"I can't wait to figure out what's wrong with me so I can say this is the way that I used to be. There's no substitute for time."

The Friday after Thanksgiving, Alex was woken up at two in the morning for a Nichols' woman tradition: Black Friday shopping. After eating two plates full of Thanksgiving dinner, two servings of pumpkin pie, and watching football with her dad and her grandpa, Alex was exhausted. She fell asleep at eight o'clock that night, but that six hours felt like nowhere near enough sleep for her. Alex was emotionally exhausted and, what made matters worse, is that she couldn't even talk to her girlfriend. All she thought about on Thanksgiving was Olivia. She knew Olivia wasn't having the greatest Thanksgiving, but she found herself wondering about the trivial matters of Olivia's day. Was she watching football? Did she eat a good Thanksgiving dinner? Did her mom have any guests over? Did her mom finally apologize to her?

Alex loved Black Friday shopping with her mom and her grandma, but that morning all she thought about was Olivia and how much she missed her. She wanted her girlfriend by her side so she would know Olivia was being cared for.

Just as they did every year, Alex, her mom, and her grandma went over to the Natick Collection for their Black Friday shopping that began the moment the department stores opened their doors at four in the morning. Although it was supposed to snow that day, the stores were still as crowded as they were every Black Friday. The mall was warm inside, but Alex still kept her beanie on her head. It was the same one Olivia had given her before they became a couple and she decided to wear it as a way of feeling close to her girlfriend instead of just to keep warm. While her mom and grandma were scouring the racks at Macy's, they decided to send Alex on a coffee run.

"Here's ten dollars, sweetheart," Mrs. Cabot said to her. "Just get us the usual."

"Here's another ten," Mrs. Nichols told her as she handed over a crisp ten-dollar bill. "Get something for yourself, too."

As she walked over to Starbucks, Alex began wondering why they really brought her with them on Black Friday and she had a feeling it was because she was an extra pair of legs to send on coffee runs and an extra pair of arms to help hold all of their shopping bags. Despite all of her complaints, Alex enjoyed spending Black Friday with her mom and her grandma because it was the one day of the year when she felt as if the three of them were a team instead of three women from three different generations. Every Thanksgiving after dinner, the three of them would go through all of the ads and come up with a game plan for their shopping trip, so they would be able to go to every store they wanted before the sales ended. Macy's was always their first destination because it held the most memories for Alex's grandma. She always went Christmas shopping with her mother and grandmother there when she was young and she loved sharing that tradition with Alex. She only mentioned it in passing, but she hoped to continue that tradition if Alex had a daughter someday.

Alex returned from Starbucks with coffee for her mom and grandma and a bagel, yogurt, and peppermint coffee for herself. Shopping had always made Alex work up an appetite, so she at her breakfast while her mom and grandma dug through a pile of cashmere sweaters that had probably been neatly folded before the store opened. The Christmas music playing throughout the store made Alex feel even more lonesome and depressed. She wondered when Christmas music had gone from being about Santa Claus and playing in the snow to songs about missing the one you love. Alex wasn't heartbroken—she still had a girlfriend—but she couldn't help feeling as if her heart was about to break.

"Mom, can I get something for Olivia?" Alex asked once she was finished eating.

"Sure, I'll help you pick something out," Mrs. Cabot responded. "We still have to get something for your father, too."

Alex thought about the gift she had in mind for Olivia and there was no way she wanted her mom with her while she purchased it. "Actually, I was hoping I could go by myself—if you don't mind."

"Alexandra, you know I don't like us splitting up," Mrs. Cabot reminded her.

"Unless it's for coffee?" Alex asked with a sarcastic tone.

"For heaven's sake, Jolene. The girl is eighteen now. Let her shop by herself," Mrs. Nichols intervened.

"Fine," Mrs. Cabot told her daughter. "You can go by yourself. Just keep your phone on and make sure to answer it if I call you."

Alex gave her mom a hug. "Okay, I promise I'll answer."

"Do you need the credit card?" Mrs. Cabot asked.

"I already took it," Alex said as she held her mom's Macy's card up.

When she was sure they were no longer looking at her, Alex headed to the lingerie department. She was a grown woman now—a grown woman with a live-in girlfriend—and she wanted to do something special for Olivia this Christmas. Alex was going to get Olivia a gift she could open in front of everyone like she had done last Christmas, but when they were all alone she was going to give Olivia her real gift.

Alex knew she could go to Victoria's Secret, but that wasn't the look she wanted to achieve. She didn't want something sleazy—Olivia hated sleazy. She wanted something classy, something that would make her feel like a woman for her girlfriend. The moment Alex saw a red satin negligee with a sweetheart neckline, she knew it was exactly what she had been looking for. Feeling embarrassed for being in the lingerie section, Alex quickly grabbed an extra-small and made her way over to the cashier. She debated trying it on, but she decided not to because she wasn't ready to see herself that way although she couldn't wait for Olivia to see her in the negligee.

Alex tried to conceal the negligee in her shopping bag, but the bright red material showed through. Sensing her daughter's nervousness, Mrs. Cabot grabbed the shopping bag from Alex and held up the red negligee.

"I know Olivia isn't going to wear this," Mrs. Cabot told her.

Alex tried to be confident, but she knew it was no use. "I'm wearing it for her. It's part of her Christmas gift."

Mrs. Cabot let the negligee drop back into the bag. "And just what do you plan on doing while you're wearing that?"

"Mom, this is embarrassing. Can we please not talk about this in public?"

"When you said you were going to get her a gift, I was expecting you to get her some god awful Yankees memorabilia or some warm-up clothes, not this—this—"

"Negligee," Alex added. "It's just a negligee, Mom. It's in good taste and it leaves me fully covered. This is like wearing a sundress, Mom. It's not like I bought a leather teddy and a riding crop."

"Not this time, but that's probably next, Alexandra," Mrs. Cabot told her. "Besides, you don't have the boobs for this. Sweetheart, we barely got you out of a training bra this summer."

Alex had never been so embarrassed in her life. Not only did her mom just call her flat and cause a scene, she did so in front of thirty other women. No longer caring about the negligee, she left the bag with her mom and ran over to the car so she could be alone. As she sat in the car, she watched the snow start to fall and she began wishing she were a kid again. Those were the days when she'd be satisfied with just a gingerbread cookie and some hot chocolate while her mom and her grandma shopped. If she were a good girl, her mom would get her a new toy as a reward. Sometimes, she felt as if her mom was wishing they were still in those days as well. Alex was growing up faster than most eighteen-year-olds and her mother was well aware of that. What she wasn't aware of was that Alex's feelings were still easily hurt.

"Get out of the car," Mrs. Cabot said as she gently tapped on the window.

"Why?" Alex asked. "I'm not in the mood to be humiliated again."

"Alexandra!"

Alex reluctantly got out of the car and stood across from her mother. She had expected a confrontation, not a tight embrace from the woman who had just embarrassed her in front of the entire department.

"I'm sorry," Mrs. Cabot told her. "I know you're in love with Olivia and I know the two of you are intimate with each other, but there are some things I'm just not ready for. You're only eighteen, Alexandra. That's far too young to be wearing something like that."

"Then tell me that," Alex insisted. "Don't tell me I'm flat chested and compare me to a dominatrix. I wouldn't have gotten so upset had you just pulled me aside and told me I was too young."

"I returned the negligee," Mrs. Cabot told her.

"I figured you would," Alex responded. "Mom, I'm in love with Olivia and I want to look pretty for her. I want to look like a woman and not some teenage girl."

"But you are a teenage girl and so is Olivia. There's nothing wrong with that, Alex. You have the rest of your life to look grown up. Enjoy being young while you still can. Olivia only has eyes for you even without that little red thing you bought. She still thinks you're beautiful."

"I wish she were here."

Mrs. Cabot fixed Alex's beanie and zipped up her jacket. "I know you do, sweetheart. If you're so concerned with looking pretty for Olivia, I can help you pick out something to wear for her on Christmas—something age appropriate. How about some cute matching pajamas for the two of you to wear on Christmas morning and a new dress for you to wear on Christmas day? We can even go to the make-up counter and pick out some new eye shadow for you."

"Okay," Alex said and smiled at her mom. "I already saw some cute pajama pants that would look great on Olivia."

By one o'clock that afternoon, the three of them were finished with shopping and they decided to leave the mall. The doorbuster sales had ended at the department stores and Alex had wanted to go with her dad to Best Buy for the all-day DVD sales. There was nothing in particular that she wanted, but she figured it was the perfect opportunity to pick up a few things for Olivia.

"Dad! I'm ready to go!" Alex said as she practically busted through the front door, but her dad barely heard her over the conversation he was having.

"Can you believe Dallas yesterday?" Mr. Cabot asked.

"Forget Dallas," Mr. Nichols said. "They've seen better days. I'm still upset about Green Bay losing to Detroit."

"I could care less about either team," Olivia told them. "I just like the Dallas Cowboys and Miami Dolphins cheerleaders. I was in heaven throughout the whole game. I like looking at them, but they're still nowhere near as beautiful as Alex."

"You see, Frank, this girl is normal," Mr. Nichols told his son-in-law. "I like this kid. Olivia, go get us some whiskey."

The excitement was almost too much for Alex to bear. Without caring if she was interrupting their conversation, Alex ran past the living room and into the kitchen to see her girlfriend. "Babe!" she said as she nearly tackled Olivia. "I missed you so much! I didn't expect to see you so soon."

Olivia gave her a kiss on the cheek and wrapped her arms around her girlfriend. "You should have known I couldn't go more than a day without holding you."

"Can we go up to the guest room?" Alex asked her parents.

"Go ahead," Mr. Cabot told her. "But keep it PG-13."

"We will," Alex promised.

When they finally had their privacy, Alex urged Olivia to lie down next to her on the bed. She had no idea if cuddling was what her parents had in mind, but she didn't care. She wanted her girlfriend to hold her close. As Alex had her arm around Olivia's waist, she started playing with the hem of her shirt and was startled to see bruises on her girlfriend's side.

"Babe, what happened?" Alex asked.

"Skateboarding," Olivia said and tried to shrug it off.

"Olivia, your skateboard is at our apartment," Alex pointed out. "And it's snowing in New York. I know you didn't go skateboarding in the snow. She's hurting you, isn't she? How could she do this to you?"

"Alex, no," Olivia said angrily, but she changed her tone when she noticed her girlfriend was now crying. Alex's tears were Olivia's kryptonite and she could never stay upset when Alex cried.

"What did she do?" Alex asked.

"I'll tell you some other time," Olivia promised. "I'll tell you everything some other time."

"Are you going to be upset with me now?"

"No, of course not," Olivia responded. "I love you, Alex."

"Can I hold you for the rest of the day?" Alex asked. "Not just the rest of the day but for the rest of my life?"

Olivia lifted Alex's hand and held it up to her lips. "I'm not sure about that," she teased. "It'll be hard to play basketball if you're attached to me."

"Liv," Alex groaned.

"Alex," Olivia mimicked.

As grateful as she was for knowing that her girlfriend was safely with her, she was becoming tired of being kept in the dark. Alex wanted to know about Olivia's home life and she was determined to find out sooner or later.