Walking up to the bridge never lost its appeal of might and force to Jim.
When he left sickbay his head was bowed and heavy with his petty little dilemma, but soon day's work came to his mind, stockpiles and repairs, a conference with Captain Sidec about the sector the Enterprise was ordered to, and reports about the working order of his ship, his beloved ship.
When the turbolift's doors slid open Jim Kirk was his smug self again. The ship's central lay before him with controls to every detail from life support to torpedos to the ship's library to speed and sensors. Everything needed to steer this metal giant through space for five years could be toggled from here and Jim's assigned working place was the black swivelling chair in the middle of the room.

He loved this chair and everything it represented, come hell or high water.

Spock jumped to his feet when Jim arrived, leaving the chair to his captain in which he had sat cross legged and slenderly leaning against one corner of the chair. Taking the sight of the elegant Vulcan as a nice extra to an already good start on the bridge, Jim thanked him with a twinkle and occupied the chair himself. Yeoman Rand handed him two pads with reports while Spock recounted the facts of matter.
"Storage on C Deck must be refilled during the next twenty-one days, medical supplies have been ordered from Starfleet and are to be transmitted on a rendevouz with the transporter Kjiorkor in 80 hours, one request for a transfer has been handed in by midshipman Rutter who applies for a post on the U.S.S. Saratoga, enginges and ship is in working order, Captain Sidec will confere with you at 1300 hours" Spock concluded his report. Jim gazed over the reports from Rand and asked: "The transporter we meet, Krokjor, it isn't a federation starship?" "The transporter Kjiorkor is indeed a tellarite spaceship in behalf of the federation." Jim found the name of the transporter on the pad and read it thoroughly. "Kjiorkor, right," he pronounced carefully, "Tellarite Captain Jaral; manners which appear rude to humans; well, a transmission of medical supplies should not need too much diplomatic exchange, this should run smoothly. Why does midshipman Rutter ask for a transfer?" "Marriage, Captain, obviously her fiancee works on the Saratoga. A replacement will be sent by headquarters and may enter the ship when storage on C Deck is refilled." Spock had his hands folded behind his back and eyed Jim with raised eyebrows. Jim signed the request and handed it back to Rand, who then disappeared into nowhere again. He had no idea where she went when she was not standing behind him, but as all his orders and tasks for her were executed promptly and correctly, he didn't mind.

He didn't mind anything if he could gaze at Spock when he did his reports.

Work was fine. The Saratoga had just finished analyzing sector 7B of space region Epsilon h where the Enterprise was headed for an evaluation of the common lifeform in that section. Saratoga's biological research on the planets resulted in the finding of humanoids on one planet and gave the necessary information on arial and natural conditions for humans to enter the planets. The two ships arranged a redevouz point for the exchange of biochemical samples and the transmission of the midshipman Rutters. When he concluded the talk with Sidec, Rand (pop in) handed him a work report from her supervisor which he skimmed through and had sent to his quarters with the rest of the daily paper work (Rand pop out). For a moment there was nothing to do. Jim started to wonder whether he should do his paperwork right now only to wonder immediately why he never did this anyway when the answer came to him in form of a call of Lieutenant Uhura who announced a call from Starfleet Headquarters about the next mission. Yes, this was the reason he never did his paperwork on the bridge. There was always a disturbance, something to do, a crisis to solve, a call to answer, a decision to make. So paper work had to be done in his actual free time, which probably was the reason he had no private life what so ever. At least now he had a new argument why he couldn't tell Spock about his feelings, in case the topic would come up with Bones again which it most certainly would. However, first he had to answer this call and as it was a mission briefing he did so in a seperate room off limits to the rest of the crew but let his first officer accompany him, because it was a mission briefing.

In a corner of his mind he wanted to enjoy the brief moment alone with Spock in the elevator that took them to one of the spare rooms with a long table, several chairs and a speakerphone on the middle of the table. The rest of his mind concentrated on the task. The mixture of thoughts resulted in Jim asking himself who a captain should procreate after all, which was a question suitable for a living computer and as he had some time to fill, he asked Spock: "How many active Star Fleet Captains are married and of them how many did encounter their mate while on duty?" Yet this new attempt to puzzle Spock and trigger a kind of emotional response failed: "I am forced to say that I cannot provide this information. Personal information about Star Fleet personell is neither my work field nor my interest Captain. Most certainly the information could be obtained by a query of the computer data banks. Shall I order Yeoman Rand to fulfill the task?" Jim couldn't suppress a smile but answered matter-of-factely: "No, thank you I just wondered how midshipman Rutters managed to find the time to get engaged, that's all." He looked to Spock: "It was an attempt to initiate small talk." At this Spock turned to him. He was a little bigger than Jim and had to lower his eyes a bit to meet Jim's. He opened his mouth.
"I see."
A possibly longer response was cut off by the brakes of the elevator and they both emerged the cabin.

What should I tell you, when Jim finally left the bridge that night to go back to his quarters, he felt exhausted and tired. Work was waiting for him, so he took a shower and went back to his desk. The thought of Spock had been replaced with thoughts about work during the conference with the Headquarter. When he arrived at his quarters, he thought about the briefing. The mission was routine: Watch the humanoids and decide whether they are developed far enough to establish a first contact, then contact Headquarters again. Still, details had to be covered on how to collect enough data to adapt the universal translators to their language for example, but also on how to watch the humanoids and what to do in case there is contact etc. After the mission briefing, Spock had withdrawn to his quarters to rest and Jim had returned to the bridge. Then it was a relief that Spock wasn't there. Even though work absorbed him, it was easier to let him be absorbed when he didn't have to push away the thoughts about Spock. Of course they reappeared on his way to the shower. He remembered Spock's answer to his "how many captains are married" question with amusement. It had been on the point, precise, clear and logical like everything Spock said. It was exactely the reason he felt so attracted to Spock.

His promptness in answering him, his earnestness, his one hundred percent attention. Spock was never sloppy. He was always reliable and trustworthy. There were no suprises with Spock. Spock aws the kind of unwavering stability Jim never had growing up. Still, it was never boring with him either, as Spock's perfectance always triggered Jim to try harder and to exceed his own expectations of himself. In a way, Spock was the opposite of Jim. To work with him surely made Jim a better Captain than he usually would have been. The thought of Spock put a smile on his face. It was a satisfied and happy smile resonating Jim's feelings at the very moment. The sweet indulgence was the same he could celebrate every day, even if he had seen Spock only for a moment. He wouldn't want to miss it for anything. And there it was, the reason why Jim could never ever tell Spock about his feelings. With his hopes down, Jim undressed and entered the shower cabin.