Anomen pulled Challenger to a stop in Merena's dooryard, and muttered a quick, calming prayer under his breath before dismounting. The confidence that he had felt in High Watcher Emond's office had waned steadily with every step closer to Merena's door. In fact, he had not been so nervous at the prospect of seeing her since that day all those months ago when he had first come here after Kelsey's disappearance. Then, time and distance had lulled him into the belief that he felt only friendship for her, a comfortable illusion soon dispelled by a few hours in her company.
He had no such illusions now to bolster him; his discussion with High Watcher Emond had shaken him to the core. You fool! He berated himself. How could you not see that Merena would want a man in her life again! When he had set his course to be Merena's friend and put aside his love for her, he had never considered that another might capture her heart. To think of it now was pure agony. The tantalizing thought that he could never completely suppress — that she might turn to him for love, fought its way to the surface once more. Is it possible? Is it? By Helm, I am afraid to even hope for such joy, but to step aside for another again… Anomen shuddered.
There was no one in sight, so he tied Challenger's reins to the fence and approached the front door and knocked. There was no response for a few moments, and then finally Merena herself came to the door, flushed and breathless, with her hair in disarray. Her face lit when she saw him.
"Anomen, what are you doing here? I didn't expect you for hours yet! I'm afraid you caught me in the attic with my head in a trunk, which is why I look so frightful." Merena said as she opened the door and ushered him inside.
"On the contrary, Merena, you have never looked more beautiful." Anomen said, meaning every word of it. Then, fearful that he had said too much, he glanced aside, consequently not seeing the pleased look she gave him in return.
"Merena, I am afraid I must return to Athkatla immediately; I have received a message from High Watcher Oisig that my presence is needed urgently. Could I speak to Kylia? In my absence High Watcher Emond has invited you both to accompany him to the fair tomorrow, but I wanted to tell Kylia in person."
"Oh, I'm sorry, Anomen but Kylia's not here. She went down the road to play with one of her friends. I don't expect her back for an hour or more."
"Hmm, I cannot wait that long. Perhaps I could leave her a note?" Merena found paper and pen for Anomen, and he set about writing a short note to Kylia.
As he did so, Merena said. "That was very thoughtful of High Watcher Emond to ask us to join him. Though I suppose it's not too surprising, I can tell he likes you very much"
"I think, if anything, it reveals an understandable preference for your company, Merena." Anomen finished the note with a flourish and handed it to Merena.
She took the note then said, a little tentatively, "Anomen, there's something else I thought I should mention, something Kylia asked about. I tried to explain, but she might ask you also…"
"What is it, Merena? You know I will do whatever I can to help."
Merena gave him an indecipherable look and continued. "Evidently, one of her friends told her that you are courting me and she wanted to know what it means and whether it was true."
Anomen's heart froze — his conversation with High Watcher Emond had not prepared him for this possibility! How could he reassure her that he did not intend to press his attentions on her? "Merena, I…I am so sorry!" he stammered, as he frantically tried to gather his thoughts. "I never wanted this to happen…"
Merena must have seen the look of shock and horror on his face, despite his efforts to disguise it. She stiffened and glanced away so he could not see her face. When she spoke, her tone was light, but the hurt in her voice was unmistakable. "I had no idea that you find the mere idea of courting me to be so…unappealing."
"No, no, Merena, that's not what I meant at all, please believe me!" Desperate to be understood, he turned her so she would have to face him. "By Helm, you must know that is not how I feel about you! I…it's just that I do not want to see your reputation sullied because of me." He paused, for the words did not come easily, "If you want me to put these rumors to rest, I…I will stop coming to see you."
To his surprise, Merena smiled. "Anomen, the last time there were rumors circulating about me, people were saying I was responsible for the destruction of Saradush. After that, idle gossip that I might marry someone who is a dear friend does not alarm me unduly. Besides, I enjoy your company far too much to give it up." She was standing very close to him now, so close that he was sure he could hear her heart beat. When she looked up at him, her expression made his breath catch in his throat. "Unless, of course," she continued, "you find it burdensome to visit me and would prefer not to."
Without thinking, he grasped her arms and pulled her toward him. "No, my lady, that is most decidedly not what I want."
She did not resist or pull away; instead she met his eyes and said, with a note of challenge in her voice, "What is it that you want, dear Anomen?"
He struggled to speak; there was so much he wanted to say to her, to tell how much he loved her and needed her, how he had longed to hold her in his arms. But everything he thought to say seemed to be too much or too little. Maybe now, he thought, no words are needed. He pulled her closer and said "Merena, my lady…" in voice hoarse with emotion as he bent down to kiss her.
In the split second before their lips met Anomen wondered whether he had made a terrible error. That doubt was laid to rest immediately as she responded eagerly and called his name, her voice a caress. Her lips were as soft and warm as he had always dreamed they would be, and he could not suppress a thrill of desire when she stroked the back of his neck and pulled him closer. Anomen kissed her again, more deeply this time, silently cursing the armor that prevented him from feeling the warmth of her body against his.
Between kisses, he whispered, "I take it then, that I have not overstepped by bounds?"
"I was beginning to think I would have to take matters into my own hands!" Merena laughed. "So, no, you have not. Although next time, I think we should try this without the armor."
The images her words conjured in his mind made his breath come short and his heart beat faster. Calm down, you idiot! This is not the time! Hastily pushing the thoughts away, he smiled and stroked Merena's cheek. "It is just as well then, that I am wearing my armor, for otherwise it would be even more difficult for me to leave." He pulled her into an embrace and whispered, "I am so sorry, Merena, but I must…"
"I know, Anomen. It must be something important if they need you in Athkatla so urgently." Merena said.
Anomen grimaced. "By Helm, it had better be! To take me away from you like this when we have just…" He paused, unable to find the words to describe the current state of their relationship.
Merena understood nonetheless. "I don't want you to go either, Anomen."
Anomen tipped her chin up so he could see her face "My lady, I hope you also know that I will return the first moment I am able to."
"I know that too," Merena whispered, and pulled him toward her for another kiss.
A short while later, Arthia glanced out the front window to see Anomen and Merena in the dooryard. Anomen was seated on his horse, and as Arthia watched he leaned down from the saddle to give Merena a long and loving kiss, which she returned enthusiastically.
"There!" Arthia exclaimed triumphantly. "It's about time!" Then she went into the kitchen, pulled out her recipe books, and sat down to decide what she would prepare for the wedding supper.
