~Deception~

Edited by VALLED.

Well, I left this on quite a cliffy, enjoy!


Why do you keep locking me out? It's no fun being here alone…Sakura-chan, Hmm

I shuttered, not replying, I scrambled up. I started to search my Kunai pouch for my pills, but then I remembered I didn't have any.

Daddy, he was going to give me more today. All I need to do is speed it up and I'll be fine.

I reached for my journal loudly, watching as things fell to the floor and break. But I didn't care.

I ripped it open and grabbed my quill pen, I hurried to dip it in ink, and with a swift movement, I knocked it over. But I didn't care.

I started to write, my hands shaky. Dad, you need to come,now, I'm out. It's coming…

I slumped to the floor and waited. I crawled into a ball and started crying. Damn it, damn it, damn it!

I was so careless! I should have known better! Ugh! Why!?

Sakura-chaaaaannn…It's not your fault.

I let out a silent scream and smashed my hands on my ears. Mortified, I pushed so hard I thought my head was going to explode.

But it didn't stop.

Sakura-chan, why don't you like me!?

You're a evil bastard!

Sakura-chan, I'm flattered. I never knew you cared!

I DON'T!

Yessss, you dooo, I'm you, remember, I know everything about yooouu…

SHUT UP! SHUT UP! SHUT UP!!!

But I never get to talk to you! Sakura-chan, lets go have some fun!

I was about to scream at inner again, will I herd my window slam open. I flinched at the sound. It was so loud, it rang in my hears, over and over, hunting me.

"Sakura! Sakura! Hold on for just a bit longer!"

H-He was here, that angle voice, the voice that seamed to guide and understands me the most. T-the one I dreamed about hearing. The one that lead me away from the hell of the darkness that seamed to engulf me for weeks or years at a time. Just trying to find a way to understand why everyone hates me. Why I couldn't just die, and get away from the confusion and pain from my evil inner.

I looked up at him with tears in my eyes, but not really seeing him because my inner somehow knew it couldn't reach me with words. So I saw painful memories that had been formed into something that was worse and could have actually been.

I wanted to badly to stop seeing the images of people dying and blood rushing every where, all over my face because I was the one doing the killing. I was this cold hearted killer with the mind of a wild thing. This, thing, killing millions, billions in one swipe of her arm. Watching as blood made an ocean of the ruby substance.

I watched as I walked into the ocean and started laughing. My laughter echoing over miles of nothingness, it was demented and sick, a-and just plain wrong.

And what really made me scared is because some part of my mind, the part that led my true, inner power. I knew I could never use to protect anyone, because it was too powerful. I would kill everything in my path, without looking back.

It was laughing. It was laughing in joy and I hated it.

I saw more though, no matter how much of it I hated it, Inner, me, we liked it. It maybe small, tinny thing. But I liked it. I screeched, clawing at my eyes, trying to get the images to stop.

I could hear Daddy say soothing words, and rub my back. Telling me to calm down that way I would stop seeing the horrible demented things that made me want to puke.

I couldn't hear him anymore, I couldn't calm down because my screams drowned him out. I was trapped. My eyes forever crying, I clawed at them again, and again, and again. If felt like my head was going to erupt into a large bloody mess.

Screams filled with coked sobs, and gurgling blood, and the images to match.

Sakura-chaaaannn…I could make it stop you know…

I couldn't respond even if I wanted to. I was trying to hard to block it all out, The blood, the cries of pure pain and loss I had heard all to many times before. I wanted to dye. Dying sounded nice right about now, blackness instead of the red clots of blood all over my body.

B-But I couldn't, Mom, Papa, Daddy, Naruto, Sasuke, Iruka, Kakashi, hell, even Shino. I would miss them, I would do anything just to make it stop and everything become perfect.

But I knew this better then my alphabet, better then my own self. That life was everything, but, perfect. Hell, if it was perfect, life wouldn't be anything. It would hold no value. No learning, no life.

I watched as a young girl was crushed by a large rock, screaming telling her to get out of the way, but she didn't, couldn't hear me. She died a slow and painful death, her younger bother crying and holding her little hand that was the only thing that avoided the bow.

I saw more blood and guts fly, Kunai and swards flying towards innocent people. I cried out when they got hit.

The emotional pain and physical pain was too much. My brain and soul just couldn't stand it anymore, I fell into welcomed darkness.

When I woke up I almost screamed in aggravation. I wanted to be in the peaceful darkness longer, not die, just stay longer.

I rolled over in my bed, planning to see my clock and check what time it was. But I ended up falling off my bed.

It wasn't much of a drop, not even a foot; all I had was a mattress on my hard wood floor. The floor was actually warmer then I was. So it felt nice to lay on it, I just stayed there, looking up to the ceiling, tangled in my blankets.

It was quiet, but I could hear some soft snoring from coming next to me. Startled, I turned my head, only to be meat with a face full of lush white, good smelling curls.

I Gasped, It was Daddy! I haven't seen him in person for years! But there he was, breathing into my neck calmly.

I smiled; I got up off the floor and walked to my window seat. It was about 4AM, I sill had an hour till I had to go.

I looked at his peaceful face for while, just listening to his breathing. I was lost in my thoughts, Inner, blood, and life.

I was knocked out of my daydreams when I herd the first tap of water on my window. It was sprinkling.

I looked over the town, the early morning fog made everything hazy and more pastel like. It was calming and soothing. Along with the light tapping sounds of the light early morning rain, I leaned onto the cold glass, sighing.

Last night was horrible, inner getting out, all those images. I shivered, all of that was going to haunt me for weeks.

I yawned, and closed my eyes, just feeling the sharp coldness stop all my thoughts. I smiled, and gave a quick sigh of relief.

I don't like thinking. It's hard and painful. But damn it, I needed to think, thinking was mandatory if I wanted to do all the things I was made to do. Like protect and fight.

I felt my arm start to hurt for no reason. Like I was using it to lift 20 ton bricks yesterday, and I was getting the soreness of it.

I didn't cry, I didn't blink, and my breathing didn't even falter. I was used to this kind of pain that came out of no where. I think it's something my inner dose to slowly brake me. Or something of the likes that.

I looked over to my father again, he lay there so peacefully. I wanted to go back and sleep in is protective grasp.

But I knew if I tried to go to sleep, no matter how sleepy I was, the images would come back, just like always. The screaming and blood, all back. Inner had that power over me, the power of my dreams.

I frowned, my memory starting to pull up images I did not want to see. I got up silently thanks to my Ninja training. I walked over to my door and pulled on some dark blue socks and some black boots. Getting ready to go on a short walk, just to clear my head.

I got back up and grabbed my light brown trench cote with a hood from my small closet. I put it on, and opened the door; I walked down the stairs and walked into my living room.

I saw the cats looking up at me from there place on the couch. I felt my heart turn to mush as I saw how cute they looked.

I 'awed' and walked over to them, picking up Bear. He was looking at me with his eyes half open, about to fall asleep in my hands.

He was delightfully warm. I wanted to hug and cuddle him for just a bit before I went for my walk. But I didn't, I didn't want to waste more time then I already had.

I slowly put him back down and he fell asleep instantly, I giggled slightly and walked over to the door. I unlocked the deadbolt and opened it.

The air was freezing cold, but I welcomed it, clearing my mind.

I closed the door and used my chakra to lock it again.

I stuffed my hands in my pockets and I started to walk blindly into the misty fog.

I looked around, just trying to empty my head. I saw burred images of houses and shops, all the lights off, the doors locked.

I snorted; locks are to keep honest people honest. If people wanted to get in badly enough, they would. It's not that hard.

I walked past the houses, trying to block out those mean and negative thoughts. I suddenly felt every grouchy and cold. Not like, 'Man, is it cold in here, or what?' more like, 'If I don't get something warm on, my fingers are going to fall off.'

Just to check my fingers didn't fall of, I looked down at my hand. It was a light blue.

I shivered, and started buttoning up my jacket. My fingers stumbling and slipping because I didn't have full control of them.

It looks me longer then it should have, but I got it done. I shivered again and put my hands under my arms, trying to get back my long gone heat that never seamed to stay put on my body.

I stopped walking and frowned. Why was I like this? Wasn't Konoha known for it's all round heat? I understand it's not going to be tropical weather so early in the morning, but jeez. You got to be kidding me.

I looked around, my teeth chattering, maybe trying to find a early ray of sun light that somehow came before the rest of the sun, threw the fog, and was acutely had some substance.

I snorted, rubbing my arms and walking away. Like that was ever going to happen. I was the unlucky one.

My teeth ground together, I shivered again. My legs felt wobbly and num, I couldn't control them properly.

I stopped walking a second time, I had somehow wandered into a training field, still having no idea where I was, and I couldn't handle this anymore. I was going to freeze to death!

I walked over to a large tree, I planed in my mind over what I was going to do, stop and try to get some more body heat before I left for the house.

I slid down the trunk and sighed, seeing my breath in the air.

It swirled and caressed my face and neck, I sighed in relief as I felt the week, but none the less, heat come from it and onto my cold, bluish neck.

I pulled my feet into my body and rested my head on my knees. I started shivering, I just couldn't help it.

I started to think about what I must look like right now, hair dirty and messy from last night. Maybe a bit of blood left on my face from the self inflicted wounds I caused to my self last night. My cloths dirty and ruffled, my shoes muddy from the light rain. And my ugly cote.

I shivered and adjusted my collar up then tucked my hands back into my sides.

I don't know about you, but I HATE being cold. I much rather be to hot and sweat to death. Not freeze and become a human Popsicle.

I closed my eyes, feeling them start to dry out from staring at my blue fingers to long. I pulled my legs closer to my body if possible, and I just relaxed and started to think, and feel my emotions playing in my head.

I felt cold, duh, and I also felt…hallow, empty, lonely.

I dug my face into my chest, I always felt that way.

I didn't like feeling lonely, but I really needed my alone time. But, when I want my alone time to be over, it seams it never is. Even right now. Sure, Naruto and Sasuke might be teammates, but I don't really feel that bond that would break my hart.

Feeling alone was horrible, it was always painful. I wasn't a independent enough person to acutely feel safe alone most of the time.

I always felt that I needed to protect others, I'm sure you understand that by now, but…

I-I sometimes wanted it to be about me.

I know it the world isn't about me and it every self centered of me. But sometimes I wanted that maybe someone wanted to be my friend all by them self, not me asking them to be mine.

I sometimes wanted that maybe someone would tell me that they cared about me as much as I cared about them. Just to confirm, t-though I don't need it. I would be perfectly happy with out it.

But it would be nice for someone to say, "I care."

Believe it or not, no one as actually said, "I care." To me before.

I stopped my thoughts right there. Not wanting to go further.

My eyes felt like led and I was ready to go to sleep, but I couldn't sleep here. So I changed my thoughts back to something safe.

I started thinking about a piano peace I was learning how to play, it was relatively easy.

I had started playing the piano at 6 and the guitar at 8. I wasn't the best, nor was I the worst, I yawned, those thoughts didn't really matter.

Trying to keep awake, I started to sing softly, it kept my body moving, clearly if thinking wasn't going to do anything I might as well do this, it's not as if anyone was here anyway.

I opened my eyes and then put my chin on my knees; I stared at the tree I couldn't really see. But the fog seamed to be thinning slowly, not really.

"Spotlight shining brightly on my face I can't see a thing and yet I feel you looking my way…" I sang, my eyes going half lidded. I didn't know if this was going to help or not, but I was just too tired to actually do anything else.

"Empty stage, With nothing but this girl, Who's singing this simple melody, And wearing her heart on her sleeve

"And right now I have you For a moment I can tell I've got you Cause your lips don't move And something is happening Cause your eyes tell me the truth I've put a spell over you

"Beauty emanates from every word that you say And captured the deepest thoughts in the purest and simplest of ways But you see I'm not that graceful Like you Nor am I as eloquent But just a simple melody Can change the way that you see me.

"And right now I have you For a moment I can tell I've got you Cause your lips don't move And something is happening Cause your eyes tell me the truth I've put a spell over you

"And all my life I've stumbled But up here I am just perfect, perfect as I'll ever be

"I have you For a moment I can tell I've got you Cause your lips don't move And something is happening Cause your eyes tell me the truth I've put a spell over you…"

The song was very pretty; it wasn't exactly sad, nor happy. It was just, nice.

I looked down at my feet and closed my eyes, just to rest them, because I just couldn't keep them open any more. I was just too tired. Eyes feeling like large rocks, I closed them. I fell into I light sleep, my body becoming warmer. Though I was still very cold.

I was only vaguely aware when someone found me.


Shikamaru hated waking up early.

Absolutely hated it.

A lot.

Why his father needed this so called, "important petal", at 5 a clock in the morning, really make's him pissed off. Because he knew exactly what he was up to.

Okay sure, his father might be the head of the clan for a reason. But him thinking that he could control Shikamaru, his own son, like his own slave.

Shikamaru was always being controlled by his father. In fact, if he had his way, he would have never gone to the academe, he would sleep all the time, and he would live off his clan and never have to work. Or something like that.

But he sadly didn't have that power.

Some part of him, a very small part, was glad he had his father. Because he knew if he didn't have him, he would probably be about dead as dead can get, without actually being dead.

He stopped walking, and scratched his head, that thought didn't even make sense…

He shrugged it off as being tired and continued to talk keeper into his clan's forest.

He yawned; he was supposed to get some Sakura petals. His dad said that his mother wanted to make a perfume or something…

He yawned again, why woman obsessed about smelling nice blew his mind. It must be a girl thing.

Girls. That is something that this genius could never have the hope to understand. One minute there all goo-goo eye'ed. Then the next there ready to rip your fucking head off in some sort of missy fit.

He sighed and put his hands in his pockets and slouched. It was all too troublesome to think about now.

He walked deeper into the Nara's forest, searching for the nearest Sakura tree. He shook his head, how was he going to find a freaking Sakura tree in the middle of the summer?!

Everyone knew that the Nara forest was famous for its weird growth patterns, but this was ridiculous!

He walked and walked, not even bothering to look where he was going. It was to foggy to actually see anything anyway.

He just was at the edge of the forest when he heard something so light, it must have been his imagination trying to create a more interesting and brain engaging mission.

He stopped and looked up from the ground, this time it was a bit louder. To loud to be his imagination this time.

He looked at the direction which he heard the noise. There it was again!

Shikamaru couldn't leave this alone, who would be in his clans forest this early in the morning? Clearly it couldn't be good.

He started to walk in the direction slowly, approaching with caution.

But as the sounds grew louder, he began to walk faster, and it didn't take long for him to start running.

He stopped when he saw a oddly shaped lump agents the tree, and the noise, now distinguished as her singing pleasantly.

S-She was just sitting here, her voice horse and shaky. He could somehow see her shaking threw the fog.

He was frozen. It was the girl with the pink hair from the academe! That Sakura girl!

He couldn't bring him self to go over to her. Just to frozen, he could barley breath, that's how surprised he was.

Sakura Here!? That mysterious girl who brought a ghost to the class? (Go back to when she first come, she did that wind Jutsu and everyone thought it was a ghost.) The person who defeated Sasuke? The person who made friends with Naruto!? Willingly!?

Shikamaru stared, his mouth gap. He was trying to add it all up. Her, here, why!?

Shikamaru hated being confused.

But he left it just a bit uplifting. Just a bit.

It was nice to know that there were mysterious things still left in the world for his brain to gnaw on.

Sakura had finished her song she wasn't moving anymore. Shikamaru's hart started beating quickly, what if she was dead?

His brain quickly ruled that out as he saw her body still shivering.

Shikamaru slowly started to move towards her, calling out to her quietly. "Sakura-san?" he whispered.

When she didn't move, he started walking even faster. "Sakura-san!" He yelled, rushing over to her.

When he reached her, she still didn't move. His heart started beating even faster, and he started hyperventilating. Concerned about her, and how much trouble he would be in if she died right there on his land.

He put his hand on her shoulder, planning to shake her awake. But when he touched her, he drew his hand back quickly, almost as if her skin burned him. But it was quite the opposite. She was freezing!

Shikamaru hovered a bit before he forced hand down on her shoulder, and shook it hard, "Hey, get up." He said, bending down.

He could feel her shivering threw her jacket. He filched, wanting to pull his hand away, but instead, shaking her harder, "Sakura-san, you have to get up!" He said even louder, because if she didn't get up, she really would be dead.

She didn't move, she didn't make a squeak, or a moan, or a grumble. She just sat there, shaking.

Shikamaru started to freak out, groaning when the only solution made it's self prominent agents the rest of his thoughts.

He had to bring her back to his house.

Not only was that idea troublesome, extremely troublesome, but his parents might get the wrong idea, and they would tell the whole clan the wrong information, even after telling them what really happened.

Like they where going to believe he found a pretty pink haired girl, singing in the forest, and then almost dying of hyperthermia.

Yeah right.

He groaned again, he should of just ignored his father and slept till reasonable hours.

He bent down to Sakura's level and started to undo the tight grip on her legs. But no matter how much he pulled, she wouldn't let go. He made all sorts of weird noise trying to get them open, but it was no use.

He sighed, and used chakra to enhance his strength, she let go willingly enough then.

He grumbled about how girls always made more trouble then they where worth. (I swear to god, I wasn't a girl right then. I was HIM! I tell you HIM! DON'T HURT ME!)

He slowly pulled her up and she slumped ageist him, she was out for the count. She wasn't waking up anytime soon.

He pulled her on her back and egested her so that she would stay in the poor imitation of a piggy back ride.

Grumbling and complaining all the way home, he couldn't help but notice 3 things.

1: She smelled like tiare flowers.

2: She had really soft skin.

3: And she wasreallyfuckingheavy!


Hehehe, It's shika time! YES! :D I had to learn how to spell his name because i shouldn't have to copy/paste names unless the charcter is going to die, or never be seen or herd of after it's arc.

OKAY, IF YOU LIKE SHIKASAKU OR HERMES, REVIEW, IF YOU DON'T THEN YOU NEED TO DO DIE IN A HOLE, YOUR NOT WORTHY TO READ THIS AWESOMENESS!