Chapter 7

Carlton Lassiter came in to the office the next morning to find Henry Spencer sitting at his desk, leaned back in the chair, feet on the desk, rotating a pair of Baoding balls in his hand, resembling a modern day Captain Bligh.

"Henry?"

"Carlton, I'd like to speak to you."

Puzzled Carlton said, "Okay, so we're speaking..."

"Privately."

"Henry, I don't..."

Henry cut him off, "Now, Detective."

Carlton did not like the tone of his voice. "Fine, Mr. Spencer. Follow me." And led the way to one of the empty attorney-client rooms.

Carlton walked in first, turning as Henry Spencer locked the door. And was taken by surprise when Henry grabbed him by the lapels of his jacket and shoved him roughly against the wall. "Henry what the hell?"

Henry took advantage of his surprise by pinning him to the wall with his hand around Carlton's neck. "My son," he said through clenched teeth, "is no one's dirty little secret." Henry smiled with grim determination as he saw the color leave the detective's face. "Yeah that's right, you should be worried." Henry let go and backed away.

Carlton tried to look unconcerned and brushed and straightened out his suit jacket. "This is none your business Henry."

"He's my only son and when someone else is making him this miserable it becomes my business. Look I know this kind of thing is tough for a cop but I thought you were a better man than this Carlton. "

"I don't know what you are talking about."

"Yes you do, don't play stupid with me-you don't do it half as well as Shawn does and I can see right through him. You need to do the right thing, either end it if you don't have the guts to be with him or make it right. If you don't, I will make you pay. And no, I won't out you, that would be too easy and Shawn doesn't want that. But mark my words, I have many many more years of experience than you in making people more miserable than you could ever possibly imagine." And Henry started to walk away.

Carlton tried to stop him, "Henry listen…"

"This conversation is over; you just need to decide what you're going to do. Goodbye Detective Lassiter."

Carlton Lassiter didn't know how long he sat there before he got up to leave the room.

"I'll kill him! "

"Now Gus, there is no need for violence."

"Who said anything about violence? I have samples and I know all about drug interactions. No one would ever know. Just say the word."

"Gus it's very sweet of you to offer to kill my boyfriend but no."

"You're not still calling him your boyfriend after last night are you?"

Shawn looked away.

"Shawn!"

"I don't know; I have to think."

"Well, you think long and hard. I can't believe I am saying this out loud but Lassiter does not deserve you."

"Thanks buddy."

Carlton was lonely and depressed and didn't know what to do. It was three days later and Shawn wouldn't answer the phone. He wouldn't reply to his messages. Gus wouldn't answer the phone. Hell, Henry wouldn't even answer the phone. He tried going by the Psych office but no one was ever there. Or at least no one would answer the door. He went by Shawn's apartment but he was never home and the locks had been changed. He knew better than to go by Henry's or Gus's. They'd probably kill him on sight. Well, Henry would, Gus might try to poison him. He didn't even know why he was trying so hard. It wasn't as if he knew what he was going to say to Shawn. He liked his life the way it was. Carlton didn't like change. His divorce was almost too much for him to bear and Shawn was like a hurricane that had torn into his life and destroyed everything in its path. And Carlton was just trying to hang on to the bits and pieces of his old life. And it wasn't working. There was a giant Shawn-shaped hole in his life.

"Carlton, are you okay?"

Carlton was startled of his funk by his partner looking with him with concern.

"Yeah I'm fine."

"You don't look fine. Did your girlfriend breakup with you?"

"My girlfriend?"

"The one Shawn set you up with?"

"He didn't-I don't have-Uh-maybe. I don't know."

"Well I wondered. Especially, since you brought Victoria to the dinner."

"There's nothing going on between me and Victoria," Carlton said automatically.

"I don't think she realizes that. Then why didn't you bring your girlfriend?"

"I didn't think we were that serious."

"Seriously? Carlton, you really need to work on your interpersonal skills. You probably really hurt her feelings. That's terrible."

"I think I've figured that out by now."

"Have you tried talking to her?"

"I would if any of my calls got returned"

"Oh Carlton."

Carlton was out on a call when Shawn finally called. He nodded at O'Hara to take over and walked to where he could hear. At this point he was so desperate and miserable that he didn't care who could hear him.

"Shawn!"

"Carlton, I can't do this anymore. I know you have this need to be taken seriously, but so do I. You don't take my job seriously despite all Gus and I have done for this department. But that's okay, my dad doesn't either, hell I'm not sure that even Gus does. But dammit, you don't take me, us, seriously and I can't live like that."

"Shawn, can I see you please? So we can talk?"

"I'm not sure what you can say."

"I'm not either. But give me a chance. You know I don't like to give up." He swore he heard Shawn start to chuckle.

"Yeah I know you're pretty stubborn Lassie."

"So, dinner tomorrow?"

"Let me guess at my apartment or your house?"

Carlton grimaced, it stung. "I guess I deserve that. Wherever you want."

"Red Robin?"

Carlton laughed and made a choking noise. "If you want."

"Well you really are trying. No just get us some take out and come over. We probably should be private to talk."

"Thank you."

"And Lassie, I don't know if this will ever work but God I'd like to try. I've never felt like this about anyone else before."

Carlton Lassiter was absolutely speechless. He felt like he had giant lump in his throat.

"I'll see you tomorrow night."

When Carlton came back, Juliet looked at him questioningly. "Were you talking to Shawn? He hasn't been by the station all week."

"Uh yeah."

"Did he say what was going on?"

"Oh, uh, he's angry with me."

"Shawn angry? He almost never gets angry."

"I may have been a little overly uh abrasive last time we talked."

"Carlton! You should apologize."

"Yeah I should."

Juliet looked at him with a startled look on her face. He said what?

"Anyway, what do we have?"

They got back to work.

Carlton clearly needed to talk to someone about this, but couldn't figure out to whom. He wasn't the kind of man who had a lot of very close friends. Henry was obviously out, besides what did he know about relationships, he was divorced too. O'Hara was a possibility, she certainly wouldn't judge him for being in a relationship with Shawn, but frankly she was too naïve and probably a closet romantic to boot. Besides she had no long term relationships under her belt either. There was only one person he knew that had a successful career and long term relationship. He sighed, got up and walked down the hall.

Chief Karen Vick was startled to see her Head Detective knocking on her door.

"Excuse me Karen, can I come in?"

"Sure Carlton, have a seat. Can I help you with something?"

"Well, you know I don't talk much about my personal life."

"I've noticed."

"It's about Shawn."

"Look if you are coming to me to complain…"

"No, it's not that. You've been married for quite a while now right?"

Karen furrowed her brow and replied, "Yes. I'm not really sure where you're going with this Carlton."

"Well, you've probably had to fight some prejudice along the way to work your way as far up the ranks as you have right? And you seem to be happily married. I mean you even have a kid."

"Ye-ah."

He stood and started pacing. "I mean other cops manage okay despite obvious disadvantages. Women, minorities, McNabb. I could be a leader, maybe a role model." He stopped and looked at her, "Your husband, he supports you right?"

Her face softened, "Yeah, he's great."

"He doesn't mind all the hours you put in or if your mind's on work."

"No he doesn't. He understands me."

Carlton nodded, "He understands you. You know, Victoria never did."

"So, I've heard. Carlton, sit down and tell me what on earth is going on."

He sat. "Well Shawn is not Victoria."

"No. He's not. He's… Oh."

"Yeah."

"I see. Is this new?"

He nodded, "A couple of months."

"But you brought Victoria to the dinner."

"We're just friends."

"I'm not sure she's aware of that. Why not Shawn?"

"I uh. I mean he," he paused. "I wasn't ready."

"I'm guessing Mr. Spencer wasn't happy about that."

Carlton slumped down in the chair. "No, he wasn't."

"Carlton, what is it exactly that you want from me?"

He looked at her plaintively, "Tell me what to do."

She almost smiled, but worried that if she allowed herself to do that the incipient hysterical laughter she had been holding in would bubble up to the surface. Lassiter wouldn't understand, he'd think she was making fun of him. He was a man who greatly valued his dignity. Dignity. That was so important to him and everything about having a homosexual relationship with a flamboyant self-styled psychic detective had to be against every instinct he had ever had. Well not every instinct. She tamped that thought down. For later.

She stood up, leaned her hands on her desk and looked down into his eyes, "What is it that you want?"

Without hesitating he said, "Shawn."

She raised her eyebrows at him.

He nodded, got up and started to walk away.

"And Carlton, whatever you decide, you're still my Head Detective."

He turned back to her, gave her a faint smile and nodded, "Thanks."

After Lassiter left, Karen stared at her coffee and wondered if it had been laced with something. That was the only possible reason for the air of unreality that permeated her talk with him. She hoped she had helped but honest to God she had no idea what the right answer for Carlton Lassiter was. She just hoped the fallout didn't screw up the department's case clearance rate.

Carlton wasn't really paying attention to his surroundings as he walked back to his desk thinking about his conversation with Karen. So he was totally shocked when his partner punched him in the arm. Hard.

"O'Hara! What the hell?"

"That was for keeping secrets from your partner!" And then, she punched him again.

"Dammit Juliet!"

"And that's for being a heartless bastard to Shawn!"

"Oww! What?"

"Why would you do that to him Carlton? I always thought you were," she paused trying to find the right word, "honorable. I'm so disappointed in you."

"Well stand in line," he said miserably.

Her face softened, "You could have told me."

He shook his head, "No not really. How did you find out? Did Guster tell you?"

She shook her head, "No one had to tell me Carlton. I'm a detective remember? It took me a while because, seriously? I never expected it. In retrospect it seems totally obvious. All the little pieces fit together."

He gave her a wan smile, "Good work Detective."

"So what are you going to do now?"

"I don't really know. Beg for forgiveness?"

"Well, it's a start. Come on, let's go to lunch and I will help you plan."

"Oh so you're an expert on relationships now?"

"No, but I've had a lot of crappy boyfriends."

"Wait does this make Shawn the girl?" Carlton smiled for the first time that day.

She shook her head and rolled her eyes and muttered "Men," under her breath.

Shawn and Gus were grabbing tacos when Gus broke the silence. "So, when's he coming over?"

"After work."

"And what are you going to tell him?"

Shawn exhaled a giant whoosh of air, "Gus I don't know."

Gus shook his head, "Shawn you have to lay down the law."

"Frankly Gus, I prefer it when Lassie 'Lays Down The Law'."

"Shawn please? Be serious."

"Oh I am totally serious. I'm Sirius Black. And Lassie is my Remus. No he's my Severus Snape. The tall, dark, and brooding Potion's Master with a checkered past. Yes he's got a temper and bad hair but he's also a hero-"

"Shawn!"

"Sorry, got a little carried away there."

"I can't believe you think that way about Harry Potter characters Shawn, that's messed up."

"Hey me and a million fan girls can't be wrong."

"Come on, Shawn you guys are going to have to have a serious talk."

"Gus, I don't do serious. And Lassie doesn't talk."

"Well the fact that he's coming over means something."

"Yeah I know. He's says he wants to try."

"Okay. You must have it bad to give him another chance. I've seen you break up with a girl for not liking 80's movies."

"Dude she dissed Top Secret!"

"You didn't tell me that. Well I have to head back to the office. And Shawn, I still have no idea how on earth this happened between you and Lassiter."

"Chemistry."

"You mean craziness."

"He's sexy."

"He's scary."

"Smart."

"Disturbing."

"Funny."

"Anal."

"Yes!"

"What? Shawn you did not just say that! I don't want to hear that!"

"You brought it up. Interested in expanding your horizons Gus?" Shawn raised his eyebrows at Gus.

Gus shook his head. He knew that Shawn had mastered the art of deflection in order to avoid any emotional self-reflection. Having a psychologist for a mother will do that to you.

Shawn smiled and reached for Gus, "I think it's time for a hug don't you?"

Gus normally resisted but he could see the fragility in Shawn's eyes that normally lurked well beneath the surface so he hugged back.

Shawn's voice was muffled when he said, "I'm scared Gus. I think I might love him."

Gus squeezed tighter and said, "Good luck Shawn. I just want you to be happy."

"Me too man, me too."