Author's Note: Okay, so I realize some things weren't clear last chapter. As for the Bamon kiss, Damon is compulsive. He's always done what he wants, when he wants. He kissed Elena right after he found out she was dating Stefan. This was a little along the same line, and will be explained this chapter. Thanks for your awesome reviews! Without further ado, here's chapter seven. Enjoy!
I DO NOT OWN VAMPIRE DIARIES OR THE CHARACTERS.
Music Credit: "Breaking The Habit" by Linkin Park
Chapter Seven:
~*.*~
'Memories consume,
Like opening the wound.
I'm picking me apart again.
You all assume,
I'm safe here in my room.
Unless I try to start again.
I don't want to be the one,
The battles always choose.
'Cause inside I realize,
I'm the one confused.
I don't know what's fighting for,
Or why I have to scream.
I don't know why I instigate
And say what I don't mean.
I don't know how I got this way –
I know it's not alright.
So I'm breaking the habit.
I'm breaking the habit tonight.'
~*.*~
I groaned as I opened my eyes. My head is killing me. I feel like I have a hangover. I know that I don't, but that's what it feels like. So much happened last night and it's still all whirling around in my head. I finally made a decision, in more than one way. I decided to take control of my life and to move in with the Salvatores. I just have to wait for the right time to tell the Glass'. I know they won't take it well. I have a sinking feeling in my gut that it isn't going to go well. Something's going to happen. Something always does. This isn't going to end clean. I know that much.
Stefan's POV
I threw a pillow at Damon's head. I kept throwing things until he sat up.
"What the fuck Stefan?! Did a bunny bite you back? Or did you finally try to remove the stick from your ass? Because you better have a fucking good reason for waking me up this morning." Damon growled. He sped from bed and slammed me against the wall, holding me up by me neck.
"What the hell was that last night Damon?" I growled.
"That's what you're so bent out of shape about? It was just a kiss Stefan. You don't own her." Damon let go of me.
"You knew we were dating."
"One date, brother, one. And if I'm not mistaken Witchy told us both that she didn't know what she wanted. She hasn't chosen."
"It's not a competition."
"I didn't say it was. Incidentally, the kiss wasn't about you. It wasn't about me, okay, it was about me a little. It was about her. She's trying to take back her body. I'm helping. So, before you start ripping people's heads off, maybe you should check next time." Damon laid back down, butt-ass naked. I should make sure he's clothed next time I wake him. Mental note. Check.
Bonnie's POV
I can't believe Damon kissed me. I think I know why he did it. He spent so long shopping with me yesterday. He said he wanted to help me but I'm not naïve. I'd be lying if I said I didn't feel a little something for both of them. There's still so much I don't know about them and they don't know about me. Romantic entanglements just sound like a bad idea right now.
I sighed and crawled out of bed. Today is the day I'm going back to work. I'm meeting Grams for breakfast and a magic lesson. Then I'm off to the Grill for the day. I've missed working. It's something I got so used to. Sadly, I honestly enjoy it. It's always been a constant in my life.
I walked to the bathroom in the guest room. I wonder if this will be my room if we're able to pull this off. Maybe I could decorate, make it feel like mine. I've never been able to do that. Sharon decorated the entire house, my room included. It always had to stay her way.
I stepped into the shower, enjoying the hot spray of water. It's so nice being able to shower without unwanted interruptions here. I don't have to worry about anyone walking in on me.
I got ready, taking my time. I blow-dried my hair and left it wavy. I did my best to cover the bruises in my face with concealer. I added a little bit of eyeliner. I decided to wear the red undergarments that Damon picked out for me. I'm supposed to be confident now. I've gotta take baby steps. These are baby steps.
I chose a long sleeve, burgundy shirt with a pair of dark-wash jeans and purple flats. I'm going for comfort today. I can do this.
"Just concentrate on lifting the feather into the air. Visualize what you want to happen and will it to." Grams coached. I nodded. I closed my eyes and saw it happening. Light feather, floating… "You've done it." She told me. I opened my eyes and saw it floating down.
"Oh my God. I didn't think anything would actually happen." I smiled.
"If you want something to happen, you have to believe it. Have faith in your magic, Bonnie. You have it you just have to tap into it." She told me. I nodded and kept trying. I got to the point where I could levitate half the things in the room without draining myself. "Okay, there's one more thing I want you to try before you leave today. I want you to try to light this candle." She told me. She placed an unlit candle in front of me. Fire? That's a completely different element. She seemed to sense my hesitation. "Just focus. You can do it." She squeezed my hand. Fire, fire, fire. I concentrated. "Bonnie!" Grams yelled. I opened my eyes and the candle jar was on fire.
"Oops," I dumped my coffee on it. It went out. "Sorry," I apologized. She laughed.
"You did well. Keep practicing. You'll get there." She hugged me. We made plans for another lesson soon. I left her house and headed to the Grill. I made my way to the back and clocked in. I put my purse in my locker and put on my apron. I put my phone in my pocket and went to find Matt.
"You're alive!" Matt smiled. I nodded. He picked me up and hugged me.
"I missed you, too." I laughed. "Remind me not to fall down anymore stairs." I joked. He laughed.
"It's been so long. I'm used to seeing you almost every day. It's been too Bonnie-less around here. I was having withdrawals."
"I'm back now. I'm sure you're fine." I teased.
"You've have some customers miss you." He told me.
"Oh, who? The regulars?" I asked.
"Them and a certain guy that kept asking about you, I think his name is Travis." Matt teased. I felt my eyebrows rise.
"The hottie with the lip ring?" I asked. Matt smirked.
"So you think I'm hot?" Travis came up from behind me. I blushed. Matt set me up. That dog. I can't date the Salvatores, not if a custody battle is about to come around. And I'm not ready to date anyone else.
"Maybe," I told him. Think confidence. If Damon was a girl and in my position, he'd be all over him.
"Hot enough that you'd let me buy you a coffee?" He asked, smiling.
"I'm on the clock and I don't drink coffee." I told him.
"Could I take you out sometime?" He asked. I hesitated.
"I'll think about it." I told him.
"Do you still have my number?" He asked. I shook my head.
"I lost it when I fell down the stairs. That's why I've been gone all week." I told him. "Can get you a coffee?" I asked him. He nodded.
"As long as I can get your number with it." He smiled.
"I'm not looking for anything romantic right now… I have some stuff going on…" I told him. He nodded slowly.
"Okay, well, then how about I just get to know you better and you can have another friend. No harm right?" He tried. I smiled.
"Alright."
~*.*~
'Clutching my cure,
I tightly lock the door.
I try to catch my breath again.
I hurt much more than any time before –
I had no options left again.
I don't want to be the one
The battles always choose.
'Cause inside I realize,
That I'm the one confused.
I don't know what's worth fighting for,
Or why I have to scream.
I don't know why I instigate
And say what I don't mean.'
~*.*~
"You look like you're doing better." David came up from behind me. I jumped. I was walking to my car after my shift at the Grill.
"It's just make-up. The swelling is down. My ribs are still broken, thanks to you." I told him, still walking away from him.
"I'm sorry about what happened. I should have had more control over myself. I shouldn't have let my jealousy get in the way. You know how protective I am over you. I just lost control. I didn't mean it, Bonnie. It will never happen again. You have to believe me." He pleaded. He looks frazzled.
"Sure, I believe you. It won't happen again until you lose your temper. Then it'll be worse than it was this time. That's how it always works. When it's not you, it's Sharon. You can't kiss away the damage she does. You're not right. This isn't right. This isn't how you're supposed to treat a child. You're supposed to act like a father, not a jealous boyfriend." I stood my ground.
"Bonnie, please. I'm trying. Doesn't that mean anything? You know I don't want to lose you. You and your mother mean everything to me." He grabbed my arm and pulled me to him. I tried to pull away but couldn't.
"It's too little, too late. Let go of me David."
"You know I can't do that, Bonnie." His grip on me tightened. I whimpered.
"What are you gonna do? Hit me in public? Does it make you feel better?" I taunted. If it's gonna happen, it's gonna be on my terms. He backhanded me. I felt my lip split open. I can feel the blood dribble down my chin. "How does hurting me make you feel? I don't think I've ever asked you before." I said.
"You know I don't like hurting you, baby. You know I don't. Why do you make me do it? Why can't you just listen to me?" He asked, blaming me.
"I didn't make you do anything. I'm not your 'baby'. I'm not yours." I told him. He reached back and pulled my hair, forcing me to look up at him.
"You're mine. Don't you get that? I love Sharon. God, I do. I love her. But, she's not you, Bonnie. She's not as young, as beautiful… I can't control her. You've grown so enticing. No one turns me on like you do. I love you so much. Why can't you see that?" He pinned me against the brick wall of the back of the Grill. He started pulling at my clothes.
"No! No! This isn't happening. You can't keep hurting me! Don't. Please. Stop." I begged. He easily overpowered me. I fought with everything I had. He unbuckled his pants and pulled his dick out of his boxers, fully erect. I cried. He ripped the button off of my jeans and pushed them down. I kept struggling. He ripped off my underwear and hit me again. He put a condom on and pressed his lips to mine. I bit his lip. He pulled me from the wall and slammed me back harder.
He pushed inside of me. I can feel my walls tearing. I sobbed harder. No. No. I was finally safe. No. He moved quickly and ruthlessly.
"Stop!" I kept yelling for him to stop. He didn't. He kept hitting me and thrusting inside of me.
"Fuck, you're so tight." He mumbled then he started pulsing inside of me. He pulled out and let me fall to the ground. "That wasn't so bad, was it?" He asked.
"It was worse." I managed to stand up and tried to pull my clothes back the best that I could. He reached out to me again.
"Get your hands off of her!" Matt ran over and pushed him away. He had his phone out. "Yeah, this is Matt Donovan. There's an emergency at the Grill. Bonnie Bennett was raped by her father. Please hurry."
I can't stop shaking. They keep asking me questions and won't stop. Liz took so many pictures for evidence. She told me the Grill has a security camera that caught everything. That's the last thing I wanted to hear. That means other people would have to see it, too. He should go away for a long time.
She asked me how long the abuse had been going on for. I told her. I always thought it would be so difficult to finally rat them out, but once I started talking I just couldn't stop. I told her what she asked and then some. I told her how I had been staying with the Salvatores because they found out. I told how Zach offered to take me in so I'd have a safe place to stay.
I told her that I didn't want a big trial. I want to handle everything as quietly as possible. I'm already known as the girl who lost her parents. I don't want to be known as the girl who was abused, too.
She finally let me leave. Zach stayed to talk to Liz. I'm sure he's hired a lawyer by now. I only heard half of what everyone was saying. I could hear it, but nothing sank in. I couldn't process anything. I'm just numb.
Damon and Stefan took me back to the boarding house. Stefan kept trying to talk to me. It just couldn't register with me. I kept trying to listen, but all I heard was silence. He finally gave up and headed upstairs. Damon stayed with me, just watching me and drinking. He moved next to me and helped me to my feet. I followed him, slowly. I'm not sure where we're going. He led me to his room. He took off my shoes and helped me into bed with him. He held me and stroked my face. The contact broke me out of my trance. I started crying and I couldn't stop.
My head feels foggy. I looked around me, recognizing Damon's room. I must have fallen asleep in here. I don't really remember coming in here. Truthfully, I don't remember much after David last night. I don't want to. I'm okay not remembering. But, he's the one thing I can't seem to forget, no matter how hard I try.
"Do you wanna talk about it?" Damon asked. I shook my head.
"No yet, I'd rather talk about anything else." I told him. He nodded. I thought on it for a minute. "You know, you're different with me than you are with everyone else."
"How so?"
"You tone it down. It's like – you try to be better around me. You never make a big deal out it and I know you think I don't notice, but I do." I sat up, slowly. "Why is that?" I asked him, quietly.
"Maybe I think you deserve better," he told me. He looks sad.
"Better than what?"
"Better than me." He looked me in the eyes. I put my hand on his face.
"Did you ever consider the fact that I like you how you are, Damon?" I asked. He looked surprised. "I like that you're cocky and unapologetic. It's refreshing. Too many people are fake. You don't care what people think about you. Why start now?"
"There's this girl," he started. I chuckled.
"There's always a girl. And when she's the right one, she'll accept you for who you are just like I do." I told him. I gave him a hug. It's still kind of soon for physical contact. "Help me up? I want to shower." He helped me up and helped me walk to his bathroom. He went to get my things and I took the longest, hottest shower of my life. I must have washed my body more times than I can count. I just want to feel clean again.
~*.*~
'I don't know how I got this way.
I'll never be alright.
So, I'm breaking the habit.
I'm breaking the habit tonight.
I'll paint it on the walls.
'Cause I'm the one at fault.
I'll never fight again
And this is how it ends.
I don't know what's worth fighting for,
Or why I have to scream.
But now I have some clarity,
To show you what I mean.
I don't know how I got this way.
I'll never be alright.
So, I'm breaking the habit.
I'm breaking the habit.
I'm breaking the habit tonight.'
~*.*~
Author's Note: Alright, SO I know there have been a lot of Bamon moments lately, don't worry. Stefonnie will get their time next chapter. SO, this was a big chapter. A lot happened…. Damon will definitely be acting more Damon-like in the future. As always, reviews would be greatly appreciated. Stay excellent!
Xo Xo
Anneryn
