The Trigger Pulled Itself, Sir by Teenage Anomaly


I die every time you walk by
I can't hide that I'm drawn to you
Desire is such a wicked little high
When the one you want is blind to you

You're the third scoop
The second pack
You're the reason for therapy
Why I should go back
Hey Mister Wrong
You're the tingle in my jeans
You're everything I don't want
But everything I need

Chapter Seven: Was That A Confession?

"I have beer!" Maggie crowed triumphantly, the door swinging shut behind her as she entered Judy's room (we'd kicked Ron out because it was the largest room and even had its own TV) and the other three of us-me included- whooped as she handed us the alcoholic drinks. If I continued at this rate, I'd be an alcoholic before the end of the week.

"Ooh, I love beer," said Judy happily, throwing her head back and taking an impressive swig. Mikaela just smiled, shaking her head a little, her own beer simply clutched at her side.

It was just like any other girl's night. We drank and gossiped and laughed and embarrassed each other by making each admit who they thought was hot.

Maggie turned bright red. "That- that Epps fellow seems very nice."

"Nicely formed, that's for sure," I grinned, winking at her, and she laughed.

"Very nicely formed."

"What about that um, that Captain?" asked Judy, swallowing her beer and gesturing in a circular motion with her hand. "That William?"

"He's married," I said, sighing and rolling my eyes. "Unfortunately."

"That's a shame," said Maggie. "She must be a foxy girl."

I thought of Sarah's long face and perfect hair and said nothing.

"What about the robots?" asked Mikaela suddenly, a devious grin spreading over her stunning face. "Their personalities, I mean."

"Oh, sure that's what you mean," winked Judy before she stared off into space. "Well, I quite like the look of the big one- Prime. Very take charge. That'd be interesting."

"And painful," I cackled, and we all dissolved into giggles.

"Would that be humanly possible?"

"I really doubt it."

"Ratchet's making holoforms for 'em, though, so soon we won't have to worry about being injured," I said gleefully, bouncing up and down on the bed. The other girls laughed too.

"Ironhide," said Mikaela decisively. "Definitely. He'd be all repressed passion and then the next thing you know, you're pinned to something."

"Yum."

"I like the yellow one," said Maggie. "He's sweet."

"Don't let his puppy eyes fool you," I told her. "He's an enormous perv."

-

In the kitchen, several men sat around the table, just looking at each other, saying nothing.

Epps sighed. "Dammit, we need women."

"I agree," growled Ironhide.

-

We were collapsed over each other in laughter as Mikaela and I regaled the other two women of Simmons' forced strippage. To say that they found hilarity in it would be an enormous understatement.

"And then-" I managed to choke out, "he had boxers that said "Aloha"!"

Mikaela cackled in a very unlady-like fashion, clutching her ribs as Maggie shook with laughter, tears streaming down her face. Judy hooted.

"Oh, that poor man!"

"Bee peed on him!" I gasped, sending us into fresh gales.

-

Being the mature, well-adjusted women that we were, we began playing truth or dare a few hours later. And being the classy, refined women that we were, of course all the questions were appropriate and would never make any one of us feel uncomfortable.

"Did you sleep with Glen?" I asked Maggie flatly, grinning. She froze, her eyes widening over the top of her beer, which she'd just been about to finish. A small smile spread over Judy's face and I grinned, flat out. She sighed, lowering the bottle.

"It was just once, okay? And he forgot where we were the next morning." She groaned, shaking her head before looking back up at us. "Most embarrassing day of my life, okay?"

Mikaela was repressing an enormous smirk and Judy was staring at the blonde woman with a mixture of horror and awe on her face. I was speechless.

"Maggie, I gotta know. You're hott and foxy and he's, well…"

"Glen?" supplied Maggie, smiling a little. I nodded.

"I mean…. why?"

"I was drunk," she said simply, and we all nodded and "ahh"-ed, understanding dawning.

"So, Katty," she drawled, a dangerous look in her eyes and I was suddenly very worried, "truth or dare?"

"…dare," I said decisively, and a wicked grin spread over her face. My eyes widened.

"Maggie, you know how much I love you, don't you?"

-

"I can't believe you're making me do this!" I hissed at the other women once we were outside the Autobot's bay, but they only sniggered. I still didn't know where they'd found the pink spray paint, but it was too late for that now. I was going in.

Why the hell did I agree to this?

I turned to them. "If I die, I want you to know that I hate all of you. Very much. Oh, and tell Simmons he's one fine piece of man for me, will you?"

"Go, go!" Maggie giggled, pushing me, and, taking a deep breath, I ducked under the doorway.

The bots were all asleep, including my victim, who was actually snoring. I was incredibly nervous. You don't mess with robots who love their cannons. I approached him very quietly, my heart pounding, and stopped when I was maybe five feet away. I raised the can of spray paint and covered my face with an arm and began to spray.

After spraying painting pretty things like smiley faces and rainbows and little hearts on one of Ironhide's arms, I was beginning to get into the spirit of it all, starting to giggle, getting a little more bold as I aimed the can at his chest-

And then his eyes snapped open and I dropped the can with a clatter and a squeak. We stared at each other in wide-eyed shock for a moments before he said, his voice an angry and slightly confused growl, "You'd best have a good excuse for this, human."

"Look, 'Hide, it was a dare, I had no choice, I swear, girl codes and all-"

"WHAT was a dare?"

And then he saw the can of paint and his eyes zeroed in on his arm- now covered in pretty pink drawings. His eyes flashed back to me.

"HUMAN!" he roared, and I turned on my heel and ran.

"Oh, shit!"

Maggie, Judy and Mikaela were almost collapsing over themselves in laughter, unable to breath, much less run. I grabbed their arms and started to drag them and Ironhide's thundering footsteps sounded behind us.

"Dudes, he's coming-"

Stumblingly, we ran, giggling and laughing the whole time, throwing glances back. Ironhide was too tall to chase us down the hallway to our room-

"Oof," I said intelligently as I crashed into something solid and warm and manly, stumbling backwards. The other three women ran on, waving back at me, cackling.

"Traitors!" I called after them, before noticed what- or who- had stopped my run. Simmons looked down at me, rubbing his chest, his brow furrowed in confusion.

"We should probably hide," I told him, my voice bordering on a hysterical squeal, and he raised his eyebrows.

"And why would we want to do that?"

I'd noticed a closet and my heart thunked right out of my chest at the thought of all the possibilities- true, it was cliché, but dammit, it would be hot.

"HUMAN!" bellowed Ironhide, and I turned around to see him charging for me, waving his pink arm around, his face very angry and maybe a little bit amused.

The anger outweighed the amusement.

I looked up at Simmons and squealed before darting for the closet, just out of Ironhide's reach and, to my surprise, Simmons scrambled inside with me, slamming the door behind him. We listen to Ironhide grousing outside the door, both of us breathing heavily, pressed very close against each other. Damn, he may have been old, but he was fine. Simmons turned wide eyes and narrowed brows to me, the movement of his head sharp and quick. Omigod. That look. It was brain melting, I tell you.

"What the hell did you do to him?"

I raised my hands, the fingers of which were bright pink. The smell of aerosol and alcohol lingered around us.

"Spray painted 'im."

"… why the hell would you do that?"

"We were playing truth or dare," I said, by way of explanation, and he just stared at me.

"It's a girl thing."

"I should hope so."

"Hey, Seymour…."

"What?"

I grinned, my eyebrows rising sharply. "We're in a closet."

"You're very observant," he said sarcastically. Our bodies were pressed together in the small, confined space, but I wasn't about to leave, because a) he had a very nice body and b) Ironhide was still outside the door.

"Y'know, I've never been in this situation before," I admitted, looking up at him from behind my glasses, a few tufts of blonde hair falling into my eyes. He snorted.

"What, you've never been chased into a closet with a man three times your age by a grumbling, bad tempered robot that you've spray painted?"

"I heard that," came Ironhide's muffled voice, and Simmons and I both had to stifle laughter. It was an odd moment of camaraderie.

"Do you know what time it is?" I asked Simmons, and he shrugged. In the close quarters, I more felt him shrug than saw it. I mean, my head was basically resting on his chest and I had to maneuver my shoulders forward because the space was so cramped. Damn, I was short. The top of my head was lower than his chin- I reached just above his collarbone, and, the way we were pressed together, I had my head turned to avoid getting a face-full of government agent chest. Not that that'd necessarily be a bad thing.

"Think he's gone?" Simmons asked quietly. I shook my head.

"Seriously doubt it."

"Damn."

"What, you don't enjoy bein' stuck in a closet with me?"

He turned his head to stare down at me and I craned my neck to return his gaze, smirking.

"You are extremely weird."

"And you've said that before."

"Well, it merits repeating."

"You're using very big words, and it's very late. Or early."

"Aw, is your little brain shutting down?"

"You keep moving like that and it might," I said, sighing. Damn, I was tired.

Without really thinking about it, I let my head fall forwards onto his very nice, very warm chest, and I felt him stiffen and inhale sharply.

"Haven't you ever heard of personal boundaries, kid?"

"We're in a closet, Reg. No such thing."

"We wouldn't be in a closet in the first place if it weren't for you and your immature pranks."

"Aw, c'mon. It was funny as hell, and you know it."

He said nothing and I nudged him, drawing my head back. He sighed.

"Fine. If it hadn't led us to where we are… it might have been a little amusing."

"Mmm-hmm," I said smugly. "That's what I thought."

We stood in silence for a few minutes before he asked, very suddenly, "Did you mean it?"

"Every darn word," I said cheerfully. "Wait, what are we talking about?"

He chuckled. "Last night. You said you were a virgin. Was it the truth?"

"Is it really that hard to believe?"

"You act like you know what you're doin', baby girl."

"Oh, so you did notice."

He sighed, his eyes boring into mine. "It's hard not to. You're about as subtle as a nuclear warhead and not quite as tactful."

"Gee, Seymour, I love you too."

"The feeling isn't mutual."

"Not yet. Give me a while."

He stared at me. "Just how big is your ego?"

"You remember that nuclear warhead you mentioned?"

"…."

"A little bigger than that. That's what she said, by the way."

"Okay. You may be loud, annoying, perverted-"

"-not to mention charming, sexy, irresistible-"

"- yes, that-"

My brain fell out of my body and I stared up at him but he didn't seem to realize he'd slipped up and admitted to something.

He liked me.

Holy cow.

"- but you do have a pretty good sense of humor."

"So do you, Reg," I grinned, and we just looked at each other for a minute, me grinning like a loon, beet red, resisting the urge to jump up and down and squeal like the kid I was, and he just looked down at me, his lips curved up slightly, those manic eyes deep and unreadable.

For a second and a half, I thought it was the "moment". You know the one- two people lean in, slowly, eyes meeting and hearts pounding-

"We should probably go," said Simmons, softly, gesturing at the door with his head. My heart pounding, breathing a little unsteadily, I nodded.

No Moment. Darn it all.

Hey, Ironhide!" I called, my voice a little shaky as I face the door, looking away from Simmons. "You still there, buddy?"

There was no answer and Simmons and I exchanged a glance.

"Think it's safe?" I asked, and he shrugged.

"Only one way to find out."

Very awkwardly, he wormed an arm around me to open the door. It felt… nice. In a non-pervy way. Like, it felt… right, somehow, as cheesy as that sounds, with his arm brushing against my side. I grinned up at him, masking the weird emotions running through me.

"Jeez, Simmons, you wanna hold me, all you gotta do is ask-"

"You are infuriating," he said, but his lips were twitching, and he opened the door. We both blinked in the light, comparatively bright- Ironhide was gone.

We stumbled out of the closet to see Judy and Mikaela and Maggie, standing just a few feet away, looks of shock and glee on their faces. Simmons and I froze.

"This isn't what it looks like," he said quickly as I grinned and said, "This is exactly what it looks like."

"Hey, Simmons," giggled Mikaela, her face split into a wide grin, "Katty wanted us to tell you that-"

"Aaaand that is quite enough of that!" I half-shrieked, grinning hysterically, practically flying to Mikaela's side to cover her mouth with my hand. Simmons gave me an odd look and I simply widened my grin, fully aware that I looked like a lunatic. And, to top it off, I was flushing.

Pervy flirtation and teasing the guy was one thing, but if he found out I had an actual crush on him… it wouldn't end pretty. His slip-up moment previously was just that- a slip-up. He probably hadn't realized what he was agreeing to. There was no way he liked me. Nope. Nada. None.

Judy was snorting and Maggie was doubled over, smacking her knee in laughter. Simmons just looked at the three of us before shaking his head and striding off in the other direction. We heard him mutter, "Damn women."

We all looked at each other, our faces wide-eyed, before busting out into hysterical, howling laughter.

"HUMAN!" bellowed Ironhide suddenly, reappearing, and, still giggling, we turned tail and ran.

-

"I can't believe you!" cackled Mikaela as she slammed the door closed behind us. We all collapsed onto Judy's bed in a giggling mass of estrogen and I felt girlier than I had in a long time. I'd never been a girly girl- part of my "charisma" came from that, although I had enormous boobs and a very feminine face, I was quite the tomboy.

But right now, I was pure female, giggly and hysterical.

"He's older than I am!" giggled Judy. I grinned, nudging her in the side.

" 'S part of his appeal, hombre."

"What did you two get up to?" asked Maggie, smirking. I simply raised my eyebrows evilly, grinning, and they fell around me in shrieks of laughter, knowing full well I was exaggerating but finding it hysterical all the same.

-

Bumblebee knelt uncomfortably in the hallway, his head ducked so he wouldn't hit the ceiling. He didn't need a card to open the door- all he had to do was hold his finger against the scanner, and the door swung inwards.

A mechanical equivalent of "awwwwww" escaped the yellow bot as he beheld the scene in front of him. The women were all asleep on Judy Witwicky's bed, Judy herself under the covers, an arm falling off the bed, her mouth wide open as she snored, with Katty slouched against the wall, her back supported by a pillow, her head tilted back and her mouth open, with Mikaela's and Maggie's heads in her lap, her legs barely dangling over the edge of the bed.

Still "awing" and humming happily, Bee quietly pulled the door back shut, leaving the adorable females to their sleep.

TBC...


"Wicked Little High" by Bird York

A/N: I am quite fond of this chapter, for obvious reasons :) And dang, isn't that song perfect for them? I absolutely love it. This was such a fun chapter to write... I was giggling like an idiot while writing the closet scene. Anyway, I'm leaving tomorrow morning for London, so this'll be the last chapter for about three weeks! I am taking my comuter, so I'll be writing while I'm there, but I won't have internet in my room (I think) so I really doubt I'll be able to update. Love you guys so much! Leave me lots of revies to come back to!

Love,

Sarah