AN: I've been trying to upload chapters for 3 days without success. Is anyone else having this issue? Gah, how annoying! So we're moving on in the story after this chapter since I got the message, you're all sick of my stringing it out (Me too, but I told you I can't stop the dribble :) ). Next up will be a little more Puck loving and then its on to the cuplrit! You guys are awesome.
Oh, I just thought I'd mention, I've been watching Season 3 of Dawson's Creek this week :) Joshua Jackson, why must you be so pretty, and Katie Holmes- what happened to you?
The Berry Residence, 15 minutes later.
Rachel stood wide eyed in the entry foyer as the doorbell rang loudly, reverberating through the empty house. She knew as soon as she had pulled in the driveway that he would come after her, she just didn't expect it would be this soon.
She thought about ignoring him and pretending she wasn't home, but her car was parked glaringly obvious in front of the garage. The same car he had watched her flee to only minutes before.
Taking a deep breath, she flung open the door intending to tell Puck to mind his own business, but as she stepped onto the porch and mustered up the appropriate amount of venom for her scathing delivery she was confronted by the wrong jock.
"Finn."
The boy in question gave her his patented goofball smile and scratched the back of his head. "Hey Rach, how you doing?"
"I'm well Finn, thank you for asking." She replied automatically, flummoxed by his presence. An awkward silence stretched between them until she eventually prompted, "Can I venture to enquire as to the purpose of your visit?"
He handed over the blackberry she hadn't seen him fiddling with. 'Mercedes asked me to give you this. She's grounded, so she couldn't bring it herself. Apparently she didn't call to let her folks know we all ended up staying at Matt's last night." Finn explained, his grin widening. "They phoned her bright and early this morning and told her to get her butt back home in 10 minutes, without passing go or collected 200 dollars." He was demonstrably proud of the little joke he had made.
Rachel felt herself involuntarily smiling in return. "Poor Mercedes. I guess there's no get out of jail free card then." Finn's was visibly delighted that she got his monopoly reference and volleyed back with one of her own.
He knew he was sometimes a bit late on the uptake, and Rachel herself was renowned for being socially awkward, which truthfully was part of the reason he was so attracted to her in the very beginning, which brought him back to the other reason for his visit.
"Look Rach," he started nervously. "Kurt said something last night, about how maybe you were upset about me and Karen, uh the girl I, kind of,"
"I understand Finn." She held up her hand as he tried to explain second base without actually saying so. He looked sheepish, "Right, well I just wanted to make sure that-"
Rachel got the gist of what he might be about to say and was happy to interrupt. "Finn, this is a topic we really have no need to discuss. While admittedly I was taken aback when confronted with your little flirtation, I harbour no ill feelings toward you I promise."
His blank look was telling her he hadn't the faintest idea what she had just relayed. "I meant, that I'm not upset Finn." She translated gently.
"Oh." He looked relieved. "That's good, because I think I really like her, and I know that you and I…" he paused, stumped.
'Are friends." She finished for him, her tone sincere. "JUST friends. And as such, I'm happy for you and, uh Karen."
He smiled that infectious, crooked grin that used to make her tummy tingle. She noted idly her lack of reaction now and filed the thought away.
"Thanks Rachel, you're a great friend and I just want you to know that I appreciate you."
Her smile faded as he invaded her personal space and reached his arms out toward her. Dread pooled in the pit of her stomach, "No Finn, please." Her voice, that was so steady just seconds before, shook, and she pressed weakly at his chest as his long arms engulfed her. "Let me go," she beseeched and it must have been the quietness of her statement that made the Quarterback ignore her, but before Rachel could protest any further she felt Finns body, that had been pressing against her uncomfortably, jerk away. When the equalling imposing presence of Noah Puckerman pushed between them, Rachel realised why.
"Dude, what the hell?" Finn shouted, more surprised than angered.
"She told you to let her go." Rachel cringed at the hard edge in Puck's voice. Poor Finn, he had no idea that he was even distressing her.
The taller boy looked at Rachel for an explanation, his boyish features disarmingly perplexed. She shook her head, "It's fine Finn, you didn't do anything wrong." She reassured him, but the strain in her tone caused Puck's eyes to narrow.
'Right. Nothing wrong. Are you really going to let Golden Boy here, keep you as his little lay on the side?"
"My what?" Finn looked from Puck to Rachel in complete confusion, noting with interest the way Puck stood kind of between him and Rachel. 'Why are you so pissed man?"
"Because you fucked Berry, and then went and got it on with Goldilocks last night!" Puck erupted, his face reddening in anger as he stepped toward his former friend in a threatening manner. Rachel instinctively threw herself in front of the ropable left tackle and put a restraining hand to his heaving chest. "I didn't sleep with Finn." She assured him hastily, relieved when the mohawked boy looked at her and she could immediately see his fury subside.
"What?" Finn was exclaiming, his eyes popping out of his sockets. "No! I didn't, I mean I've never," he ran a hand through his brown hair, making the longer bits at the front stick out in a wayward angle. "You thought I had sex with Rachel?" He was finally able to form a cohesive sentence and just gaped at Puck.
Puck, for his part, could see the sincerity in Rachel and Finn's emphatic denials and was now unsure about the conclusion he had drawn, until he remembered the encounter in front of the pharmacy. Confident once more in his deduction he countered, "Ok, so you didn't have sex with Finn, but you don't take those pills without reason Berry." Puck stood firm with his arms crossed.
"Birth control pills?" Finn guessed, regarding Puck pityingly. "Dude, their not just for sex you know. Girls can also take them for when they like," he lowered his voice as if the subject was taboo "have lady problems, regularity and stuff."
Puck regarded the other boy in curiosity, wondering how the hell he knew about 'regularity' when Puck knew his knowledge on sex and reproduction in general was filled with large, gaping holes. The guy had actually believed he had got Quinn pregnant in a hot for fucks sake.
When Puck turned his gaze back on Berry, he was startled to see the pleading, almost desperate look she was giving him. Her eyes were screaming for him to shut the hell up and he reluctantly complied.
Finn was not oblivious to the silent conversation Puck and Rachel seemed to be engaged in and he appraised his former best friend. "I never thought I'd see the day when you had some moral code against being with more than one girl." He commented, a hint of malice in his even tone.
Puck shrugged indifferently. 'Hey man, you can stick your dick wherever you want as long as you keep Berry out of it."
"And what is it to you if something's going on with me and Rachel?" Finn pressed, genuinely curious and Puck felt his resolve snap and he snarled,
"Because if you want a quick fuck you go to Santana, you don't string Berry along like she doesn't deserve anything better. She's not just 'some girl'."
Finn suddenly smiled at him and it took all of Puck's self control not to drop tackle the guy and beat the living shit out of him. Finn was nodding, like he was just beginning to realize something then, after a pregnant pause, he shrugged. "I've got to get home; I promised my mom I'd mow the lawn today."
Rachel, bewildered by the whole exchange, thanked him for returning her phone and he answered her with a parting smile. After acknowledging Puck with a tilt of his head, his large frame ambled back to his car.
Puck turned from watching Finn back out of the driveway and spied Rachel trying to sneak into her house unawares.
"No way Berry." He smacked him palm against the wood as she attempted to close it behind her and pushed his way into the foyer.
Her shoulder dropped and she bowed her head in resignation, knowing he was like a dog with a bone but vainly hoping he would take pity on her and leave her be. "Please Noah, can we not do this? I can't deal with you right now."
The defeated look on her face was the red flag he'd been looking for. His intuition last night was spot on the money. She wasn't alright and he was damned if he was going to let her push him away before he got to the root of the problem. Puck frowned and pointed an accusing finger at her. "See, right there. That tone is what's going to keep me right here until your trap starts flapping and you tell me what the hell is going on with you!"
He marched into the living room and flung himself onto the sofa and she trailed after him, stopping to stand by the fireplace fidgeting nervously with the bottom of her sweater. Puck was glaring daggers at her and she bit her lip and looked away from the intensity of his stare. "Start talking Berry."
Rachel shook her head and glanced anywhere but him. "I don't have anything to say.' She murmured, "You're wasting your time."
He scoffed and leant forward so his elbows were resting on his knees. "You and I both know Berry, that you've always got something to say. Now judging by your little purchase this morning, sometime in the last couple of days you've gone and done the nasty, but apparently not with Finn."
"So the way I see it, after you saw Finn and his new wannabe Quinn, you got yourself so worked up in a jealous rage and jumped the next guy that passed by your crazy orbit, how am I doing so far?" A strong part of him was warning him to let go with the asshole act, but he was on a roll and the thought of Rachel having sex (most likely for the first time) with some random dude, made him so angry and jealous he could hardly see straight.
He quirked his eyebrow at her as if daring her to refute his allegations, but she was frozen in place, her eyes fixed at a spot on the carpet as his voice echoed around her.
Puck was oblivious to the effect his words were having, continuing to verbalize his speculations, supposing that maybe she drowned her sorrows in beer and let some ballsy tosser get handsy.
He had meant that thought to be flippant but suddenly his stomach clenched as a sickening possibility flittered through his brain, and as that suspicion took root snapshots of images appeared. Rachel crying in his arms at the party, her silence and unnatural behaviour on the ride home, and the telling morning after pills she had purchased.
"Berry." The tightness in his tone forced her to look at him and her breath caught when she saw the intensity in his burning hazel gaze. "Tell me that you willingly slept with someone, that they didn't force themselves-" He broke off and swallowed visibly as he felt bile creep up in his throat at the suggestion he was making.
There was no mistaking the shuttered expression that veiled her wide brown eyes and he jumped to his feet, his entire body vibrating with tension as she remained silent.
"Tell me," he began again 'That you weren't raped." Her flinch as he ground out the word was all the confirmation he needed, and he suddenly spun around on his heel to stare at the wall, his mind in overdrive trying to grasp what he had learned.
Rachel's legs began to wobble and she took a few shaky steps to sit on the edge of her Daddy's armchair. She felt light headed, with black spots appearing behind her eyelids as her heart seemed to clench in a vice like grip, sweat breaking out on her forehead. The lack of sleep coupled with the high anxiety she'd been experiencing since last night was trying to shut down her body. She tried to call out for him, but could barely recognise the "Noah" as it passed through her lips.
He turned back toward her when he heard her whisper his name and in a split second he had propelled himself across the room, Rachel literally coming undone in front of him. She was gasping for air now the pressure in her chest unbearable. He recognised the onset of a panic attack from years of watching his mother suffer through them and was quick to gently push her head between her knees, crouching in front of her. "Just breathe Rach, in and out."
Puck took her hands in his and squeezed lightly. She tried to shake off his grip and seemed to shrink back into the chair but he held firm, stroking his thumbs over her knuckles. "Come on babe. In and out, in and out." He coached encouragingly, repeating the words over and over for several minutes until it seemed like it was working and the tremors that were shuddering through her body evened, her gasps shorter and softer.
When she seemed to have gained control of her breathing Puck lifted her with ease so he could slide onto the seat, cradling her body in his lap. His movements were so smooth that she hadn't realized what he'd done until she felt the hardness of his torso pressed against her side, and the warmth of his body soak into her own.
She automatically placed her palm against his chest wanting to push him away but instead, Rachel found herself bunching fingers into his shirt and snuggling closer, burying her face into the crook of his neck. A part of her was resisting having him so close, she couldn't seem to make her body understand that she was safe, when the slightest movement or touch could set off the alarm bells and plunge her into a panic.
Puck felt her hot tears soak through his thin t-shirt and he held her tighter, resting his cheek upon her hair as she cried.
"Shh, it's ok." He reassured her quietly, even though it wasn't. "You don't have to tell me anything if you don't want to." Though he was burning to ask a thousand questions, he knew now was not the time.
She lifted her head and her nose accidentally brushed his, "I can't Noah. I meant it when I said I don't have anything to say." She exhaled shakily and ventured hesitantly, 'I'm sure something was slipped in my soda last night, I don't remember any of it, I just woke up and-" She couldn't finish. His eyes darkened as they searched hers, the raw pain and turmoil apparent in her watery chocolate depths made his blood boil. Whoever was responsible for putting that look there, just signed their own death certificate. When he found out who'd touched her, there'd be not much of a body left to identify, that much he was certain.
"You haven't reported it." It was more a statement than a question, and Rachel shook her head before resting against his shoulder. "Have you told your Dads?"
"I haven't told anyone." She was a dead weight against him, exhausted and emotionally spent. He swallowed thickly, feeling a heavy sense of responsibility settle on his shoulders for the tiny brunette. "Rach, I'm a little out of my depth here."
Understatement of the century.
"I have no idea what you need me to do, but I think I should be telling you that you have to see a doctor in case that-" Puck paused trying to find the right word, "Motherfucker hurt you. I mean, more than-" he trailed off, forced to acknowledge again that she had been sexually assaulted. He was silent for a few minutes, just holding her, rubbing circles soothingly over her back.
The guilt was starting to set in, along with an overwhelming sense of inadequacy. He felt like he'd failed her. Rachel had been a mess last night and he'd driven her home completely oblivious to her suffering, and just left her even when everything in him had told him to stay.
"You have to tell your Dads. This is not something you can keep from them."
"I will, I just can't seem to say the words." Her voice was so soft and lost. "There are going to be so many questions and I don't have answers."
"All I have is the realization of what had happened when I woke up, and having to remember that and retell how I felt…." She trailed off, shaking her head as if to ward off the images. "How do you think my parents are going to take that? What am I supposed to tell them?"
Puck had no idea. 'We'll figure it out ok? You don't need to worry anymore. I'm here, you're safe and somehow we'll get through it." The conviction in his statement comforted her more than it should. Rachel had a feeling that her ordeal was far from over, but she'd deal with that later. Right now she was worn out and in desperate need of the security he provided, so she gave up fighting her heavy eyelids and let his gentle ministrations lull her to sleep.
AN 2: Mark Salling, can you please 'lull' me to sleep??
