"You shouldn't stare at it like you're doing, John, I don't think it's doing you any good," Teyla softly said.

Colonel Sheppard was standing in front of a wall in the mess hall, nears the bay window, with his gaze fixed on a photograph hanged to it.

A portrait. A picture of a smooth-faced man with much shorter hair than his own, but apart from these details the features of the man on this picture were disturbingly similar to his own. His lookalike on the portrait was wearing an impeccably starched and ironed uniform, and the insignias on his shoulders were the golden oak leaves of a major. The thin frame around it was a discrete black one, and under the picture were simply and soberly written two words: John Sheppard.

Colonel Sheppard was looking transfixed, staring at it as though he wouldn't be able to unglue his eyes from this photograph.

"John..." Teyla insisted, lightly squeezing his elbow in with her hand.

But it didn't rouse him from his mesmerised state of mind, and he seemed to be very far away from this mess hall, very far away from his own body in fact, lost somewhere in whatever had been this other John Sheppard's life. Or more probably his death.

"JOHN!" Teyla tried again, louder this time.

It finally worked and Sheppard turned his face toward her, seemingly coming back to where his body was currently standing. He didn't talk immediately, though, still taken by whatever uncomfortable feeling had seized him in front of this photograph. Teyla understood and gave him a few more seconds to fully come back to them.

"This is weird," Sheppard finally simply murmured.

She slowly nodded, closely flanked by two marines guarding her.

"Having two almost identical McKays in our Atlantis was weird too," Ronon agreed, "but at least they both were alive."

"Yes, I suppose this," Teyla added referring to the portrait on the wall, "feels entirely different."

"To say the least..." Sheppard mumbled.

"Doctor Weir's idea..." one of Teyla's two guards let out, surprising them all. "Sometimes we don't have any body to bury, or we can't bring it back here, and even when we do there's no graveyard on Atlantis anyway, so we bury our people over there on the mainland."

He paused and his colleague went on:

"She didn't want some sad and too solemn Memorial Wall – her words, not mine – so she decided that when one of our people dies, we hang a portrait of him or her somewhere in the city, where everyone comes and goes in everyday life, or in a place they worked in."

Oh, Teyla thought: that explained why she saw two portraits hung in doctors McKay and Zelenka's lab earlier in the day.

"Yes," the other marine echoed in a low voice as he was obviously addressing his teammate, "and now we have to hang her portrait in her office..."

The grief was obvious in his voice, and not for the first time Teyla thought that you could be a tough-looking no-nonsense warrior and yet have very human internal sorrows gnawing at your heart.

"Why isn't your Sheppard's military rank written before his name?" Ronon asked them.

"Weir's choice, again: she said that once we're dead there's no rank anymore, no orders given or taken, and no pre-eminence either."

"After all she was a civilian, remember..." the other one added.

"Come, let's have lunch before there isn't anything left," Ronon prosaically told his two teammates.

Teyla and John followed him in silence, with Teyla's two guards in tow, and on their way they passed by another portrait: a thirty-something brown-haired military woman. Under her picture Sheppard briefly saw three words in Cyrillic which he was absolutely unable to decipher – Ксения Фёдоровна Бородина – and below these were also three others he was able to read: Ksenia Fiodorovna Borodina. Another Atlantian lost to the Pegasus Galaxy, certainly.


The three of them were eating quietly, feeling the rather oppressing presence of Teyla's two 'guardian angels' standing by their table like statues. Sheppard had purposefully sat with his back to his twin's portrait in an attempt to get it out of his mind, Teyla was absent-mindedly chewing on a mouthful of tava beans, an Ronon was looking at her with a frown.

"You're awfully silent," he commented.

It tore her away from whatever her thoughts had brought her mind to.

"I was wondering..." she replied, "... where are we?"

Ronon, Sheppard and the two marines looked at her clearly surprised.

"In the mess hall," Ronon provided matter-of-factly. "Eating lunch. Are you... feeling alright?"

She shook her head.

"No", she said, "no, I meant... the Teyla Emmagan and the Ronon Dex of this reality... where are they?"

"Oh, that!" Ronon said, sounding relieved. "I wondered about that too yesterday, when we arrived here. I s'pose they never joined these Atlantians, never even met them."

"If they exist at all..." Sheppard said.

"What d'you mean?"

"Well... Madison," John simply said by way of explanation.

Both Teyla and Ronon frowned, clearly at a loss as to how it explained anything. Sheppard saw the look on their faces and elaborated:

"Rodney's niece doesn't even exist in this reality, obviously. With Jeannie having left for Antarctica and then Atlantis, and probably never even hooked up with Miller..."

Teyla's eyebrows rose in understanding.

"Whereas Rod's sister from the other alternative universe had not only a daughter, but two other sons!" John went on. "And likewise, the child McKay and Carter made together in this reality we just barged in, doesn't exist in ours... and never will!"

Ronon slowly nodded.

"I see..." he said. "I see what you meant: perhaps here, my parents never even met?"

"Or perhaps they did..." Teyla added, "but your alter ego simply never crossed path with the Atlantians... Maybe he even never became a runner!"

"Perhaps the Wraiths simply never attacked Sateda," Ronon said, sounding hopeful.

"Or perhaps they killed him," Sheppard said before he could stop himself. "Sorry," he added when he saw Ronon's face, "I shouldn't have... I mean... Maybe he's simply currently living there a nice life with a nice lady..."

Melena... Ronon thought. Perhaps she was still alive in this universe. If she existed at all, that is...

"When they checked on us in the infirmary yesterday," Teyla softly said, "Atema told me they never heard of Athos. I wonder what becomes of the Athosians in this universe... If this reality's Tagan and Torren exist and are still alive..."

"And if they had a daughter named Teyla?" Sheppard asked.


"I told you there's no more stew!" the military cook told a civilian technician somewhere behind them.

"I'm sure there's some left, but you're saving it for your buddies!"

"No I'm not. There is nothing left! It's already a miracle I managed to prepare enough meals for all of us, with the restrictions and the low stocks. You should on the contrary thank us for that!"

The voices were raising, and several people around got up from their seats to try to calm things down – or to take part to the quarrel, for a handful of them. The situation finally simmered down, and Teyla though that having the burly nurse Atema Nagoli putting his impressive physical presence between the arguing parties contributed to make the squabble subside. Other people reasoned with their comrades on edge, the tension in the air was appeased and the atmosphere went back to normal.

The issue was now closed and everyone went back to their own plates or whatever business they had been at before.

"I thought we had finally all gotten over the edginess and irascibility of withdrawal syndrome due to our coffeelessness!" a female voice Teyla recognised said from a few feet behind her. "But not everyone has, apparently."

Eleni Tsavidou and Atema Nagoli passed by their table.

"Coffeelessness, uh?" the hefty African nurse told his friend. "You know, being a linguist should not make you feel compelled to make up new words."

"Hey, coffee deprivation is messing with my brain functions, okay? I'm direly lacking the fuel I usually run on, like almost everyone else here... This sort of chicory we trade with the Telnorrans is nothing like true real coffee! As far as food is concerned, I've never been much into any kind of ersatz, anyway."

"Hmm, I remember how cranky McKay had been for a few weeks after we totally ran out of your precious black gold months ago. And you were not far behind!" Atema teasingly added.

"Oh please, not you too Brutus! I know most people tend to think I'm worse than she is, but you at least know better... I mean, I saw a few people of the physics department in tears because of her remarks or dressings down just after we ran out of coffee! At least I work alone, when I'm moody no one has to bear the brunt of it!"

"Except perhaps your best pal?"

"Have I ever ripped into you?"

"Not that I remember, and it is still a mystery why you feel the need to do so at everyone else..."

"I don't, I just can't bear idiots who waste my time."

"There are not so many idiots on this base, Eleni, or they wouldn't have been chosen for this expedition. And doctor Beckett is certainly the exact opposite of an idiot, so why–"

"There's echo around here it seems, I remember we already had this convers–"

"And you didn't listen at the time."

"Look, I know he's your boss so you feel the need to stand up for–"

"He's not only my boss, he's a friend. Know this word? And he's a good man, you just don't appreciate his sense of humour when it's directed at you. You can take my jokes, why couldn't you take his?"

"Seems I'm impervious to Scottish humour, apparently."

"And Canadian, and Belgian, and Russian, and American, and German, and Cz–"

"Alright, alright," Eleni surrendered, worn down "I get it, I'm a terribly moody person who's lucky to have at least made one friend here, and you're a saint for bearing with me!"

"I'm still surprised not to see any halo around my head when I look at my reflexion in the bathroom mirror every morning. But joking aside," he said in a more serious tone of voice, "arguments like the one we just witnessed around the salad bar have been more and more frequent lately... Ever since Weir died, I mean. Weir and Sumn–"

"I know what you mean," Tsavidou cut him short. "And yes, you're right, we're all being rath..."

The rest of her sentence and of their conversation was lost as they walked too far away for the four trans-dimensional guests to hear them anymore.

"They are in quite a mess here," Sheppard commented for his friends in a low voice, "still cut off from Earth, and now with no leader at all anymore..."

Even though he tried not to talk too loud, he saw Teyla's two guards tense a bit at being reminded their predicament.

"And with no coffee left!" a very familiar voice moaned from behind John.

"Rodney!" Teyla said, "nice to see you poke your nose out of the lab!"

And sure enough, when Sheppard turned he saw their McKay standing behind him, carrying a pile of fruits and sandwiches in his arms.

"Have to take care of avoiding low blood sugar, y'know..."

"Of course..." Sheppard said in a knowing tone of voice and a slightly raised eyebrow which couldn't be lost on the others. "Here, have a seat," he added, pushing his own chair to the side to make room for their teammate.

"Thank you colonel, but I can't: I've just come here to get a refuel, you know," Rodney answered, hinting at the pile of food he was almost cradling in his arms, "to recharge my batteries... I must go back to the lab now, I wouldn't want to leave those kiddies alone for too long, they wouldn't get anywhere by themselves."

This time Sheppard's eyebrows almost reached his hairline and even Teyla couldn't totally suppress an amused facial expression at Rodney's well-known antics.

"You know, these guys have been here for three years without you, Mc Kay," John said, "and they haven't blown up the city yet: I think they are pretty good scientists themselves."

Rodney shrugged:

"Bah, indeed they are lucky they have this Jeannie, she's satisfactorily adequate," he acknowledged. "Brainy, even. But she is so arrogant! I don't think you can imagine how much!"

"Oh, I think we can imagine rather accurately," Sheppard deadpanned, looking at their two other teammates who were having a hard time keeping a poker face: Ronon lowered his gaze to his plate to hide his grin, and the corner of Teyla's lips twitched a bit.

"Have you and the other doctor McKay made any progress as to fix our current predicament?" she simply asked him.

"Some, yes."

"Oh, so when are we leaving here and going back home?" Ronon asked.

"Hey, we're geniuses, we're not God, okay? Just... be patient. For the moment we think we have the beginning of the equation translating the phenomenon which led the four of us here in the first place, but this equation still has many unknowns. Give us time and let us work."

And with these words, Rodney left them there and brought his mighty brains, his massive ego and his stack of food back to the other McKay's and Zelenka's lab.