Author's note: Chapter 7! This is basically an all crack shipping chapter! I decided to go with a meanwhile situation for this chapter. I felt it was the best for crack shipping hahaha. I hope you like it, this one may have a lot of WTF moments. By the way, the lyrics of the song belong to me!


Chapter 7: What the..?

Porlyusica sat in her chair with a nice cup of tea in her hands. She loved her alone time, she always loved the people at Fairy Tail, but she hated humans. She never was going to admit she cared for her guild's well being. She looked at her collection of Medicines and books. There were books everywhere; Tonight would be a perfect night to clean it all up and re-organize her books and re-organize her medicinal herbs collection.

Porlyusica looked at the small clock on her work space and realized it was around 8'o clock. She let out a slight yawn and got up from her chair, now seemed like a good time to clean up a little. But before she could even go to her desk; a knock on the door was heard. It made her jump slightly. Who could it be at this hour? Whoever it was, it better be a very good emergency.

"I really hate humans." Porlyusica muttered under her breath. She opened the door and made her angriest face she could.

"What the hell do you...want?!" she said in a startled tone. She looked down to the ground and couldn't believe what her eyes were showing her.

Standing way below her was Makarov. But he was dressed in an ugly tuxedo, his hair was groomed in a failed attempt to make it as if he had more hair, he had on a horrible smelling cologne and was carrying a bouquet of mixed flowers.

"I love you." he suddenly said. Porlyusica looked at him and then slammed the door right on the spot.

"What the hell?!" Porlyusica shrieked. That was a first, Makarov is usually lusting over some of the young women in the guild. She locked the door in her home as well as the windows. Great, now she lost all her energy. Porlyusica removed her cape, put her hair down and took her medicine before putting out the candle and beginning to fall asleep.

Just when she was about to fall asleep, she heard music; guitar music. It sounded Ukulale like... and horribly played. Porlyusica got out of her bed and walked over to the window and opened it. There, she found Makarov playing a ukulele terribly and looking at Porlyusica with a cheesy grin and a loving gaze. What made it worse was that what he was playing had lyrics too:

"Oh Porly, oh Porly how beautiful you are.

From your old wrinkly skin to your graying pink hair.

Oh Porly, oh Porly how smarth you are.

From your medicine making to your-"

CRASH! Before he could even finish the first verse, a vase landed straight on his head; Porlyusica slammed her window shut.

"Come on Porlyusica." Makarov pleaded "Please go out with me."

"Screw you!" Porlyusica screamed "Get out of my sight!"

"Just one dinner. I promise you won't regret it!" Porlyusica thought for a moment; was it going to be worth it? Or was he just going to lust after other women the whole time?

"Alright." she replied "This is your one chance though-"

"Woohoo!" Makarov cheered like a teenager who just asked out the hottest girl in High School "You won't regret this!" with that said; he left.

How did I get myself into this? Porlyusica asked herself I hate humans, yet I took his offer... Ugh, I really need to re-think things. She walked over to her bed and covered herself in her covers before finally falling asleep.


The Guild was closing around Ten at night, the only ones there were Max, Mira who was having a conversation with Laxus and Carla who was in a conversation with Wendy. Max looked around the Guild Hall before deciding to sneak away. He sneaked into the cleaning closet that was near the bar. The door creaked open and Max turned on the light.

"Excuse me?" he began "Are you in here?" No answer; the only one there was a broom.

"I saw you earlier today. And you haven't left my mind once." Max said to the broom; still no answer "Your the most beautiful broom I ever saw. I-I can never take my eyes off of you. I think I love you!" The broom stayed silent for a moment and didn't give an answer... well of course it wouldn't give an answer, it's a broom!

"Oh Broom!" Max squealed at the apparent response "Come here!" he grabbed the broom and kissed the tip of the handle. He grabbed the broom and put it into a dip and kissed it harder; just when he was about to dart his tongue out, he heard the door creak open. There, standing there in shock, was Carla.

"What the hell!?" she screamed.

"Um..." Max tried to say "I can explain..."

"How can you explain this!? Honestly, this is horrible!"

"What are you doing here?"

"Mira asked me to get the broom. She needs to sweep the bar area before the night ends. Now give me the broom before I freak out." Max sadly handed the broom over to Carla who used her Aera magic and flew out of the room with the broom.

Goodbye Broom. Max said to himself I'll see you soon my love!


Carla switched out of her Aera magic and began to walk to Mira with the broom in tow.

What in Edolas's name did I just witness?! Carla thought Things have been acting weird all day today. That Romeo boy just won't leave Wendy alone. And Lily and Happy just won't leave me alone... Carla suddenly stopped in her tracks; her eyes began to show signs of terror and fear:

"Lucy!" screamed Natsu. Lying on the ground in the streets of Magnolia was Lucy; and she wasn't breathing. Gajeel was holding an unmoving Levy in his arms and screaming for her to wake up. Juvia was leaning against a brick wall and barley breathing.

"Erza! Please!" Jellal screamed at a non breathing Erza. More visions of the women in The Guild lying dead in one of the men's arms or lying on the floor haunted Carla. One of those women was Wendy and her.

"Carla?" asked a voice.


Carla soon snapped out of her trance. What was all of that? Does it have to do with the men's weird behaviors? Carla shivered at those thoughts; they just wouldn't leave her mind now.

"Carla!" came the voice. Carla looked up and soon looked into the eyes of Mira "Oh my goodness! You look like you've seen a ghost!" She took the broom from Carla and picked her up "Let's get you some tea to calm you down."

Mira heated up a pot of water, got some tea leaves and stirred them before giving it to Carla. But as Carla drank her tea; she knew that no matter how many cups of tea she drank that night and tried to forget about it; she knew that she wasn't going to get a wink of sleep that night.


Next week: Love Triangle Chapter! Miraxus/Laxana