Dragon Ball Depravity: The Perfect Couple (Circa Dragon Ball Episode 1)
One sunny day, a young Son Goku was out on the path on Mount Paozu enjoying his lunch. "Aah, that hit the spot," he said with a satisfied rub of his belly. He then began to hear a strange sound he'd never heard before - the sound of a car engine. The car was speeding up the hill fast, and when it came into view, the kid didn't even have time to dodge before the vehicle had rammed into him, sending him flying into a tree. "Oh, shit, I hit him!" said the driver, a teenage blue-haired girl named Bulma. Then she noticed the boy had gotten up, completely unharmed. "He's alive!" she said in shock.
Goku didn't take kindly to being tossed around, and decided to do some tossing around of his own as payback to the beast (car). "Tryin' to steal my food, huh? Well you're too late!" he shouted, lifting the car into the air. "He's lifting the car!" Bulma yelled to herself. Goku hurled the car a few feet away, where it landed on its side. Out of its window came the head of the very scared Bulma, who was now brandishing a gun. "Take this, you monster!" she yelled, before pulling the trigger and shooting Goku in the head three times. But instead of dying, Goku simply fell over backward and held his head in pain. "Ow! What was that, some kinda magic?!"
"He's still alive! What's this kid made of?" Bulma asked herself, before Goku stood up and withdrew his Nyoibo. He pointed the pole at the girl threateningly and shouted "Prepare yourself, monster!" before charging forward. "W-wait, I'm not a monster!" Bulma said, dropping her gun and holding her hands up. "I'm a human! Like you!" she exclaimed, finally getting through to the boy, who lowered his guard. "..A human? Are you sure?" he asked as Bulma climbed out of her overturned car and planted her feet on the ground. "Of course, isn't it obvious?" she asked with a friendly smile.
"But you're all scrawny," said Goku after examining the girl's body. "That's because I'm a girl obviously," Bulma explained. "Oh, you're a girl? I remember hearin' about those from my grandpa," Goku recalled. "..Wait, you mean you've never seen a girl before now?!" Bulma asked in disbelief, and Goku nodded. "Yep, but my grandpa always told me to be nice to 'em if I met one," he told her. "So, I guess I should give you somethin' to eat. Come back to my place with me."
"Hold on a second," Bulma said, checking her Dragon Radar. When she saw that the Dragon Ball she was after was in the same direction, she agreed to go with the boy to his house.
After a few minutes of walking and introducing themselves, the pair made it to Goku's hut. Inside, Goku looked around for something to feed Bulma with. "..Hm.. I guess I don't have as much as I thought.." he said as Bulma leaned against the wall idly. "You know I'm not all that hungry, you don't have to feed me," she told him. "Yeah, but I destroyed your car thing right? So I should repay you," he reasoned, before getting an idea. "I know. I'll give you the best meal of all! I was gonna save it for myself, but you're a girl, so I'll be nice to ya and let you have it."
"Well, that's very nice of you, Goku, your grandpa taught you.." Bulma trailed off as she observed Goku getting on top of the table and pulling his pants down, mooning her. "What do you think you're doing, you little shit?!" she asked angrily while hiding her eyes. "That isn't funny!" she yelled.
"..Huh? Don't you wanna eat?" Goku asked with confusion.
Bulma looked just as confused. "..Excuse me?"
"I'm lettin' you have my poop. Don't ya want it?" Goku reiterated. "W-WHAT?" Bulma asked, not sure whether to feel insulted, disgusted, worried, angry, or... grateful? Ordinarily she would have thought this was a gross prank being played on her, but something about the way the boy carried himself told her he wasn't capable of that. "..Y-you mean you.. you eat poop?" she asked carefully, getting a weird look from the boy. "Course I do. Don't you?" he asked. "NO!" Bulma quickly replied. "Poop is disgusting! Normal people flush poop down the toilet, they don't eat it!" she tried in vain to explain. "What's a toilet?" Goku simply asked, getting a face-palm from Bulma. "Ugh, you have to be the most uncivilised person I've ever met!" she exclaimed.
"Well if you don't want it then I'll eat it," Goku said, before squatting down and taking a shit into his hand. Bulma just stood there and watched with wide eyes, rendered speechless by the spectacle. Goku lifted the poop to his face and greedily wolfed it down. Despite being utterly repulsed by what she was seeing, Bulma was morbidly curious. "..So Goku.. why do you eat poop?" she asked, almost afraid of the answer. Goku hopped off the table and looked at her, his mouth somewhat stained by feces. "Cause it makes me strong," he replied. "Whenever I eat it, I get a power boost for a while. That's why your car thing and that magic you used on me didn't hurt. I ate some bear poop before it happened, and got stronger."
Who does this kid think he's trying to fool? Bulma wondered. Eating poop gave him the power to survive a gunshot to the head? Gimme a break.
..But then again.. she thought, second guessing herself, I don't know how ELSE he would have survived it. And I guess I've never met someone who eats their own poop. Maybe it does make you stronger. How bizarre.
"Huh? My grandpa's glowing!" Goku exclaimed as he went and picked up an orange glass ball from the table. Bulma saw what he was referring to and went wide-eyed. "Ah! The Dragon Ball!" she said with surprise, running up to get a closer look at it. "Give it to.." she said, trailing off when she saw Goku holding it with his shit-stained hand. "Um, never mind, you keep hold of it."
"Why is my grandpa glowing? He's never done that before.." Goku dimly stated. "..Grandpa?" Bulma asked. "Yeah, this was my grandpa's last memento before he died. It's all that's left of him," Goku explained, Bulma beginning to understand. "Ah, I see. Well, it's called a Dragon Ball," she informed him, before pulling out her own Dragon Balls from inside her bag. "And there are seven of them." Goku was surprised. "Whoa, you have two!" he said in awe. "Yep, and if I gather all seven, I can make any wish I want come true!" Bulma explained happily. "For instance, having the perfect boyfriend, or an endless supply of chocolate. But I'll need your ball to do it. So I have an idea. Why don't you come with me on my quest to find the rest? You've got nothing better to do, right? And I could use your strength to protect me if I get into any danger."
"..Ya think if I went with you, I could get stronger like my grandpa?" Goku asked. "Of course!" Bulma replied. "Okay. I'll come with you, as long as you feed me your shit," Goku said, catching Bulma off-guard. "..W-w-what?" she stuttered. "If I go with you, you'll feed me your poop, right?" Goku reiterated.
..This kid doesn't know what he's asking.. but I guess I have to say yes.. Bulma thought nervously. "..Um.. sure, I-I guess so," she said sheepishly. "Great!" said Goku happily, before strolling out of the hut. "Come on, let's go on the adventure right now!"
Out on the path again, Bulma got into her capsule case and looked for number 9. "Since you wrecked my car, we're gonna need a new ride," she explained. She threw down the number 9 capsule, which 'BOM!'ed into a motorcycle for the two of them to ride on, baffling Goku. "What the! Is that more of your fancy magic?" he asked, suspicious of the vehicle. "No, it's called capsule technology. Everyone uses it," Bulma explained, mounting the motorcycle and starting its engine. "Come on, get on already," she invited him impatiently. Goku hesitantly boarded the strange vehicle, before Bulma drove them away on it. "Whoa! This thing goes fast!" Goku exclaimed in awe of the speed. "Hey! Don't grab my tits, what're you doing?!" Bulma hollerred over the sound of the engine.
Not quite used to the power of the motorcycle, Bulma went a bit too fast off of a hill and got a solid few feet of air before slamming onto the ground. "Oof!" Bulma said, reeling from the jolt. "Wow, that was fun! Hahaha!" Goku laughed, thoroughly enjoying himself. Jeez, almost shit myself. Gotta be more careful on this thing. Bulma thought, without realising the shadow coming over her.
"Well well, what do we have here?" a low, rough voice said, startling Bulma. A giant tiger beast stood in their way, wearing armour and standing on two legs. "Looks like I've found myself some humans," the tiger said to himself, licking his chops. Bulma tried to drive off the path to avoid him, but the beast kicked the motorcycle onto its side before they could get very far. Bulma and Goku screamed as they were flung from the motorbike and landed a good distance away.
Staggering to his feet, Goku pulled out his Nyoibo and faced the tiger. "I'll take care of this guy!" he said bravely as he charged forward. The tiger swung his claws at Goku, who dodged them swiftly enough. But when Goku missed a swing with his pole, the tiger saw his opportunity and punched the boy, sending him flying a few feet away. Quick to regain his footing, Goku aimed his pole at the beast and yelled "extend, Nyoibo!"
The pole extended its length, hitting the tiger in his stomach and pushing him back a fair distance. This gave Bulma the chance to inspect the damage to the motorcycle. "..Dammit, not again! The wheel is bent," she said in frustration.
"Bulma, I don't think I can beat this guy, I need a power boost!" Goku told her, making her cringe. "..I dunno, kid.." she said with trepidation. "Hurry! He's gettin' back up!" Goku exclaimed. Bulma sighed and reached for her panties. "Fine! But don't come crying to me!" she said as she pulled her panties down and revealed her asshole to Goku, who immediately placed his mouth right up against her rim. Oh my God this is so gross.. she thought as she pushed out a fat log into Goku's mouth. She continued pushing out more and more shit, surprising Goku with the amount. ..He's still going?! I thought he would have given up by now!
"Curse you, infernal runt!" the tiger beast said, now beginning to approach the pair again. "You're gonna pay for that!" he yelled, charging toward them. Goku gave up on swallowing all of Bulma's poop, and left her standing there awkwardly as she pushed out much, much more.
Goku threw down his Nyoibo and charged toward the tiger very quickly. "You ain't beatin' me now!" he yelled, before jumping and kicking the tiger in the face, knocking him back. "Why you little!" the tiger said, swinging his claws at the kid. But Goku caught the incoming arm and threw the tiger over his shoulder, slamming him onto the ground. The tiger tried to get up and fight back, but Goku grabbed him by the tail and flung him far away, the beast disappearing into the distance.
Goku returned to Bulma, who was still standing there, creating an enormous pile with her shit. "Whoa! Bulma, I ain't never met anybody that could poop that much!" Goku said in awe of the sheer amount, making Bulma blush deeply. "I know! That's why I didn't want to!" Bulma exclaimed with a whine, clearly embarrassed. "All my life I've produced so much shit that my dad had to invent a new kind of toilet just for me," she explained, before the constant supply of poop finally reached its end. "So my real wish on the Dragon Balls is gonna be to make me poop a normal amount like everyone else. It's ruining my life!"
"I think it's awesome!" Goku said excitedly. "I could get super strong eatin' all that! And your shit tastes amazin', too!" he complimented her. "It's not awesome," Bulma disagreed, taking a look at her own poop pile. "Ugh, and now I can't even wipe my ass! What am I gonna do?" she asked, seeming very stressed. Goku knew what to do, and rushed over. "Here, I can clean ya," he said, spreading Bulma's butt cheeks and beginning to lick her clean.
Bulma sighed in defeat. "Thanks, I guess. ..By the way, kid, how were you able to swallow so much of it?" she asked curiously. "You must be full to bursting right now." Goku finished cleaning her, walked over to the poop pile and began eating, much to Bulma's surprise. "Nah," he said in between bites. "I've always been able to eat a lot. Especially when the food is tasty," he said before digging in enthusiastically.
"..I see." ..It's like we were made for each other, Bulma thought to herself, before reaching into her capsule case. She was going to look for another vehicle, but realised that the sun was now setting. "..Maybe we should just camp out here for the night."
A girl who produces too much poop, and a boy who can't get enough of it. What will their next adventure on the path to the Dragon Balls bring? Find out next time.
It's Dragon Ball but every time Goku is too weak to win a fight he eats Bulma's shit from her asshole and gets a power-up. Cool idea huh? Bet you never thought of it.
This will probably get a few sequel chapters in the future, but who knows. Thanks for reading.
