Here! Take it! Just don't kill me!

All I'm gonna say is... it's a lot easier to write in the summer when you have nothing to do. Also, turns out I had the first half of this sitting in my computer and just had to finish it. .

Oh and, disclaimer. Yeah. Don't own KH, etc. Enjoy!


Sometimes, all you need to resolve a problem is sleep. Some 'scientists' say it's because your brain will work it out when you're out, but what most people hope for is that their problem… was all a dream.

I wish.

Tapping my fingers on the kitchen table, I stare at the cardinal in front of me. Real blood and feathers.

"So, let me get this straight, I say wearily, taking a sip of my coffee. God, I hate mornings. "Demyx was a bird, and now a human. And he used to be your boyfriend until he flew into a window and died. "

The small bird nodded his head (as much as a bird can) enthusiastically.

"Well, if you want to get technical, he was my 'mate', but yeah. Broke his neck on impact, poor guy."

I pinch the bridge of my nose, like those people on TV do when they get annoyed. I don't know how it helps, but it looks cool.

"And you knew he was human and decided to stalk me instead?"

"Ye- I mean, no!" Axel flapped his wings. "I would have stalked him over your grumpy ass any day. I had nooo idea he was human…" He trailed off, ducking his head back to peck at his wing innocently.

I raise an eyebrow.

"Nooo idea?"

"Nope."

Silence reigned in the kitchen for a couple of minutes as I stared at him.

"I don't believe you," I say, narrowing my eyes. "But for the sake of my poor stomach, I'll just file this into my head for later."

"What?" He squawked, hopping forward a couple of inches. "No questions about Zexion and what he has to do with anything?"

"Oh, don't get me wrong. This conversation will take place. But I think I'm almost late for work." I pull my phone out. 10:30. Yep, I'm just a tad late. That's, what, an hour and a half past nine?

I sigh, standing up. Looking longingly at the fridge, I press my hand to my stomach.

"Do you think I have time to eat something?"

Axel cocked his head to one side.

"Well, you're already late, I don't see the harm…"

"Great!" I smile hopefully. "Something to put in mah tummeh!"

I hurry over to the fridge, putting my coffee cup in the sink as I pass.

"Geez, what are you, five?" The oh-so-annoying cardinal flew over me, perching on the counter to my right.

"This is no time to start an argument, fiend!" I hiss, tugging the fridge open.

"Fiend? Do you forget who helped you make cookies last night?"

"Help? You did nothing of the sort! You just sat around eating brown sugar and annoying-!"

Riiing.

I pause in mid-sentence, in the middle of pointing accusingly at the cardinal. Our eyes both drifted to the other room, where the phone sat beside the computer.

Riiing.

Riiing

"Are you going to get that?" Axel's voice snaps me out of it and I turn my back to the ringing, and started inspecting the contents of the fridge.

"Nonsense! I'm already late as it is, and I still haven't found anything to eat!"

I scowled at the useless products of my last shopping trip. Lettuce, tomatos, ham, cheese, sandwich condiments, milk, eggs… What could anyone make out of such things?

Riiing.

"So what are we eating then?"

I glance over at the bird.

"What do you mean, we?"

Clic.

"Hey! I never got anything to eat yesterday, even when you baked those cookies and then kept them from me! What do I get to eat for breakfast?"

"Nothing, stupid bird!" I push mustard aside. "Go eat worms or something."

Ignoring his offended chirping, my mind goes over his words… That's right! Last night I did make cookies!

I scan over the fridge shelves with a smile on my face again, searching for that Ziploc bag full of yummy chocolate chip deliciousness.

Grinning even larger when I find it, I pull it out.

"Hey! Who ate my cookies?"

Slowly opening the door, I peer into the shop.

"Hello?" I whisper. "Yuffie?"

I open the door a little more and tiptoe inside.

"Yuffie!"

"Yeees?" Her head popped up from behind the counter.

"Uh…" I hesitate. "What are you doing?"

"Well!" She stands up and brushes herself off before jumping over the counter. "Tifa got a bit suspicious about the counter… so I decided to take up another hobby!"

I raise an eyebrow, and reply sarcastically.

"Oh yeah? And what's that, polishing boots?"

Yuffie stares at me.

"Noooooo…" She driftsoff, eyes darting to the left. "I mean, it's not like I'd polish peoples boots because it pays good money and the polish can make camouflage marks on your face! Hahaha, how ridiculous…"

I shake my head and put both my hands on the counter.

"Listen, Yuffie. Is Tifa in today?"

She looks at me, with a strange glitter in her eye.

"She was. But she had to leave. Someone with a strange voice who claimed to be her grandmother's nurse called and said that her grannie was in the hospital. She left fast. Real fast."

I stare at her, a little amused, but kinda scared that Yuffie had her crazy side out today.

"Alright. So she's gone now... do you have a phobia of birds?"

"What?"

"Cardinals, specifically."

She shrugs

"No. Not really."

"Kay. Imma go get to work then…"

She nods enthusiastically , and ducks back behind the counter.

As I turn around, I decide not to tell her about the black smudge on her cheek. Maybe I can bring in my combat boots tomorrow and see if I get a discount from her.

Opening the door a crack, I shiver as a breeze of cold air hits my face. I look carefully on the street for anyone who would witness something that would land me in a crazy hospital real quick, and then motion and whisper to the bird perched on the sidewalk outside.

"Get in now. Before someone sees you!" I hiss, holding the door open for him.

"Dude, people see birds all the time. Anyway, you better be feeding me something, after you didn't give me anything this morning. I have a better chance outside with all the old people out." He hops over to me and flutters up to my shoulder.

"Why did you expect me to feed you breakfast when all I got was a measly sandwich?" I scoff, letting the door swing shut as I retreat back to the warmth of the shop.

"I thought now that you weren't chasing me with a broom you would be nicer." He sniffs. "I guess I was wrong."

"Psh. Me? Be nice? That'd be like asking Yuffie to be sane."

"More like asking Demyx to be still."

I go around the counter (see, Yuffie, there's an opening dedicated to that) and to the back bathroom to wash my hands before getting to work.

"So… How long were you with Demyx?" I ask casually, pushing the door open and flicking the lights on.

"Oh, jealous?"

I freeze, standing in front of the seat, posed to turn the faucet on.

"So I'm right?" The bird's tone sounded a little victorious.

"W-what?" I splutter, getting over the shock. I swat at the bird to get him away from me. "You're such a creep! You're a freaking bird!"

He landed on the toilet seat and cocked his head.

"And?"

"Sorry , dude, I'm not into… that sort of stuff."

"Okay, okay, but what if I'm not a bird?"

"What are you implying?" I turn the sink on and run my hands under the water, scrubbing them with soap.

"Nothing, nothing."

I raise an eyebrow, which was kind of useless, seeing as he couldn't see it.

"Right." I turn the sink off and leave the bathroom. "You can stay in here until you stop being weird."

Slamming the door behind me, I return up front.

"Hey…" I start, looking around the store. There was a couple in the corner, and a girl with a newspaper by the window.

And Yuffie was still sitting behind the counter.

"Yuffie, did you serve any of these people?" I ask, confused, as the couple tried to wave me over.

"Huh?" She lifted her head from her boot-shining work. "What people?"

I stare at her for a minute before shaking my head. I grab an apron from under the counter and tie it around my waist, along with the pad and pen my oh-so-useful colleague left on the counter.

And so began another uneventful (minus the part where Yuffie started throwing shoes at a rude group of students) day where I worked and no one else did.


"So, wouldn't it make sense?""

"Axel, I'm NOT doing my project about you." I scowl at him. He was clinging to my messenger bag as I walked to class. And for once, this time I'm not late.

"But it'll be so easy!" he chirps pleadingly.

"No one knows about you!" And no one will if I want to spend my life outside an asylum.

"Pff. Fine. Go and find a less interesting subject, for all I care. Fail, all because you turned down an AWESOME opportunity." He sniffs, ruffling his feathers.

"No one wants to read about a crazy talking bird that gets itself killed by a college student walking to class."

"I said about me, remember, not random crazy bir– wait. Asshole."

I smirk and abruptly stop.

"Off."

"What?" His beady eyes grow larger. "I didn't even peck you!"

"I mean, I'm here, idiot. Get off." I frown, shaking my bag, but nothing seemed to dislodge him.

"You won't let me come up with you?"

I glare at him one last time, and slam my bag against the building's wall. With a squawk, he falls hallway to the ground before going airborne. But by that time, I'm already through the door and pounding up the stairs to a chorus of 'MEANIE!' from behind me.

As I skid through the hallways, dodging random people, I think to myself: Why am I even running if I'm not late?

But as usual, I ignore that little naïve voice I like to call 'logic' and continue on my way.

By the time class actually starts, ten minutes later, I'm lying face down on my desk.

"Psst. Rox."

I groan.

"Roxas!"

I slowly lift my head to look at Hayner sitting beside me.

"Is that drool, dude?" He asks, laughing and pointing at my face.

I scowl and wipe my face off with my sleeve.

"No," I sniff. "What do you want Mr. I'll-tell-you-when-the-project's-due-later?"

"What?" He looks confused. "I told it was due.."

"Like you told me what class it was in?"

Hayner stares at me.

"That's a 'no'." I tell him, and rest my head on my hand.

I love Hayner, I really do, he's my best friend – but he's HORRIBLE about telling people things. He ALWAYS leaves out the most important details. Or even the minor details, but it's always one that you really want to know.

So sometimes, I want to strangle my best friend. Nothing so strange about that. (And don't you say anything about exaggerating either!)

"It's due in two weeks." Hayner whispers, as the teacher stands up.

"Alright, class! Pay attention! I – yes, what is it?"

"Sorry ma'am, it's just a question about the project…" A girl a couple of seats in front of me and to the right had raised her hand.

"Then no! After class. " Mrs. Craigs runs a hand through her hair and starts on her lecture.


"Oh, thank GOD, I thought that was NEVER going to end!" Said a sing-song voice as soon as I left the building.

I freeze and Hayner walks into me.

"Ow!" I clutch at the back of my foot and glare at him, but he's not paying attention.

"Did you hear that, Rox?"

My eyes dart to the cardinal sitting on a window sill.

"Hear what?"

"Oh… never mind then." He rubs the back of his head apologetically. "Must be going crazy. I mean, hearing voices? Tch, might as well be sent to the loony bin."

I glare at him. He doesn't seem to notice.

"Well, I gotta head off then. See you Saturday, right? The gang agreed to meet up for ice-cream." Hayner said, hitching his bag onto his shoulder.

"Alright, got it. See you."

"Bye!" I watch him walk off down the street. As soon as he's out of sight, I whip around and grab at the red bird, who, being way too fast (curse the gods!), flew off chuckling. "You stupid bird! He heard you!"

"And every one hears you." Axel smirks, settling onto a mailbox a couple of feet away. He waves his wing. I look.

Almost half the class was slowly walking out the doors and away, watching me with a wary expression.

"What?" I snap to the nearest one, and she runs off squealing.

"Smooth," The cardinal purrs. "You really have a way with the ladies."

I look at him. Can birds really… purr?

"Tch…well, you… don't." I finish lamely, stuffing my hands in my pockets. You know what? Who cares who sees me? I'll only get sent to an asylum if I start going absolutely crazy and try to kill everyone. So… only use my spatula at home, away from everyone who is staring at me. Other than that, I'm fine.

"No, Roxas." He looks at me like I'm a dim child. I resent that. "I'm gay."

I almost choke.

"Do you have to do that?"

"What?" Axel asks innocently. "Say I'm gay?"

"Just shut it, ok?" I look around. "People can hear you."

"You… have a problem with me being gay?" His tone of voice was strange.

I raise an eyebrow.

"I have a problem with you being a bird."

"So if I was human, you'd date me?"

This time I really do choke. Just a short explanation – sometimes, when I get really awkward and have no idea what to do, I turn murderous. So at that point, when Demyx walked out of the door and saw me, I was about to kill that little red bird so squishable

"ROXIE!"

Caught in a bear hug. Again. As my ribs crack, I realize I am not breathing. I'm not even sure if that's from that STUPID BIRD'S COMMENT or Demyx glomping me.

Demyx puts me down with a smile and I watch him warily. I've known him for a couple of days now, and he keeps hugging me. I DON'T EVEN KNOW HIM VERY WELL. Why, oh WHY, does he do that? And - wait. Did he call me Roxie?

SOME ONE IS GOING TO DIE.

But, as is my luck, as soon as my hands were about to go and strangle him, someone ELSE shows up.

"ZEXY!" And the mullet-headed idiot shoots off again. I swear, either he eats way too much sugar or he's naturally like that, and I need to order some tranquilizers (I ran out the last time I visited a dog park – damn dogs are out to get me).

"Demyx. Hello to you too – hey! Remove the hand!"

I snort, and walk over to them.

"Aw, but -!"

"No, Demyx." Zexion stared pointedly at the blond, in a way that made me think he usually got his way, especially with Demyx.

"Yeah, Demyx. No groping your boyfriend in front of me, thanks." I grin evilly.

Immediate reaction.

Demyx goes red as a tomato and Zexion does as well, spluttering a load of gibberish, the only thing I understand at the end: "HE'S NOT MY BOYFRIEND."

Then it all dies down and there's a long silence. Zexion's avoiding eye contact and Demyx is… staring at his shoes. He actually looks sort of… disappointed…

Oh. Oh.

So there's nothing going on but… there should be.

I smirk.

Looks like my plotting side is going to come to some use after all.

Even though I would have preferred to finish world domination first…


There! Haha! And I'm even working on the eighth chapter. Take that.

Oh, and since I'm updating for the first time in a REALLY long time... don't you think I deserve a review? :3

I'll update another chapter soon, so keep an eye out. Thanks for reading!