Sorry about the late update but I'm going to have to reformat my computer so I wanted to get this on before I did that (: This chapter get a little bit of an insite to Clary's past, just enough to satisfy your curiosity and leave you wanting more. :L
Disclaimer: All rights belong to the Author and creator Cassandra Clare.
SO here's the next chapter...
C Pov
Maybe I did make the right decision coming here I mean New York to Brooklyn isn't that big a change really. That just means it'll be easier for him to find me. This is such a mess I'll have to come clean to them eventually. I suddenly thought, while Magnus called out from a rack of far too expensive clothes.
"Magnus, Isabelle already took me shopping and spent too much money me. I don't need any more clothes." I practically whined. Being brought back to the current problem.
All the people I meet here are way too generous for their own good. I mean, what if I was just some gold digging Martian? Well, that's slightly extreme but still.
"Clary, you'll learn a few things from me. One of them being: you can never have too many clothes." He laughed. It was so odd to have such a tall, solid man wearing such bright colours. He had all these different colours in his hair-including sparkles- tight jeans, and a fluoro pink shirt, with a black waist coat. He just kept running around the store buying shit load of nothing, I know, I have a potty mouth but only in my head.
"Dude, I'm starving lets go back to the apartment." I yelled openly, hoping Magnus heard me, in which ever aisle he was in. "Fine, party pooper." He sighed, defeated.
"Well Magnus, I've never really been the party type." I responded laughing. He just scrunched his nose up at my dry humour.
So we strolled through this all too large shopping centre full of flashy shops, skinny girls and 'daddy's' pulling out there credit cards. The city really is an amazing place. I almost missed Magnus' car-which is hard- while pondering city life.
He owns a perfect white 'Maserati Granturismo' with bright red leather interior; very nice, and expensive.
So in Magnus' ridiculously posh car we're back out front of Jace's in 20 minutes. We head up carrying a huge amount of shopping bags and Magnus prattling on about something insignificant compared to everything going on in my head. The memories of why I came to Brooklyn in the first place just wouldn't stay out of my head for long. I need a distraction, cooking, perfect.
So I start making lasagne, it took time and care and hopefully if I was lucky, if God likes me today I'll set my mind at ease at least for a few hours.
"-that's why you wouldn't wear horizontal striped clothing." Magnus concluded as I busied myself around the kitchen.
"Any way Clary honey, as wonderful as that smells I have dinner plans with a certain boxing trainer." He laughed, smirked and winked at me. I mumble a 'catch you later' and he's gone leaving me alone in my apartment.
Leaving me alone with my thoughts, my memories, and my nightmares.
J Pov
97. 98. 99. 100. Ughh, I hate sit ups. My stomach muscles seem to agree by tearing in agony. However you just can't have a six pack like mine without them. I wonder if Clary likes buff guys. Pft, who wouldn't want this, I laugh and turn over onto my hands ready for push ups.
45. 46. 47. 48. 49. 50. My arms gave out and I hit the mat, hard.
"Jace, you finished with those sets yet?" Alec barked seeing me just lying flat on my stomach, seemingly oblivious to my pain. "Yes, mum." I responded being a smart ass, what's new?
He rolls his eyes. "Go punch the bag for a while, then you can cool down and go home." He finishes looking at me expectantly like I haven't been training for 4 hours. I sigh and drag my aching body to the bags, setting my feet up, shape up and start laying into the bag.
45 minutes and 8 busted knuckles later, Alec finally thinks I've trained enough. Today.
"Well then get out of here, and get a good's night sleep. I'll be training extra hard starting tomorrow." He yells after me. I spin around to look at him incredulously.
"Wednesday? Why Wednesday? That's such a random day." I ask, raising an eyebrow at him.
"Well, that means you've had 2 days of regular training which is counting a as a really long warm up before we get into the heavy duty, sweat inducing stuff." He responds and laughs at the obvious look of annoyance on my face. "Laters Jace."He chuckles heading towards his father's office, what's so appealing about that bland-ass office I'll never know?
I'd rather be out here, I think looking around at the sweating tired men's faces as they work for their living, job, everything. Yeah, this is where I belong. I nod to myself and start walking back to my place.
I wasn't really looking forward to going home, after the other night it's like walking on egg shells around her, I never know what'll make her freak like that. I was right about one thing, she can definitely cook but she's also way more damaged then I had thought, maybe we're more alike than it seems on the outside.
Damaged. It's weird hearing that word and not being associated with it. That was me 5 years ago, the damaged kid with a mysterious past. It's not fun I'll tell you that much but what did help as cliché as it sounds was; talking about it, letting someone, anyone in. Into the walls you hide behind.
For me, I hid behind my anger my frustration I didn't want to face the problem, just take out all the excess anger on other people. Thanks to the Lightwoods, I was able to turn that into something more productive. It just become my life, fighting.
I'm going to be that someone for her, that safe place, even if that's all she needs me to be. I'll do it. For her, I'll do anything. A week ago all that mattered was fighting but now; there's nothing I want more than to just protect Clary.
It's so weird; she's changed all my priorities. My list just shifted to accommodate her. I don't know why, it has to go further than physical attraction right? Wanting someone and wanting to help them mentally is different. It's like she's what I want, for everything, all the time.
But then again...that's normal for me, that's what it's like I want a girl, for a while. I'll get over this; Clary doesn't need to know how obsessed I am with her psyche, right? She doesn't need to know. I'm just a really possessive person, I'll get to know she won't need my help and we'll move on from whatever this is we have.
I know, I sound like a jealous, hypocritical prick but I never said I was anything but.
If I'm so sure about this why is making me so disappointed?
Well that was what I was thinking before I opened the apartment door and was it with an aroma that made me drool. My god, she cooked lasagne, I love lasagne. She's perfect, so freaking perfect.
As I was about to compliment her, I noticed her hunched, delicate shoulders shaking wildly, tears dripping from her face. Due to her hair, I could only see the tears while they fell. The next image will forever be engraved in my mind, the site of a broken girl, so beautiful so damaged. I could see it all, in her green eyes that were looking straight into mine, on the inside she was gone.
"Clary? What's wrong?" I asked tentatively walking towards her with my hand outstretched for her to take. She didn't move so I lowered my hand to hers and slowly brushed them along her hand she didn't respond. I took hold of her hand it was so limp and life less. I looked up into her eyes and she was looking at me so blank, she was like a different person.
Holding her hand, I lead her to couch, and she sat. So, I sat next to her, she twisted her head to look at me. She was doing that a lot, just staring at me.
"You're like him." She whispered. "So like him." She added. She was suddenly on her knees and leaning over me, she slowly grazed her hand down my face. She was in some kind of trance. She was just looking at me, examining my face.
"Like who Clary?" I asked. Trying to get a hold of her wrists, to anchor her down. She wasn't having it. She swung her leg over my lap, and was now straddling me. Oh dear god, this girl will be the death of me.
She leaned her head into my ear her cheek was slightly pressed against mine and she whispered in my ear; "My brother" She breathed.
"Why is that?" I asked trying to get her to sit still if she insisted on sitting on my lap. She looked into my eyes then her eyes trailed down to my lips and lingered, she bit her lip. As it good as it is to know that she wants me the same way I want her, I would never take advantage of her in this state. AT least that's what I was telling myself, chanting in my head. If she keeps moving like that, I don't how long my restraint is going to last.
"Cocky, arrogant." She said her face now right in front of mine now. "You think, women she fall to their knees in your presence like your god's personal greeting card to woman." She said huskily.
"But you would never do that, would you Jace? Never do what he did." She asked suddenly with a scared glint her eyes. Slowly removing herself from my lap. "You'd never do that to me." She whispered more to herself than me. Now she was once again situated beside me. I turned to her she was looking straight in front of her, at nothing. I stood and she flinched so I made my movement slow and exaggerated. I came to be kneeling in front of her with my face just in front of her. She wouldn't meet my eyes. "Clary. What did he do to me?" I asked slowly.
"He used to get so angry. They were just games, games. You're not supposed to be like that with games." She started rambling.
"Clary, calm down. Look at me. Just calm down tell me what happened." I said in a hushed whisper putting my hand on both sides of her face. She closed her eyes and her breathing slowed.
"His name was Jonathan." She suddenly said eyes still closed. "He was my big brother, 4 years older than me. He was perfect, at everything. He gave me hell whenever he wasn't. He was daddy's favourite. He never let me forget it, he was my big brother." She whispered again harshly, suddenly meeting my eyes.
"He was supposed to protect me." It was strangled sob that escaped her. "He was supposed to protect her." She said.
"Clary slow down" I whispered and she closed her eyes again. "Was? What do you mean was? What happened to your brother?" I asked. Her eyes opened and they connected with mine. I didn't see the young, carefree 17 year old with the entire world going for her. She looked like this broken child, who's fought through hell and back to escape a past she shouldn't have had, I saw me at 16, 5 years ago.
She whispered the last words I expected to hear from Clary, the new employee.
"I killed him."
Thanks for reading x
