With his mom away for the weekend with her new boyfriend, Eric had the house all to himself. At first, he had been pissed off and disapproving when his mom announced she was seeing someone. Kyle remembered Eric pacing his bedroom, unable to finish one angry sentence before he made another protestation. Kyle supposed that Eric had developed an aversion to strange men coming into his house from childhood, no matter how well-intentioned they were. But Kyle had soon quietened Eric's complaints that she was just going to end up crying and heartbroken again and he would be the one to have to deal with it, and criticisms of his mom 'shit taste for spineless assholes,' by reminding him that with his mom out of the house more often, they had some more time alone. Eric had immediately brightened at that realisation, after Kyle's decidedly wiser, and more mature remarks were ignored. At least it made Eric smile, and Kyle was discovering that pretty much everything he did had that goal in mind.

Eric had invited Stan and Kenny over to hang out at his place tonight, and Kyle waited for them on the couch with Eric. Although he had spent all day with him, he was willing for time to halt, just so he could savour the lazy, blissful day for a little while longer. He didn't want to give this up; curled up next to Eric on the couch, head resting on his soft, warm chest, listening to him laugh at the TV, close enough to kiss. He wanted Eric all to himself, and this weekend his house was their own little getaway. Kyle moved his attention away from the show they were watching, gaze sliding to Eric. It was startling to Kyle, how looking at Eric made him feel now that he had touched him, kissed him, given in to his attraction. Before, there was an ache whenever he looked at Eric. A curious, if-only ache that fantasies and daydreams barely sated. But now he knew, his curiosities were answered, and he was addicted. When he looked at Eric now, he saw memories written across his face. The memory of his lips against his, his skin beneath his fingers, and how such contact sent his golden eyes alight, like stars twinkling in pitch black, dilated evening.

Kyle watched Eric smirk, obviously feeling his eyes on him. But Kyle didn't look away.

"What?" he asked, looking at Kyle with a small smile.

"What?" Kyle shrugged, playing innocent.

There was a small crease in Eric's brow. He shook his head and chuckled.

"What are you looking at? You were just staring at me."

Heat crawled up Kyle's throat then, and an uncontrollable smile started tugging at the corners of his mouth.

"I'm allowed to look, aren't I?"

Kyle felt Eric's chest tremor as he chuckled some more. He rolled his eyes and returned his attention to the TV. Kyle wanted it back on him.

"You've just got something on your face, that's all..." he teased. His lips scrunched up as he tried to hide his smirk.

"Where?" Eric asked, patting at his pinked face.

Kyle bit his lip, loving how Eric's eyes flashed and rose to meet his as he straddled him. He leaned in so they were almost nose-to-nose, and peered at Eric's face, searching for the imagined blemish.

"Right about..." he interrupted himself when he pressed his lips to Eric's.

Not surprised for too long, Eric soon tilted his head and leaned into the kiss. Their lips separated with a tiny, wet smack , and Kyle shivered as Eric vied for more, leaning into Kyle with his eyes lidded. Kyle loved teasing Eric almost as much as he loved kissing him. Their noses brushed together, and he pressed his thumb to Eric's flushed, wet, bottom lip.

"There..." he murmured.

Eric gulped, and then soon mirrored Kyle's wide smile.

"When did you get so smooth?" he asked, placing his hands on Kyle's thighs.

Kyle shrugged, admittedly embarrassed to answer. But his embarrassment soon dissipated as he admired Eric's smile that seemed to light up his whole face. Boyish, and wicked, and confident, and endearing. Kyle cupped Eric's cheeks in his hands, and pressed their foreheads together. Eric stared into his eyes in a way that made Kyle feel totally undeserving but undoubtedly lucky.

"You've got the cutest fucking smile..." he whispered, before kissing Eric again.

Eric deepened the kiss readily, and Kyle sampled his lips like the most delicious meal he had ever tasted. Slow, and indulgent, and Kyle felt just as hot as Eric's cheeks in his palms.

"Wait..." Eric managed to gasp in between kisses. "Wait... Stan and Kenny are gonna be over here, like, any minute..."

Kyle inched away, panting and with a sinking feeling in his chest. He searched Eric's eyes, and even though Eric was the one to remind them both that they could get caught, Kyle saw no sign that he wanted this to stop just yet.

"You told them eight, right?" Kyle asked.

Eric nodded, and Kyle reached into his jeans pocket, pulling out his phone. Glancing at it, he then returned to Eric with a triumphant beam.

"It's seven thirty. We've got some time."

Eric smiled, delighted and their mouths collided again, hard and heady. Kyle cupped Eric's face again and pulled his lips as close to his as possible, shoving his tongue in his mouth. Eric's hands had roamed his thigh and now were at his ass, giving it a squeeze that encouraged Kyle to come closer. It was working, right now Kyle just wanted to pin Eric to the couch and grind against him until the semi growing in his underwear was relieved.

"If we're really fast..." Eric panted. "Do you think we could..."

Kyle nodded, mindless. It had only been a few weeks since their first time together, and they tried to seize every opportunity they could to do it again. Fast, rough, pants-around-their-ankles, on the couch... it had to do. Eric sat up, securing Kyle's legs around his waist, and Kyle wrapped his arms around his shoulders. He tugged at his hair, and Eric whimpered in the space of their frantic, open-mouthed kiss. The noise sent a shiver rolling down Kyle's spine. He couldn't hear the TV anymore. The furniture, the walls, were all a blur.

"Kyle?!"

Stan's voice didn't just send a shiver down Kyle's spine. It sent a fucking Arctic storm rolling down his spine, freezing his blood in his veins. Terrified, he could hardly move, and neither could Eric. In fact, he could've sworn he instinctively clenched the muscles in his thighs to hold onto Eric tighter. Their lips slid off each other, and their once hazy, lusty eyes were rigid and petrified. Kyle found it in himself to jump off of Eric, stumbling from the haste of it and nearly landing flat on his ass.

Kyle dragged his gaze to Stan, and saw him just as mortified. His mouth hung agape, but his wide, intent stare in Kyle's direction seemed to be asking all his questions for him. Namely, what the fuck was going on? Kenny's lips were pursed, unable to decide where to look.

They were caught. Kyle could hardly believe this was happening... that he had let it happen.

"Stan..." Kyle whispered. He then gulped. "Kenny... th-this isn't what it..." his stomach leapt into his throat, he thought he was going to vomit. He clutched his belly. "Oh my God..."

"Kyle..."

Hot, stinging tears sprung in Kyle's eyes at the sound of Eric's voice. When he looked at him, the sympathy on his face was painful.

"It's okay," he whispered, holding out his hand.

Kyle wanted to take it, but he couldn't.

"Uhh..." Kenny broke the silence. "Do we need to talk about this or...?"


Night had stumbled into morning, and Kyle was still sat in Eric's living room with the guys. They nibbled at the leftover homemade hot wings, pizza, and sticky, glazed ribs that Miss Cartman had no doubt slaved all day over, and sipped at cool beer. Kyle actually had quite a pleasant buzz, the evening going much better than he anticipated. In fact, it had been pretty boring and lazy. They chatted over TV shows and killed a couple of hours on Eric's Xbox. If it wasn't for Luke occasionally chiming in the conversation, or weaving his fingers through Kyle's, then he could've sworn this was like any other night at Eric's. Before college, before Luke, before an icy, covert war had been waged.

Stan stood up, getting to his feet slowly. He had been sat on the carpet all evening, and took the opportunity to stretch his legs. Eric was lounging on the armchair, and Stan patted his shoulder.

"Listen, man, I think I'm gonna head out..."

"Yeah, me too," Kenny added, rising from the carpet as well.

Kyle smiled, and made sure to keep it to himself. There was an opportunity to leave unscathed, to call this night a mild success, and he itched to take it.

"Wanna go home?" he asked Luke, trying to keep his eagerness under wraps.

Luke nodded with a tired smile.

"Yeah, sure..."

Kyle's smile grew wider, and he grasped Luke's hand to pull him up and take him away from Eric's house forever. He caught a glimpse of a disappointed Eric, leaning forward and eyes flitting back and forth between each deserting guest. Kyle didn't want to look for too long. He didn't want to goad, he knew it would only encourage Eric, and his persuasive charms were impossible to resist for the inexperienced. Of which, Luke was one.

"Come on, seriously!" he whined. "Don't you guys wanna stay a little bit longer? It's not even late! Butters, you're gonna stay, aren't you?" he asked, giving Butters a nudge by his feet.

"Sure am!" Butters grinned, raising his beer.

"See, you guys, Butters is staying! You really don't expect me to hang out with him for the rest of the night, do you?"

"Hey!" Butters shouted, with the least intimidating scowl ever.

"Sorry, dude, you know I don't mean it," Eric replied, leaning in close to Butters and resting a hand on his shoulder. "I'm just trying to get everyone psyched."

Butters' scowl dissipated, and Kyle rolled his eyes. Although remembered how Eric's velvety, hushed words in his ear made him melt into a compliant puddle, and wondered if he should be so quick to judge.

"For what though?" Stan asked. "No offence, but I'm pretty bored."

"Yeah, I think you should just call it a night, Cartman," Kyle added, but immediately wished he hadn't.

Eric had stood up, and was now staring at him the same way a member of the opposite team would stare at him during a basketball game. Relentless, hard, determined to get the upper-hand and take him down.

"Nah, the night is still young," Eric said, a dangerously confident smile tugging at his lips. "I ain't calling it yet."

Kyle should've known better. He had challenged Eric, and he had gladly taken it.

"How about we play a game?" Butters suggested.

"That's the spirit!" Eric grinned. "See, dude, this is why I need you here! What did you have in mind?"

"Truth or Dare?"

A chorus of quiet, disapproving grumbles filled the room.

"God, no..." Eric grimaced.

Butters frowned.

"Why not?"

"Because we're not thirteen year old girls?"

"How about a drinking game?" Kenny offered.

"Like 'Never Have I Ever?'" Butters asked. He looked up at Eric from the floor. "That's the grown-up version, isn't it?"

"Perfect!" Eric replied, grinning at Kyle.

Kyle's throat clenched. If he was ever going to make it out of this house with his dignity he and Luke needed to leave now.

Stan sighed, raising his hands in defeat.

"Okay, I'm going home..."

"Dude, really?" Kenny asked.

"Yeah, aren't you?" Stan replied, arching an eyebrow.

Kenny shrugged and plopped himself down on the carpet.

"Shit just got interesting..."

Eric chuckled.

"Oh, it most certainly did, Kenneth..."

Kyle huffed, tugging at Luke's wrist and leading him to the door.

"Come on, let's go..."

But Luke didn't budge.

"Don't you wanna play?" he asked.

Kyle turned his head, eyebrows furrowed.

"Not really... do you?"

Luke shrugged, looked back at Kenny making Butters laugh on the carpet, and grinned.

"Kind of. It'll be fun!"

"Exactly, Luke!" Eric replied, as saccharine as ever. "It'll give you a chance to get to know us all a little better!"

"See!" Luke pleaded. He tugged Kyle towards him. "Come on, let's stay!"

Suddenly, Kyle was pulled back onto the couch again, with Luke holding onto him tighter than ever. Or maybe it just felt like that because he was undeniably trapped? He frowned, and noticed Eric smirking at him, clearly enjoying this.

Fucking shit.

"I'm gonna get some more drinks. Stan, are you staying or not?"

Stan glanced at everyone, before huffing and plopping himself down beside Kenny, cross-legged.

"God damn it..."

Eric returned with more beers, and the crack and hiss of the bottles opening in unison only tightened the knot in Kyle's stomach. He glared at Eric, hoping damn well he noticed. Although, it wasn't as if he would ever show it.

"Okay, who wants to go first?" Eric asked.

Kyle waited for someone to volunteer, and as the seconds dragged on he considered volunteering himself so it wouldn't fall to Eric.

"Alright, I guess I will," Eric continued, and Kyle cursed himself for not speaking sooner. "Never have I ever..." his wandering, thoughtful gaze landed on Kyle like a sniper's dreaded red dot. He grinned at his perfect target. "Fucked in a high school locker room?"

Kenny wolf-whistled, while Kyle raised the cold bottle to his lips and vowed to just get this over with. Eric drank at the same time, eyes on Kyle at all times. Their magnetic stares, the bitter beer disappearing down their throats perfectly synchronised just reminded him of those sweaty, intertwined times in the locker room. When Kyle would demand, ragged and low, that Eric look at him while he was pinned against the locker. Because although other rapturous words would fail him, if they could just look into each other's eyes there would be no need to speak at all.

Kyle jolted when he remembered Luke sat beside him, looking more confused and left-out than ever. It was if he had walked in on Kyle and Eric doing exactly what Kyle was just reminiscing about. He glared at Eric then, before Luke could say anything.

"Why the hell did you ask a question you had to drink to?"

Eric shrugged, infuriatingly nonchalant.

"I don't know," he replied. "It was just the first thing that came to my head. Do you wanna go next, Kyle?"

"No, thanks..."

"I'll go!" Kenny offered, raising his hand. "Never have I ever... had a threesome?"

Nobody drunk to that.

"None of you?" Kenny asked, eyebrows raised. He shook his head. "Jesus, what the fuck are you doing in college?"

"Just ask something else!" Stan snapped.

At least Kyle wasn't the only one who didn't want to be there. Although he guessed Luke was probably wishing they had just gone home now too.

"Fine. Never have I ever... been tied up or handcuffed... you know, in the sack."

Stan wrinkled his nose, and shook his head.

"Jesus, dude..." he muttered, but drank anyway.

Kenny couldn't contain his laughter, and it was so infectious that Kyle couldn't help but chuckle too.

"Holy shit, was it Wendy?" Kenny asked.

"No!" Stan snapped, before rolling his eyes. He scratched at his leg. "Yeah... she bought these pink, fluffy handcuffs for Valentine's Day... we thought it would be funny!"

Thankfully, nobody noticed Eric drinking. Except Kyle. How could he not? His gaze was burning holes through him.

"Oh, bonus question!" Eric chimed in. "Never have I ever... tied anyone up?"

Of course. Of course he wouldn't fucking forget. Kyle glared at Eric, and drank.

"Really?" Luke asked, leaning in. "You've handcuffed somebody?"

Kyle grimaced, and fidgeted. He thought any embarrassment he had about that incident was discarded following Eric's encouraging moans and whimpers, his name raining from his mouth and never sounding better as he writhed beneath him... how gorgeous he looked with his arms above his head, and his wrists bound together. Glistening, flushed from head to toe, and all Kyle's.

"Not exactly..." Kyle replied, shifting in his seat. "It was a scarf. It was just once..."

He was breathless, as though torn between two realities, two places, two identities and he was stretched to the point of breaking, snapping in half. That could never happen. It wouldn't happen, he couldn't give Eric the satisfaction. Although he was in desperate need of being satisfied right now. His jeans were growing tighter with every reminder of his and Eric's trysts, and he knew that even if he had the slightest chance of relief his mind would wander to Eric's touch, voice, scent, feel, and hazy golden eyes.

"Okay, I've got a good one," Eric said, seemingly unaffected by his guided tour down memory lane. "Never have I ever... been sucked off in Stan's bathroom?"

Kyle should've drank. But he was frozen. In disbelief that Eric would go that far, that he would reveal such an intimate memory. And not only that, but almost fall out of his chair laughing about it with Kenny like he didn't give a single fuck about how it affected Kyle. Maybe he just assumed that they didn't care about each other's feelings anymore? If so, then what the fuck was Eric was fighting for? Kyle no longer felt mortified, or anxious. His anger was thawing him out.

"What the fuck kind of question is that?!" Stan exclaimed, still very mortified.

"I noticed you're not drinking, Stan..." Kenny teased.

"Shut up, dude!"

Eric turned his attention to Kyle, expectant but goading. Like he knew he wouldn't dare drink. Well, fuck his expectations. Kyle returned Eric's hard stare, and drank.

"Dude!" Stan cried. "Kyle, what the hell?!"

Kyle pulled the bottle away from his lips so fast that some beer dribbled out of his mouth. Wiping his chin, he met Stan's horrified face.

"I'm so sorry..."

"No he isn't!" Kenny laughed, but quickly shut up when Kyle glared at him.

"Why, dude?" Stan asked. "When?"

Kyle had no idea how to answer, especially when Luke was so quiet beside him. No doubt feeling like more of an outsider than ever. Clueless, and desperate for answers. But Kyle couldn't do that to him, not ever but especially not tonight. He had to get out of there. The scent of beer, and leftover food, the living room dripping with memories, and everybody in it - but especially Luke and Eric - were suffocating. Kyle couldn't find his breath.

"I, uh... I can't..."

He stood up on wobbly legs. Hopefully he could blame it on the beer.

"Woah, dude, are you alright?" Stan asked.

"Yeah, babe, you okay?" Luke added, reaching out to support him.

Kyle wanted to answer, but hated all the attention. He feared if somebody stared long enough they would figure him out. At the very least they would figure out he had a semi.

"Yeah, yeah, I'm fine, I just..." he took a deep, shaky breath. "Need to go to the bathroom..."


In the midst of possibly the most devastating moment of Kyle's life thus far, Kenny appeared to be the only rational and unaffected witness. While Kyle, Eric, and Stan were left reeling, struggling to take excruciating glances of one another, Kenny was the one to suggest they all sit down and try to talk about what just happened. Even Eric agreed to that, when he could be so disagreeable when forced into a position of defence. They sat around Eric's dining table, and twenty minutes limped by in heavy, tense silence. Kyle chewed his lip as he contemplated words too scary to say out loud, wringing his hands together in an effort to stop their shaking. Eric was silent beside him, his hand placed on the table, still waiting for Kyle to take it. Kyle wanted to, his fingers clawing into the dirt as his legs dangled off a cliff. Eric was reaching out for him, offering him safety. But Kyle didn't know if he was strong enough to let go and grasp it, to let Eric pull him up.

Stan simply stared at the table, his eyes frozen in a wide, vacant position. Kyle imagined him replaying that mortifying moment over and over, and winced. Kenny sighed, throwing his head back.

"Jesus Christ, can somebody just fucking say something please?" he begged, rubbing his eyes.

"Go ahead, asshole!" Eric snapped. "You're the one who wanted us all to sit down and talk about this!"

"Hey, I just wanted a chill Saturday night, okay? But all that changed when you and Kyle decided to shove your tongues down each other's throats!"

Kyle grimaced, and watched Stan do the same.

"Hey, we didn't just decide to 'shove our tongues down each other's throats,' okay?" Eric replied. "This has been going on for two months now!"

The confession electrified the room. Kyle glared at Eric, but then wilted when he noticed Stan was staring at him too. Confused, and shocked, and... betrayed.

"Two months?" he said, before raising his voice. "This has been going on for two months? Why didn't you tell me, Kyle!"

Kyle opened his mouth to speak, but Eric replied for him.

"Because it's none of your fucking business!"

Gritting his teeth, he elbowed Eric's arm.

"Ow!"

"We didn't tell you because..." Kyle sighed. "It's not a big deal! Really, it's not..."

Out of the corner of his eye, Kyle saw Eric hang his head.

"Dude, it's a huge fucking deal!" Stan protested, before Kyle could get too distracted by Eric.

"Stan's right. I mean... what even is this?" Kenny asked. "Like, are you guys just fucking or-"

"Dude!" Stan interjected. Thankfully. Kyle's face was burning. "Kyle, you guys aren't... I mean, you haven't..."

Stan struggled like he didn't want to utter the words out loud. Kyle doubted he wanted to hear them either. He slid his gaze to Eric, shoulders hunched. Eric was already staring at him helplessly. What could they say? But apparently, their looks said it all. Stan groaned, pinching the bridge of his nose.

"Oh my god..."

"So is it just sex?" Kenny asked.

"No!" Eric and Kyle retorted in unison.

Somehow, that sounded less convincing. Kyle fidgeted in his seat.

"No," he added, shaking his head. "I... I don't know!"

Kyle regretted the words as soon as they came out of his mouth, because he knew it was a lie. Of course it was more! It was worth more than just sex, worth more than writing it off as something Kyle was unsure about. It was something he had never experienced with anyone else, and brought with it feelings he never knew existed, but that was too much to admit.

"It's more than that," he continued, hoping he would stumble upon an answer. "We're dating! But we're trying to keep it casual, and to ourselves. We didn't wanna tell anybody, and we still don't wanna tell anybody."

"Yeah..." Eric added, however meekly. He nodded. "Yeah, exactly..."

Kyle could hardly breathe as he waited for Stan and Kenny's response. If it was good enough, if they could live with it. Stan soon shook his head, rising from his chair. Everybody's eyes were drawn to him, but he couldn't face their stares.

"I'm sorry, I'm not..." he sighed, shaking his head again. "I can't listen to this right now. I'm just gonna..."

Stan stormed out of the living room before he could finish, heading for the kitchen. They watched him leave in silence, and looked to each other for an explanation. Kyle had to follow him. Heading into the kitchen, he saw that Stan was actually stood in the backyard, staring up at the sky with his hands in his pockets.

Without his jacket, he shivered as he stepped outside. At least he could blame any trembling on the cold evening. He made sure to shut the back door with a gentle click. Taking a deep, sharp breath Kyle took slow steps towards him.

"Stan..."

Kyle flinched when Stan turned around, angry and bewildered.

"Kyle, what the hell are you doing?"

The question stung more than the mountain chill. It was a question Kyle was unprepared to answer.

"Huh?"

"What the hell are you doing with him?" Stan asked. His eyes gleaming as if they were pleading for an answer. "Dude, I just don't understand!"

Kyle gritted his teeth, and hot anger swelled in his chest. He had spent years beating himself up and despairing over his feelings, and although it wasn't pleasant to have them called into question again, at least now he could give a solid answer. Actually say the words out loud, and be done with it. He huffed.

"I don't know what to tell you, man, I just like him! It all happened really quickly, but I like him a lot. Does that... clear things up for you?"

Stan wrinkled his nose, his eyebrows furrowed.

"No! No, of course it doesn't, Kyle! You bitch about him all the time! You're at each other's throats constantly-"

"Not..." Kyle stopped, rolled his eyes. "Not lately..."

"Yeah, well, now I know why! He's the biggest asshole on the planet, Kyle!" Stan's voice was starting to strain. "You've said so yourself!"

Kyle flushed from head-to-toe, hating how hard he had to try to explain his feelings for Eric when he knew they were inexplicable. They were strange, and overwhelming, and nothing he had ever felt before.

"I know!" he yelled. "I know, I have! I know exactly who he is, Stan!"

Stan exhaled, shaky and tired. He threw his arms up in defeat, or maybe resignation.

"So... then what is this, dude?" he asked, panting. His face was still creased with confusion and frustration. "What do you see in him?"

Kyle fiddled with the hem of his shirt and figured out what to tell Stan. But what could he say? He was just as exhausted, and exasperated, and the words struggled to leave his lips because he knew they would only prompt more questions.

"I told you, I know exactly who he is... and I know there's so much more to him." He fought the urge to smile. "I'm not saying you need to see it too, but you just need to know that I see something special in him. I feel it..." Kyle sighed. "When he smiles at me, and looks at me, and makes me laugh, and when we're alone... it feels right. Finally. After all these years it just feels... right."

Stan nodded, eyes wandering to the grass.

"Does that make sense?" Kyle asked, trying to reach his gaze.

"I guess..." Stan replied. He took a big breath and shook his head. "I don't know..."

Kyle looked at his sneakers and nodded. Admittedly, a little disappointed but not surprised. After all, one of the reasons he was so determined to keep him and Eric a secret was because he knew it would be hard to take.

"Seems like he makes you happy, though..."

Kyle slowly raised his head to Stan. He was waiting for his answer, but Kyle had none. He simply smiled, and nodded.

"Okay." Stan nodded, smiling too. "That's all that counts."

An elated warmth spread from Kyle's chest, and he was sure it was Stan's acceptance. His smile grew wider.

"Thanks, dude."

Stan shrugged.

"Hey, I'm your best friend, man," he replied. "I just want you to be happy."

Kyle nodded, tucking his hands into his pockets and taking a quiet, relieved breath.

"But as your best friend..." Stan said, stepping closer to Kyle. He looked into his eyes, and that pleading gleam returned. "Just promise you'll be careful, alright?"

Kyle choked on that relieved breath. He searched Stan's face for any clarity on what he meant but found none. Deep down, he knew exactly what Stan was afraid of. Kyle was afraid too. How could he not be? When what he felt was so huge, it was natural to fear that he might lose it all. Lose everything. He nodded, and followed Stan back inside.


Kyle didn't look back as he rushed up the stairs, content to leave the others to their stupid game. He just needed to be alone, free to pace, catch his breath, let his heartbeat mellow and his wild imagination simmer. He stumbled to the bathroom, panting, and his palm was slick as he twisted the doorknob. He nearly collapsed into the sink like it was a modest desert spring, although he knew it wouldn't quench his desire for what he really wanted. But that was out of the question. In fact, what he wanted was exactly who he was trying to escape from. This was just a band-aid. The stinging, cold water was relief for his hot face, pinching his cheeks and biting his fingertips. But it wasn't enough. He splashed and splashed, wanting to feel completely numb. Unaffected, fortified. It was the only way he was going to survive these few days. Hell, with Eric never too far from his mind, it was the only way he was going to survive period.

He braced himself, both hands gripping the edges of the sink until his knuckles strained white. He tried to steady his breaths, and raised his head to greet his dripping reflection. His cheeks were still flushed with anger, and shock, and arousal, and his lips were parted, speechless as before. Footsteps coming up the stairs and then padding down the hallway pulled him away from despairing over his pathetic reflection. In his rush, he had left the door open. But before he could shut it, Eric appeared, and Kyle stiffened immediately.

"Hey..." Eric whispered. His soft voice sounded strange to Kyle now, after his calculating questions and unyielding stares.

Kyle backed away, refusing to be sucked in.

"What's up?" he asked, as if he didn't know the answer. He was smiling already.

Kyle didn't care if it was bait. His jaw clenched now, and his damp fingers balled into fists.

"Drop the fucking act, Eric! You know what's up! What the hell do you think you're doing?"

"Huh?" Eric replied, a convincing crease in his brow. "I just wanted to see if you were okay since you fucking bolted-"

"Yeah, because of all those questions!" Kyle snapped. "What is wrong with you? Those things were... private, okay? They were supposed to be between you and me! And bringing them up in front of Luke was just-"

"Come on, the guy doesn't suspect a thing," Eric cut in, rolling his eyes.

Kyle huffed. As if Eric would have to deal with the consequences if Luke did suspect something.

"I wouldn't be so sure," Kyle said, folding his arms across his chest. "You weren't exactly subtle."

Eric hummed under his breath, as though he were actually considering that Kyle may have a point. In fact, he just appeared to be softening. His shoulders rose and fell gently, and he smiled as though he were only smiling to himself, recalling a pleasant memory. It reached his eyes, reminiscent and faraway from this place, their friends, and Kyle's boyfriend downstairs. Kyle wasn't even sure if Eric wanted him to be there, really. Certainly not the Kyle stood in front of him now, who had rejected him and snapped at him. He wanted the Kyle who had kissed him, and comforted him, who had laughed at his jokes, and had fallen asleep on his shoulder when the weekends stretched to eternity in his bedroom. Still, he was looking at Kyle the way he looked at him then. The look that made him feel delicate and powerful all at once, that even now clutched his heart and made it brim with anticipation.

"What..." Kyle choked on the word. "What are you looking at?"

Eric shrugged, shoved his hands into the pockets of his hoodie, and took slow steps towards him.

"What do you think I'm looking at?" he asked, eyes never leaving Kyle, and Kyle's feet didn't budge.

"I... uh..."

"I'm looking at you." Eric smiled, like it couldn't be any other answer. "It's been a while since I've seen you like this. All red, and flustered... I miss it." Kyle lifted his hand to his face, and cringed at how his cheek was still burning. He didn't even notice Eric was only a few inches away from him until it was too late. He tried to back away, but met the cold porcelain of the sink. A shiver ran down his spine, and Eric's gaze ran over him. "Kyle, you're so fucking gorgeous..."

No matter how many times Eric complimented him, it still threw Kyle as to how he should respond. He usually succumbed to a flattered, blushing smile, or replied with a kiss. But he couldn't do the latter, not again. Even if the temptation still existed, with Eric's mouth so close... he gulped, as if his weakening willpower frightened him.

"Th-thanks," he managed, his voice barely above a whisper.

His eyes roamed the room, determined not to meet Eric's own persistent gaze.

"And hey, I'm sorry about those questions..."

Kyle almost gave in.

"I guess they were a little over the line."

Kyle scoffed, and nodded.

"Yeah, just a little..." he muttered.

He had only let his guard down a fraction, and yet when Eric snickered he instantly drew Kyle's eyes to him. He was grinning, but a tooth snagged his bottom lip. Contemplating something, or resisting it, Kyle wasn't sure.

"Brought back some great memories though, right?" Eric asked, and his eyes lit up. "If you think about it - and I sure as hell do - we were pretty fucking amazing together. Remember? We couldn't keep our hands off each other..."

He murmured that last part, so humid and scintillating between them that Kyle couldn't stop the smile from spreading across his face. It sent the most content, vivid, and exhilarating memories of his life so far floating to the front of his mind, and he wasn't prepared to disperse them just yet.

"Yeah..." he nodded, looking into Eric's eyes. "I haven't forgotten."

Eric returned the smile, delighted.

"So you can't really blame me for asking those questions, can you? What was I supposed to do? There are so many memories in my living room alone. Remember that time my mom went to Vail for the weekend with that guy... what was his name? Saul? Gaul?"

Kyle chuckled.

"Paul."

"Yeah, that's right." Eric grinned, as if he cared. "Remember we fucked on the couch at least... eight times?"

"Six," Kyle corrected. "Non-consecutive times. On the sixth time it made a weird, squeaky noise like it was about to break so we stopped."

"Yeah, yeah, that's right." Eric chuckled, the fondness in his eyes smoothing the edges of his wickedness. It soon returned however, when his striking, golden eyes found Kyle's again. "We fucked on the carpet after that, didn't we?"

"Yes? I'm pretty sure you still got the carpet burn to prove it."

They laughed together, and the gentle, secretive noise thrummed between them. Eric shook his head, eyes roaming the room, and he sighed.

"Wow, we pretty much fucked in every corner of this house..."

The hyperbolic statement made Kyle hot all over, uncomfortable and squirmy.

"No, we didn't..." he muttered. But honestly, he wasn't entirely sure.

Yeah, they took advantage of having Eric's house to themselves when they could, and sex was a great solution to boredom, especially when it could often be so mind-blowing, and bone-melting. But they weren't animals! Kyle wasn't a sex addict! Not anymore, at least... although when he and Eric first started having sex he did fear he would develop an unhealthy craving for it, when he thought about it so much and wanted desperately to do it again whenever he had the chance.

"Wanna bet?" Eric teased. "Let's see, there was the couch, the carpet..." he counted each one off on his fingers. "The stairs, up against the living room wall, my bedroom wall, the bathroom wall..."

Kyle's skin prickled and his breaths started coming harder as Eric recounted each of their trysts one after the other. But maybe it wasn't just that? Maybe it was his velvet voice, and his usual, alluring scent buried beneath beer and pizza, and the tantalising, diminutive inches between them that let Kyle know Eric was just as warm as he was right now, and his lips Kyle wanted to kiss just so he would just shut the fuck up.

"Okay, okay, I get it-"

"My bed, my desk chair, the dining room table... the shower..."

Kyle glanced at the shower, and gulped as though he were a criminal too close to a crime scene. He shouldn't be there, it was too suspicious, too tempting.

Eric chuckled.

"Remember you almost pulled the shower curtain down when you-"

"Kyle?"

Luke appeared like a phantom in the doorway behind Eric, and Kyle froze as if a spirit had actually manifested itself. He pushed himself away from Eric, and wished he had splashed some more water on his face before he approached Luke.

"Hey!" he replied, bright but clumsy like a flickering bulb.

"Are you alright?" Luke asked. "You had me worried there for a second."

Kyle swallowed, and nodded a little too much.

"Yeah, yeah, I'm fine." he smiled. "Totally fine."

"Great..." Luke nodded, smiling too though it didn't last for long. "But maybe we should go home?"

Kyle almost fell to his knees at the suggestion. He nodded.

"Yeah, good idea..."

He looked over his shoulder at Eric, and he wasn't even trying to hide his disappointment.


A/N: Thank you so much for reading, and I hope you enjoyed! I'd love to hear your thoughts!