Jade's bedroom was dark. An eclectic collection of lamps were scattered around the room, but all were off. Most of the things were neutral colors, with red thrown in to enhance the traditionally gothic atmosphere. Dead butterflies were arranged in picture frames. A few candles sat in the corners of the room. The collection of lights were all turned off and the sole window was covered by black curtains.
A computer monitor was the only source of light in the room. It flickered on Jade's face as she watched her movie again. She had been watching the movie over and over, trying to lift the guilt she felt about Beck and the uncertainty she felt about Tori. There was something in her heart she knew she couldn't keep down, but how could she express it. Jade looked at the icons on her PearBook and the answer became clear.
Jade opened the e-mail on her computer. Leaving the "Send To" line blank, she began to type.
Subject: The Movie
Compose Message:
Tori,
I've been wanting to talk to you about the movie. I know we talked about it with Lane already, but I wanted to talk to you alone. This is important to me. I wanted to tell you in person, but I can't keep myself quiet for that long. I trust you.
You may think that changing Mara to like Jill was only there because Jill was the only other female character. If you think that, you're wrong. Mara really liked Jill for Jill's personality. It was so bright it sparkled like silver. Every day, when Mara saw Jill, her heart would race. Mara tried to deny it because it would become troublesome, but the more Mara interacted with Jill, the more she fell in love. Eventually, she had to break free and do something, anything, to show her feelings.
By Mara, I mean me.
And by Jill, I mean you.
I guess there's nothing else to say. I like you. I like you a lot. I like you far more than I should.
I didn't always like you. When we first met I saw you as a threat, but after you took the detention and cleaning up the food fight when I should have been cleaning it, I began to hate you a little bit less. When you helped me fund Well Wishes and then got everybody to help me keep Mrs. Lee away from the theater, I hated you even less. Every time you did something nice for me, a little more hate was replaced with something I don't want to admit. By the time we played Walter and Nancy, the hate was completely gone.
I made the change to get my feelings out. The feeling that's built up so much I want to know if it's worth having.
So now you know.
And being informed is half of the fight.
From,
Jade
Writing the message felt good. She poured every emotion she could into it. After reading the message over, she noticed something was missing. She held the enter key down until there was a large gap under her name. Then she wrote again.
Jade West loves Tori Vega
I LOVE TORI VEGA
With heavy keystrokes, Jade typed the last line four more times. Emotion began to take over. Jade pulled her hands away from the keyboard and read the whole message. Worries entered Jade's mind. She wasn't sure if she wanted to send it. On one hand, she wanted to know if Tori felt the same way, but on the other hand, somebody might find out. Again, Jade found herself trapped between emotions and social appearance, happiness and status, truth and acting.
A knock on her door interrupted her thoughts.
Jade turned around in the chair. "Go away, mom. I'm doing homework." Jade minimized the e-mail.
A familiar giggle came through the door. "I'm not your mom!"
"Cat!" Jade jumped out of her chair and yanked open the door. "What are you doing here?"
Cat hugged her purple giraffe, Mr. Purples. "Well, my Nona has to babysit overnight and I don't wanna sleep on my own, so I thought, 'Why don't I stay at Jade's house?' So I'm here now!" With her large eyes and slightly downturned mouth, Cat looked like a guilty puppy.
Jade's stoic expression hid her reaction to Cat's puppy eyes, but it slipped out in her vocal tone. "Come in."
Cat pulled a striped, pink, wheeled bag into Jade's room. The wheels clattered on Jade's floor as she pulled it.
"Wait." Jade's voice made Cat freeze in terror. "How did you get in my house?"
"Magic." Cat started to move again.
"Really?" Jade shook her head.
"No!" Cat propped her bag against Jade's bed. "Your mom let me in. You didn't hear me ring the doorbell?"
Jade's look of disbelief turned to one of remembering vague scenes. "Oh, right. I heard something, but I didn't think it was you. Mrs. West has a lot of house guests some days. I thought you were just another one of them."
Cat thought about a few of the snobby, stuck-up people Mrs. West, Jade's stepmother, had had over. "Well, none of them have red hair."
"Right." Jade smiled. Cat always knew how to make her feel better.
Jade and Cat began to set up their impromptu sleepover. While Cat went to the bathroom to change into her pajamas, Jade took a pillow from her bed, a quilt from a drawer, and pushed a couple chairs together to make a rough, but effective bed. Jade made up her normal bed so Cat would be more comfortable.
Cat came back into Jade's bedroom, wearing the pink candy-patterned onesie she had worn when everybody tried to ride a giant cupcake in a parade and got stuck on the bad side of town. She wasn't affected by the dark memories. Jade picked up her own pajamas when she saw Cat come back in.
Cat stood in the doorway. "Can I use your computer? I need to check my e-mail."
"Yea, but log out of my stuff first." Jade pushed past Cat.
"Okay!" Cat's voice was cheerful, as usual.
Jade shut the bathroom door behind her. As she changed from her day clothes into black pajamas, she thought about the past week. Cat had certainly been more cheerful than she was throughout the whole week, but both the girls' weeks had gotten better. Making one change to the movie and explaining why she had done it had lifted a huge weight off her shoulders. She could trust Tori, Beck, and Lane to keep her secret. Writing the e-mail to Tori helped, even if Tori would never be able to read it. Jade buttoned up her pajama shirt and looked in the mirror.
"You did a good thing, Jade." She brushed some hair out of her eyes before opening the bathroom door.
When Jade came back to her bedroom, she found Cat sitting at her computer.
Cat exited out of the web browser. "Thanks for letting me check that. I get updates on the location of Cat Valentine every five minutes."
"But you're Cat Valentine..." Jade tried to think if she'd heard of any other Cat Valentines.
"I know!" Cat smiled as she bounced out of her chair. "The GPS person-finder thingy they use always gets my location wrong. According to them, I'm somewhere east of Vermont!"
"Well, maybe your brain is." Jade crossed her arms.
"What's that supposed to mean?" Cat looked down, frowning.
Jade put her hand on the redhead's shoulder. "I was kidding, Cat." A yawn escaped her lips. "Maybe we should go to bed now. We've got school in the morning."
The two girls laid down in their respective beds. Jade rolled over, staring at the patterned walls.
"Goodnight, Jade."
"Night, Cat" Jade turned out the lights.
A silence fell. Jade stared at the wall, attempting to trace the curvy patterns with her eyes. It was a pointless endeavor, but it had helped her get to sleep before, and it was far more mature and dignified than counting sheep. She found the repetition of the patters relaxing. It often put her into a more creative state of mind. The walls were her security blanket, and within them, she was always safe. It had been between these four walls when she wrote her plays. In these rooms, she had paced the floor thinking of the perfect demise for a character. Yesterday, these walls had given her comfort as she made the changes to Steel Your Heart. Jade let out a soft sigh, knowing the result of that action. Tomorrow, she was sure, little would have changed. Only three people would know anything different about her.
"Oh!" Cat's voice pulled Jade from her thoughts.
Jade flipped over to face Cat. "What's wrong?"
Cat sat up. "You know the e-mail you wrote to Tori?"
"Yes..." Jade wondered where the perky girl was taking this.
"I sent it."
"You couldn't have. There wasn't an address."
"So I put it in."
Jade desperately hoped Cat couldn't see the mix of shock and fear in her eyes. "Why would you do something like that? Ask me before you send my stuff to people!"
"Sorry." Cat mumbled, clearly two seconds away from sleep. "But maybe she didn't get it. It could have bounced back or something."
"Right... You know, it could have bounced back. Tori will never even know that e-mail existed."
As Jade fell asleep, one phrase rang in her mind.
"Tori won't get the message... I hope..."
Author's Notes: This is about the point where you should start paying attention to details. I hid an important plot point int here. If you don't see it, don't worry, it'll be explained later.
Writing Tracker:
I combined several chapters this week, so this is why the chapter count is lower.
Chapter Being Written: Chapter 9
Last Chapter Planned Out: Chapter 24
