Title: So Damn Beautiful
Author: fading_tales
Pairing: Chuck/Blair/Carter
Disclaimer: I do not own Gossip Girl or any characters, they belong to the CW and Cecily von Ziegesar.
Rating: PG-13 ~ T
Summary: Because Chuck and Blair are nothing if not dramatic. Because I Love You's don't equal to a Happily Ever After. Because she's so damn beautiful. Because he wants it all. Future fic.
A/N: Sorry for the long wait! I've been finding it a bit difficult to write lately. I have a story planned out and the ending is actually already written, but it's the parts in between that don't seem to want to flow. Anyhow, I appreciate everyone who is sticking it with me through all of this and I hope you enjoy the story!!
Chapter Seven
Serena comes through the door with her sunshiny hair, bright smile on her face and oblivious to the emotional showdown that just went down in the dining room.
"Blair, I'm back!" Serena calls out as she makes her way from the hallway and into the main area of the suite. "So, I passed by that French bakery on 5th on the way home and I decided that we working gals deserved a treat. I brought back some of your favorite macaroons!"
Serena drops off her coat on the kitchen island and makes her way through the doorway that leads to the dining room.
"Hey, Blair? Did you hear me? I said I got you some of your fav-" Serena's sentence trails off as she caught the sight of her friend on the floor. "Oh, B. What happened?"
Serena immediately notes the tell-tale wet streaks down her best friend's face that could only mean that she had recently been crying. Blair doesn't look up from the chaos of broken porcelain and strewn flowers that have most definitely ruined the rug. Blair doesn't answer her inquiries and so Serena sets herself to the task of cleaning up the mess. She goes about sweeping up the porcelain for a while before Blair finds her voice again.
"... where'd this come from?" Blair asks as Serena tries to pick up all bits and pieces of the scattered flowers.
"What?"
"This." Blair gestures with particularly large piece of broken porcelain. "Where did this come from?"
"The vase? I got it from Eric when I went to go visit him a few weeks ago. Is something wrong?"
"No… it's nothing," she lies.
"Don't give me that. I know you, Blair. Talk to me."
Blair gazes up to Serena with glassy eyes and throws herself at the blonde with the open arms and the caring gaze.
Blair explains about the vase and Chuck and Carter and just about everything is spilling forth as if once she's turned on the tap it won't stop flowing. Serena feeds her macaroons and holds her through it all.
"I didn't want him to hate me. If I stayed and said yes we would've become miserable. Just another divorce waiting to happen. I just don't think I could have handled that."
"Wait…Let me get this straight. You broke up with him so that you wouldn't break up later on? So, you thought abandoning him, refusing to speak to him and running off to Europe with Carter Baizen was the best way to go?"
"Well, of course it'll sound stupid when you say it like that," Blair retorts.
"Well…How else can you possibly say it?"
Blair shoots her a glare.
"It can't always be rainbows and butterflies*, Blair."
Speaking of butterflies, they were doing all sorts of horrid things to her stomach as of late. PETA would probably put her on top of their hate list if they only knew the kinds of murderous thoughts she had towards those fluttering beloved god's creatures.
"You can't keep running away, B. You're going to have to face him sometime and rather than procrastinate, I say you just go and get it over with already. It can't be any worse than it already is anyhow. You need to set it straight. "
"I messed up, S. I really messed up."
"It's all gonna be okay, B. I know him. I know you. It's all going to work out somehow," Serena soothes.
"No, it's not. He has trust issues a thousand miles long and I don't think I've done anything to shorten that length. And I don't even know if I'm even ready to start again. And then there's Carter and its all just so complicated. This isn't something that can be fixed easily."
"That might be true, but that doesn't mean it's impossible. Anything's possible! You just need to face it is all," Serena chirps.
Blair sighs theatrically. "Why are you always so damn optimistic?"
Serena smiles and rolls her eyes at Blair's defiant petulance. "One of us has to be."
"This is all coming from the girl who's still pining after the golden boy and not making a move."
Serena flinches at the implication of her and Nate. It's been years since her betrayal and while Blair has long since moved on, Serena still feels the shards of guilt pierce her heart from the reminder.
"I don't know what you're talking about."
"I've seen you two oogling each other the entire time I've been here."
"We're friends! And besides, he has that old Columbian classmate of his that he's been seeing."
"Oh please. I've seen the little chit when I bumped into him at the Spring Awakening showing. She has nothing on you."
"Blair… that's not very nice," Serena chides.
"Well, it's true. You can't be preaching to me about facing my problems when you're still lurking in the shadows."
"I'm not lurking!"
"At least you're not doing it very well. It must be hard to lurk with that shiny yellow hair of yours."
Serena answers by smooshing a macaroon into Blair's hair.
"S!" Blair shrieks.
The two laughingly crumble the rest of the bakery goods into each others' face and hair.
"Look at what you did. I just cleaned that floor!" Serena exclaims with a bright smile on her face.
"You're the one that started it," Blair points out.
"Come on, let's get cleaned up," Serena states as she pulls Blair up off the floor.
"S?"
"Yeah, B?"
"I love you, you know that right?"
"Yeah. I love you, too," Serena replies easily.
Serena never needed to be tricked, cajoled or coerced to say those three little words. Blair has always shared something special with the blonde bombshell standing beside her. They were each other's anchor in a world often rocked by violent storms. Unlike most of her romantic relationships, Blair's friendship with Serena has grown constant throughout the years. Blooming under their growing maturity and trust. Petty little rivalries fell to the wayside and were replaced with a sense of security and mutual affection. Girl friends have to watch each other's backs after all.
"Who needs boys when I got you?" Blair declares.
"I was thinking the exact same thing," Serena agrees.
xoxo
It's another evening with another social function to go to. Tonight is yet another fashion industry party. He doesn't know why he keeps attending them.
He's running a little late and impatiently taps his foot against the marble tiling as he waits for the elevator. Finally it comes and the door opens to reveal none other than Blair Waldorf herself dressed in a sexy little black cut-out number. They stare at each other with wide eyes for a moment, like deer caught in the headlights. He waits for the collision to happen, but it doesn't. It's just awkward silence. Maybe that's worse.
He's gone through such lengths trying to pin down Blair Waldorf, but now that he's finally got her where he wanted her, he's not sure what he's supposed to do.
"Hey."
He used to be known for his wit, this is what she has reduced him to.
"Hi," she answers tentatively.
The elevator dings annoyingly because he's standing there like a moron blocking the door from closing. Belatedly he takes a decisive step in and let the door close shut behind him.
"Fancy meeting you here," he says casually. He's aiming for the cool, nonchalant look and hopes she doesn't hear his heart pounding away in his chest.
"Yeah… Serena wanted me to get out of the office," she says. "I needed to get Waldorf Designs some publicity anyways. Apparently, this party is the solution to both problems..." she says with an eye roll. "How do I look?"
She gestures towards the dress she's wearing, but he can't take his eyes off her face.
'Beautiful, gorgeous, breathtaking, I'd fuck you right here, right now if only I wasn't so stubborn and you weren't the bitch who broke my heart into a million little pieces,' he thinks.
"It's not usually my type of dress, but Serena forced it on me," she rambles on, not meeting his gaze; he still can't take his eyes off of her. "I don't know what I was thinking listening to her," she says, fiddling with the hem, smoothing and re-smoothing the skirt part of the dress.
She's rambling and it would all be very funny if he's not thinking about kissing her and strangling her to death at the same time.
After all her fidgeting he finally allows himself a glance towards the dress in question. It is a bit edgier than Blair's usual style, he admits. But like everything Blair does, she does it well and the dress works on her.
"Stop fussing. You're hot and you know it, so stop pretending otherwise," He says, while trying to focus his sights on the elevator numbers instead of the little brunette by his side.
He had said it in a condescending tone, but she recognizes a Bass compliment when she hears one. It makes her smile a small smile. He catches it at the corner of his eye. They both watch as the numbers of floors increase.
"Where's Carter?"
"… He'll be at the party."
"I see."
"Where's your date? It's odd to see you without a girl or two on your arms. Has Chuck Bass been finally rejected by the girls of Manhattan?" She's trying to go for a light teasing tone, but it doesn't come out quite right. It sounds awkward to her ears even as she says it.
"Oh, don't you worry about me. I have a meeting with petite blonde later this evening."
He means his one of PIs, but she doesn't have to know that. Despite his façade of playboy extraordinaire, he hasn't actually shared the company of bed with anyone for quite sometime now. It's almost a little too pathetic and he hates her for having this effect on him.
"Of course. Chuck Bass never needs to worry about the supply of females ready to throw themselves at him." She says it in a teasing voice, but her eyes can't complete shield the hurt, the betrayal. Not that she has any right to feel those things when she made the ultimate betrayal of all.
He lets her thinks what she wants her to think and thus silence ensues. He regrets it immediately.
He struggles for something to say, something to diffuse the awkward silence that has begin to stretch on to, what seems like at the time, an eternity.
"What do you think of the weather?"
The rapid heartbeat must be doing something to his brain because this is the second time he's put his foot in his mouth. He's starting to feel a little irritated that she's leaving him to do the talking. Instead she just stands there, giving him an amused look, signature arched brow included.
It was strange to exchange these silly little pleasantries as if they were strangers. They're talking of nothing that really matter, ignoring the giant elephant in the room that is their messed up relationship. He lets it continue this way because if so he can forget that they're not Chuck and Blair anymore. As if their history didn't rival that of Cleopatra and Mark Antony. He hopes it won't end the same way, but right now he's not sure if he loves her or hates her. What is that they said about fine lines?
"A little chilly…" she finally answers.
He's completely off his game tonight, but she can't blame him. She's feeling a little tongue-tied herself.
"I hear it should get warmer next week," he adds defiantly. Because if Chuck Bass decided that he wanted to talk about the weather, then the hell with it, he's going to talk about the weather!
He then continues to ramble on about said weather and how global warming is supposedly making New York winters unnaturally short and so on.
She would think this all terribly funny if only he wasn't giving her that sidelong look that told her that while he hasn't made up his mind whether he hates her guts or not, he's imagining throwing her against the elevator wall and having his way with her. It's a look she's used to receiving being A) as he put it, "hot" and B) a bitch. It's also a look he's used to giving because he's A) Chuck Bass and B) … well, part A really says it all.
When the elevator doors open they reveal an UES party in full swing.
Champagne flowing, music blaring, beautiful people mingling and making scantily veiled insults to one another. All these things seem to stop and turn to the sight of the infamous couple in the elevator. This is the first time they've been spotted together in the last two and half years. Once again, the familiar clicks of cameras fill the room.
He seriously needs a drink.
He turns to her and for the first time in a long while, they meet each other's eyes and don't break away. Her eyes are chasms. They speak of more sorrow than someone her age should know. He wonders if his are the same.
'Maybe it's time for a new beginning. Maybe I won't be a stubborn ass for once and she won't be the bitch she usually is,' he thinks.
As if fate was answering his unspoken question, Blair breaks his gaze, turns around and walks off in the opposite direction.
You can't take the bitch out of Blair Waldorf just like how you can't stop Chuck Bass from being a stubborn ass. Because if he wasn't he would have grabbed her arm as she was pulling away, like he was currently imagining. He would have dragged them away from this stupid party and find a nice secluded place to kiss her senselessly and thoroughly, making her thus susceptible to his will and he would never let her out of his sight again. But like mentioned before, she's the kind of the bitch that walks away and he's the stubborn ass that lets her.
He was stupid to think that things will miraculously resolve itself.
An elevator ride takes only five minutes. It's not enough time to get past those awkward silences and forced small talk. Not enough time to bridge the gap that they've created. Not enough time to bring back Chuck and Blair.
xoxo
Carter has done many horrible things in his life. He's lied and swindled and stole. It was always a stranger that got hurt, suffered from the mess he created. He never cared about the victims of his cons. After all, if they were dumb enough to be manipulated, to be cheated, then they deserved it didn't they? For the first time in his life, Carter seriously hates himself for what he's done. But the cost of doing nothing outweighs the cost of his sin.
It was an act of desperation he tells himself. It was the sight of them together. It struck him for the first time how much they seemed to fit so perfectly. Hell, they even matched. Her black cut out dress and his all black tuxedo, her red lipstick matching the exact shade of his pocket handkerchief. They looked like they just came out of a fucking motion picture.
What hit him the hardest was when they stepped out of the elevator and the press cameras started clicking away. Despite the chaos, there they were, just standing there and looking at each other as if no one else was in the room. It was the kind of look that inspired Paris to steal Helen and launch the Trojan War. He's never seen that look on her face before.
Maybe Chuck was right. They were inevitable and who was he, but an obstacle in the way of the epic story of Chuck and Blair. He'd just about to give up all hope when she breaks the intense staring contest and turns around and walks away. If he was anyone else he'd feel sorry for the poor guy. Blair Waldorf was a master at breaking hearts.
He catches her eyes and she mouths an apology, but doesn't take a step closer than ten feet. Blair spends the rest of the evening schmoozing with the best of the fashion world.
He calls Eleanor the next morning.
He tells her that Blair's been having problems back here in New York, particularly with a certain Chuck Bass; this much isn't too big a stretch.
This catches Eleanor's attention immediately. 'Toleration' was one thing. 'Like' was another. Eleanor has always been known to vilify Chuck Bass. Her recent loss hasn't been much helping the matter.
Carter spins stories of Bass's harassment of Blair and the endless problems she's also been dealing with at work. He implies that Blair has been bending under pressure and someone needs to take Waldorf Designs off her hands. This isn't the first time Carter has twisted words to fit his malicious agendas. It's all almost too easy. Eleanor eats it all up and books a flight immediately.
It's a low blow, even for him, but he needs something to distract Blair from the possibility of reconciliation with Chuck which seems increasingly possible. Blair's mother issues are well known and he's possibly the biggest asshole ever to use this as leverage against his losing battle for her heart, but like he's told Bass, he wants her any way he can have her, even if that means from circumstances of his own orchestration.
