Naruto Fanfic – "The Space Between Dream and Reality"
Written January 2007 by Astra M.
Author's Note: Again inspired by 30 Kisses but left in an unfinished state on the hard drive. Had to break it out because I consider this a bit of penance and a bit of therapy for my recent treatment of Shikamaru elsewhere. Courage, right?
Shikamaru was sitting restlessly on the ground watching the campfire, feeling its heat prickling uncomfortably along his face. Choji and the others were off hunting, leaving him and Ino behind to watch the camp. It was a rare moment for them to be left alone together, and Shikamaru had a suspicion that this had been deliberate. Not that he had much idea what he should do with it.
A strange distance had sprung up between Shikamaru and Ino recently, and for once he was completely at a loss. Planning shogi strategies was much easier than figuring out the people in his life, and Ino was harder than most. Her behavior towards him, once so open and predictable, had grown strangely erratic. Additionally, she had been quiet more often than not these days – likewise unusual behavior. It was almost as if a stranger had unexpectedly taken up residence in Ino's body, an elusive shadow twin who beckoned to him like a tantalizing mirage yet vanished whenever he drew close...
Did she have no idea how frustrated he was getting over this?
The sound of movement to his right drew his attention, and without turning to look Shikamaru listened as Ino settled on the ground nearby. His mouth curled into a grim smile. There she was again, hovering so close yet just out of reach.
He sighed.
They sat that way for several long, silent minutes. Ensconced as he was by the warmth of the fire and the stillness of the night, the mood should have been perfect for indulging in idle contemplation. But his mind was too restless for that, the nearness of Ino was oddly too disruptive to allow him any peace. Just as Shikamaru thought that he ought to get up and go somewhere else, even if only to sink his agitated head into his bedroll, she spoke.
"It's so strange... almost like it should be real yet it's not quite real..."
Tilting his head curiously, Shikamaru saw what had drawn Ino's attention. She was half-twisted towards him, staring down at the shadows dancing over the ground between them. One slender hand had reached out tentatively to touch the edge of the nearest.
"Not quite real?" he asked, mystified by her actions. "What do you mean?"
In response, Ino pressed her hand further into the darkened area, almost as if she was caressing it. She appeared to be lost in thought as she traced a finger along the thickest wedge of shadow, which happened to be cast off his torso. "Shadows are such strange things when you really stop to think about them."
"...Strange?" mumbled Shikamaru after a moment, for once not really following her words. Instead he found himself being slowly mesmerized by her roving hands. "You think so?"
"Well, I guess you wouldn't," answered Ino lightly, in a tone that made Shikamaru's blood warm. He hadn't heard her laugh in days and was disappointed when she quickly grew serious again. But he said nothing, instead watching Ino draw her fingers upwards as if they were sifting through the darkness. "I guess I think it's strange, the way you can see a shadow so clearly but you can't touch it. It's not a real, physical thing."
"No. It only becomes physical when I pump my chakra into it," agreed Shikamaru with a shrug. "My family's Kagemane arts are all based on that."
"But Shikamaru, how can that be? A shadow is formed from the absence of light - an area of nothingness. So what medium are you really working with when you use your jutsu?" A perturbed expression crossed Ino's face and she dropped her hand. "How is it even possible? How is it that something can be created from nothing?"
Isn't that the great mystery of life, Ino? thought Shikamaru as he arched a surprised brow at her. He'd never heard Ino wax philosophical like this before. Turning over onto his side to face her better, Shikamaru cast a speculative look.
"Well... the mechanics are kind of complicated. It's not an easy technique to learn." He paused, deliberately catching her eyes with his own. "... And it's something that we only share when someone becomes a member of the clan," he added carefully.
"I-I'm not trying to pry into your family secrets!" said Ino quickly, dropping her gaze and looking extremely flustered. "And I already know all about chakra manipulation. I haven't forgotten my academy lessons."
Silence stretched between them once more. Shikamaru saw Ino fidgeting with her hair; she seemed to be trying to keep her hands occupied and off the ground. He thought the action deeply intriguing, especially coupled with the pensive expression on her face. So he contented himself by simply watching her, and several minutes passed before Ino spoke again.
"What I'm trying to say is... in my head I get all that. But in my heart... I just don't know."
Only slightly distracted from his inspection of the interesting way the firelight was playing along her hair, Shikamaru made a show of beetling his brows. "...What don't you know?"
"Somehow, even though you say that, it still seems like an elaborate trick to me."
"A trick?" he asked, growing confused.
"Don't you think it's a... what is that word again? A paradox?"
Finally forcing himself to pay closer attention, Shikamaru sat up straighter. "Explain, please."
"How can I explain it?" Ino sighed. Cupping her hands beneath her chin, she briefly closed her eyes, lost in thought. When she opened them again, she lifted her face towards Shikamaru. "Has it ever struck you how much a shadow is... like a dream? When you go to sleep, you shut your eyes and everything seems so real, but when the morning comes and you open them up - it was all just a lie. And the dream felt so true, it was so good, that you were actually sorry to wake up?"
Now it was Shikamaru's turn to look away. "...Yeah," he mumbled quietly.
Ino smiled ruefully. Staring back down at the darkened patch next to Shikamaru, she wrapped her arms protectively around herself. "Well... shadows are like that. Even though they have a form, and an effect, and you can see them, there's still nothing really there - it's just like an illusion, a trick played by light." She stretched out a finger again, poking wistfully at the ground as her voice grew softer. "And... it's hard to put your trust in something like that. How can you know that what you think is there is really there, that's it's not all in your head, that it won't simply vanish in the sun? How could something so iffy ever become real?"
The traces of a smirk formed along Shikamaru's mouth as he considered her comments. He was caught between amusement at her illogical argument and surprise that he actually understood what she was really getting at. He felt a sense of ease returning as the oppressive spirit he'd been recently straining under suddenly lifted.
"Well, that's easy, Ino. It's our chakra that makes all the difference, of course."
"I told you I already know that," said Ino. "But I still -."
"No, no - you're not listening," Shikamaru interrupted patiently. "The answer is chakra - think about it."
Now it was Ino sending back the confused look. "Explain, please."
He looked keenly at her. "Chakra is our spirit, our stamina - it's basically our will, Ino. Yes, it's the essential medium that activates a jutsu, it's the force that turns an empty thing like a shadow into a physical reality... but it's more than just that."
Shikamaru paused, thinking deeply about the long, hard path he'd taken to reach this understanding, and how much he'd grown over the years. "You say that shadows are like dreams - but dreams aren't merely empty things. They're goals that give us purpose and direction in our lives." He gazed at her with eyes that were both surprisingly empathetic and tender. "And it's our choices and our desires that mark the boundary between what we merely dream for and what becomes reality. The only thing that holds us back is... our own fear."
Ino shifted uncomfortably, growing flustered again. She seemed inordinately focused on fingering the edges of the shadow. "But people don't fear the dark - the unknown - without reason. So many bad things happen under the cover of darkness... when you can't see what's coming. When you're not sure of what things really are."
"Maybe. But even so... fear is still a choice," he said quietly. "I'd like to think that our will is stronger."
Ino's hand briefly contracted, but then slowly relaxed. Her lips curved into a gentle smile as she casually began tracing a long line. "Our will is stronger..." she murmured, as if repeating a mantra.
Another minute of silence passed, but this time without discomfort. Somewhere in the back of his mind Shikamaru knew that it was reckless behavior, but the sight of Ino's fingers playing with the outline of his body was having a powerful effect on him. Feeling emboldened, he threw caution to the wind and surreptitiously performed a hand sign.
Ino started as the shadow surrounding her hand withdrew like a wave and pooled into a dark mass shaped like a limb. Then the dark tendril came to life and lifted up off the ground. Forming a hand it began to snake its way towards her. Ino barely had time to shoot a startled glance at Shikamaru before she let out small gasp - the hand had sinuously wound its way over a hip and came to rest on her bare torso.
Her muscles tensed at the unexpected intimacy, and Ino found herself staring down at her waist in mute astonishment. Then she looked hastily over at Shikamaru. She noticed that he was watching her expectantly, waiting for her next cue before trying anything more. She could practically hear his voice speaking inside her head:
It's your choice, Ino.
Ino immediately felt herself relax. Then reaching up, she slowly twined her fingers with the shadow's.
Shikamaru let out the breath he hadn't realized he'd been holding.
The shadow hand suddenly melted and split into three appendages, which curled themselves securely around her thighs and waist. Ino next found herself being lifted and carefully pulled across the distance, until she was dropped into Shikamaru's arms. As the shadow jutsu faded away, he rolled Ino onto her back and smiled gently down at her.
"So what's it going to be, Ino?"
With a sigh she closed her eyes and wrapped her arms around him. Then she took a leap of faith and leaned forward.
