"I am an awful person."

Kurt was not a one night stand kind of man. Mostly because it took time for him to trust someone and he needed to feel more than just an attraction to someone to allow them to get that close to him. He'd known this about himself -always. David probably knew it too.

He was too damn old to get swept away in passion and desire and great sex and now he was getting aroused. "What the hell is wrong with me?" He asked the now empty room.

He'd stirred to consciousness when sounds that he believed to be coming from kitchen drew Herc off the bed and out of the room.

He was a little relieved David was already up and out because he needed a few minutes to gather his thoughts. Sex certainly wasn't going to solve their problems. He highly doubted that his skills in bed were enough to change David's mind about how he lived his life and as wonderful as last night had been... Kurt lay a hand on the ache in his stomach, it didn't change his mind about anything either.

He heard noise in the hall and sat up when David came into the room a cup of coffee in hand and Herc on his heels. "Didn't know how you took it, so I put a little of everything in it." He said handing the cup to Kurt. The look on David's face told him he wasn't the only one who was unsure about what happened next.

"I could take it black." Kurt tried to for insulted pride, but didn't quite make it with his scratchy voice.

David gave him a half-smile and said, "I went with my gut."

Kurt looked down at the cup and took a sip. "Not bad." He said setting the coffee on the nightstand as David took a seat on the edge of the bed.

"David."

"Kurt."

They smiled at one another. David had found a t-shirt at some point, making Kurt wish he had something more on than a blanket to cover himself with as he did a quick scan for his clothes. "I must have really been dead." He said when he saw them neatly folded on a bureau.

"Yeah, I figured you'd want easy access when you woke up this morning -nothing worse than trying to bail on someone and not being able to find your pants." David said, trying for wryness.

"I'm not doing that." Kurt said his voice soft. "I just don't think...unless you've decided to come out, that this... as wonderful as last night was... is going to work." He had started fiddling with the edge of the quilt as he spoke.

"So, unless I come out..." David's face hardened.

"No, it not an ultimatum...it's not!" Kurt had moved forward as he spoke, even as David turned to his give him his shoulder. "I want you to do whatever it is that will make you happy and I want you to do it for you, not because I forced anything on you."

David gave him a sidelong glance. "But...I mean. What do you think is going to happen here? Do you think I'm going to come to Lima and sneak into your house to spend time with you? Or that you're going to come to Fort Wayne when you get a chance between your family and work and that I'm just going to be something you keep on the side away from the rest of your life?"

David stood and walked to the bureau slamming his hands down, sending a jolt of sound that made Kurt jump as Herc scurried out the door. "I'm not going to hide David! I never have and never will and..." Kurt stiffened jaw when he felt tears pricking the corners of his eyes, "and even if I could, I care about you too much to stand next to you and watch you hide yourself from everyone. I won't do it." He finished feeling his resolve strengthen in every word, even though his stomach felt like it had the last time he'd gotten punched.

David's head had dropped as his hands remained on the bureau. Kurt stood pulling a blanket with him. "David?" He said moving toward him slowly.

"You've said," David cleared his throat, "You've said what you had to say. I'll leave you be, so you can get ready. There's some bread if you want toast." David walked to the door keeping his back to Kurt as he left.

"David?" Kurt moved, trying to catch him before he left the room, but David must have heard him because he sped up and out of the room, making his way down the hall, calling for Herc as he hurried out his own front door.


"Oh, hey!" Finn's surprised smile was a welcome sight.

"I thought that you weren't coming till next weekend?" He said as he dropped his hands from the motor they were buried in, wiping them on the front of his jumper as he walked toward Kurt.

"I wasn't. I'm not. I'm heading back as soon as my brother buys me brunch."

The smile fell from Finn's face. Kurt wasn't sure if the surprise was just wearing off or if his tone of voice wasn't quiet as light as he had hoped.

"Sure. Let's head to the office and let me clean up a bit." Finn said, back-peddling toward Dad's old office.

Kurt followed, nodding to several of the mechanics that he'd known for years. "I don't know anyplace that serves brunch, but we can head over to the Lima Bean and grab some coffee and muffins." Finn said as he entered the small bathroom attached to the office to clean up and change out of his jumper.

"Sure." Kurt said absently as he looked at Dad's wall of photos. Finn had added quite a few over the years, so maybe calling it Dad's wasn't right anymore. He smiled when he saw the one of all of them in the hospital room after Ava's birth. Rachel's dads had been hogging Ava all day until Carol had suggested pictures of each relative holding the baby, so everyone could get a turn. Of course, a few pictures turned into dozens until Finn insisted on one of the whole family with Rachel shining like a star in the middle of the group, holding Ava like she was the most precious thing in the world.

He felt a slight ache at how their family was now so segmented with Dad and Carol in Washington most of the year, Rachel traveling the country and him in Fort Wayne. He loved it there, but he had been lonely since his last relationship fell apart. He hoped that hadn't been the driving force behind the pull he felt for David, but he couldn't discount it.

"You're upset about something." Kurt turned to find his brother pulling on a button-up over his tee.

"I've done something incredibly stupid and selfish and I feel like an ass." He admitted readily.

"O...kay? So you want to tell me more or should I just pretend that I don't know this has something to do with Dave Karofsky?"

Kurt decided he should stop underestimating Finn so much. "I honestly don't know what I was thinking," he said sitting on the old couch Finn kept in the office heavily. "I drove down here last night and went over to his house and," Finn was looking at him piteously, "one thing led to another and," he covered his face with his hand, "then this morning I told him nothing else could happen between us unless he came out and didn't even give him a chance to talk because I didn't want to let him talk me into doing something crazy like.."

"Like driving 70 miles to sleep with someone and dumping them in the morning?"

"Finn, I didn't plan this and you're not being helpful. I feel bad enough as it is."

"So you didn't even give him a chance to talk to you about it." Finn shrugged, "I mean that was kind of low Kurt, maybe if you'd given him the chance he would've surprised you?"

"I know," he hated how small his voice sounded, "but if he'd asked me to...I might have said yes." Kurt felt himself deflate against the couch.

"Kurt, I know I'm no expert, but if you care about him, maybe you can bend your rules. Ya know, just this once, and see where this goes. It seems stupid to let your own rule keep you from someone you care about." Finn's face was more than a little red by the time he finished. Talking about his feelings had never been comfortable for him, speaking of which...

"And, what about you and Christine?"

Finn's eyes widened comically, "What? What about us?"

"Finn, it's painfully obvious that you've got a thing for her. Why aren't you taking your own advice?"

"Dude, I'm married." Kurt cocked his brow at him. "At least I was and it was just this stupid little crush and I always figured her and Karofsky were still together, the way they were so close after the divorce and now, well...I don't know. I think she thinks I'm mentally deficit or something."

Finn sat down next to him, mimicking Kurt's deflated pose. "Do you think she'd go out with me, if I asked?"

Kurt shrugged, "Maybe? At least David wouldn't scare you off, since you already know about him."

"Hmm, wouldn't it be weird though? If we liked each other and got together, for you and Karofsky and for us." Finn's face had a disgusted look on it, "I mean it'd almost be like we slept with the same person."

"Gross, Finn!" Kurt pushed at Finn's shoulder as he spoke. "It would not! David and Chris are two different people. Though I suppose it would make the holidays awkward." Kurt could just see it now. All of them gathered around the Christmas tree, he and David exchanging looks, maybe they'd sneak off...Stop it! He admonished himself. You can't have it both ways, Kurt Hummel!

"Yeah." Finn sounded distant.

"Finn, if you like Chris, ask her out. At the very least maybe you'll stop acting like an over-grown puppy around her." Kurt pulled himself up from his sprawl. "One of us should try to find some happiness and I like Chris. I think you'd be good for each other."

"Really?" Finn sounded nervous suddenly, "I haven't asked someone out in like 18 years?"

"You'll be fine." Kurt said, then thought the better of it, "Well, fine if you call her. Don't ask her in person, it'll cut down on your nerves a little."

"Okay, sooo, what are you going to about Karofsky?" Kurt shook his head and offered Finn his hand to help him up. "Nothing." He felt himself slouching and pulled his shoulders back. "I think it would be best for both of us if we just stayed out of each others lives. We just don't seem to be able to make good decisions around each other and I can't keep letting myself get pulled in by him."

Finn's face was back to looking at him piteously, "Kurt, there's a reason you keep feeling that pull?"

He opened the office door and began walking back to his SUV. He could feel Finn following and turned to speak to him when he caught up, "I care about him, Finn. That's part of the problem. If I just wanted, pardon my language, a fuck. I could probably reason myself into believing it didn't matter if he was out or not, but I want more than that and I won't settle for less."

"You're right and I'm not saying you should, it's just ...I don't know, sad I guess, that you two can't work it out."

They parted to climb in Kurt's vehicle. "Yeah, it is." Kurt said, so low that it didn't reach Finn's ears over the sound of the closing car doors.