A/N: This chapter is a little shorter than usual. Just sayin'. Let me know if you like it? Thx



Jim stripped off his somewhat grimy travel clothes and turned the water in the shower as hot as he could stand. It felt good to be in an Earth shower after so long and he stayed as long as he wanted, the luxury of the waste not lost on him. When he was feeling more relaxed, he left the shower to brush his teeth and dress in his pajamas. A little early, yeah. But his body had no idea what time it really was and he knew he'd be in bed before too much longer.

"Hey," he said as he emerged from his bedroom, his hair still damp, the curls more in evidence.

"Better?" Spock asked. He had also showered and dressed in a pair of loose fitting black pants that were more attractive than they had the right to be. As was the black silk shirt he was wearing.

"Better," Jim agreed, sitting on the couch next to where Spock was seated in one of the comfortable chairs. Spock handed Jim the cold bottle of Dos Equis, condensation on the smooth surface. "Thanks."

Spock nodded at that, eating more of his salad, and casually studying Jim who had stretched out on the couch, his head held up by several fat cushions. "Have we dated sufficiently?" Spock asked out of the blue, making Jim laugh.

"What?"

"While we were aboard the Dierdre you stated that we could not go from best friends to best friends with benefits without the intervening steps. While I recognize our timing is questionable, I desire to take the step that comes after 'dating'," Spock explained, sounding vaguely scientific as though he were explaining how dilithium makes a starship run.

"I see," Jim laughed. "I don't believe I've ever been propositioned in quite that manner before."

Spock gracefully rose from his chair and sat on the couch by Jim's waist, putting Jim's bottle on the table before staring down at him with fire in his black eyes. "Perhaps this is the method to which you are accustom," Spock suggested, the fire from his eyes making his voice smoky, and sexy, and irresistible.

"Depends on what comes next," Jim whispered, staring up at Spock, a hunger in his eyes Spock recognized.

"This," Spock said quietly, leaning closer to very gently kiss Jim's mouth, an almost chaste kiss.

"You taste like salad dressing," Jim said, his words creating tiny puffs of warm air to cross Spock's lips.

"And you taste like toothpaste," Spock returned, kissing his lips again before turning to his cheeks and working his way up to the blue eyes that were endlessly fascinating to him. They momentarily closed as Spock gently kissed the lids in turn. "Have we dated a sufficient length of time?" he whispered into Jim's right ear before taking the lobe between his teeth.

"Oh yeah," Jim breathed, his hips rising on their own. "Definitely."

"Good. I do not want to wait any longer," Spock said, returning to kiss Jim's mouth. This kiss was harder, Spock's tongue entering Jim's mouth and getting to know his tastes. Jim savored Spock's delicious kiss, making him want for more.

"We should move this into one of the bedrooms," Jim suggested softly, his fingers threaded through Spock's black hair, enjoying the texture of the gossamer strands. Oh God, Jim thought. Gossamer strands. I have it really bad.

"What are you thinking?" Spock asked, kissing him before he could answer.

"How beautiful you are," Jim lied. Well, it was only a tiny white lie. No way was he going to admit that his inside voice had turned into a romance novelist while he was distracted. "Before we go further, will you explain to me about bonding and what it means?"

Spock kissed his enticing lips once more before straightening. Jim was glad he remained seated on the edge of the couch so that Jim could continue to enjoy his presence and the heat radiating from him. It wasn't just regular Vulcan heat; it was I-want-you-in-every-way-possible heat. Of that Jim was entirely certain because he was about to become an inferno himself.

"It is possible for Vulcans to enter into a relationship of an intimate nature without bonding," Spock said.

"Like you and Uhura."

"Precisely. It is satisfactory to do so."

"Satisfactory?" Jim repeated.

"When Vulcans bond, their relationship is completed. They become one with their bondmate. It is a life-bond. There can be no other in either partner's life. The bond unites them in ways that non-Vulcans cannot comprehend."

"A mind meld is part of it?" Jim asked.

"It begins it," Spock confirmed. "So that our thoughts are one…"

"…and together," Jim finished.

"Precisely. If either partner were injured, the other would be aware. If one died, the survivor will suffer until a healer can temper the pain of the severed bond."

"Even if one is a Human?" Jim asked.

"A Human would feel the pain to a lesser degree but would still be aware of the fractured bond," Spock explained.

"Okay," Jim said, sensing there was more to be said and waiting for Spock to decide how to convey the other information.

"Being bonded also ensures that both parties will enter pon farr when it is time," Spock said evenly, the words not easy for him to speak out loud.

"Pon farr," Jim repeated.

"Do you know the meaning of it?" Spock asked cautiously.

"I have an idea. I know it's the time of mating. Most Humans have at least heard about it," Jim said, still looking up at Spock, his eyes unafraid.

"Yes," Spock said, again considering his words carefully. "Some call it madness. I have not yet experienced it. Apparently my dual heritage makes mine unpredictable. I have heard of others whose cycles were disrupted by the destruction of our planet."

"Cycles?" Jim repeated.

"Under ordinary circumstance, pon farr occurs every seven years. These are not ordinary circumstances."

"And you should have already gone through it the first time?"

"Vulcans generally experience it at full maturity - 25 to 30 Earth years of age."

"But you haven't," Jim said.

"I have not. However, before we enter into a relationship of an intimate nature, you must be fully cognizant of what it means should I enter into the fever."

"I do understand. And I'm not worried about it, Spock. I'm a lot stronger than you might think."

"I am aware," Spock assured him.

"And after we bond, will you be able to read my thoughts?"

"If we bond, I will be aware of those thought to which I am allowed access. Barriers can be constructed. Bondmates respect the privacy of the other."

"If we bond," Jim repeated, studying Spock closely. "Is bonding with me what you want?"

"It must be a mutual decision. Only one cannot choose it."

"That doesn't answer my question, Spock," Jim pointed out. "Do you want to bond with me or not?" Spock hesitated before answering, Jim growing impatient. "Well. Do you?"

"I believe you know the answer to that, Jim."

"Maybe. I need to hear the words. And I need to know why you are hesitating."

"I am all too aware of your reputation. I harbor some concerns that I alone will not be sufficient," Spock finally admitted.

"You think I can't be faithful to you," Jim said in a hard tone.

"I fear I will be inadequate to fulfill all of your needs," Spock said.

"Fulfill all of my needs?" Jim repeated, sliding to sit up and stare at Spock, careful to make sure his pajama pants were not left behind. "I don't have sex on bar tables or in my Captain's chair. At least not yet."

"I am aware. However your sexual experience is vastly greater than mine. What if I am unable to be the partner that you require?"

"You are failing to factor one very important element into your equation," Jim told him.

"What is that?" Spock asked, wishing Jim didn't look so angry and so hurt. They had not even gotten fully past the dating stage and he had already managed to cause Jim pain.

"Love, Spock. You aren't some passing fancy I found at a bar. You aren't a quick pick-up to fill some time. I'm in love with you," Jim said quietly but firmly, giving him the truth he thought Spock already possessed.

"Yes," Spock said in response.

"I think I was looking for a little more than 'yes'. This isn't a quiz."

"I am aware of your feelings for me. What I am uncertain about is if I have those same feelings in equal measure."

"You aren't scared you don't have them," Jim corrected. "You're scared to admit that you do have them." Jim knew he was right when Spock stood up and walked several paces away from the couch.

"This is a mistake."

"Which part, Spock? Me telling you how I feel? Or telling you how you feel? Do you want to return to San Francisco tomorrow? I'm sure you can get a shuttle back to Spacestation VanHalen," Jim said. His voice was carefully controlled and almost neutral. Well, this was certainly a fine how-do-you-do. And not at all the way he had envisioned this night ending. Stupid Vulcan pride.

"I have no intention of leaving," Spock assured him.

"Then which part is the mistake? Don't close down on me. We're both in this," Jim said firmly.

"I do not wish to hurt you," Spock said, his back turned to Jim.

"That's something you ought to have considered ten minutes ago before you propositioned me. I'm not going to be a roll in the hay to you. I want all of you or none of you. If that's not what you want, then I'm sorry."

"Should we not explore our sexual compatibility prior to entering into a permanent bond?" Spock asked sensibly.

"How long do you propose we conduct this exploration? A week? A month? Until you are ready to admit that you are, in fact, in love with me?"

"You cannot know that for certain," Spock said, turning to face him.

"Oh yes I can. I feel it. I see it in your eyes. I heard it when you thought I wanted Bones to come. And I also know that the first Kirk and the first Spock were more than friends."

"That does not make it true in this timeline," Spock said.

"Maybe not. When you suggested we go past dating, was it only because you want to have sex with me?"

"I…do not know," Spock admitted, sitting back in his chair, his spine ramrod straight, his hands clasped tightly together. "I cannot imagine my life without you in it. You are often the last thing I think of at night and the first thing when I awaken. I have gone to the Mess simply because I knew you would be coming to eat."

Jim had to laugh at that, shaking his head. "And that's not love?"

"Uhura called it a crush when she witnessed two ensigns acting in a similar manner. I do not want to risk our futures on something as insubstantial as a crush."

"It's not just a crush. We are meant to be together. And I regret you don't feel as certain about that truth as I do," Jim said, picking up his Dos Equis. "I'm going to bed. We'll finish this discussion …later when we both aren't quite so tired."

"Yes," Spock agreed, watching Jim disappear into his bedroom, instantly regretting allowing him to leave. But chances were good that Jim was right. They needed a little time. Because apparently Spock didn't know what he wanted. Not really. Outside of never loosing Jim, making love with him, marrying him, growing old with him, having his babies if it were at all possible.

Spock gave an uncharacteristic sigh, going into his own bedroom and closing the door. Meditating for an hour provided no clarity and he gave up and got into bed. He sure hoped this was love because if it wasn't, he could not imagine how much more complicated love could be than this already was.