Chapter 4; Confide
Unlike his past recharges, Starscream wasn't aruptly torn from his subconscious thoughts by interruptions from the outside world. Instead, he pleasantly drifted into an online state as his systems awoke. The Seeker didn't even remember going into recharge, which was an odd occurance. He must have been given some form of sedative and he never noticed.
Starscream tried to lift a heavy servo, and was met with resistence from a lock around his wrists. A calm-as-ever Ratchet came into view, gazing intently at a small screen in his hands as Starscream tried to work feeling back into his limbs.
The medic had been working nearly non-stop for the past two days. What with keeping Starscream's residence from the humans and monitoring Bulkhead, the workload took its toll on the old bot. Fortunately, Starscream wasn't nearly as high maintenance as Bulkhead and only needed some time in recharge to heal fully. Though Ratchet had noticed strange sounds coming from Starscream in those private moments of sleep. Sounds that were certainly not reassuring of a quick recovery.
"Lacerations have healed, no infection, vitals returning to normal. Your limbs will be stiff from lack of use." Ratchet finished assessing the screen and turned to face Starscream. Even with the mech's past allegiances, the medic forced himself to treat Starscream as he would any other patient. Besides, Arcee's revelation just a few days ago had somewhat taken the customary edge off of him. As for Optimus, Ratchet didn't know what his leader planned to do with the Seeker, but he would respect his choice whatever it may be.
"No use having you berthridden any longer," Ratchet said, releasing the restraints. Starscream had to stop himself from springing up as soon as he was free, instead slowly rising and flexing his wires. He saw that his rockets were removed, and his fingers filed down to a rounded point. At least these Autobots weren't as stupid in the precautionary department.
"When you feel ready, stand up," Ratchet ordered his patient. It still felt strange referring to Starscream not as enemy, but a bot in need of help, like Arcee had when she had brought him in. He didn't doubt that Bulkhead would be furious to see what else was occupying the med-bay when he awoke, though. Bumblebee, understandably, had his own doubts about the Seeker that he mostly kept to himself. The humans were kept in the dark, primarily for their own safety but also to keep Miko from being to inquisitive around such a dangerous bot.
"Why's Ratchet spending all his time in that med room? What's so important that it needs all his attention? Oh, oh, oh! I bet it's a new weapon that'll kick the Decepticreeps tail-ends!" Ratchet thought back to all the young human's wild speculation as Starscream tentatively put pressure on his peds. He wobbled slightly, placing a servo on the operating table behind him for support. One step, two steps, eventually Starscream was walking back and forth with no trouble. The mech answered no when asked about feeling any pain or discomfort.
"Nothing out of place or abnormal?" Ratchet also asked, to which Starscream hesitated in answering.
"Nope, not at all," he lied, rather unconvincingly from the withering look that the medic gave him.
"Hmm, strange. Perhaps your night terrors are just reflex a-"
"What, night terrors?" Starscream interrupted, his faceplates twisting in panic. "What do you mean?"
"Oh, just strange noises and movements coming from you during recharge," Ratcht replied casually, his back turned to his patient as he expressed great interest in the screen in front of him. The cyan backlight illuminated the knowing smirk on his mouthplate.
"Y-you've been spying on me while I was asleep?!" Starscream shrieked in disbelief, long legs curling up to his chest as if trying to cover himself. He'd never felt so violated in his life, recharge was a precious time of escape and solace for the abused Seeker. To have someone- an Autobot no less- intrude on that brief sanctuary...
"It's my duty as a medical professional to monitor my patients 24/7. You should know all about that, considering you worked in a lab-"
"WHAT?! How-how do you know about that!? What have I been saying?!" Starscream practically broke the sound barrier from how high his voice was going, optics wide and frantically darting everywhere. Ratchet allowed the smirk to appear as he faced Starscream.
"Well, the sounds you made could loosely be translated into coherent words."
"Slag," Starscream spat out, his shoulders bunched aggresively as he sat on the edge of the berth. "How do I know you're not invading my mind, or using Cortical Psychic Patches or some kind of new Autobot technology on me?" It was a long shot, but Starscream refused to belief that he'd so willingly blurt out potentially important information like that- even in a state as foggy and incomprehensible as recharge.
"Really, Starscream, if that was the case I don't think we'd tell you about it," Ratchet answered, arms crossed in a challenge. So that was it, then. No hidden tricks, no verbal ambushes or mental traps. These Autobots really were simple.
"Very well then..." Starscream concluded resignedly. "What of these 'night terrors' of mines?" Ratchet shrugged before he replied. "A suspicion that you may know the cause of them, and that you're deliberately hiding it. This wouldn't be the first time in my career that it has happened." Now Starscream really had to consider his next words. He was pensive about sharing the glitches- he was sure they weren't memories, as he was shown scenes which he wasn't even present in- because in doing so, he would reveal a potential weakness to an unconfirmed enemy. But if he did admit to the CPU lapses, perhaps Ratchet, being the- regretfully admitted- skilled physician he was, could make sense of it all. As if he had a choice either way.
"Well, now thar you mention it, there has been a strange occurance, ever since the Insecticon attack," Starscream began, finding the words to explain his problem. "I've been having these CPU glitches. Like a hybrid of dreams and memories, except I have no prior recollection of any of it." Ratchet looked intrigued by this new piece of information, which he entered into his logs for future reference.
"I've never heard of anything like that happening before. You say this started happening after you were injured?" Starscream nodded.
"Very peculiar..." Ratchet put a hand on the bottom of his faceplate in contemplation. "And what do these glitches show you?"
"Cybertron," the Seeker answered, his tone hardening at the memory of his forsaken homeworld. "Joining the Decepticons and...my trine," he said mournfully, his faceplate a portrait of grief. He had been told that his trine was killed in the Autobot attack on Crystal City, but by know Starscream knew better than to trust anything from Megatron's mouth.
'CPU glitches and memory lapses...the latter I've only seen happening with humans. But could it be that the Cybertronian mind isn't much different from an organic's?' Ratchet contemplated.
"Starscream, I need you stay focused," Ratchet said in the most professional manner he could muster. "Is this the only time you've remembered your trine?" Starscream bobbed his helm, coolant building up in his optics.
"All I've ever been able to remember is waking up on Cybertron, in a Decepticon base. Megatron said I'd been badly wounded in the battle that sparked the war. That I'd suffered severe CPU trauma. And that I'd have permenant memory damage." The Seeker's words prompted Ratchet to point out, "That's impossible. Cybertronian mind is too complex to allow for irreversible memory loss. Unless...a mind wipe..." The medic's notion faded to a whisper. Starscream stayed silent, trying to console himself from the sudden onslaught of emotion at the though of his long-gone trine.
"That Insecticon attack must have triggered something in your CPU to gradually transmit the missing thoughts over time," Ratchet suggested. "For whatever reason, you witnessed something that Megatron wanted you to have no memory of. And I think a thorough examination should uncover what the trigger was," he said as he pulled out his advanced tool kit. "I'll have to sedate you again, Starscream. But if the glitches keep coming, pay close attention to them." Slightly anxious at going under again, Starscream nodded and laid back down on the berth, a slight prick in his servo the last thing he felt before he was enveloped in darkness.
xx
"Arcee, can I speak to you privately?" Ratchet called to the femme, who excused herself from the gaming humans.
"What's up, Ratchet?" Arcee asked as they secured an abandoned corner of the base, away from any eavesdroppers.
"There's been a new development considering Starscream." Ratchet described the mech's glitches and possible memory wipe.
"Well, that explains why he never seemed to recognize me," Arcee muttered mostly to herself.
"How close exactly were you two on Cybertron?"Ratchet asked out of curiousity.
"Other than his trine, I was probably the only friend he had. Whenever Tailgate wasn't in my training classes, I'd go with Starscream instead for pair exercises. When we left the Academy, he even protected me once from Airachnid when she showed up. That was the last time I saw him before..." Arcee shook her helm to clear her mind of the past. "Do the other's know?"
"I've informed Optimus, and we've both agreed that perhaps we should keep this sensitive data to ourselves." Arcee nodded in understanding.
"Anything I can do to help?" she asked, eager for an opportunity to get close to the mech without fear of being maimed. Even if he was disarmed, she knew how dangerous the Seeker could be without weapons. Mostly though, she wanted just one moment with her old friend that wasn't filled with crackling hostility. She didn't know if she could forgive him for Cliffjumper's demise, but perhaps she could push it to one side. Just this once.
"I imagine that having a friendly face around would help him signifigantly. If he's recalling past memories, then he should remember your past friendship and be less hostile to you than to the other Autobots."
"Makes sense," Arcee commented. "But if you don't mind me asking, Ratchet..." the femme paused uncertainly. "Why do you want Starscream to get his memories back? You hate the Decepticons as much as Optimus, sometimes even more. Even if he's no longer a 'Con, it'd be much easier for you to leave him be." Ratchet was taken aback by Arcee's question, to which there was no simple answer. It was the exact thing that he had said to her when she appeared with Starscream on her back. Back then, the first thought on Ratchet's mind was not 'How can I help this bot?' but rather 'What use is this bot to us?' Rarely do the needs of the few outweigh the needs of the many, but there was always room for exceptions.
"Because I thought about what you said, about Starscream nowadays not being the real thing," Ratchet finally answered after minutes of pondering silence. "At first I thought war had just changed him for the worse, but now I know I was wrong. It was the doing of a mech as evil as Unicron that made him who he is. He saw something on Cybertron that caused him to lose everything. No bot deserves to feel so lost by that. By recovering the memories, I won't let that sacrifice be in vain."
Arcee smiled, a genuine one so rarely formed by the femme. "I'll get the real Starscream back. No matter what it takes."
