Warning: This one-shot story contains spoilers for the latest mini stories of Straw Hats.

Author's Note: I had written this one-shot last week but couldn't find any internet to upload it. It was supposed to be a short one after the longer-than-usual previous chapter...

When this idea came to my mind, I was like 'you know, it is not above Oda to torment Sanji like that' so I wanted to write this what-if one-shot. All the facts about the war and other stuff are imaginary, since the story hasn't reached to that point yet.

Here it is! Enjoy it!

Curse of the Bounty Poster

Oh! How he missed these! His kitchen, the aquarium room, the men's quarters and the rest of Thousand Sunny. His nakama, this was the first time he was apart from them for such a long time. Dear Nami-san and Robin-chan, of course.

And his suits. Sanji would have never guessed he could miss his suits but he did, in such an extend that he adoringly watched them a few minutes before wearing one of them.

All in all, Sanji missed being on Thousand Sunny, sailing to new waters with his nakama.

Please put more emphasis on new waters because his last adventure was the definition of his personal hell. If he had thought that the incident with Duval earned the title, his short stay on Kamabakka Kingdom had earned it ten times more.

Anyway, these were past events and Sanji preferred to focus on the present and the future.

Happily, he got out of the kitchen with nine drinks balanced on his arms and went to the direction the most noise was coming. Everybody had gathered on to the lawn deck, laughing; but the moment they noticed Sanji's presence, their laughter ceased. Instead, all of them turned and started to look at him with strange expressions.

Sanji stopped suspiciously before shrugging and continued handing their drinks.

"Sanji-kun," Nami-san's beautiful voice broke the silence and with the sheer ecstasy of hearing her calling his name, Sanji wobbled with heart shaped eyes.

"Yes, Nami-swaan??"

"The new bounty posters are here, want to take a look?"

With a goofy smile and surrounded by pink hearts, he took a bunch of papers from Nami-saan. All the while he ignored the full of anticipation looks of his crewmates that followed his every move.

The first poster was Luffy's. Of course his bounty made another huge jump and was now an even more astonishing number. That was to be expected with his active participation to the world's most important war; and his invasion to Impel Down.

The second poster was Marimo's. Sanji might admit it was a nice increase, if he wanted to be objective.

The third poster was dear Nami-swaaan's. After her return from the weather-something sky island, her control over the weather increased astonishingly, so had her bounty. But considering it was beautiful Nami-san who owned this poster, this increase should have been much more. Much, much more.

The forth poster was Usopp's. There wasn't much change to his bounty but the picture reminded Sanji how thin Usopp used to be. Sanji was going to make sure that his diet would be a strict and effective one.

Then, there was Chopper's poster. Thankfully marines noticed that this reindeer was not Straw Hats' pet but a fighter among them, although it came a bit late.

The next one was Robin-cwaaan's. Her bounty increased as well after her interaction with the revolutionaries. Hah, such a large number suited lovely Robin-chan.

And, Franky's. There wasn't much change since he joined the war at the very last minute. But the fact that he joined was enough to increase the number.

Brook's. Now his picture was of a skeleton's instead of a human's and the number was suitable for a Straw Hat.

Finally! His poster! Sanji wondered why his was at the end of the bunch, and why everybody was still watching him ea...ger...ly...?

Whaaaa – ?

No, no no no no no no, of course not. Ha ha ha, someone must be kidding. He checked the name, then again and again. Black Leg Sanji. This was his name, right? No, no, no, NOOOO!!!!

Just what that marine - ? What in the name of - ? That bastard - ! Fucking - ! Damn! Those shi -! Mo - ! Arrrgh!!!

Choking on his cigarette, he fell on his knees and coughed a good, full minute. Wiping the tears on his eyes, he looked at the picture again.

Nope, it was still there!

Damn it! He couldn't even form any coherent insults!!

Damn it to the endless hells!! It was true, if Duval was his hell, that Kama Kingdom was his hell ten feet under the ground!

Instead of Duval, the picture on his poster was a blond weirdo with a curly wig and thick make-up. He could see the collar of the frilly dress and Sanji personally knew that the oddity on the picture was wearing high-heel sandals.

Nooo! They should have left him die there instead of spreading this picture to the whole world.

All his strength leaving his body, mind only capable of repeating 'noo' over and over again, Sanji slumped to the lawn deck.

Pointedly ignoring the wholehearted and hysterical laughing of his nakama around him.

With one eye, he glanced to the poster again. The bounty number was good but nooo, he refused to have such a poster!!!

He was going to call the Marine Headquarters and request his old picture. At least that way he was just the laughingstock of the ladies of the world, now the ladies wouldn't even glance to his direction, thinking he was a...a...Damn it!

Sanji couldn't find any other explanation: his poster was cursed.

Damn it! He could hear the laughter of the chefs in Baratie...