Truth? Or Dare

Prompt #22 (by anonymous)

Date: March 6, 2012

Prompt: During BIOTA Blaine actually realizes he is bisexual, but is worried about losing Kurt's friendship as a result- so he hides it.

Blaine had always been completely sure about who he was in front of Kurt. After all if you're trying to act as a mentor to someone then showing your own insecurities probably wasn't the best way to go about it. Especially since Kurt seemed to have convinced himself that Blaine was invincible when Blaine knew that he was far from it. Inside Blaine was still the scared fourteen year old who knew he had a crush on one of the boys in his class and didn't particularly notice the girls. They were his friends why would he have wanted to make out with them.

Of course his persona around Kurt was always going to fall one day but he never thought it would be due to a game of Spin the Bottle, a drunken kiss, a drunken duet and now his agreement to go out on a date with Rachel Berry. He hadn't meant to compare Kurt to his tormentor Dave Karofsky but in his anger he hadn't been able to keep his composure and his temper had slipped through causing him to lash out. Now he just had to get ready for his date tonight without bemoaning the fact that he might have lost Kurt's friendship forever. And he really did like Kurt. More than practically anyone else in his life for he was one of the few people who seemed to really get Blaine even without seeing him at his lowest point which is why Wes and David knew so much about him.

In the end seeing as he was lacking Kurt's excellent fashion advice he decided to dress up as Oliver hoping that Rachel wouldn't mind. He drove to Rachel's house (for the second time in a week) and neatly rang the doorbell before smiling at Rachel when she opened the door. He was thrilled to see that she was wearing a perfect replica of Jennifer's clothes and she was obviously delighted by this as well judging by the fact that she exclaimed over it for the entire car ride to the theatre. Blaine could see what Kurt meant when he said Rachel's personality could grate one your nerves but it was kind of adorable and Rachel did seem to be trying quite hard. Plus she didn't appear to have been drinking this time as he couldn't smell alcohol on her quite as strongly and she wasn't flirting inappropriately with him.

The evening was nicer than Blaine had thought it would turn out to be. They spend the evening mouthing Ali McGraw's dialogue laughing about how they both knew all of the lines. At least they had things in common but would the spark still be there if Blaine kissed her again while they were both sober. But at the end of the night he decided against it because Kurt's accusations about him leading Rachel on were still at the back of his mind. What if he truly was just gay and this whole thing was a disaster? So he dropped Rachel off at her house and gave her a brief kiss on the cheek before driving straight back to Dalton.

The next day he threw himself into rehearsals as the Warblers ran through their P!nk medley as many times as was humanly possible before Thad began to look like he wanted to hit Wes over the head with his beloved gavel and some of the Warblers were beginning to falter vocally due to tiredness. That was when he gave Wes a meaningful look and practice was ended for the day. Deciding that routine was the best way to keep himself occupied and not thinking about his date with Rachel (or the fact that Kurt hadn't been at rehearsal) he drove to the Lima Bean so he could get his post-rehearsal medium drip. Besides after all the alcohol he had imbibed at the trainwreck of a party he would probably need to be drinking a lot of coffee for a few days. He was just waiting in the queue so he could place his order when he noticed Rachel walking determinedly over.

"Oh hi Rachel," he said with a smile. He really did like the dramatic girl even if he wasn't sure that even if he was bisexual she would be a girl that he would end up dating. Needless to say he was surprised when Rachel didn't seem to have the same qualms as she went straight in for the kill and kissed him again.

To his dismay and delight at the same time he enjoyed the kiss just as much sober. Delight because his parents didn't seem to think being bisexual was as heinous as being gay probably because there was a chance that he'd end up with a girl in the end. But dismay because he thought a spark with Rachel might mean that Kurt would stop being his friend. He knew how the other boy felt about bisexuality and if he was being entirely truthful he knew he'd been harbouring slight feelings for the other boy for a while now. He wasn't particularly interested in pursuing a relationship with Rachel but he didn't want to hide who he was. He'd had enough of that for a lifetime. He didn't know what he should do and all too soon the kiss ended and he knew he had to react.

He could see Kurt hovering in the background and couldn't bear to think about the look on his face if Blaine announced his bisexuality. He knew Rachel was probably still hung up on her gigantor boyfriend Finn so she wouldn't be broken up about it so that's why with a massive sting of regret he let the words, "I'm definitely gay! 100% gay. Thanks Rachel," escape his mouth wincing at the lie.

He quickly excused himself and ran for the bathroom where he collapsed to the floor and began to cry hoping he'd be able to straighten himself up in time so that Kurt wouldn't worry and come looking for him. He'd never hated himself more in his life because he'd made a promise to never lie about who he was that just snapped for the benefit of his best friend.