*Twilight isn't mine*
Chapter 7
"Leah? Leah, honey?"
Of course it wasn't the voice of the one person in the world I wanted to hear.
I muttered something that sounded like "screw off" into my pillow. My mother was at the door acting all motherly and crap. I did not need that right now. All I wanted was to be alone, in my bed, away from the rest of the world. But of my wishes were being ignored because life is a bitch. Then you die.
"Leah you've been in there for two days only coming out to eat and go to the bathroom. I'm worried about you."
I couldn't find the strength to speak. My mind was still in it's quiet depression mode.
"Leah, you can call Emily. You used to always talk about you're problems with her and feel better. Or you can talk to me."
That's funny. Emily? You've got to be kidding me.
"Leah!"
Slowly, I find the strength to speak. "I'm fine," I say, sounding like a heart broken crack head. My voice is muffled, but she could still her me fine.
"Leah, I want you to come out."
Groaning and grumbling, I roll of the bed. It feels strange after crying till my eyes bled for two days with nothing but mango tequila to calm my nerves.I didn't want to think about him at all. But I couldn't stop while I was sober. It was like all the things I took forgranted were just occuring to me now, the musky scent on his skin, how long his eyelashes were for a boy; everything I failed to really notice when he was here was amplfiying. Everything reminded me of him, and that was hell.
I could still taste the mango in my mouth as I rose, and I haven't had any for twelve hours...at least I thought I didn't have any...wow. What I rush...
I threw on a pair of shorts and a t-shirt and sighed once more. This was going to be a damn long day.
***
The phone was staring at me, daring me to pick it up, and call Emily. Daring me to touch its keyboard.
Come on, Leah. You know the number. 131 9813....
Feeling stupid, I grabbed the phone and pressed the buttons. What I would give for a beer right now!
Like a stocker, she answered on the first ring. It was like she had been waiting for me to call. Which does sound a lot like clingy Emily.
"Hello?" She acted like she didn't know who the hell it was.
"Hi Emily," I feigned enthusiasm pretty damn good. Even though the one person in the world I wanted to talk to was unavailible.
"Oh hi Leah, what's up?"
"Oh you know me. Hating my job as usual." I was going to tell her the story of that one married guy who goes to the bookstore I work at who was trying to hit on me, but I thought better of it. We just weren't close anymore.
"Oh Leah, why don't you just quit?"
"I dunno, guess there is some advantages to it," I paused. "How's the baby?"
I had given Emily the okay to discuss the one topic she wanted to chat about. The baby. Everything these days to her was about the baby. And if it weren't for me rembering she was pregant during the wedding, I shuddered, I might of actually lost control and phased. Which wouldn't of been fun for anyone.
"Oh she's a fiesty one," I heard the smile in her voice.
"How do you know it's a girl?" I asked, interested.
Babies had alway been a bit of interest for me. When I was little, Sue let me help take care of Seth, and ever since I had dreamt about having my own child to hold. I still have beautiful baby dolls in my room with all sorts of different feautures, brown eyes, blonde hair, green eyes, brown skin, light skin, dimples, freckles, etc. Once I learned I could not concieve a child I threw a bitch fit. But that was all in the past now, or at least I thought I was over it. It's hard to tell with me.
"I just always wanted a girl. But I suppose I wouldn't mind having a boy either."
"What are you thinking about naming her?"
Emily thought for a moment. "I've thought of Lily, Bianca, Halee, and Zoe but nothing seems to work. I guess I'll have to see her first."
"I bet she'll be beautiful."
"Thanks."
"How does it feel like to have her inside of you?"
"Strange and wonderful. Like you're never alone. I can feel her little presence inside of me; life inside of me. Kinda like a butterfly inside of you, well...no. I can't really describe it. I'm just picturing her in my head, all the time, wondering what she might look like. Her hair texture, her eye color, even the shape of her nose."
Even though I wasn't pregant I could picture my own child. A happy baby boy, with bright black eyes and dimples. Though, the image is pleasing, I chose to push it away. Because it is something that can't happen. And for one other reason.
The baby has jacob's eyes. And I have issues.
I feel the agony again. I remember Bella, from Jacob's memories, describing it as a hole in her chest. This was worse. It was like a damn silver knife had been stabbed into my chest, and then twisted clockwiswe. Sadism is a dark thing.
"Well, Em, it was nice talking to you but I got to go."
"Bye Leah."
"Bye Em. Good luck with the baby."
"Thanks."
"Bye."
Oddly, It actually felt good after two days of no human contact to talk to someone. Maybe I'm losing my mind after all.
I decided to take a walk in the woods, because I have no damn life and had nothing to do till six. As I strolled down the path, I thought I caught a whiff of stale vampire stench, but it could of been my imagination. After all, I had been drinking last night and was craving more. That tends to mix up your scense.
That's when I heard a wolf howl. I found a safe place to change and decided to go for it. Just as I said earlier, this was going to be a long day.
*Thanks for the reviews last time and I'll try my best to update soon, by next Sunday at the latest.
