Target 6 - II: Pool Party! With the Varia!


So, I'm gonna leave a warning, because I ended up writing this when I was in crack or something.

:P


Warning:

Author's horrible grammar and possibly the flow of the story.

The OOC-ness of every single one of the KHR casts.

And constant (4th) wall breaking.


DISCLAIMER: If I owned Katekyo Hitman Reborn, I would make Squalo's hair longer.


[Narrator POV]

"YOU BRATS HAVE SOME NERVES P!SSING ME OFF!"

"HIEEEE! S-Squalo-san!?"

"VOOIIII! WHAT THE FVCK ARE YOU DOING HERE, VONGOLA BRAT!?"

"I-I SHOULD BE ASKING YOU THE SAME THING!"

"HUH!? JUST BECAUSE YOU'RE THE BOSS, DOESN'T MEEN YOU CAN TALK BACK TO ME! VOIII!"

"HIEEEEE—!"

"Shut up." Reborn kicked Tsuna right in the face, sending him to the pool.

"T-Tenth!" Hayato dove in to rescue his Vongola Boss.

"It's been a long time, Squalo," Reborn just greeted. "Are the rest of the Varia here?"

"Yeah, except Lussuria because he want to attend Lady Gugu's concert," the swordman clicked his tongue in annoyance. "Anyways, WHY ARE YOU VONGOLA BRATS DOING HERE!?"

Then Squalo held the girl up to show her to the teens and the children. "AND WHO THE FVCK IS THIS!?"

"Ah, that would be Dame-Tsuna's girlfriend." Reborn smirked, causing his own student to choke on his own saliva than from the pool water.

"W-WHAT!?"

"Really now~?" Squalo smirked at the brunette. "VOI! Glad that the Vongola Brat is becoming a man!"

"He even got good taste too, kora!"

"She got the guns."

"HIEEE! STOP WITH THAT TOPIC AGAIN!" Tsuna shrieked. "A-AND SHE'S NOT MY GIRLFRIEND!"

"Wow, way to dump a girl, voi."

"SHE'S JUST MY FRIEND, SQUALO-SAN!" The brunette felt like crying, because of this messed up misunderstanding that was purposely brought onto him.

"Ah, sorry," Reborn apologized, somehow making Tsuna sigh in relief. Only for a short while, though. "She's Dame-Tsuna's fiancee."

"EEEH!? R-REBORN! STOP WITH YOUR MISCHIEF ALREADY!"

"A Mafia Boss needs to find a fiancee for the next Vongola Heir, Dame-Tsuna."

"STOP WITH THE MAFIA BOSS BUSINESS ALREADY!"

"Oi! Baseball idiot! Defend the Tenth already, d mmit!" Hayato shouted at the girl, who is still in the swordman's arms.

Takemi, who was busy playing with Squalo's long hair, looked up before laughing in an embarrassed way.

"Haha~ Sorry about that," She held the braided path of the man's hair. "I got distracted by how silky Squalo's hair is!"

"You son of a ba—!"

"VOOIII!" Squalo yelled at the girl in his arms. "How the fvck do you know who I am, b!tch!?"

"Hm?" Takemi looked up to smile at the Italian man. "Haha~ It's me, Yamamoto Takeshi! Well, my name now is Takemi since I'm a girl, so just call me Take-chii~"

Both of the Rain Guardians just stared deep into each other's eyes, but with Takemi just smiling brightly while Squalo is just plain confused, as he was trying to put the pieces together but failed.

It started to tick him off.

"VOOIIII! CAN SOMEONE JUST EXPLAIN WHAT THE FVCK IS GOING ON!?"

"HIEEEEE!"


"Y-Yeah, so that was the situation..." Tsuna gave a nervous laugh, as he was cautiously looking at the swordman sitting across him.

The group were in one of the food court of the resort, specifically they're in the ice cream parlor.

Squalo took a bite from his ice pop before looking at Takemi with an unreadable expression.

"Voi. You look good as a girl."

"Haha! Thanks, Squalo!" Takemi smiled a bit with a hint of embarrassment and a small blush on her cheeks.

"Y-You're taking this situation surprisingly well, Squalo-san..." Tsuna sweatdropped at that.

"VOI! I'M JUST LOOKING AT THE BRIGHT SIDE, BRAT!"

"And that would be Yamamoto's breasts, neh, Squalo~?" Reborn smirked, along with Colonello, when the man started blushing bright red.

Tsuna's entire head turn crimson red, and so was Hayato, who immediately grabbed Takemi's hoodie just to suddenly zip it up, with the Italian boy earning a surprised squeak from the taller girl.

"VOOIII! WHAT THE H3LL ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT, MIDGET!?"

"That's pedophilia, kora!"

"You could go to jail, even if you're from a famiglia, Squalo."

"CAN WE JUST STOP THIS CONVERSATION!?" Tsuna cut in, with his face, neck, and ears were bright red. "A-And Yamamoto-chan is right here!"

"Ah, so you suggest on talking about THAT when she's not around, kora!?"

"Dame-Tsuna is a pervert~" Reborn sang mockingly, just to make fun of the-barely-conscious-boy-who-is-about-to-faint-from-blushing student.

"R-Reborn! I-I thought you said we should respect women!"

"Hmm.. You got me there, since I'm a lady's man," Reborn pouted cutely at his student. "You're no fun, Dame-Tsuna."

"Yeah, kora!"

"THAT CONVERSATION ISN'T FUN AT ALL!"

"VOOOIII! QUIT SCREAMING, VONGOLA BRAT!"

Tsuna wanted to shriek, but held himself back and just ended up letting out a yelp instead.

Squalo growled at the brunette before flopping back against the chair, and took a huge bite of his ice pop.

"So, even the Mist Convict is here? I'm surprised that your Cloud is here too, voi." The man has his eyes on a certain prefect, in purple swimming trunks and a white hawaiian shirt, walking passed the ice cream parlor.

"Ah, Hibari-san and Mutsuko, yeah..." Tsuna nodded, only for him to realize something. "By the way, where is she?"

"AAAAAAAAAHHHHHH!"

The group immediately turned their heads to where that scream was coming from, finding civillians running away from something.

"A KRAKEN!"

"What the fvck?" Squalo was the first to react.


Meanwhile, at the largest pool of the resort where a giant octopus, which was mistaken for an actual kraken, sat.

On top of the sea monster was Mutsuko with her trident out, her red eye has the kanji number of three.

"Kufufufu~ Such a horrid greeting to your mistress, little froggy." She grinned angrily at the Varia's young Mist Guardian, who was staring blankly at her even though the boy was being held tightly in one of the tentacles of the octopus.

"Lady, I don't know who you are but you remind me of an annoying pineapple head master." Fran told the girl with that monotone voice, only ticking the said girl off even more.

"You are so uncute, Fran-kun," Mutsuko growled in annoyance. "Your existence should be eradicated!"

"M-Mutsuko!"

The two Mist Guardians and the octopus looked down to find the future Neo-Vongola Primo by the pool, with the rest of the group.

"Put Fran down, Mutsuko!" Tsuna was staring at the two and the gian sea creature in fear and panic.

"B-But Tsunayoshi-kun...!" Mutsuko had her teary puppy eyes on her face. "He was being a bully!"

"I was just telling the truth, lady." Fran told the girl, only for his froggy hat to be pierced with the Mist Lady's trident.

"Shut up!" The teenage girl shouted at her apprentice, as she was stabbing the poor boy.

"W-What am I gonna do!?" Tsuna started panicking, as he heard a distant sound of the police sirens. "Mutsuko will end up destroying the place!"

"Then do something to get her attention, Dame-Tsuna."

"H-HOW!?"

"Think of something, kora!" Both Colonello and Reborn gave the brunette a good kick on both of his legs, knocking the poor teen down and falling flat on the ground on his face.

"Oh!" Takemi put her left fist on her right palm, showing that she just got an idea. "I have an idea~"

"Then do it, Baseball Idiot!"

"Okay, okay~ Haha~" Takemi laughed before calling out to her fellow genderbent victim. "Mutsuko! Come down! Tsuna is gonna give you a kiss if you do!"

"W-What!?" Tsuna rose up from the floor, his eyes bulging out in shock.

"Really, Tsunayoshi-kun?" Mutsuko appeared beside him, hugging his arm as her eyes sparkles at the thought.

"W-Wait! I-I didn't say any of that!"

Those words caused tears to form on those mismatched eyes.

"Okay! Okay!" Tsuna yielded, feeling guilty for making a girl cry, even though this girl used to be a guy who wants to possess him.

Mutsuko's eyes beamed brightly before closing them, and puckered her rosy lips at the Vongola Don.

The brunette felt somewhat uncomfortable, even though he's blushing like a mad man. Hayato can't even save him because Bianchi came with a camera to picture the moment Sawada Tsunayoshi will get his first kiss taken (by a girl), so the Bomber basically fainted with foam coming out of his mouth.

Along with Bianchi, the remaining-ish people in the resort (the Vongola, the Shimon, and the Varia) were watching the scene in amusement (most of them anyways). I mean, who wouldn't wanna see the Vongola whimp kiss a girl, AND he will be the one initiating the kiss and not the girl?

It's definitely a scene anyone would pay lots to see. So Mammon decided to take photos of it and sell it to random mafia people who would like to see the Decimo kiss a cute girl.

Tsuna closed his eyes shut before slowly leaning towards Mutsuko.

But, unfortunately for the Mist Lady but kinda fortunate for Tsuna, the octopus threw Fran directly at the brunette, knocking him away from the girl.

Mutsuko glared (pouted) at the octopus. "Bad! Bad Octavius!"

'She even named the monster?' Almost everyone had the same thought.

The octopus got angry, because his intention was to save her but he got scolded instead. So therefore, the monster threw a tantrum, going completely berserk.

"HIEEEEE! HE'S DESTROYING EVERYTHING!"

Then the brunette heard distant screams from civillians around the resort.

"T-THERE ARE STILL CIVILLIANS!"

"Man, how I missed using this," Reborn smirked before pointing his Leon-Gun at Tsuna. "Go and save them with your dying will!"

BANG!

"REBORN!" There was no clothe-ripping scene since he's only wearing his swimming trunks. "I WILL GET EVERYONE OUT OF THIS RESORT WITH ME DYING WILL!"

In exactly 3 minutes and 30 seconds, everyone, including the three mafia families (yes, Tsuna also carried Xanxus and Kyoya out of the resort), were brought outside to safety by the Vongola Don. 1 minute was used to get Octavius and brought him to the ocean. The remaining 30 seconds was used to run back to the destroyed resort, regrouping with everyone.

And fortunately, during that rescue, the brunette also brought the out the family named Perle Famiglia, a group of mafioso dealing with the selling of girls to auctions and using the resort as the way to kidnap said girls, and which the Varia was looking for and they were instantly captured.

Unfortunately for the Varia, they were asked to bring the family without leaving a trace— meaning that the old man doesn't wanna see a news report of a destroyed resort. So, the Ninth is gonna give them a LONG lecture, but not that long since the old man knew that the Vongola and the Shimon participated in helping the assassins with their job.

All is well.


Sort of.

"... So, you're staying here?" Tsuna asked the Varia members, who are in his house, with a blank look.

"Shishishi~ Got a problem with that, peasant~?" Belphegor grinned at the brunette, as three knives appeared between his fingers, pointing at him.

"Just asking, so my mom could do groupings." Tsuna just sat down beside Takemi, who is having a talk with Squalo.

Mutsuko gone back to Kokuyo Land to sulk, with Chrome as well. The Genderbent victim also doesn't wanna face Fran or else she'll probably summon Octavius' sister or something, and the Vongola Boss wouldn't like that.

Kyoya already left from the resort and going home to take a nap.

Ryohei left to find Octavius to have a boxing match with the monster, since back at the resort, he haven't gotten the opportunity to meet him.

The Shimon also gone back to their place in Namimori, where they used to stay before Tsuna's Inheritance Ceremony. So, that leaves Tsuna, with Takemi and Hayato, plus the Varia.

"Ah!"

Tsuna looked up from his dazed moment, only to start blushing crimson red when Xanxus reached out to grope Takemi's breast.

"Huh, so they're real."

"VOII! WHAT THE FVCK, BOSS!?" Squalo screamed at his boss, along with Hayato. "WHAT THE H3LL ARE YOU DOING, SSHOLE!?"

Levi also shouted as well, but his target was Takemi. Kami-sama doesn't give a fvck about the man, so she didn't even bother writing a dialogue of him, since in the end he'll just be ignored.

"X-Xanxus-san! P-Please let go!" Yes, the Varia Boss still had his large hand on the girl's breast.

Fortunately for Tsuna, the man let go. Of course, the brunette also heard the man muttering, "Loads of stupid ss sh!t happening around the brat."

Which is true that sometimes Tsuna thinks he's cursed by Kami-sama or something.

"Rain Guardian, wear a bikini again." Mammon holds up a camera.

"Haha~ But we're back at Tsuna's place!"

"You can use the kiddie pool, Yamamoto." Reborn squeezed in the fun.

"I suggest you wear the string bikini, kora!"

"Maa maa~ Isn't that a bit too revealing?" Takemi gave the three ex-Arcobaleno children an embarrassed smile, as she was recalling Adelheid's bikini.

"But it would look sexy—"

"J-JUST SHUT UP, ALL OF YOU! STOP ALL THIS NONSENSE!"

"You're such a kill joy, Dame-Tsuna."

"You won't get a chick that way, kora!"

"I agree with the petty soldier, Vongola Decimo."

"VOI! I SECOND THAT!"

"Ushishishi~ Poor you, Decimo~"

"I almost pity you, Decimo-san."

"Tch. Trash."

"QUIT EMBARRASSING THE TENTH, SSHOLES!"

"Make me, peasant~"

"YOU FVCKING PRINCESS!"

"I knew senpai was a princess. I'm not alone."

STAB! STAB!

"Ouch."

"Shut up, frog!"

"Oi! You're ignoring me, sshole!"

"Ushishi~ Don't worry! The prince haven't forgotten about you~"

"Motherfvcking punk!" Hayato has brought out his dynamites.

"W-WAIT! Gokudera-kun! Put the dynamites awa—!"

BOOM!


What a lovely weekend.

I thought I was gonna go seriously dramatic on this, but it ended up as a crack one.

I still wanna keep up that randomness of this fanfic. Hopefully I haven't lose my touch.

And I just love having everyone basically torturing Tsuna by embarrassing him with the use of Takemi and Mutsuko, and their cuteness.

Because I wanna bully the Decimo.


GOAL for the Next Chapter - 700 views


REVIEWS:

To Midnight49:

Aren't you a happy camper? (This is a compliment btw) And I gotta admit that you predicted almost every possible scenario for the passed three reviews you sent.

Well, since I admitted your right, Byakuran WILL appear BUT not as a girl. He's not in my next victim.

And yes, one (or maybe two, you never know) outside the two families will be turned into girl/s. Again, I won't tell, because where's the fun in that?