It was Saturday, the day of Downtown Sasquatch's biggest show yet. Since the year before when they won the "Hot Sounds in T.O." competition, the band had been in more or less high demand, but this concert was a collaboration of the most talented aspiring bands from all over Toronto. After Craig and Ashley had talked on Wednesday, the group had been practicing constantly, doing all in their power to perfect their sound. There was enough work to do in the favor that Craig owed Ashley alone, which required a few last minute changes.
On Friday, Ellie looked at her planner, which, surrounded by elaborate frames and in several colored markers, read: "ASHLEY'S BIG SHOW!!!!!" for Saturday. Due to their circumstances, Ellie planned on not attending. In her head, she pictured at least one of them catching sight of the other, and an emotional showdown occurring at the worst possible time and place. However, the phone call Ellie received from Marco, literally and seriously threatening their friendship if she didn't go, forced her to make the effort. Of course, Sean, who had become her human cling-on, insisted he go, too, which Marco said nothing about, but Ellie personally had a feeling would make things slightly difficult.
As Ellie and Sean barely made their way through the crowded Palladium, neither of them could believe how many people were there. Ellie found peace in the fact the chances of Ashley spotting her out in this kind of crowd, were slim to none.
Since "the Squatch", as so affectionately referred to on occasion by Spinner, were the winners of the "Hot Sounds…" competition, and that this event was sponsored by the same people, they got to request the spot number of their choice. Out of 9 other acts, the group decided on going last.
Their set was mixed with old and new favorites, and the crowd's responsiveness was beyond anything the group had ever expected. Ellie's eyes began tearing on several occasions out of her pride for Ashley, but each time she quickly blinked them away and cautiously let Sean put his arm around her. So far the two had not seen each other, and Ellie decided that was not a bad thing.
When the band performed "What I Know," the song that had previously brought them to glory, Ellie and all the other Degrassi students in attendance assumed it was their final piece. However, when they finished, Craig spoke into the microphone.
"Thanks. And for our final number, I'm proud to introduce Ms. Ashley Kerwin," Craig said, stepping back, and Ashley taking his place at the lead mic. While the Squatch was backing her up, they stood as far behind her as possible, making it evident that this was her moment. The kids who knew her from Degrassi cheered her name, and the rest applauded politely. Ashley, who had barely given the audience a second glance her entire time on stage, looked out and immediately found Ellie in the crowd. It was like she just knew - like she could sense her or something. Their eyes locked, and Ashley's heart sped up as she almost broke down in tears. However, she closed her eyes, took a deep breath, and never broke her stare with Ellie as she said, "This song is for the girl I'm in love with."
All the stirring in the room came to a halt, except for a few crude teenage boys murmuring obscenities, but other than that it felt like everything had been put on mute. The introduction to the song sounded much different with electric instruments backing it up rather than a piano, but Ellie immediately recognized it. Sean grabbed Ellie's arm and tried to pull her out, but Ellie didn't even allow herself to flinch, let alone budge. Ashley began to sing, Craig accompanying her with soft backup vocals on the chorus:
Dear, my love
Haven't you wanted to be with me?
And, dear my love
Haven't you longed to be free?
I can't keep
Pretending that I don't even know you
When at sweet night
You are my own
Take my hand
We're leaving here tonight
There's no need to tell anyone
They'd only hold us down
So, by the morning's light
We'll be half way to anywhere
Where love is more than just your name
I have dreamt
Of a place for you and I
No one knows who we are there
All I want
Is to give my life away to you
I've dreamt so long
I cannot dream anymore
Let's run away
I'll take you there
We're leaving here tonight
There's no need to tell anyone
They'd only hold us down
So, by the morning's light
We'll be halfway to anywhere
Where no one needs a reason
Forget this life
Come with me
Don't look back, you're safe now
Unlock your heart
Drop your guard
No one's left to stop you
Forget this life
Come with me
Don't look back, you're safe now
Unlock your heart
Drop your guard
No one's left to stop you now
As the instrumental break started, Ellie broke her stare on Ashley for the first time since the song began to look at Sean, tears streaking her cheeks.
"Sean - I'm in love with Ashley. I always have been, and I hope I always will be. I don't regret what we had, but it's over. And I'm sorry," Ellie said.
Sean opened his mouth to speak, but then shook his head and angrily pushed his way out. Meanwhile, Ellie made her way through the mesmerized audience, all swaying in unison to the lull of Ashley's beautiful song and voice, up to the edge of the stage, where she only then noticed the overly-excited crowd of Emo teens reaching their hands up to Ashley, hoping she would touch them. However, Ashley remained steady and in one place, and one by one, as the instrumental was ending, most of the people caught on that she wasn't going to touch them and put their hands down. However, Ellie stood on the very tips of her feet, and extended her hand to be held by Ashley's.
Ashley, who had kept her eyes closed throughout the entire instrumental break when she had wrongly assumed that Ellie was leaving with Sean, recognized the black and red bracelets in front of her, and reached down to hold Ellie's hand right as she finished the last chorus of the song:
Believe in you tonight
There's no need to tell anyone
They'd only hold us down
So, by the morning's light
We'll be halfway to anywhere
Where love is more than just your name
When the song finished, the previously serene crowd raised the decibel level in the room to the highest of the night. Those who weren't standing stood, and those who were already standing jumped and cheered with all of their might. In the midst of it all, the flow of uncontrollable tears between Ashley and Ellie increased by the second, as Ellie used Ashley's hand to lift herself onto the stage, falling into Ashley's embrace for the first time in days, and not believing that it was still available for her to revel in. This elevated the already unstoppable crowd to a new level, especially the section containing Paige, Hazel, Dylan (bumps, bruises, and all), Toby, Emma, even Manny, and all the band members' parents, including Ashley's dad and Christopher. As far as the band went, the guys, despite past feelings regarding Ellie and Ashley's relationship, beamed with unconditional pride, as Craig stepped up to the microphone again.
"Let's give it up one more time for Ashley Kerwin," he said, as if the crowd had ever stopped. "We are Downtown Sasquatch, that's it for us for tonight. You guys were amazing. Thank you and we hope to see you soon!"
It only took for the lights to come back up, the band to start disassembling, and the management of the venue to urge the speed of clean up for Ashley and Ellie to stop holding one another center stage. Despite all of that, with Ashley's permission, the rest of the Squatch agreed to pack up Ashley's keyboard and return it safely to Joey's garage so that she and Ellie could have some time alone. Ashley's dad, Robert Kerwin, agreed to pay for a cab for the two, so they could have some privacy on the way home.
The girls remained silent until the cab arrived. They got in the backseat and held hands, having both missed that feeling beyond explanation in the past week.
Ashley was the first to speak up. "So, did you like the song?"
Ellie, instead of giving Ashley the "duh" look she was imagining, refrained. "It was the most beautiful thing that's ever happened to me. I loved it, even though I didn't deserve it."
"Maybe you didn't," Ashley began softly, "But when you look at all of the good things we have in life, we don't really deserve very many of them."
There was a pause. Ellie was taken aback by Ashley's generosity and mercy. "Ashley, I just need you to know that I am so unbelievably sorry for all of this. So much I can't even begin to explain. I know it may not make it any easier to receive, but nothing I felt for Sean was real, or not as real as this. Not before us, and not this time, either," Ellie said, stroking Ashley's hand with her thumb.
"I know," Ashley said, nodding, "I mean, there are still things we need to talk about and work out. Regardless of intentions, there was a breech of trust that's going to take a while to be earned back. But I hope you know that no matter what, I'm always going to love you, Ellie."
Ellie's eyes began to fill for the millionth time in the past week. "And I hope you know no matter what that I never stopped."
Ashley and Ellie kissed, a kiss that was meant to compensate for their first in over a week. Then, the two held hands once more as Ellie rested her head on Ashley's shoulder and they sat the rest of the trip in silence on their drive to anywhere.
