My appointment to get the shot is in ten minutes. I've been procrastinating like hell from getting it cause it's going to be super awkward. Of course my parents have been bugging me for the past week on getting it and they keep denying that it would be awkward and that it's worth it to avoid teen pregnancy and STI's.
It's just that Dr. Crusher would never have to give that shot to her kid because her kid is too damn perfect. He's the kid that puts all of us to shame. He doesn't drink or sleep around or get anything less than perfect grades. And he's her only kid so that's her frame of reference for how a kid should be.
I can only imagine the conversation that ended with Wes being recruited to tutor me. Our moms were probably doing yoga and talking about all the ways he's better than me. They would never admit it but it's the obvious step taken before the whole tutor recruitment thing.
And now she gets the satisfaction of giving me the birth control hypospray with the smug knowledge that her kid doesn't need it.
Ok, I should start walking. Ok. Up. Grab bag cause I have tutoring after. Right foot. Left foot. Don't think about where I'm walking to. Right, left. I'm not afraid of shots I swear.
I get to sickbay. She's waiting for me. This feels like getting sent to the principal's office.
"Alex, right on time. Have a seat."
I am refusing eye contact.
"There's nothing wrong with feeling anxious about getting an injection." She says, touching my shoulder. I look away. I know I'm being childish and I don't care. "You should've seen your father when he was younger."
I nod.
"Can you give me your arm sweetie?" She asks. I reluctantly hold out my right arm and she gives me the shot. "There, easy as pie!"
"Thank… you." I awkwardly said, nodding.
"I am proud of you for bringing yourself to make this responsible choice." She said, again putting her hand on my shoulder.
"Thanks." I replied quietly.
I make my way, ironically, to the Crusher quarters, for another tutoring session. Not that I'm mentally in the right place for that. But he was happy to see me. I get a strange sense that he… admires me. I don't know why cause I'm a worthless 3/4 human 1/4 Betazoid person.
"Hey Alex!" He lit up.
"Hey!" I shrugged as I sat down.
"You OK?"
"Yeah, just, ya know. Stressed and stuff."
"How did the math test go?"
"84."
"Dude nice!" He gave me a high five. This is strange and new.
There's something about being around Wes. I don't know. For all the insecurities he fills me with, on the bright side there's less social pressure around him. When I'm with other people I'm expected to be that Alpha-Popular guy and it's like a performance, in a way. But around Wes I don't have to perform and I don't have to worry about being awkward or because who could be more awkward than Wes?
"Wes, I'm so sorry. Can we reschedule?"
"But this homework is due Tomorrow!"
"I'm just… not in a mental place to do this."
"Oh… Ok. I hope you feel better!"
"Thanks."
I leave and go back to my room and stare at the ceiling. This whole beta-powers thing feels like a second puberty. I must have stared for hours until I heard a knock on the door.
"Yeah?" I force out, in order to acknowledge the knock. My mom walks in and closes the door behind her. She sits on the edge of my bed and starts stroking my hair.
"You can't just sulk in your room Amzadi." She cooed.
"What am I supposed to do?"
"Be social! Have fun! Do your homework!"
"No…" I groan.
"Why not?" She asks as she scooches herself more onto my bed so she's sitting up against the headboard. She pulls me up under the arms to signal me to sit up slightly and she wraps her arm around me so I'm leaning into her side. It would be weird if she were full human but by betazoid standards it's more acceptable. She kisses the top of my head.
"I'm a weakling." I eventually force myself to say.
"Why?"
"Because I'm all moody and sensitive all of a sudden!"
"That doesn't make you weak." She cooed. "I swear, human men and emotions. It's half Vulcan half Klingon the way they treat them."
"It's just so hard getting these… attacks of other people's feelings."
"I know sweetie, I know."
"And nobody else on this ship is going through it or knows what it's like!"
"I do!"
"I mean people my age."
"I know baby."
I broke down crying, again. God, what is it with me crying to my mommy lately? I'm going to need to lift weights in the high gravity gym for a few hours to make up for this. My mom held me tightly against her for what felt like an hour.
"I have to go back on duty soon." She said, softly and gently.
"No… Mommy… stay." Crap, did the word "Mommy" really just come out of my mouth? And did I really use that childish of a tone with her?
"If you need someone, you can talk to Guinan."
I nodded. She kissed the top of my head and left the room.
