that he's jealous of me."

Severus laughed. "That much is obvious." They stared at each other for a few moments before he leaned in and kissed Remus. "I'm not looking forward to tomorrow."

"Neither am I," Remus replied. "All the more reason to stop talking and make the best of tonight."

"Yes, sir."

o0o

The next morning Remus woke up sore and (once again) alone. He didn't love the idea of never saying goodbye to Severus in the morning. The danger in his task was inherent. Everyday he risked death. But, Remus supposed, there's no joy in constant last goodbyes. Unfortunately, there was no real future in anything but.

Remus managed to forget that Hermione was flooing in at nine in order to discuss the campaign. He met her downstairs a few moments after he heard her arrive. They spent the morning outlining the major talking points of Hermione's platform and general campaign strategy. Lunch was devoted to the whens, wheres, and hows of Hermione announcing her candidacy. Harry turned up just as they were finishing.

"Ready to go?" he asked both of them, skipping the small talk and pleasantries.

"Let me just run to the loo," Hermione said, rushing upstairs. Remus took the opportunity to start cleaning up the parchments spread out all over the table.

"Any chance we can find a different headquarters for Hermione's campaign as well?" Remus asked, looking at everything Hermione had managed to cram in her bag only to have it spread all over the dinning room table.

Harry laughed. "You can use Grimmauld Place. I'll send Kreacher over to get it ready and lend you a hand."

"Thanks," Remus said. "You know she has a real shot at this. Lucius will most definitely see her as a threat."

"I've already thought of that, Remus. Security is in place."

"Good."

"Ready," Hermione said, coming down the stairs and grabbing her bag. "Where are we going?"

"You'll see," Harry replied mysteriously before leading them outside to the apparation point. A few minutes later they found themselves standing in front of an old manor house that looked to be in ruins. He looked around skeptically, but Harry just grinned at him. He looked over to Hermione who had a puzzled expression on her face.

"Come on, then," Harry said leading them up the path to the door. He unlocked it (though Remus couldn't imagine why locking it was needed) and gestured them inside. Remus went first and stopped just inside the doorway. The outside appearance was more than a little misleading.

"I thought you might like it," Harry said cheekily as Hermione and Remus wandered around the hall peeking in various rooms.

"What is this place? How did you find it?" Hermione asked.

"It's the old Riddle place. I bought it a few years ago. Thought it might come in handy some day," he stated matter of fact. "Besides, who would ever think to look for the-boy-who-lived-in a house that once belonged to Voldermort's . . . family? I've made it unplottable and added every other security measure I could find. The only thing left now is a Fidelius Charm," he said turning to Hermione. "I trust you can do it?"

"Of course I can," she said simply.

"Good. Then I am donating this house to act as headquarters for The Order of the Phoenix. Remus, will you be our secret keeper?"

Remus was taken aback, but could see the logic in Harry's decision. "I would be honored."

"Good. Let's get started."

For such a complicated spell it didn't take very long to perform. They spent the afternoon exploring the house and discussing the new Headquarters for both Hermione's campaign and The Order. The rest of The Order members trickled in gradually as Remus let everyone know where it was located.

Molly cooked dinner that evening and watched the kids while the details of Hermione's campaign were revealed. "We will organize an official announcement of her campaign to happen next week. As far as we know right now, no one knows what we're doing. Lucius is currently organizing a dinner for Percy to announce. I was thinking a simple press conference would suffice. Hermione and I have worked out a platform. She's written a stump speech. Hermione? " Remus prompted her.

"It's a work in progress," she explained. Hermine gulped and cleared her throat as she looked down at the stump speech in her hands.

"12 years ago, a war was fought against tyrannical oppression. Today, we are being threatened again by a similar regime, a regime that seeks to control and to manipulate, to lie and mislead. They will plot, they will scheme and they will abolish the liberties for which my friends and I fought and risked our lives.

"They will tell you never to forget. That's good advice.

"Never forget the threats to your friends, family, and neighbors.

"Never forget the lives that were lost.

"Never forget the lies that were told by the press and Ministry.

"Never forget the perpetrators. "

Silence fell over the room as she finished. George's voice cracked a bit as he spoke. "That's perfect."

"It's evocative," Kingsley added.

Hermione smiled at Remus. "I'm proud of you," he said, taking her hand and squeezing encouragingly. "As I said, she will announce next week. In the meantime, Severus has already managed to get back in with Malfoy."

"Not that difficult, as it turns out," Severus remarked.

"He's acquired details regarding Percy's campaign dinner. He's secured an invite." Remus looked at Severus and sighed. "Straight out the gate, we're going great. I expect things will get much more difficult, but as it stands, we're breezing through and making much headway."

Severus cut in. "Take extra care not to reveal your political positions to anyone unless it's a part of your role in The Order."

"Absolutely," Remus agreed. "Harry has offered Grimmauld Place to function as headquarters for the campaign. I've already stationed tight, twenty-four hour security and implemented a variety of protective spells. But we must expect attacks. We must anticipate we will be found out and acknowledge the possibility we could lose."

"Under no circumstances should we accept it, though," Severus chimed in sternly.

Remus smiled. "I'm not sure any of us knows how to accept a loss."

"Because we don't lose," Ron added. "And we won't lose."

Remus arrived at Grimmauld place the next morning surprised to find it full of house elves bustling about doing all manner of tasks. He finally found Hermione in the library doing research.

"I hope I'm not disturbing you," he said quietly not wanting to startle her.

"Of course not, Remus," she said looking up. "Did we have an appointment?"

"You already sound ministerial," he joked, taking a seat. "No, we didn't have an appointment. I came by to ask you a favor. I also ask that you take time to think about it before you agree," he said, holding up his hand and preventing her from volunteering before he told her what it was. "There may come a time when Severus is . . . indisposed. If that becomes the case I'll need someone to brew the Wolfsbane potion for me. I hope it doesn't come to that, but I have to plan for the possibility. I know that you already have a very full schedule, but if at all possible, I'd like the brewer to be someone I know."

He leaned back and watched her process what she was being asked to do. She put her quill down and moved to sit on the couch next to him.

"Correct me if I'm wrong Remus, but were Snape to become 'indisposed' then, given your connection, wouldn't the Wolfsbane be a superfluous gesture at that time?" she asked hesitantly.

"Were he to become permanently indisposed, you would be correct. I was thinking more along the lines of his having to remain with Lucius for an extended amount of time. If that were to happen I would need the potion more than ever."

"I see," she said looking at him as if she really did see. "I will brew the potion. I'll teach Fleur how to, as well, just in case. She's been bugging me to do it, anyway."

"Thank you, Hermione. You're the only person I could think of who Severus might actually trust to brew in his stead." Hermione blushed at the compliment. "I must also ask you not to speak to Severus about this conversation. It would only worry him."

"What conversation?" she asked, switching back to her candidate voice.

He bowed his head in acknowledgement of her acquiescence. "Tell me why are there house elves running amok in campaign headquarters?"

"Well," she began. She took a deep breath. "Some Hogwarts elves managed to overhear me rehearsing my speech. Since I've always been so kind to them, they really like me. And they want to help out." Remus frowned. "I know, I know. But they're all very intrigued by what the campaign stands for. They're ready to work for this. Tirelessly. You know, assuming I don't leave them unemployed."

Remus sighed and nodded. "We're only a few days away from announcing. I think this will be O.K.."

She nodded eagerly. "I'll be more careful."

He smiled at her. "You're very busy in your role. Don't feel bad for having slipped up; you're distracted. Make sure you cast a muffliato next time. Severus didn't do all that work for nothing," he finished, winking at her as he exited.

Remus returned to Spinner's End just in time for his meeting with Harry, who he found standing on the front step.

"I hope you haven't been waiting long," Remus said apologetically, as he unlocked the door.

"Not at all," the young man replied, following Remus into the house. Remus had Harry put on the kettle while he relocked the house.

"So, what do you want to talk to me about two hours before an order meeting?" Harry asked sounding slightly annoyed.

"I need to know your take on Draco," Remus responded. "Your personal take on Draco. The two of you have been working side by side for several weeks now."

"Why couldn't this conversation have waited?"

"Because I need to know whether or not to invite him to join the Order," Remus said calmly. He chuckled a bit when Harry choked on his tea. Remus waited until he'd recovered before telling him about Draco's visit. When he finished Harry leaned back in his chair looking thoughtful.

"Well, he's still a right bastard," Harry said cheekily. Remus threw a biscuit at him that Harry deflected with a lazy flick of his wand. "Whether he's trying to play us or not, that does explain a number of things. Like the fact that he's let me choose most of the Counter Terrorism Squad."

"That is interesting," Remus mused. "Do you trust him?"

"Can we start off with an easier question?" Remus threw another biscuit at him. "Sorry," Harry continued. "It's been a long week. I'm a little punchy. I guess my answer depends on what you mean by trust him."

"I'd like him to act as a spy for the Order. Draco is done with that life but he knows his father is power-hungry enough that, with this particular timing, he'd suspect Draco was returning to ride his coattails." Remus sighed. "There's only so much Malfoy's going to tell Severus."

Harry nodded. "I suppose that makes sense," he replied reasonably. "He's been very quiet for several years now. He was having disagreements with his father and removed himself from that circle. You're correct; it's a perfect time to use the power ruse. It actually explains why he's working for his father again. But to say I trust him . . .."

"In a limited capacity?" Remus asked hopefully.

Harry took a moment to consider the question. "If he were only permitted to spy, but didn't attend the meetings . . . it could work. I don't trust him outright."

"Fair enough," Remus sighed. "I'd so hoped he'd work out."

"He may yet," Harry attempted to encourage.

"We will put him to work immediately. I instructed him to keep you out of the loop. Now that you know about him, however, I think it's best if the two of you work together. It will be far easier for you to meet with him regularly than me."

"Obviously," Harry replied. "When was the last time you spoke with him?"

"Just the one time. I wanted to more information before I made the final decision," he said, leaning back. "Perhaps another visit from the head of the Counter Terrorism Squad is in order."

"I'll arrange it immediately. "

"No, wait until after the full moon."

Yes, of course," Harry said a little sheepishly. "Is there anything else?"

"No, I'll see you at the meeting," Remus replied.

He sat quietly after Harry left, wondering for awhile what Severus might be doing and trying his damnedest not to picture it.