Chapter Seven: In which Gwaine is not a prat
Merlin's mind was filled with chaos, pain and screams of terror, but those were not the things he was interested in. With all of his will, he was trying to focus on the voices of the two witches. He needed to know what they were planning next: it was simply a matter of survival.
He heard Morgause first.
Is he dead?
There was s short silence before Morgana's reply. He got what he deserved. This will hurt Gaius more than anything else I could have done.
Why do you trouble yourself with the fate of the physician and the mindless servant? Morgause sneered. Soon, I will be all right again and together we will bring about the end of Camelot.
I want to see them suffer as I have suffered, replied Morgana. I want them to pay for what they did to you.
It doesn't matter anymore, Morgana. Soon we will have the Four Elemental Stones and we shall have revenge.
So Morgana and Morgause knew about the Stones. He had not expected that. What could two witches possibly do with something that could end all magic? Certainly, they were not going to put their own lives on the line. What other purpose could they have in mind? Could the Stones be used to restore Morgause to her full strength? He would have to bring this to Gaius' attention. And also, Morgause's voice had seemed so distant. He was sure that she was communicating from another location, somewhere far away. If he could find her and face her alone, then he wouldn't have to reveal his magic...
Someone was screaming his name and shaking him. It took him a few seconds to realize who it was. Oh yes. He had just stepped in between Arthur and a couple of arrows.
"I'm all right," he managed to say. "Stop shaking me."
He looked up and saw Arthur staring at him.
"No one is shaking you," said the prince.
"Oh."
He tried to sit up but the sudden movement sent a thunder of pain through his chest and right arm. He reached up to feel his shoulder with the tip of his fingers and found the arrow planted just below his collarbone.
He let out a sigh of relief. "It's a flesh wound," he muttered. "It's all right... It's not that bad..."
Someone was shouting orders. He wasn't even sure who it was. Everything was happening in slow motion.
"Get the women and children to safety! Gather the wounded! Knights, on your horses! Make the area safe!"
"Did anyone see Morgana? She was here..." mumbled Merlin.
But then the screaming just became louder. "How can anyone be so stupid? You've been my servant for years and you actually never asked yourself why we wear those amours? It never even occurred to you, did it? They're to protect us against swords and...Oh, that's right... ARROWS!"
"Eur... I just saved your life... you... ungrateful... prat," Merlin muttered back. It wasn't his best insult, but he had the excuse of having just been shot.
"You didn't save my life," replied the prince. "You only nearly got yourself killed."
Merlin saw Arthur raise his hand towards him in a blur, but he was too late to stop the movement. Without any warning, the prince took hold of the arrow in his shoulder and pulled.
"Wait, don't!" yelled Merlin.
The rest of this sentence turned into a scream of pain. His whole body shuddered violently and he lost his sight for a few seconds.
"You don't... just... yank it out!" he let out while at the same time fighting an urge to pass out.
Arthur wasn't even paying attention. He was too busy speaking rapidly to Lancelot.
Now it was Gwaine's turn to kneel in front of him. He was holding a long piece of red cloth in his hand and he was also smiling widely.
"I don't think this is funny," snorted Merlin.
"I'm not laughing at you. I'm laughing at myself. I don't know if that's any help, but I think I'm even stupider than you are, Merlin," replied Gwaine.
"That's no help at all," Merlin grumbled weakly.
The knight leaned forward and tied a tight bandage around Merlin's shoulder. The young warlock could feel blood flowing out of the wound and fast. If only he could be alone for a few minutes, then he could try some healing magic, though he wasn't sure that he had enough strength for such spells. And then he thought of Kilgharrah. The Great Dragon had healed him before. If only he could call him...
"Your horse, Sire," said Elyan quite suddenly.
Merlin cranked his head around and saw Arthur already on his saddle on the tall brown steed. Gwaine and Percival were now hoisting Merlin up towards Arthur.
"You've got to be joking," mumbled Merlin between two moans of pain.
"We're riding back to Camelot just you and me," Arthur said in a playful tone, which Merlin knew was just a way to hide his apprehension.
Merlin did not feel he had the strength to protest. The pain was so intense now that it was blocking out everything else. He couldn't tell if it was day or night, sunny or rainy, warm or cold. He wasn't even sure how he was managing to stay seated on a horse. Was that Arthur's arm across his chest? Oh he's never going to let me forget that, thought Merlin miserably.
"We'll be just behind you," said Gwaine. "But don't look back. Don't stop until you reach Camelot."
It was the last thing that Merlin heard before they took off. Arthur kicked his horse hard and Merlin felt his head jerk backwards. They rode faster than Merlin had ever seen. He must have passed out at some point because when he opened his eyes again it was almost dark. He could see the glow of a pale moon showing them the way.
The rest of the trip was lost to him. When he came around again, he was looking at Arthur's face and at Gaius' hunched-over silhouette, but he was so tired that he fell into a deep undisturbed sleep. He quite lost the trace of time until he was forced to awaken again to take a sip out of a ghastly-tasting liquid. After that, he came around a few times, long enough to recognize the familiar surroundings, but his head was so heavy that he only managed to stay conscious for a few minutes and then he fell back into the blackness of his mind. He dreamt of Freya, of a peaceful lake as dark as her hair and of a cool breeze blowing on the grass on which they were both sitting…
And then, on a sunny morning, he felt the light on his face and his eyelids just fluttered open. As the room around him slowly came into focus, he realized that he was not in his bedroom but in Gaius' bed, right in the middle of the physician's chambers. The pain in his shoulder was excruciating but the rest of his body seemed functional, if only a little stiff. His head wasn't throbbing, which he considered to be a good sign, so he decided to try and sit up.
He was glancing around the chambers, looking for Gaius, when his eyes found another figure propped against the wall. Gwaine was looking at him with piercing eyes.
"Welcome back," said the knight with a half-grin.
"Where's Arthur? And Gaius? How long was I out?" The questions were coming a little too fast for his dried mouth and he coughed a little.
But Gwaine wasn't paying attention to his question or to his need for a glass of water.
"I know you have magic. I've known since Morgana tried to take the throne and you destroyed the Cup of Life. I saw everything through a gap in the wall. I know about Gaius too, but apparently it's not such a well-kept secret. You, on the other hand... I can't wait to see the look on Arthur's face when he finds out."
"He mustn't know..." Merlin let out in a voice that didn't really sound like his own. His mouth was very dried.
"You don't need to tell me that," replied Gwaine. Crossing his arms on his chest, he leaned back against the wall nonchalantly. "You're going to live, by the way," he added with a smirk. "You've been out for a couple of days but it's only because you lost a lot of blood. Gaius was very really mad at Arthur for taking the risk to carry you all the way here. First time I've ever seen him this angry. He called him 'very foolish'. He must care for you a lot."
A swirl of images and emotions came back to Merlin in a flash as he recalled the events that took place in the village of Brome. He wanted to ask about Arthur and the villagers, and also about Morgana and Morgause, and if the other knights were all right, but all he could say to Gwaine was, "Why didn't you ever tell me?"
The knight was staring very intensely at him. "I didn't know what kind you were."
"Kind?" repeated Merlin.
A shadow seemed to cross Gwaine's face. "I've seen a lot of things in my lifetime, Merlin. I've been places and I've seen people do crazy things all in the name of power. I once knew a good knight who turned to dark magic to put himself in the bed of another's wife. I saw a king unleash a terrible curse on his own people because they were protesting against his laws. I even met a man in a tavern who could not be killed. He was a man of fortune who was fair and generous and loved throughout the land, and then I found out that he was taking the lives of young girls to keep himself from dying. I took my sword and I cut his head right off."
Merlin was shaking his head in dismay. "Not all magic is like that," he murmured.
He saw Gwaine jump to his feet and stride towards him. Merlin felt so powerless. For many years, before coming to Camelot, he had thought of himself as a monster. Now it was as though Gwaine was throwing that back at his face. He knew that he wasn't evil or wicked, but he wasn't sure that he couldn't be corrupted. True, he had been able to resist Cornelius Sigan from taking him body and soul, but he could still be tempted by worldly things like gold or power; the very same things that Gwaine was describing.
He looked up only to find the knight gazing at him menacingly.
"I'll tell you from my perspective, Merlin. You have enough power to send a witch flying across the room just by yelling. You lie to your friends and your master so that you can sneak out and do your own stuff in secret. You conceal your magic and refrain from using it even when people's lives are at stake."
"You don't understand," said Merlin in a weak voice. But how could he defend himself? He didn't even have enough strength to sit up straight. "Arthur can't know. No one can. There's too much at stake..."
"I'm not finished!" cut in Gwaine. "You trusted Lancelot and not me. I thought I was your friend. I was so mad at you, and then you had to do this."
"Do what?" asked Merlin, but before he could even produce a thought all the breath was knocked out of him by Gwaine's tight and brotherly hug.
"You're a brave – brave – man, Merlin! Stupid... but brave!" said Gwaine, his voice suddenly full of emotion.
"Did I miss something? Ow... hug... nice but... ow..." mumbled the young warlock.
"Sorry!" Gwaine yelled, pulling away instantly.
Merlin was too confused to even remember that he was thirsty or hurt. Gwaine was smiling so fondly at him that Merlin thought he might be blushing.
"I don't get it..." he began to say.
"No, Merlin. I'm the one who wasn't getting it and for that I am so, so very sorry. I thought you were tricky and selfish, but it was the other way around. You're the most selfless person I know. I feel bad that you had to get hurt so that I could see you in a different light. Now I see the burden that you're carrying and it pains me that I couldn't share it with you. You must think I'm a prat like Arthur, whatever that means."
Merlin felt stunned and completely speechless. It was as though for a short moment someone had removed all the loneliness and fear of having to keep his magic a secret. It seemed almost impossible that anyone would react with such sympathy. It was truly a gift and he was grateful for it without measure. As he thought this, his eyes filled up with tears and he turned away to hide it. After all, Gwaine wasn't the kind of man to cry; he was much too strong for that.
The knight seemed to notice Merlin's uneasiness because he walked away from the bed and towards one of the worktables. When he came back, he was carrying a glass of water.
"I don't think you're a prat," said Merlin with a grin.
He was considering trying to get up or at least sit on the side of the bed when Gaius walked in.
"Oi! What do you think you're doing?" cried out the old man.
Gwaine made way for the physician who made such a fuss that Merlin had to abandon the idea of getting up altogether.
"Gaius, Gwaine knows…" he began to say as Gaius was bringing him another pillow and a horrible smelling tonic.
"Of course," said the old physician. "He told me he knew as soon as Arthur brought you in. And he also told me about Sir Leon's hand."
Merlin gulped down and tonic, made a disgusted grin, and then asked, "So how did I do?"
"Perfect," said Gaius while pressing a hand on his good shoulder, "Though you should have told Arthur not to pull the arrow.
"Is he well enough to walk or ride?" Gwaine asked quite unexpectedly.
"Is something wrong?" inquired the young warlock as Gaius was making him wiggle his toes.
"I don't know what it's all about," said the knight, "but Arthur wants to see us all in the old ruins, at the Round Table, to be precise. He said as soon as you woke up. He also said that we should maintain absolute secrecy, but I trust I don't need to tell you how to keep something secret."
"Your injury is healing well, but your strength is not back yet," said the physician.
"I'll go," replied Merlin right away.
Gwaine glanced from him to Gaius. The physician bowed his head and did not offer any protest, so the knight left hurriedly.
"I know you don't agree…" Merlin began to say.
"Merlin, I'm going away for a while. Lord Agravaine, it seems, is close to finding the Four Elemental Stones and I cannot let that happen. A long time ago, just before you were born, the Stones were found but the information never reached Uther's ears. It was I who concealed it from him and with another person's help we have kept the Stones secret for years. Now I must go and make sure no one can use such magic. Do you understand?"
Merlin felt his face grow pale. There was something ominous in Gaius' tone. It was strange as though he wasn't planning to come back.
"I should go with you."
"No, your place is with Arthur. Go to the Round Table. He's been secretive for the past few days. He's up to something. Don't worry about me. If Agravaine comes too close to the Stones, I will send him on a false trail. I've done it before. Besides, I have your amulet to protect me."
And then, before Merlin could even start an argument, Gaius picked up his bag which was already prepared and he left without one glance back and without even saying goodbye.
