Act II, Scene 2: I Feel Ya, Ophelia
A room.
Enter Polonius.
Enter Ophelia, running.
Polonius: Ophelia, what's wrong?
Ophelia: O my lord, my lord, I have had such a fright!
Polonius: By what?
Ophelia: Well, you remember you told me to play hard-to-get with Hamlet?
Polonius: Well, no, I told you not to return his affections or encourage him in any way.
Ophelia: Well, isn't that the same thing? Anyway, this morning I started a big fight with him over some shepherd girl, and then I stormed out.
Polonius: And then what happened?
Ophelia: My lord, as I was primping in my hut,
Lord Hamlet, with a mustache drawn on's lip
Beret upon his head, his shoes untied,
Holes in his pockets, his knees knocking together -
He comes before me.
Polonius: Mad for thy love?
Ophelia: I think so.
Polonius: What said he?
Ophelia: He grabbed me by the wrist and gave me flowers,
Then kissed me up the whole length of my arm.
Calling me "passion flower" and other names,
He bade me come with him to the Casbah,
And shouted he was "mad, mad, mad" for me.
Polonius: What did you do?
Ophelia: I told him that I'd left some water boiling
And had to go. And so I broke away.
Wow! Playing hard-to-get sure seems to work!
Polonius: Come, go with me, I will go seek the king.
This is the very ecstasy of love.
Ophelia: (Shrugs.) Or maybe it's just growing pains.
Exeunt.
