To start on the same note as my chapter: I'm sorry :( I promised this chapter would be awesome, but instead you'll just find something dull in which nothing much actually happens. There is a solid reason for it. What I've posted now is just half or even less than it was intended to be. Since this introductory part came out so long, I decided to break the chapter, like I did with the previous ones. So now the precious scene between Seiya and Mamoru will have to wait for chapter 8, along with a dramatic cliffhanger.
I'd like to clarify one thing: Seiya is in his male body, like we know him from the anime. But I use a feminine pronoun when it comes to the character, because she is in fact a woman in her soul. I'll use the masculine when it comes to her being perceived by the characters she interacts with. And hopefully, I won't mess up too much beteen the two genders.
*facepalm* I can't believe I forgot to say a huge thank you to Diantha Glitter for beta reading a great part of this chapter :)
Disclaimer: I don't own anything, except for the idea.
Chapter 7 – Pieces of Memory
Seiya also felt sorry.
Seiya felt sorry for Usagi. Tears filled her eyes as she watched her lying in that hospital bed. She had never imagined that Odango could look so vulnerable, so small, so helpless... Her golden hair was no longer styled into those odango-s which she loved so much. It was the first time she saw her like that and despite her state, she looked more beautiful than ever, she was as beautiful as an angel. She fought hard to keep her tears from falling.
Seiya also felt sorry for Mamoru. She had imagined that Mamoru was probably keeping a close eye on her, examining her every move, so she tried avoiding looking his way. But when she finally turned, she noticed Mamoru was back in the position she found him in when she entered the room: kneeling, holding tight to Usagi's hand.
Mamoru knew that Seiya wasn't yet aware of all the details of what happened, so he wouldn't know how deep the meaning of his apology would be. But still, he apologized to Seiya, to Usagi, to himself. He wished he could forget what happened, he wished he could lie to himself like he was told to lie to everyone else, but the memory of the accident was still burning inside his head. He still hoped that everything was just a nightmare and someone would wake him up. Just as he was about to give in to his despair, Mamoru felt a hand on his shoulder. He turned around to see Seiya, whose eyes looked at him with pitty.
"We need to talk" Seiya told Mamoru in a voice which betrayed the fact that he was fighting to keep his tears back.
* * *
It took a while before the girls managed to convince Mamoru to leave Usagi's side for a few hours, but eventually he had to admit that a hospital room or even a hospital waiting room weren't the best place in which him and Seiya could have the much-needed conversation so he accepted to return to his apartment with the young Starlight. Setsuna drove them there and remained with the two men, as Mamoru asked for her assistance.
The three senshi were now sitting down into Mamoru's living-room, quietly, looking at each other, until Seiya decided to be the first to speak.
"How did this happen? How did she end up like that? Why did you call me here, Mamoru-san?" She realized he asked too many questions at once, but she couldn't help it, she had been waiting for a chance to ask them ever since she left from Uranus.
Mamoru nodded towards Setsuna and the time guardian stood up from her armchair. She extended her hands and her talisman, the Garnet Orb, appeared.
"Sei...Fighter..."
"It's Seiya. My name really is Seiya" she interrupted Setsuna, guessing that she was probably not sure if that name wasn't just a fake one she used while she accomplished her mission on Earth. Seiya, Taiki and Yaten were their real names, though since they started serving their Princess, everyone only addressed them as Fighter, Maker and Healer. Even between themselves they rarely used these names any more but they thought they would be appropriate to use when they arrived on Earth, even if they used them as surnames instead of given names, like they really were.
Setsuna smiled and resumed her speech. "Seiya, how much do you know about Usagi and specially about Usagi and Mamoru?"
Seiya thought for a while and then spoke: "Not too much. I know that Usagi is Sailor Moon and that she is also a Princess, because I have heard you guys addressing her like that. I also know that Mamoru is her boyfriend whom she loves very much, that he went to America to study but became Galaxia's target because apearently he is also a senshi, the one protecting this planet." Seiya didn't notice the tear that ran down Mamoru's face when she mentioned the love that Usagi felt for him.
"Seiya, in order to fully understand what happened to Usagi and why you were called here, you need to know more." As she spoke, her Garnet Orb began shining brightly, until its purple light completely filled the room. Seiya closed his eyes to adapt to the bright light but when he opened them he noticed that the three of them were no longer in Mamoru's apartment, but were standing in a location which he didn't recognize.
"Where are we?" he asked.
"The past. This is the Moon Kingdom, Silver Millenium. Usagi is Princess Serenity, the one that was supposed to inherit the throne along with the Silver Crystal and the sacred duty of protecting the Earth..." Setsuna started her story in a monotonous emotionless voice.
"... the Earth which had a second guardian, watching the planet from inside, from the sacred land of the Golden Kingdom Elysion...myself, Prince Endymion." Mamoru continued.
Seiya watched as many scenes rapidly took place before their eyes: Serenity and Endymion meeting, laughing together, kissing each other, being happy. Setsuna explained how their love was forbidden by the laws of both planets but, regardless, the two of them lived their love story in secret. Then Seiya witnessed that dreadful day when the Dark Kingdom destroyed the Moon Kingdom and when Serenity and Endymion lost their lives and were sent to Earth by Queen Serenity's last wish.
"They loved each other even in their past lives. A love so strong that it transcended time..." Seiya thought. "Why are they showing me this? What difference does it make that I know all of this?"
Setsuna's Orb flashed again and the setting changed. Seiya now recognized their surroundings as nowadays Tokyo and just next to him a very enraged Usagi was yelling at Mamoru, who seemed to be making fun of her. She was intrigued by that and wished she could hear what they were saying to each other but in a flash other images replaced that one and Seiya witnessed Usagi's first transformation as Sailor Moon and Mamoru's first painful and involuntary transformation as Tuxedo Mask. When she saw Sailor Moon's first fight with an enemy and Tuxedo Mask's intervention, Seiya finally understood why Usagi had been so moved by that red rose she decided to use that day to distract the enemy.
"A red rose..."
Seiya was rather surprised by what she was seeing. Even if she couldn't hear anything and all the scenes flew by so fast, she found it obvious that Usagi and Mamoru didn't get along well at all until they remembered their past lives. She would have made a comment about it but decided to wait and see everything there was to see.
When the scenes arrived at the time Mamoru left for America, another bright flash of light from the orb blinded Seiya for a few moments. She opened her eyes to see something different, a still image of a palace which seemed to be made out of crystal. In front of it, she recognized Usagi and Mamoru, dressed in a very solemn way, holding a small girl with pink hair styled in those very familiar odango-s.
"This is...?" she whispered.
"This is the future" Setsuna replied, in a voice notably altered by sadness. Seiya looked at her and noticed that she was looking at the scene as if it was the last time she would see it, barely holding back her tears.
"This... might ... be the future" Mamoru suddenly spoke, with his eyes fixed on the image. He didn't even realize he said that out loud, he just wanted to look at that scene and engrave it forever in his heart, as he knew that the future he knew would probably never come to life any more.
Feeling Seiya's questioning eyes gazing upon them, Setsuna explained:
"This is Tokyo City in the 30th century, Crystal Tokyo. Usagi and Mamoru have become Neo-Queen Serenity and King Endymion, sovereigns of the planet. And that... that is their daughter, Usagi, Princess Small Lady Serenity. This is the future they've learned they have due to some unfortunate circumstances."
"I don't understand. You've told me that seeing this will help me understand things better and all you've managed is to raise even more questions in my mind. It just seems to me like you're trying to convince me that I should stay away from Usagi." Seiya's words denoted her anger and confusion towards the whole situation. It made no sense at all to her why she was called to Earth because Usagi had an accident. That would have meant that Mamoru wanted her to be by Usagi's side. And now Mamoru and the Guardian of Time were just showing her how strong the love between Usagi and her Mamo-chan was.
"You will understand once you see this" Setsuna replied with a sigh while the Garnet Orb shone brightly once again. This time the three of them found themselves in a room in the outer senshi's house, where Usagi was lying in bed while Haruka, Michiru and Setsuna watched over her, saying that they have called her parents and Mamoru. Seiya was surprised how real everything looked, specially since this time she could hear everything that was being said. Mamoru was examining everything with the same attention as Seiya. Though it was painful for him, he desperately wanted to know what happened that night, he wanted to hear Usagi say everything Haruka had told the girls that she said.
Both Mamoru and Seiya were surprised and saddened to see how weak and exhausted Usagi looked when she got out of bed and they both instinctively moved to catch her when she fell into Haruka's arms.
„Haruka-san, tell me ... why? Mamo-chan is back at my side, I know he never left me, I know he never stopped loving me... I should be happy, right? I am happy but... if I am... then why? Why do I still feel this big emptiness inside my heart? Why does my heart hurt so much every time I remember him, every time I think that he left and I'm never going to see him again? Why do I miss him so much, Haruka, why? Seiya..."
Seiya gasped and her eyes widened with shock. Odango missed her? Odango felt miserable that she left? That couldn't be, Odango had feelings for her, her love might not be unrequited after all? She forced herself to pay attention to Michiru's words only to be even more shocked by what Usagi replied.
"Acting silly... that's what I always do, isn't it? I'm just silly Usagi... Everyone just laughed and thought I was silly and naive when I told Seiya we'd be friends forever. What else could I say? Was I supposed to say that he is good enough? That I wanted him to stay? Should I have done that just to prove that I'm not just a silly girl who can't figure out a man's feelings for her?"
Seiya's heart was beating so fast that she was afraid it would come out of her chest. He was good enough? She was good enough? Why didn't she say it sooner, why did she have to find out about it now that her blonde angel was lying helpless on a hospital bed? She looked at Mamoru expecting to see jealousy in his eyes, but the raven-haired prince just cried as Usagi's words were shattering his heart into millions of pieces. He didn't even seem to notice Seiya was there, looking at him.
"Usagi, please, stop acting like this. You and Mamoru have a future together as Neo-Queen Serenity and King Endymion. The two of you have a duty towards this planet..."
"Stop it! Everyone thinks they can decide things for me, I can't take it any more! I'm tired of being reminded of this future I have with Mamoru, I'm sick of it! I'm tired of people reminding me that my duty as Sailor Moon, as Serenity, is to be at Mamo-chan's side! I want to be able to take my own decisions without anyone interfering and reminding me what my duty is! I'm sick of it! I wish I never knew what my future was, so I can be free at taking my own decisions! I hate the day Chibiusa came here! If it hadn't been for her, I would have never known! I don't want this future if I can't have a word to say about it! I don't want it! I hate it!"
"Usako, I'm so sorry, Usako" Mamoru shouted as Usagi stormed out the door. In the same second him, Setsuna and Seiya were standing in the street just as Usagi was coming out the door.
"Stop it, Setsuna, please! I don't want to see this!" Mamoru pleaded between tears.
"No, please, I want to see all of it" Seiya pleaded as she was watching Usagi dash towards the street.
Mamoru crashed to his knees and hid his head in his hands, shaking his head, still whispering his plea towards Setsuna that she would stop and whispering desperate apologies towards Usagi. Turning between this scene and the sight of the dreadful accident, it wasn't long before Seiya understood why Mamoru reacted like that.
Her heart boiled with rage at the thought that the driver that ran over Usagi was none other than her beloved Mamoru. But at the same time, she pitied him. She didn't even dare to put herself into his shoes, but it wasn't hard to imagine how hard it must have be for Mamoru to live with the guilt.
Seiya realized that the illusion formed by the talisman was now gone and they were back into Mamoru's apartment. She allowed her body to fall down into an armchair while Usagi's last outburst was still echoing in her mind. Odango was doubting her feelings for Mamoru, she was attributing them to their past and the future she had learned they'd have? She had never imagined that Usagi's soul would be so burdened by her duty as a senshi and as a Princess. The way Odango had always spoken about Mamoru, how she missed him, that was not true love? Did she only force herself to love that man because of who they were in the past? After all, they seemed to dislike each other intensely until they found out who they really were. Things were finally starting to make sense. If Usagi felt that way, probably Mamoru had the same feelings, and just stayed by her side because of their past memories. That explained why he called her back to Earth. He just felt guilty for the accident and decided to leave Usagi to live her life with the one she really loved.
"You don't love her, do you?"
