Disclaimer: I'm very sad to say that I still do not own anything Inuyasha. Quite tragic really. It's only a matter of time though...

~Chapter Seven~

Rin stumbled blindly through the darkness of the woods, not paying attention to which direction she was headed. She was cold and hollow, but distantly she knew that the moment some shred of emotion broke through the blessed emptiness she would shatter, and she was afraid she might never be able to put herself back together. Numbly she wished she could undo the last day, revert back to the life she'd had before her whole world had been torn apart. She should never have left the village, she should have stayed there and forgotten all about the demon lord. She closed her eyes, choking back a sob, clinging to the feeling of nothingness that had helped her endure thus far. She stumbled into a tree and found herself clutching at the rough bark, fighting the urge to let her despair swallow her completely. How could she have possibly been so stupid? She thought back to when she had first woken, so happy and full of hope. So very naïve…

Slowly, Rin fought her way through the fog of her exhaustion and opened her eyes. Blinking, she looked around. She could tell from the stars that she had only been asleep a little while, and though the night air had turned cooler she was not cold. She looked down at the blanket in which she was cocooned and her heart swelled with tenderness at the thought that Sesshoumaru had taken the time to wrap her up and make sure that she was warm. He always took such good care of her! She glanced around, but saw no sign of the daiyoukai. Typical, she smiled, he could never stay still very long. Snuggling under the blanket, she settled down to wait for him to return to her. Knowing him, he was likely surveying the forest around them, keeping her safe as he always did. It was a shame, she would have preferred to wake up with him near, but he was who he was. It wasn't necessary for him to be so vigilant with her safety any more, she had worked hard to make sure that she could protect herself. Kagome and Sango had done well enough on their adventures after all. They had been younger than she was now and they had even saved Inuyasha and Miroku on several occasions. There was no reason to believe the same would not be true for her and Sesshoumaru.

The cool wind bit at her through the blankets, and her mood turned more somber. He understood that right? She would be a partner to him, the same as Inuyasha and Kagome. Granted, Sesshoumaru was much more powerful than his hanyou brother, but that didn't make any difference, did it? He could still lean on her and rely on her. There was no reason to think that he wouldn't learn to eventually, perhaps he just needed more time to see how powerful she had become. It would only be a matter of time, he would come to see her as an equal, an asset. His partner. He would see. Time crawled by, and soon Rin grew cold enough that she left the shelter of her blanket to retrieve the clothing she had set aside neatly before her bath. Slipping everything on, she once again wrapped herself in the blanket and sat next to Ah-Un, peering through the trees and into the sky, searching for some sign of him. Where was he?

Her unease turned to worry as the stars trekked across the midnight sky. He'd been gone for a very long time. She wasn't overly concerned that he was injured, he was far too strong to be threatened by anything in the area. Why hadn't he come back? After what had happened between them, she certainly wished he were here. What if he didn't feel the same way? The cold realization hit her that while being with him had changed her entire world, he might not have been so affected. He obviously had done it before, maybe it hadn't been as incredible for him as it had been for her. Maybe she hadn't been very good at all, not compared to other more experienced women he had probably been with.

An awful, sick feeling began to spread in her stomach. She'd been making a lot of assumptions after what had happened between them. Maybe nothing at all had changed for him. Perhaps he wasn't interested in anything beyond what they had done, or now that they had done that, maybe his curiosity was appeased and he wasn't interested in anything more than traveling together as they had before. She clapped a hand over her mouth, horrified. He hadn't initiated anything, had given no indication that he had ever wanted anything beyond what they had been for years. She was the one who had thrown herself at him, first with the kiss, then by shamelessly offering herself up to him at the hot spring. She had practically begged him. She shuddered, remembering the words he had spoken to her, This is what you want? What she wanted, not him.

What if he had only been trying to spare her feelings? He had never made any secret of his contempt for humans and demons being together, why would he look at her any different? What had made her think that he would see her as a potential mate, someone to keep with him and stand beside him for all their days? She had even dared to dream of children, knowing the disgust he had felt for his hanyou half brother. How could she have expected him to consider fathering his own? Not only that, he was the last full blooded son of the Inu no Taisho, it was his duty to take a strong demoness as his mate to continue the bloodline. Why else would he not have marked her? She had seen Kagome's mark, the beautiful scar on the back of her neck for the world to see that Inuyasha had claimed her and would give his life to protect her. Her hand ran over the back of her own barren, unblemished neck. Oh God, what had she done?

Rin stumbled to her feet. There was no way she could face him, she was too ashamed. She had been stupid, so very stupid to believe that she could ever have been what he needed. To believe that she could ever have been what he wanted. She had to get away.

Opening her eyes, Rin snapped back to the present. The more she thought about it the more she realized that she had made a horrible mistake. She bowed her head and forced herself to continue walking. Shameless woman that she was, she couldn't even bring herself to regret the actual act. It had been everything she had ever dreamed it would be and more. Tears burned in her eyes, but she refused to let them fall, her desire for him had only increased and it was just one more reason that leaving was the right thing to do. How could she continue to follow him wanting him the way she did, knowing that he didn't feel the same way about her? Could she trail behind him and watch as beautiful demons vied for his affections, watch him chose one and mark her as he had refused to mark Rin? No, she would wither away and die. This was better, she would hold on to the sweet memory of what they had briefly shared together and it would sustain her. She would hold onto it and remember the joy and love she had felt in his arms and it would have to be enough.

She tried to keep moving, focusing on placing one foot in front of the other. She concentrated on her breathing, in and out, the cold air burning her lungs. Each beat of her broken heart confirmed that she was surviving and proved that she would survive, though right now each second was torment. If she could just make it back to village then she could collapse and mourn the loss of the dream she had held onto so tightly. She looked around and corrected her course, trying not to think of how far away she was from her salvation. One step at a time, one broken heartbeat after another, she would get there eventually.

"Rin."

She closed her eyes, fists pressing against her stomach in physical pain at the sound of that deep, beloved voice in the darkness. She cursed herself, of course he wouldn't just let her go, he could and would always find her. She forced down the anguish that threatened to overwhelm her, he must never know how much she was hurting. He might try to keep her with him out of pity, and she wasn't sure she was strong enough to refuse him if he tried. She turned to him with a bright smile on her face.

"Sesshoumaru-sama!" she cried cheerfully, her heart breaking and bleeding all over again at the sight of him. He stood not far away, his face expressionless but his head tilted slightly in inquiry.

"I was thinking about everything, and I'm not sure that traveling is the best thing for me after all." Sesshoumaru's eyes widened and he appeared shocked. Rin barreled on, terrified that if she didn't she would throw herself at his feet and beg him to keep her, to try to convince him that she was worthy, to love her as she loved him.

"I miss everyone at the village, and I think it would be better for everyone if I just returned there. I know that I've been slowing you down, and I know that you have many places that you need to be, being the lord of the west. You don't need a human like me tagging along and keeping you from your duties. You'd always have to worry about protecting me because of the other demons, and they would look down on you letting a human accompany you. Really, it would be better for everyone if I just left you alone and let you take care of the things you need to take care of, and I could go back and help Kagome and Sango, like before." Rin took a breath, encouraged by her success so far. If she could just convince him to go away, she could fall apart and he would be none the wiser. She gave him another happy smile.

"And please, don't worry that what happened tonight. I initiated it after all, I don't hold you responsible in any way. I know that you don't want a human wife, that's why you didn't mark me. I understand."

Sesshoumaru wondered if she knew that she was crying. Tears slowly trickled down her cheeks despite the bright and sincere expression she was trying to give him. Did she truly want to leave him? He stepped towards her and she flinched away. Desperately he reached out to grasp her hand, but she pulled away with such force that her foot caught on an upraised root and she fell. As she sat on the ground, the combination of the pain in her heart and the pain from her twisted ankle was just too much and she began to cry in earnest. She pulled her knees up to her chest and buried her head in her arms, curling up into a tiny ball of shame as gut wrenching sobs tore from her throat.

Sesshoumaru stared at the weeping girl, horrified. How could he not have anticipated this? How could he have left her alone after what had happened between them? He was filled with self-loathing as he recalled all the things he had said and done over the years that had lead her to her obvious conclusions. She didn't believe she was worth anything to him, she believed that he wanted her with him. As his anger surged inside him he felt a tiny brush of power, but he pushed it aside impatiently, focused on Rin. He cursed himself for his inability to express himself. If he had been able to talk to her, to tell her how he felt, then perhaps she would not be suffering the way she was. Why couldn't he tell her that without her, his whole world was shadowed, his existence meaningless. He looked at her sitting before him, utterly broken, felt the stab of panic because he didn't know how to fix her. She seemed so far away from him, it was almost as if she had died all over again, only this time he had been the one to destroy her.

He stood, lost, and for once it was his beast that came to save him. There were no words he could say, and the beast had no words to give. Sesshoumaru dropped to his knees and knelt in the dirt before Rin. She looked up, startled, as he placed his hands in front of him and bowed, pressing his forehead to the ground. Slowly, he turned his head and tilted it back, exposing his throat to her in the deepest of Inu apologies. He looked up at her where she sat, stunned, one hand having to risen to cover her mouth in shock at the sight of the daiyoukai subjugating himself before her. She reached forward and tugged on his sleeve, trying to get him to rise but he refused.

"Forgive me," he said, gazing up into her eyes.

"Sesshoumaru-sama, please get up," Rin begged, pulling more forcefully at him. Finally, he rose, but only so far as his knees. He looked into her eyes, struggling for the words he needed.

"Forgive me, Rin," he repeated. "I should never have left you. How could you have known what you mean to me?" he reached out to place a hand on her cheek, and this time she did not pull away. "Without you, there is no light, no warmth. Before you I had life, but it was not until you that I could actually live."

Rin closed her eyes and tears once again slid down her face, but these were softer. These tears were healing. She turned her face into the palm of his hand and lifted her own to clasp his fingers against her.

"Do you truly wish to return to the village?" he asked. The idea was abhorrent to him, but if that was her choice he would not, could not bring himself to stop her. She gazed up at him and smiled, a real smile this time.

"Sesshoumaru-sama, the only thing I have ever wanted was to be by your side, always."

He wrapped his arms around her and gathered her close to him, the terrible tension in his chest fading away as a sense of peace and contentment filled him. Rin took a deep breath.

"Sesshoumaru-sama—"

"No," he interrupted, "if you are to remain with me, you will no longer call me Sesshoumaru-sama." He pulled back far enough to look down into her eyes. "You will refer to me as your shujin."

Rin leaned her forehead against his chest as his arms pulled her close.

"Shujin," she whispered.

Husband.

A/N: ! He proposed! Well, he didn't so much propose as he just told her what was gonna happen, but hey- that's Sesshoumaru for you :P You know the drill, R&R!

On a side note- thank you to everyone who has commented or messaged me so far! You guys can't know how much it means to me, you really brighten my day! Thank you so much =^.^=