Ch. 7 Switzerland's Secret Journal
Feb. 1,
Today I noticed that my pink pajamas were missing. I suspected Gil, because he's done it before. But when I got to the meeting, I found out that Felix took them. He thought they were "fabulous". He was wearing them, and was asking Toris, "Hey Liet, like, how totally fabulous do I look right now?" I took them back. I didn't need him disgracing my sleepwear. I thought he already had pink pajamas. He probably got jealous of mine because they're better.
Feb. 2,
I think Alfred officially lost his mind today. He came to my front door and said, "There's six more weeks of winter because that stupid groundhog saw his shadow!" What was he talking about? Is this some type of tradition of his (I think I recall something like this from last year)? He's so odd! A groundhog? Really? If anything, his tradition should be six more weeks of winter if I miss three out of five targets. I'll figure it out.
Feb. 3,
Apparently that groundhog thing is a tradition in his country. I asked him today, and he told me that the groundhog's name is Punxsutawney Phil, after a city in America. That sheds some light on why he told me that yesterday, but I'm still not convinced that he's sane.
Feb. 4,
Today, I was target shooting in my backyard, and Rodderiech told me to keep down the noise. So I grabbed a quieter gun (a .22 caliber) and I drew his face on a target. I felt good to shoot his stupid face. It was a pretty accurate drawing; he was playing the piano in the drawing, with that intense look on his face. Although, how dare that stupid Austrian tell me to keep the noise down. When he plays his piano, I don't tell him to keep the noise down; I just wear sound-proof headphones. But I guess you can't please everyone.
Feb. 5,
Today, I realized that I had to hide that target with Rodderich's face from Lili. I don't want her thinking that there are hostilities between us, because she'll just schedule us for lunch so we can bond. I thought Well, I can get rid of the target by burning it. I went and got some matches, took a knife, and cut the target into shreds. Then I burned the shreds in my backyard. Then I put half of the ashes into one garbage can, and the rest into another, just for good measure. Lili may have her ways of finding things, but not that target.
Feb. 6,
I forgot that even though Lili can't find the target, she could still find my journal. She said that she was upset that I shot at a drawing of Rodderich's face. Well, she should be glad I didn't use his actual face, because I was tempted. Especially when he was playing Beethoven's fifth symphony way out of key. Anyway, Lili wants me and Rodderiech to do something together other than lunch, because clearly that's not working.
Feb. 7,
Rodderiech and I agreed to go for a walk, because it's free, and we don't have to do anything but walk. We went to the park, and we could tell that Lili, Elizaveta, and Gil were watching us from the bushes (Gil had a camera). I didn't really talk to Rodderiech at all. We mostly looked over to see what our stalkers were doing. I don't understand why Elizaveta and Lili want me and Rodderiech to hang out so much. Whenever I ask Lili, she says, "You two were such good friends in the past. Why can't you be friends again?" Well, Rodderiech still owes me twenty dollars from a few years ago, and he's not paying me back anytime soon.
Feb. 8,
Apparently Gil took pictures of me in the park yesterday. He told me, "I thought you two weren't friends." in the most sarcastic tone ever! I took his camera and deleted the pictures. I don't need people thinking that I'm friends with that loser. And telling them, "Well, my sister made me do it..." isn't a very good excuse.
Feb. 9,
Just because I deleted the pictures, it doesn't mean that they're completely gone. Gil had the pictures developed before he showed me. I have to give him credit, he really out-smarted me. Anyway, Gil put copies at today's meeting table. There was one picture for each chair. I spent the entire morning drawing over Rodderiech with a magic marker that I borrowed from Feliciano (he has a lot of them for some reason). I drew over each picture so that it looked like me walking through the park with Lili (I wanted it to look believable). Nobody bought it (except Feliciano) but they couldn't tell who "Lili" really was, so I'm safe, anyway.
Feb. 10,
I can tell that Rodderiech is grateful for what I did yesterday. He didn't want anyone to see those pictures as much as I did. It's just awkward when you think two guys are mortal enemies, and then you see them walking in the park. Rodderiech didn't say anything, but I can tell because he didn't play his piano today! That must be his way of saying "thank you". And I'll accept that. It was so quiet today.
Feb. 12,
Gil printed more copies of the pictures, and since there was no meeting today, he handed them out personally. I can't stop him this time, Feliciano took his marker back. And breaking into people's houses and burning the photos in front of them isn't very dignified. I'll just have to wait until the next meeting which is next week.
Feb. 17,
I walked into the meeting today, expecting everyone to ask questions and laugh at me, but nothing happened. I guess nobody really cared (now that I look back, it wasn't really that big of a deal). So I win again! Gil has failed at humiliating me, yet again! He'll have to think of something better next time (not that I want him to).
Feb. 18,
I went to Yao's restaurant today (don't ask, because I don't even know) and I noticed that he has a lot of competition nearby. Alfred's McDonald's is a few buildings away. Kiku has a Japanese sushi place across the street (that must be awkward). Antonio has a diner, but he's a bit too personal with the customers. Ludwig's diner is scary, because he threatens his customers. And Francis has this really expensive place. But I don't really care, because all of those restaurants are terrible (if it isn't the food, then it's the service). I'll just stick to buying food from the supermarket.
Feb. 19,
I went to the supermarket today, and even though the items are quality, the checkout lines aren't. Heracles was the cashier, and he is the laziest person ever! It's even worse when he starts up a conversation with Antonio, because that makes him work even slower! Then there's Rodderiech spazzing out, he's like, "Stop chatting! We're all trying to get through the line, here!" He's probably anxious to get to his piano (his "love"). I wonder when those two will get married and have a little keyboard child (I wouldn't doubt that)! But, anyway, that's why I use the self-service checkout line. It's much faster than Heracles!
Feb. 20,
Today Francis wanted me to give him advice on banking (because I'm filthy-stinking rich). He said that the bank was funding too much of his money. I told him that he should start with a good bank, and he told me that his bank is fine. Then he took me to his bank, and I could see why they were funding his account money! The ATM machines were solid gold! The whole bank was made of marble! They hired these really attractive women to work there! And he wonders why they're funding his money! What doesn't he understand? He's a hopeless wreck.
Feb. 21,
Francis really has to switch banks. He asked me for money today, but I didn't give him any. I told him to ask Antonio or Gil. So then he told me he already did, and they said no. Well, I guess that makes three of us, then. I'm not giving him money after I told him how to save some. He's not that intelligent.
Feb. 22,
I noticed that Alfred is also low on cash. However, he's got no excuses, because I know that he's in debt to Yao, and he's not paying him. I also know that Yao charges interest for every month he's not paid. So Alfred should wise up and pay Yao before his debt gets too expensive.
Feb. 23,
This morning, Gil saw me eating chocolate, so he walked up to me and told me, "Belgian chocolate is better than Swiss chocolate!" I really took offense to that, but I doubt that's true. So I'm going to acquire (not steal) a sample of each big chocolate making nation to prove that no one makes chocolate better than the Swiss.
Feb. 24,
I've acquired a sample of Swiss, French, German, Belgian, Italian, and even American. I had to steal the Belgian chocolate because Bella is very secretive of her chocolate. Anyway, I had Lili blindly taste each one, and had her decide. The American ones were out first (shocker). She thought the French ones were too rich. The Italian ones probably would've been good, if Feliciano hadn't turned the chocolate into a sauce and top it on pasta (I had to scrape it off the pasta). She ruled out the German ones. So then it was just the Swiss and the Belgian, and do you know what she picked? Well, life doesn't always have happy endings, because she chose the Belgian. I didn't tell her, because it would upset her. Honestly, I like the Swiss better.
Feb. 25,
I need to find a chocolate recipe that beats Belgian chocolate. I spent the whole day reverse-engineering both samples to see what was different, and I noticed that the Belgian chocolate was smoother than the Swiss. Mine was richer. So now I can improve my recipe for chocolate. I'll start making some now that I know what to do.
Feb. 26,
After a night of experimenting, I've come up with chocolate that Lili prefers to the Belgian. At tomorrow's meeting, I'll put it to the test.
Feb. 27,
I came to the conference room early, and put my new chocolate in Bella's seat, so she'll find it, and hopefully eat it, and see how good it is. People started arriving about half-an-hour later. Bella came in and found the chocolate. But she didn't see it as a threat as it was intended to be. She thought it was a gift from Antonio! Why can't people do things right? She told Antonio "thank you", but Antonio looked confused. I was outraged! Taking a Swiss threat as some kind of gift! So I yelled out, "Bella! Those chocolates aren't from Antonio! They're from me!" although, that didn't sound as I intended it to. I tried to explain myself, and how I was trying to prove that Swiss chocolate's better than Belgian, but it was too late. People started whispering amongst themselves. I heard Gil say "I knew it." That's just great. Now people think that I'm in love with Bella, which I'm not! I just hope Lili doesn't find out.
Feb. 28,
Today, Lili found out. Elizaveta came to my door and started rambling on about "feelings" and "love" and all that crap. She was like, "Oh Vash, I'm glad that you're expressing your feelings toward Bella. She's such a nice girl. Don't worry; I'll convince her that you're a good person to date. May I speak to Lili in private, please?" I was going to tell her to get lost, but she already walked in, and Lili was there. So then they were talking about me "making progress" and "being social" (I was eavesdropping on their conversation). Now Lili thinks that I like Bella. Why do lies spread faster than the truth?
Feb. 29,
Lili tried to talk to me about dating today. I was going to explain that it was all a misunderstanding, but it's not even worth it. No one will accept the truth anyway, so I just had to listen to Lili talk to me about romance. I hope she still reads this journal, because then she would understand. It's not like I'm going to follow her advice. She's trying to tell me how I should ask out Bella, and that's not really important to me. What is important is that my chocolate's better (Why couldn't people talk about that, instead?).
