Summary : Rachel lost her husband and never once thought about love. She was busy with her four kids and lived with memory of her love, until she bumps into Santana. Santana is a self-made billionaire who'd been unlucky in love untilshe met Rachel.

"You know, she's been leaving you messages at least once a day," Blaine explained. "Why don't you at least talk to her on the phone."

"Because I am trying to forget her," she insisted.

"Well, is it working?" he asked.

"Not really, and it doesn't that he leaves me nice messages. It would probably be better if she said something that would make me mad at her, but she doesn't."

"I think she's really sincere about wanting to get to know you, why don't you give her a chance?"

"Blaine, you are not helping. I am scared to death of getting into another relationship, especially with what happened to Charlie. I don't think I want to love anyone again because I mught just end up losing them."

"It didn't make sense. You love me. You love your kids. why can't you love Santana?"

"Because you are my brother. My kids are my kids. she's not related to me, I can choose not to deal with her."

"Look at you. It's almost midnight and you're still up arguing with me about someone you don't want to deal with. The kids are in bed, you have an early day tomorrow and you can't sleep. Now tell me, doesn't that sound like you are having a little trouble trying not to deal with this woman."

"I don't want to go through anything like what I went through with Charles. It took me a while to get over losing him. What if things don't work out with Santana? What if I end up losing her in a wild car accident? I don't think I can handle it." She explained.

"Well, honey, you are not doing too well trying to forget this girl. It's going to eat you up inside if you don't confront whatever you are afraid of. I should be the one afraid of getting into a relationship. Remember my last one did not end up in a very good way. You didn't have a choice with the way yours ended. I think I could have prevented what happened to me if I would have listened to you and everybody else."

"You know that wasn't your fault. You probably did everything right. He just couldn't handle you being gone most of the time. Maybe you should think of getting a different job.

"And do what? I love my job Rach. You used to love doing the same job before you lost Charles. It was hard on the kids and on Charles that you would be gone a lot, but at least he dealt with it since he was a doctor and was being called to the hospital a lot too. You've made up the lost time with your kids and now you have a normal job that doesn't take you away from them often. Why don't you give yourself another chance? You deserve another stab at happiness. You've been working hard trying to keep your kids happy, when are you going to give yourself some happiness?"

"Oh, Blaine. I wish it were that easy. I don't feel like I deserve anything. I am afraid that I will be betraying Charles and the kids. i told you about my dream didn't I?"

"The way I look at it, I think Charlie was trying to tell you to move on." Rachel didn't want to accept her brother's interpretation. She didn't want to lay her heart out on the line again. But hard as she tried to forget Santana, she kept creeping up in her thoughts and in her dreams.

"I don't know. You'd better get to bed. I need to get to sleep too." She gave Blaine a hug and a kiss and left the couch where they'd been sitting for an hour or so talking about Santana's phone messages, and e-mails. All the lights were off except for the nightlight that glowed in the darkness of the night and the light of the moon that illuminated the rooms through the window.

She had been ignoring Santana's phone messages for almost a week and a half, but she still didn't give up. Santana had even left notes for Quinn to give to her, but Rachel had told Quinn she needed to get some time off to finish her book. She hadn't even seen Quinn but had to talked to her and Quinn told her about the notes.

The last encouter they had left her shaken. She couldn't forget the look in Santana's eyes whe she left that Friday after she bought Kurt, Penelope and Rachel herself a grand lnch. Her eyes were filled with intense passion. Something Rachel'd never seen before from anyone, not even her late husband. Rachel could not forget her smile as well.

Every time she closed her eyes she saw her smile. Every time she went to sleep she dreamt of her. Santana seemed to be everywhere and nothing she'd done had shaken her intense feelings for Santana: not even trying to ignore her phone calls or avoiding seeing her.

Rachel finally decided to call Quinn for a project. She was almost done with the book and she needed a little more distraction. Maybe working more and keeping busier than she already was would solve her problem. She called Quinn and left a message. She didn't think Santana would be there, but knew that Quinn would get the message when she got in first thing in the morning. She then decided to go to bed. She felt so tired trying to think of ways to avoid Santana and to get her out of her mind, she finally gave in to sleep.

Quinn called her early the next day. She indeed had an assignment for her. She'd been waiting to hear from Rachel for the past week and a half. Quinn respected her privacy when she asked for time off from her assignments, so she never called her to send her on an assignment, only to check on her and to inform her of the notes from Santana. She didn't call her for assignments until Rachel called her. Rachel was so happy to hear her voice.

Rachel was supposed to take a picture of downtown financial district. They were running a piece of growth of the financial district. They had old pictures that were taken about 30 years ago and they wanted the present day photographs for comparison. Rachel went downtown after dropping the twins off to school. She decided to park her car in the Union Square parking garage and decided to walk the rest of the way.

The fog was still a little low, but she decided to take some pictures with the fog and will wait a little until the fog lifted before taking her second sets of pictures. She decided to go shopping while she waited. She walked back to Union Square. She went inside fashion store and checked to see if they had a sale on children's clothes.

She wanted to prepare for summer. The twins had outgrown their shorts and shirts and so had Tony and Ally. They seemed to have grown two inches since winter. Ally definitely would not fit her clothes and she didn't really have the option of borrowing her mom's clothes since she'd grown taller than her.

Tony who stood 6 feet 3 inches have grown more muscles that made his old shorts tight. She wondered how her kids grew so fast. She was still amazed at how the little babies she used to hold in her arms were so much bigger than her. The twins had a long way to go yet, but they would probably be tall as well. She browsed through the children's clothes first.

The store was not really busy. There were hardly any people during the weekedays, which was what she preffered. She didn't like fighting to get through one department to another that was why she avoided Christmas shopping as much as she could. She spotted an outfit that she was sure they would like. The twins were both into jeans. They would love the blue jean shorts with a matching shirt. They had a boy version and a girl version. Sometimes it was difficult to shop for them because stores didn't always have a boy and girl version for an outfit and they were still at a stage where they wanted to dress exactly the same. Sometimes she just ended up buying boys clothes for Kaylen. For girls it didn't really matter if they wore boys' clithes or not since they look a like, but the boys didn't want to get caught wearing girls clothes.

She had to buy them, they were cute, practical and on sale. What mother can refuse that type of combination? She looked around some more and found two more pairs of shorts for the twins and a dress for Kaylen and some jeans for Jaylen. She went on to the juniors' section.

Ally was a little harder to buy clothes for, but she usually thought of the clothes she liked to borrow from her and go from there. After 30 minutes of walking around the juniors department she finally spotted an outfit she was sure Ally would like. She saw a khaki mini skirt with mini pockets on both sides and saw a baby blue knit shirt with "girl power" across the front. She absolutely adored those types of shirts, then she saw one that was just plain light maroon and thought she would get that instead. She saw more jeans shorts and a v-neck t-shirt to go with it.

Shopping had always gotten her mind off of problems that seemd to haunt her. It was thrapeutic for her, but bad for her financial outlook. She decided to walk into the men's department. She had to get something for Tony too, and since she was here she might as well look for something for Blaine.

The guys were easier to shop for. She would ust buy them one pair of jean shorts and a pair of the nylon shorts. She decided to get a couple of t-shirts for each of them and some extra shorts for Tony. She thought he needed the cotton print shorts for wearing around the house. With her arms full of clothing she walked towards the register. The cashier rang up her purchases and bagged them nicely.

After she walked out of the store and she realized that she was a bit hungry. She hadn't realized how long she took inside the store. She decided to drop her purchases off in the van along with her camera. She would only take some cash and walk up to the new Cafe near the parking lot. She had heard about it, but had not yet tried it.

There were two levels. The second level had a nice skylight that let the sun shine though. The first level was just extra space for dining, but the most interesting part was the entrance. It seemed to go through the garage space, go to the second level to order your food and either eat there, the first lever or take it to go. When she arrived, the place was not yet busy. She had arrived at the right time. She ordered her food and grabbed a small table at the corner of the room. She grabbed a newspaper to keep herself busy while she ate. She could not just sit and eat.

The place was getting brighter because the fog was starting to lift and a bit of sunshine was peering through. She decided to wait 10 more minutes before she would walk back to the garage and get her camera. The place was starting to get crowded and she felt guilty keeping the space when she was already finished eating. Besides, the din was not helping her with her reading. She was having a hard time blocking out other people's conversation, the noise in the kitchen, an occasional shout from the person behind the counter calling for people's order and giving the order to the cook. It was going crazy. There must be something wrong with her, she couldn't focus on the story she was reading. She decided to finally leave.

She picked up her garbage and dropped it off in the garbage on her way down. As she reached the bottom of the stairs to reach the first level, right in front of her in a table with a man and a women was Santana. Rachel looked straight at her and she looked straight at her. She wasn't wearing her usual working suit today. She was wearing a plain white t-shirt and blue jeans. She looked good on them, that didn't help her situation at all.

Rachel looked away and started walking faster towards the stairs that led down to the garage exit. Santana quickly wiped her mouth with her napkin and excused herself from the table. She went to the rails by the stairs and just as Rachel was about to reach the bottom of the stairs, Santana called out to her.

"Rachie!?" Rachel looked up and saw her face. She couldn't see Santana's eyes, but she could feel the anger and the hurt in the tone of her voice. "Please wait right there."

Rachel didn't know what to do. She felt like running away, but she felt immobilized. She knew she owed Santana some kind of explanation. But what would she say? She didn't really have a good excuse for ignoring her except that she didn't want to get hurt. She didn't even think of how Santana felt. Santana rushed down the stairs taking it two at a time. When she got to her, she didn't know whether to just take her into her arms or start yelling at her for not calling her back.

Santana stood there and stared at her for what seemed like forever. She looked into her eyes and saw conflict that seemed to be going on inside her. She finally decided not to yell, but instead she took her into her arms and held her tight.

Tears started to fill Rachel's eyes. She couldn't figure out why this woman she hardly knew was affecting her so. Her touch made her melt and electrified her at the same time. "Do you know what you've been putting me through?" Santana whispered. "I have been longing to touch you, even just to see you ever since you left my office."

"I'm sorry I haven't returned any of your calls," Rachel managed to whisper through the lump in her throat. Santana pulled away at arms lenght so that she could see her. She saw the tears filling her eyes and wiped them away with her thumb before the fell.

"I want to know why you've been avoiding me? I think I deserve that much. I have been going crazy trying to get a hold of you."

"I- am afraid." Rachel finally blurted out in a stutter.

"Afraid of what?"

"Afraid of everything that you make me feel!" she exclaimed. Santana was surprised, a little happy and confused. But she let her continue. "Afraid of the way I lose focus when I am near you. Afraid of how my knees become weak when I see your smile. Afraid, that if I give into my feelings that I would lose myself and do things I may even regret. But most of all, I am afraid that if I let things happen between us I will end up losing you."

Santana was definitely getting excited. She was glad that she was making her feel the same things she was doing to her, but aware of the strain the decision was causing her.

"I don't know if I can handle any of these feelings." Rachel decided to pull away and walk away from her, but Santana wasn't about to let her go again. She grabbed her and pulled Rachel to her.

"Don't you understand that's exactly what you are doing to me? I can't sleep without dreaming about you, I feel as if I can't breathe without you. You made such an impact on my being, I don't know if I can just let you walk away this time. Please stop being afraid."

The gentleness in Santana's tone was her undoing. Rachel knew that Santana was angry and hurt, but she was not showing those feelings while she spoke to her. Rachel knew that whatever Santana was feeling for her must be far greater than the anger and hurt she was sure she was feeling.

"I don't know." Rachel answered in a whisper. Santana couldn't resist anymore, she had to kiss her.

Santana kissed her as if her life depended on it, as if she needed her lips to breathe life back into her. She practically devoured her lips and she willingly participated. Rachel had never felt so much passion from anyone before. Santana had to stop herself before she lost control. The garage was not the best place to lose control. She held her instead.

"Now tell me you're afraid." Rachel couldn't. "Tell me you don't want this," Santana dared.

Rachel couldn't answer. She couldn't ignore her heart any longer. She couldn't ignore the feelings that kept growing each time she saw Santana. She couldn't ignore the linging or the emptiness she'd felt for a while now.

"Give me a chance." Rachel slowly nodded in resignation. She let her heart finally win over her head. "Will you have dinner with me tonight?" Santana asked.

"Can't tonight. What about tomorrow night?" Santana knew better than to ask her on a school night. Rachel can't leave the kids alone. "I'll ask Blaine to baby sit."

"I'll pick you up at around 6:30."

"Okay."

"Are you doing anything important right now?"

"Well, I am on assignment for Quinn. And don't you have people upstairs waiting for you?" Santana just realized she left her siblings upstairs. she seemed to forget a lot of responsibilities when she's around Rachel. She wanted to bring her upstairs to introduce her to her siblings, but she decided against it. She had probably put Rachel through enough emotional stress for one day.

Although she was not ready to let her go, she knew she had to get back to her siblings and she knew that she had to let her go do her job and to continue to deal with her other responsibilities. With that realization, she kissed her again. This time the intensity was greater than the first. Santana wanted to make sure Rachel remembered her kiss and she wanted to make sure she had enough of her to get her going until she saw her again. Santana was addicted to her smile and her presence before, but now she just became addicted to her kisses.

Rachel was kissing her back with all the passion she had been keeping inside her. She liked kissing Santana. She was enjoying her taste. She felt a tingling sensation from her head to her toe and she reveled in all those feelings. They finally stopped and stood there holding each other out of breath and weak at the knees. "I'd better go," Rachel whispered out of breath.

"Okay, I'll call you later."

"Okay," she said as she started to walk away. Santana held on until the last fingertips then walked back upstairs with a huge smile.

A/N: Thanks for the review. I hope you enjoyed this chapter. Hope I got all the tenses fixed. Sometimes I miss things when I am re-reading.