A/N: So I feel I need to clarify some things about this vague AU. That whole weird Evil Witch!Lana thing and the Kryptonian Stones of Power? Never happened. The Crystal of Knowledge was probably stashed in the caves somewhere with the rest of Jor-El's junk, and Lana didn't come back from Paris until about half a year or so before this story starts. Which of course also means the whole Clark/Lana/Lex love triangle didn't happen either.


Conner soon hit a snag in his brilliant plan, namely that he didn't have one. He had a really good idea, but no plan to put it into motion. That was what Tim was supposed to be helping him with, but the other boy was steadfastly refusing to do any plotting. Conner was fairly certain he'd be able to get Tim to help him if he did come up with some sort of zany scheme, but until then he was stuck.

It wasn't that Conner was dumb. He was actually pretty good at thinking on his feet, but he just hadn't inherited his Father's gift for coming up with elaborate and fool-proof plans. Well, fool-proof until Superman got involved, so maybe that particular gift wouldn't have been much help anyways. Conner tried drawing from all sorts of different sources for help – he even watched The Parent Trap, both versions – and still nothing.

The problem, aside from the fact that he didn't have a long lost twin, was that his dads spent next to no time together. Conner was more or less trusted to get around the city by himself, so neither of them felt the need to ferry him from one house to the other. His Dad continued to write the occasional story about LexCorp, but they never really required any direct contact between the two of them, and Conner was of the firm opinion that press conferences didn't count. They had even stopped interacting very much as Superman and Luthor. Superman still made a point of stopping any of LexCorp's morally corrupt projects, but he rarely tried to lecture Conner's Father about it afterward any more, and when they did talk it was kept brief and civil. Conner rather suspected they were trying to save him from the trauma of having publically feuding parents, which Conner did appreciate in the abstract, but made his job a lot more difficult.

Eventually Conner decided that his best option would be to just wait for a good opportunity to present itself, and then jump on it. And in the meantime he could keep bugging Tim.

Conner was munching on a bowl of cereal one Saturday afternoon when his dad came in the door, rifling through the mail. The various and assorted letters and catalogues got set down on the counter in favor of a thick ivory envelope.

"Fancy," Conner commented. "Who's it from?"

"Lana," his Dad answered sounding pleased and slightly intrigued. "I wonder what it could be; I haven't talked to her in ages."

His Dad unfolded the letter and read it, eyes widening slightly in surprise. "Oh wow."

"What is it?" Conner asked, craning over to try and see the paper in his Dad's hands.

His Dad offered it over to Conner while replying. "Lana's getting married… to Pete."

"Pete?" Conner repeated, scanning the letter for himself. "Pete Ross, your old friend from Smallville? Your best friend is marrying your One True Love? Harsh."

"Conner," his Dad said, bemused, "you do know that Lana isn't actually my One True Love, right?"

"Oh, believe me I know," Conner replied with a sly grin. "It's just funnier if she is."

"Funnier for who?"

"For me mostly," Conner said. "Well, me and Chloe. And Father."

"You talked to Lex about my ex-girlfriend?" his Dad asked, startled.

"Your love life in general," Conner corrected, seizing on the opportunity. "He finds it interesting." It wasn't, strictly speaking, a lie; his Father did seem interested whenever Conner brought the subject up. And if the way Conner phrased it made it sound like his Father was the one bringing it up, well…

"He does? That's –"

The ringing of a cell phone cut through the air and his Dad pulled it out with an apparent sense of relief.

"Hey Chloe… Yeah, I just got it."

Conner strained his super-hearing to try and listen to Chloe's side of the conversation. His Dad, who somehow knew what he was doing, rolled his eyes and put the phone on speaker.

"–s and Lana Lang? Who saw that one coming?"

"It's Dad's Best Friend and his One True Love!" Conner chimed in.

Chloe burst out laughing. "Oh poor Clark! Do you need some time to brood?"

"No, I do not need time to brood," his Dad said, glaring alternatively at his phone and Conner. "I'm not a teenaged boy anymore."

"You'll always be that doofy teenaged boy to me Clark," she assured him.

"Thanks, Chloe," his Dad replied drily. "But my teenaged romantic woes aside, isn't this a little fast? I mean, Lana's only been back in the States for about a year. When did they even start dating?"

"When I heard Lana was moving to New York City I gave her Pete's email address, because I thought she might like to see a familiar face." Chloe answered. "I guess she must have contacted him right away, and things would have just gone from there. And you know how Lana is; when she's in a relationship she always just throws all of herself into it."

"True," his Dad agreed. "Well, hopefully it works out from them. So are you planning on going?"

"You think this city girl is going to miss out on an opportunity to go to New York? I might drop off an application at the New York Times while I'm there," Chloe joked. Well, she was probably joking. Maybe. "What about you, Clarkbar? Going to go to the wedding of your best friend and your One True Love?" Conner snickered and his Dad gave him a look.

"I was planning on it. With any luck, this time will turn out better than the last wedding I was supposed to go to."

"Was that Lex and Helen's wedding?" Chloe asked. "You did kind of leave him high and dry from what I hear. Probably a good thing Pete didn't make you his best man."

From there Chloe and his Dad got into a debate about how good of a best man he would make, but Conner tuned them out. He had just realized that his Father was probably invited to this wedding too. He and Lana had been friends, plus he had bought her a coffee shop; she pretty much had to invite him to her wedding after that. And wedding were supposed to be super romantic, not to mention his dads would actually be in the same room together. This was Conner's chance.

"Hey Dad," Conner said, interrupting Chloe claiming his Dad made a horrible best man because Conner's Father's first wife had tried to seduce his Dad, which Conner was definitely asking about later. "Can I go to the wedding too?"

"You want to go Conner?" his Dad asked, surprised.

"I have to meet your One True Love Dad!" Conner told him, which was true, even if it wasn't exactly the reason he had decided he wanted to go.

His Dad looked a little chagrined at Conner's response, but replied good-naturedly enough. "Sure, if you really want. If I don't bring you, I'll probably have to bring Lois as my plus one and something tells me you'll be better behaved."

Chloe laughed. "That's for sure."

"Hey Chlo, you don't mind watching Conner for me if I have to, you know, 'go take care of something,' do you?" requested his Dad.

"Sure thing. Conner and I can even go see the sights of the city together," Chloe confirmed.

"Well," Conner said standing up, "I've got to go tell the Titans I'm going to be busy that weekend. Talk to you later Chloe."

"Bye Conner," Chloe called, and his Dad nodded at him before picking up his cell phone and turning it off speaker.

Conner walked off to his room and closed the door. He did send out a quick text to let his teammates know what was up, but when he made an actual phone call it wasn't to any of the Titans.

"Hello Conner," said his Father. "Hold on just a second, will you?"

"Sure," Conner agreed, listening to the sounds of fingers taping on the keyboard in the background.

"Alright," his Father said with one final click. "What's up?"

"Sorry, were you busy?" Conner asked.

"Just some work, nothing I can't do later."

Conner frowned. "I thought you weren't working on weekends anymore."

"I don't work on weekends when I have you," his Father corrected. "Other weekends are fair game."

Conner's frown deepened. His Dad was always telling him how essential it was to balance responsibilities with personal enjoyment, and the importance of not over-working yourself. Of course, his Dad was talking about superhero stuff, but the principle was likely the same. Still, right now was probably not the time to bring that up.

"Did you get an invitation to Lana's wedding?" Conner asked instead. "Are you planning on going?"

"Yes and no," his Father answered.

"No," Conner protested, "you have to come."

"Why's that?"

"Because Dad is taking me with him and I wanted you to go too," replied Conner. "We can go explore New York City together," he added temptingly. He wouldn't have even thought about it if Chloe hadn't made the offer earlier, but it did sound like fun.

"I see," his Father said drily. "Are you sure that's why you want me to come?"

"I really want to go see New York with you." The statement was true, even if it wasn't exactly the answer to the question.

"Alright then, I guess I'll go after all," his Father conceded in a tone that said 'I know you're up to something, but I'm going to go along with it anyway.' "I'm going to have to find myself a date now."

"Bring Hope," Conner interjected.

"Hope?"

"Well, you could ask Mercy, but she'll probably say no because I don't really think weddings are her thing. Then you'll have to ask Hope anyway, so might as well save yourself the time," Conner explained.

"And why am I bringing one of my bodyguards as my date?"

"Because then you can bring a bodyguard, which you know you're going to want to do anyway, without it being really awkward. More importantly, you won't have some random lady hanging all over you and keeping us from hanging out." If it also meant that neither of his dads would be at the wedding with a real date, well that was just a coincidence.

"I suppose having to spend the whole time with some woman would defeat the purpose of going," his Father agreed. "But I think I'll ask Mercy and Hope, and then let the two of them duke it out for the honor of taking me."

Conner laughed. "My money's still on Mercy throwing the match."

"Duly noted," his Father responded. "Is there anything else you needed?"

"Nope," Conner said. "I'll see you on Wednesday, Father. Love you."

"I love you too. Bye," his Father said before hanging up.

Conner grinned. Phase One was a success. Now he just had to figure out Phase Two… Time to bug Tim some more.