9:15

He walks into my room, and stops short. He makes a strangling noise, that alerts gran and gramps he's 's panting, his lungs are working hard, as if he'd run a marathon. I can smell his sweat, that's like a scent I would bottle up and wear, and the saltness in his tears. His eyes puffy and red.

Gran and gramps look at him, getting up. They walk towards him, and stand in front of him.

"We'll leave you alone with her," gran says. All Adrian does is nod and look at my body. He walks over to the chair where gramps had just been in, and sits, more like slumps. I sit across from him, I close my eyes, then open them; his eyes are closed. He covers his face with his hands and takes deep breaths to steady himself. After a minute or so, he drops his hands into his lap. "Just listen," he says with a voice that sounds like shrapnel.

My eyes are wide open now, I sit up straight, and I listen.

"Stay." With that one word, Adrian's voice catches but he swallows the emotion and pushes forward. "There's no word to what happened to you. There's no good side of it. But there is something to live for. And I'm not talking about me. It's just... I don't know. Maybe I'm talking shit. I know I'm in shock. I know I havent digested what happened to your parents, to Mason..." When he says Mason, his voice cracks and an avalanche of tears tumble down his face. And I think: I love you.

"All I can think about is how fucked up it would be for your life to end here, now. I mean, I know your life is fucked up no matter what now, forever. And I know I can't undo that, no one can. If you stay I'll do whatever you want. I was talking to Lissa, she said how difficult it might be to go back to your old life... I'll go with you wherever you want to, I'll stay away too. Just stay."

Then it is Adrian that lets go. His sobs burst like fists pounding against tender flesh.

I close my eyes. I can't watch this. I cover my ears. I can't hear this.

And then it's not Adrian I'm hearing. Its a soft, stroke of a key. He's placed headphones over my ears playing an early Mozart composition.

I want to cry. And I want to hug him.

He holds my hand.

.

.

.

"Play for me," he whispers in my ear. I frown, not sure I want to.

"Please," he pleads.

"Yes, Rose. Play for us," Sonya urges me, winking at me. I roll my eyes at her. Its early January, and we're inside my house. Adrian and I are sitting next to each other next to my piano. I feel insecure about playing in front of others.

"Its just family," my dad says. I look at him, and I know he's trying to make up for what happened with Dimitri. His name is now easier to say in my mind and out loud. I haven't played the piano since his funeral.

I stare into Adrian's green eyes. And I find myself getting lost. Instinctively I reach out to trace his lips, a small smile on my own lips. Then I look down at the white and black keys, and stroke the first key.

Playing Debussy's Clair De lune.

All the time I stare into his emerald green eyes.

After I finish everyone applauds, everyone but him. He just looks at me, leans down and kisses me. A kiss I savor.

.

.

.

9:30

I love him. He was the light in my darkness. He showed me, in such a short amount of time, to love again. To be happy. To smile. To laugh. To play.

And as the song keeps on playing I see my life if I stay.

I visit a cemetery. Three graves stones in front of me.

I lay next to Adrian, my head in his chest.

I hear people say the word "orphan" and realize they're talking about me.

I am sitting next to Mason watching our favorite movie.

I hug Dimitri and whisper ,"I love you."

I am sitting in front of my piano, Mom and Dad behind me.

And I see Adrian and I holding hands.

And as I am about to get up from my chair a shadow catches my eye.

Because right behind Adrian, Dimitri is standing there, looking right at me.