I DO NOT OWN TWILIGHT OR ITS CHARACTERS
RATED M FOR LANGUAGE AND LEMONS
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BPOV
The tinkling of the bell that hung above the door announced my arrival as I stepped inside Neon Dirt. As I lifted my sunglasses and rested them on my head, my senses were immediately overwhelmed by the obnoxious and flamboyant decor of the quaint lingerie shop. A girlish giggle escaped as my eyes darted quickly around the room. Tubes of purple neon light served as a substitute for crown molding to fuchsia colored walls. The floor sparkled with silver glitter and miniature chandeliers made of mock candlesticks hung from the ceiling. For the past three years, with hard work and fierce determination, Alice managed to flip the old post-office and turn it into a successful business. Despite the fact that she annoyed the hell out of me and staid on my last nerve, she was my best friend...and I was proud of her.
"Al?" I shouted, walking through the maze of floor displays and scantily clad mannequins. As I approached a table piled high with a rainbow of fabrics, I paused long enough to trifle through it, picking out something that resembled fishing line more than underwear. "Who would wear something like this? "
"No one, " Alice chirped, tugging the garment free from my hand. "As I've said before, I don't sell lingerie. I sell items that accent a person's home decor." She giggled and smiled crookedly before tossing the piece onto the floor. "See. Now doesn't that turn the floor from drab to fab?"
I shook my head and smiled. "Very creative, Alice."
"Indeed. OK, enough about sensual chic. Tell Auntie Alice all about your," she cleared her throat as she took my hand and led me to a stool behind the counter, "doctor's visit."
Slowly, I slid onto the stool, wondering where the hell should I start. I felt the warmth flood my cheeks as images of my hand encircling throbbing, hard flesh flitted through my mind. My mouth went dry and my heart started thundering in my chest. Furious with my response to the mental pictures, I pursed my lips together and sat tall on the stool.
"Why Bella Swan, if I didn't know any better, I'd say you had your first orgasm today, judging by that shade of red that has now engulfed your entire body. Am I right, or is it just wishful thinking?"
I stared blankly at my persistent little friend, and wondered if she had always been so blatant in her conversations. Thinking back on the four years that I have known Alice, I considered some of the situations that we had found ourselves in, and quickly decided that the answer was definitely yes.
"You're right. I did," I said calmly.
Surprise or pure happiness, I wasn't sure which, spread across Alice's tiny face. Her eyes wide as saucers and her mouth hanging wide open, she looked absolutely ridiculous.
"Holy shit!" Overjoyed with my revelation, she flung her arms around me and squeezed tight. "Oh my god!" she stepped back. "Tell me, how, with what, how many times...gee..."
"I, uh...did it on my own...you know..." I raised my hand and gave it a queen's wave.
She brought her hands to her face and smiled widely."Shut up! You got yourself off? Bella! I'm so proud of you! So, did he watch?"
"Yes," I replied dryly.
"Shit! Did he talk you through it or did you just wing it?" Her expression serious, she placed her elbow on the counter and casually leaned against it.
"He uh...whispered more than talked." A fire burned in my stomach as I recalled the sound of Edward's voice.
"Gah! OK, so anything else happen today or was it just Bella Swan, one woman show?" She asked, wriggling her eyebrows.
"Well...yes. Something else did happen. I...um...kind of...touched him...there."
"You finally touched a penis?!! Thank God! I thought for sure, even though you're soon going to be married, you'd be penis-free forever! I think I'm going to cry." She feigned a sob and pretended to swipe tears from the corner of her eyes. "I have to know. Stretch limo or Mini Cooper?"
I sighed with irritation. Had I known I was setting myself up for an Alice style inquisition, I would have just gone straight to work. I knew she would be curious, but, geez.
"He was...OK, I guess." I said vaguely, shrugging my shoulders.
Obviously disappointed, she slapped her hand on the counter and sighed vehemently. "OK? For fuck's sake, Bella. You've never seen a penis, let alone ever touched one. I give you something to compare it to size wise, and you just say OK?" Her eyes narrowed and she crossed her arms over her chest.
Hysterical laughter started to build in my chest at her petulance, but I held back. Knowing Alice, persistence, outside of crudeness, was one of her more dominant qualities. She would never give up until I gave her something definite.
"Mini Cooper," I answered with a half smile.
Alice raised a perfectly penciled brow and huffed. "Bullshit. Now you're just being a bitch. No woman gets that flustered over a Mini Cooper, unless they're just really desperate."
I sighed heavily and buried my face in my hands. "Alice, I don't know if I should continue with this. I think I have a general idea of what to do for Jake, I mean, what else could there possibly be?"
"Oh Bella." Alice took a deep breath and let it out slowly before cupping my face in her hands. "You really are as pure as the driven snow, aren't you? If you don't want to continue, then don't. The only reason I gave you Dr. Cullen's card was because you were so concerned about satisfying Jake."
"You hate Jake. Why do you care if he's content or not?" I mumbled through puckered lips, the heels of her hands pressing against my cheeks.
"I did it for you, sweetie. You have been a train wreck waiting to happen for the last few months being so concerned about this, so when I found Doc's card in one of the dressing rooms, I decided that it wasn't a coincidence and of course, I immediately thought of you."
I placed my hands around her wrists, and glared at her as I removed her hands from my face. "You gave me card that you found in one of your dressing rooms?"
"Yeah, so. Look, it will not hurt my feelings at all if you decide not to follow through." She rolled her eyes before circling the counter to pick up the pair of panties that she had dropped earlier. "OK, I lied. I will be very disappointed, seeing that hearing you say anything remotely sexual and watching your reactions is highly entertaining..."
"Al!" I shouted as I slid off the stool.
"Just being honest," she admitted with a shrug, neatly folding the pair of panties and putting them back onto the table. "Listen, I think we should celebrate. The next few weeks for you are going to be hectic, being busy with wedding bullshit. What do you say we go to O'Malley's and have a drink, or ten? Jake, as usual, isn't going to be around, so why should you sit at home?"
"Yeah, I suppose I can go out. Hey, I gotta get going. I have deliveries to make today, and Angela is probably pulling her hair out by now waiting for me."
"Fine. I'll pick you up at seven."
"Sounds good," I agreed. Waving my hand, I turned and headed out the door.
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EPOV
"Seven, corner pocket," Jasper, my friend and most popular ob-gyn yelled, tapping the end of his cue stick against his target.
"If you make that, you have got to be the luckiest bastard alive," I said with a challenging smile. He nodded and smiled before positioning himself against the pool table as he prepared for the difficult shot. Steadying himself, he drew back his stick, and with a smooth and calculated move, he slammed it forward, then slowly lifted the stick from the table as he followed through. My eyes followed the path of the seven ball as it rolled speedily down the diagonal length of the pool table. I grunted in disbelief as I watched it fall gracefully into the called pocket.
"Goddamn it! How the hell did you do that?"
"Like you said, luckiest bastard alive." He smiled as he returned the stick to its rightful place on the wall. "Let's call it, shall we? I've had a long day and I'm ready for a drink. How 'bout you? I'm buying."
"Sounds good to me."
I followed Jasper through the small crowd until we reached our table. Jasper continued on to the bar while I eased into the chair. Settling, I glanced around my old stomping grounds and thought it unusually crowded for a Tuesday night at O'Malley's. But what would I know? I haven't been here in two years. I preferred the more subdued atmosphere at Gino's to the overly loud college kids that now populated O'Malley's. But, Jasper, feeling nostalgic, had called me earlier and invited me for drinks and a few rounds of pool. After I had thought about and fully considered the day that I had, I didn't hesitate to accept.
"Shit!" Jasper hissed as he handed me a glass filled to its rim. With his brow furrowed and his jaw tight, he pulled out a chair and sat down. "I'd like to give that girl nine inches and fuck her some manners."
I chuckled. "What's the matter, Casanova? Get shot down? Who is it that didn't succumb to that wicked charm of yours?"
He ran his hand through his hair and tilted his head towards the end of the bar. "That one there...on the end closest to the dance floor."
Curious, I followed his gaze to the cutie resting her elbows on the edge of the bar. She was attractive, her features soft yet confident and defiant. Her lips were stained a deep maroon, her eyeliner thick, and her midnight colored hair cropped close to her jaw line. Although she was dressed comfortably in a pair of perfectly fitting low-rider jeans and an equally snug sequined T-shirt the same color as her lipstick, I had no doubt that she could stop traffic..or kick someone's ass.
"You have got to be kidding me, Jazz. She's a Chihuahua. What the hell could she have possibly said that you couldn't shrug off and move on to the next victim?"
"For your information, she's a Pit Bull, thank you very much. And...she mentioned something about chroming my nuts and using them as a hood ornament for her Jeep," he snarled before taking a sip from his glass.
I couldn't help the ferocious laugh that escaped. Jasper, self-proclaimed lover extra ordinaire, appeared to have met the one woman that didn't fall for his lines.
"Fuck you, Edward. You're supposed to be on my side. Where's Emmett and Rosalie? My real friends," he sneered. Rolling his eyes, he finished what was left in his glass.
Rosalie, Emmett and I had been roommates, sharing an apartment together right after we graduated high school. The three of us met Jasper at a conference three years ago and have been friends ever since. Rose, as she prefers to be called, is a Sexual Addiction Counselor and shares office space in the same building that my practice is located in. The fact that she also works with the male halves of my female clients is a laughable contradictory and is a subject she often finds difficult to explain. Emmett McCarty, Rose's longtime boyfriend and breast enthusiast, is a successful plastic surgeon, specializing in none other than, well...breasts. He preferred to increase their size rather than decrease them. I raised my glass and took a long swallow then quickly set it down when I saw Emmett emerge from the back entrance, Rose following in line behind him.
"Speaking of the devil and his mistress," I said, nodding my head in their direction. A few seconds later, they arrived at our table.
"What's he pissed off about?" Emmett asked with an amused smile on his face. He pulled out a chair and sat down, and then pulled Rose into his lap.
"Ah, for the first time...in what...forever, Jazz got turned down," I responded with a chuckle.
"No shit?"Emmett questioned, a look of surprise on his face. "Rose, baby, do you think you could find an opening in your busy schedule for Jazz, maybe give him a quick refresher course?" Emmett suggested jokingly as he reached his hand up and palmed her right breast, no doubt admiring his handy work.
"Oh, I could probably fit him in," Rose replied with a sarcastic smile before turning to kiss Emmett. I watched them for a moment, admiring Emmett's patience and understanding for Rose's chosen occupations. Sighing, I envied their relationship, but thought the pairing rare and obviously intiguing. There was no way in hell that I would ever find someone who possessed the amount of patience, tolerance, and self-confidence that it must take to survive that kind of relationship. As much as I didn't want to admit it, I felt a little jealous.
"Do you realize that we all have licenses that legally allow us to be perverts?" Jasper mumbled as he munched on a piece of ice. "Think about it, Ed and Rose here can have sex with a client, if agreed upon by both parties before treatment begins and the proper forms have been filled out. Em is face deep in tits for nine hours a day, five days a week. And me, I spend most of my time between a woman's legs, and let me tell you, the view isn't always pleasant. You two," he darted his eyes between me and Emmett, "are two lucky sons of bitches. The next time I visit New Orleans, I'll make sure to find the nearest voodoo priestess and hex the shit out of your asses."
"Perverts?"I said, leaning forward. "Speak for yourself, Jazz. You're the only one here with a pending malpractice suit." I raised my eyebrows and grinned.
"Oh come on!" he bellowed. "That was a set up and you know it! It wasn't my fault the wheel broke on the stool and I fell face first into Mrs. Aberworthy's vagina."
Collectively, we burst out into laughter. I buried my face in my hands as I tried to rid myself of the mental pictures. Unable to succeed, I gave up and lifted my head.
And that's when I saw her.
Fatally wrapped in a ruby red dress that hugged every curve of her body to perfection and left nothing to the imagination, Bella stood next to the woman that had Jasper spiraling. Her hair hung loosely around her shoulders and her make-up applied a little heavier than it had been earlier when I saw her. My eyes roamed, leisurely and with surprised appreciation as I cast my gaze over her, continuously, from head to toe. I found it hard to contain the impish chuckle that matched my smile as I admired the strappy silver heels that graced her feet. They accentuated the long length of her legs and the heel high enough to force her calves into delicious curves. I watched her for a moment as she fidgeted with the dress as she displayed her obvious discomfort with the ensemble. I found her fussiness endearing and amusing. Then again, as I looked her over once more and felt that certain tingle of fire course through my veins, I found her absolutely a danger..to herself. And judging by the animalistic stares from some of the other men in the bar, I was correct in my assumption.
Jake, you stupid bastard. How could you let her go out dressed like that? She's so innocent and unaware of what she's capable of doing to the male libido, so vulnerable and alluring.
This whole situation could turn ugly in a matter of seconds if she didn't at least cover up with something. Fortunately, Rose was wearing a white button-up sweater. Deciding that it was a sign and the only way to keep Bella from being hunted like prey, I asked Rose for her sweater.
"Why do you want my sweater?" She asked reluctantly.
"I'll give it back. Just give me the damn sweater."
She hesitated for a moment and glared at me, her eyes narrow slits and filled with questions. Finally, she shrugged out of it and tossed it over to me.
"Thanks." Pushing my chair back, I draped the sweater over my arm and started toward the bar where Bella was standing.
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BPOV
"What the hell took you so long?" Alice asked, her voice overly loud to accommodate for the noise of the bar.
"I can't believe you made me wear this. The lining is wrecking havoc on my thighs, itching like mad it rubs against my skin,"I replied, my voice meeting the same volume as hers had while I smoothed my hands over the silky red fabric, resisting the urge to scratch. "You now how much I hate attention."
"Stop complaining. You look fierce as hell in that dress. I'm hoping you will catch the attention of one of these delicious gentlemen tonight and rid yourself of that jerk off." I raised an eyebrow in warning. "What?" she smiled widely. "Look at all this man candy."
I stared at her for a moment and shook my head at my best friend and counterpart and sighed as I recognized her victory smile.
"Alright. Who's heart did you break this time? What did he do?"
"Just asked me to dance." She said with a hint of indifference in her voice.
"That's all? What happened to Alice, Wanton Princess?"
"Wanton Princess, heh? I thought I was the village slut?" she asked.
"You managed to move quickly up the kingdom's social ladder."
"Well done, Bella." She cooed as she playfully punched me in the arm. "At least your experiences today lessened some of your tension and brought back your sense of humor. Even if it's just temporary."
"Funny. So what's wrong with you? It isn't like you to turn down a man...as in it almost never happens."
She shrugged. "We are supposed to be celebrating, remember? Tonight is about you. Contrary to popular belief, I can put my libido into neutral from time to time."
"If you say so." I sighed and rolled my eyes. "So, which one dared to kick you into overdrive?"
I watched her and the sudden impish grin that crawled across her face, and huffed an amused breath as her eyes became stormy and hot. "Him. The guy in the pinstripe shirt with the black suspenders."
I leaned in closer to her, my cheek nearly touching hers as I followed the direction of her stare.
And that's when I saw him.
With a sudden fury, the breath was stolen from my lungs as I watched Edward walking towards us.
"Oh shit!" I exclaimed as I turned around and covered my face with my hands. That same heat that had rushed through me earlier that morning came washing over me, devouring every inch of my body.
"Bella? What is it?" Alice asked, concerned as she placed her hand over my arm.
"It's him!"
"Him who? Where?" She demanded as she jerked me around to face the crowd of people.
"Dr. Cullen, you know...him." I said in a loud whisper, sending a wide eyed sideways glance toward Edward.
"Really?" Alice stood on her tiptoes to peer over someone's head. "The hottie walking this way in the tight black T-shirt and jeans so tight, you'd have to peel them off of him?"
"Yes!" I hissed through my teeth. "Now can we get the hell out of here?"
"Well fuck me in the middle of Siberia! Bella Swan, you lucky little virgin you! I'm jealous!" she yelled teasingly. Her cry of approval was so loud that it turned the heads of some of the customers and brought definite, unwanted attention.
"Would you stop! Now, let's go before..."
"Hey," Edward greeted, his voice low and deep.
Slowly, I turned around, trying not to look him directly in the eye. "Hey."
"I saw you from across the room and thought you might be cold," he cleared his throat, "so I brought you this." I looked down as he held up a white sweater, smiling as he draped it across my shoulders.
"Thanks," I murmured, truly grateful for the gesture, yet confused by his concern. Why would he care if I was cold? I wasn't cold, I was nervous and uncomfortable....I paused, the real reason he brought me the sweater. With his knowledge of my sexual status, better yet, the lack of, he must have sensed my dislike and weariness of my current outfit. Come to think of it, the dress itself screamed "here I am, come and get me."
"I think you crushed my friends ego," he said, turning to Alice.
"Shit. He's with you?" She asked, looking in the direction of the table where her admirer sat.
"Yeah. That's Jasper. And after your dismissal, he just became the newest member of the Lonely Hearts Club." Edward commented.
Alice's features softened as she glanced back and forth from Edward to Jasper. "Well, I guess I can give him a second chance. I mean, he is kinda cute and all. Bella," she turned to face me, "you gonna be OK?"
"Sure. I'll be fine. Go." I encouraged. Edward stood quiet, a slight smile on his face.
"Damn. What are you going to do if I get distracted, or better yet, go missing? You'll need a ride home."
"I can take her home," Edward interrupted.
"No, you don't have to do that. I can call a cab," I protested.
"Really, I don't mind at all,"he insisted with a gravel tone in his voice.
"It's settled then," Alice chirped before placing a quick kiss to my cheek. "I'll talk to you tomorrow." With a wave of her fingers, she turned on her heels and bounced away.
I sat there, stunned at the awkwardness and a little perplexed by the coincidence. I hadn't expected to see Edward so soon after our session. I was fine knowing I had several days to regroup and refocus.
"Small world," Edward said with a slight smile.
"Indeed." I swallowed hard and slid off the stool.
"You look like you could use some fresh air," he suggested.
I nodded, then looked up at him. A pleasantly odd shudder ran through me as I noticed the concern in his eyes.
"Yeah. I suppose I could."
He hesitated for a moment before moving aside to let me walk in front of him. A sharp tingle slid up my spine as I felt him step closer to me as we pushed our way through the crowd. Turning my head, I glance up at him. He sent me a sympathetic smile as he placed his hand on the small of my back and guided me toward the door.
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A/N: Update when I can.
