BE KARKAT ==
It's been almost two days by earth standards, and neither you nor anyone else has seen where the new human went. You were fidgeting in the recreational area with Rose, who was consulting some random grimoire about the Furthest Ring. She's read every book out of the library in here, and she'd probably been through this one at least twice, as if reading the same shit over and over again would make the words reassemble themselves into whatever answers she was looking for, HI ROSE, HERE'S THE SECRET TO DEFEATING LORD ENGLISH. TEE HEE SILLY US, WE'RE JUST LETTERS AND WE DON'T KNOW WHAT THE FUCK WE'RE DOING. PAGES BRO.
You mentally slap yourself out of your ragefantasy about talking letters and direct your ire at Rose.
"Hey can't you do something useful other than nasalfuck your way through shit you've already read?" you say. "Like do some Seer-ish elderbabble and find that renegade female of your species with an eightball or fucking something?"
"If she was inflicting harm in any way, we'd hear about it by now," Rose replies, without looking up from her tome. "Besides, even if she is a God Tier, we outnumber her six to one. Like I have said every time you feel the need to bugle out your worries, leave her alone. You would be doing all of us more harm than good if you confronted her in your usual elegant fashion."
"Kiss my fucking nook, that's easy to say since she didn't have her fingers around YOUR throat," you huff. You get to your feet. "I'm going to go look for her aga—"
Footsteps from your left interrupt you, and you both turn to see the throatclutcher in question drag herself to the consumption table and collapse into a chair. She looked like utter shit. Her head and hair were basically a massive scab of dried blood, and one eye had swollen shut as the result of a black eye. Rose dropped her book and rushed over while you offer a few friendly words of consolation.
"What in hiveshitting triplefuck happened to you?!"
"Yes, what happened? Is there anything we can do for you?" Rose asked, concern creasing her brow.
"…ah?" Erem seemed to be fighting the urge to sleep, looking through half-lidded eyes at the table. At Rose's inquiry she looked up blinking with her one eye rapidly. "C…could I just have…some water…please."
As Rose embarked on a short hydration quest, you walk over to Erem and stand near her awkwardly. You want to say something nice, even compassionate about her injuries, but instinct was urging you to drill her about her whereabouts over the past couple of days at the most audible volume you could pitch.
Instead you try: "Are…are you ok?"
YES KARKAT, THAAAAAT'S THE FUCKING TICKET, 'IS SHE OK'?! I MEAN FUCK ME SIDEWAYS SHE'S THE POSTER GRUB OF FINE HUMAN HEALTH! HUMANS NORMALLY WALK AROUND WITH MASSIVE HEAD TRAUMA, YOU SEE THAT SHIT EVERY DAY. GOSH, HOW ARE YOU NOT SWIMMING IN BITCHES WITH THAT VERITABLE SEA OF SENSITIVITY YOU POSSESS!?
Rose has returned with a cup of water, and Erem began to steadily sip it by the time you finish mentally belittling yourself.
"I understand that you are most likely in desperate need of rest," said Rose. "We have an abundance of vacant rooms. Would you like me to take you to one? You can tell us what happened later if you feel—"
"Clown," murmured Erem.
You exchange alarmed looks with Rose. Before either of you can say anything, Terezi walked into the room. She was looking over at her shoulder at the frame she just passed through, a look on her face that indicated that she either saw something disturbing, or that the doorway whispered a vile obscenity into her ear no one else heard.
"Uhhh…" She pointed with her thumb over her shoulder back the way she came. "Why is Gamzee sitting out there covered in blood with a weird collar on?"
"What!?" you yelped. "Gamzee you out there?" You're met with no response. "Gamzee if you're there get your painted ass out here!"
"Come out," Erem spoke quietly. Gamzee came around the corner, his normal stupid grin hanging on his face over a metal collar with a weird box on it. He was shirtless, and his toned, elongated torso had several horrible stab wounds in them; as he walked over, a decent indigo blood trail followed him. You run over to your moirail, looking him over with concern.
"Gamzee, jegus fucking…" you falter. "What…just what the fuck happened between you two?" Gamzee shrugged and honked. The honk was immediately followed by his face cringing in pain as a light beeped on the collar. His face and neck muscles twitched violently, and his hair stood on end. "WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON?!" you yell, angry but terrified at the fact at your unknowledge of what was happening to your best friend.
Erem got up shakily, leaning on the chair for support. She trudged over to Gamzee and pressed a button on the collar, stopping the torment it was inflicting on him. She turns to you. "It's a shock collar. He won't shut up with the honking, and this kind of helps."
"ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME," you scream. You whip out the sicklekind out of your strife specibus. "YOU BETTER TAKE THAT INSANE SHIT OFF OF HIM, BEFORE I FUCKING KILL YOU. NO IRONY AT ALL YOU PSYCHOPATHIC PENCILFUCKER, TAKE THAT OFF HIM RIGHT FUCKING NOW."
"Gamzee, I pressed the button," she says instead. "Do what we came here to do so we can get the fuck out of here."
"GAMZEE WHY ARE YOU TAKING HER ABSURD FUCKING BABBLING?! FUCKING SERIOUSLY HOW CAN YOU CUT THE HEADS OFF YOUR LEGITAMITE FRIENDS' HEADS, BUT YOU CAN'T BEAT THIS BITCH'S HEAD IN LIKE EGGS FOR A FUCKING CAKE—"
"I don't know if you can see or anything, but he fucking tried to," said Erem, looking you coldly in the eyes. "Hurry up Gamzee." Gamzee's smile shrinks a little, but he finally speaks.
"I'm sorry."
"W—f—wha—"
"Sorry for killing our motherfuckin friends brother," he answers. After a couple of seconds, Erem pokes him in the face with what looked like a tiny steel wand with a blade attached at the end. He grunts. "And for cutting off their motherfuckin heads."
Your jaw performs a human yo-yo trick known as "walk the dog."
Erem turns towards the door.
"Wait."
Everyone turned to Terezi as she spoke.
"How pitiful Gamzee," she snickered, tapping her cane into her hand as she walked towards the two. "Way to let a pint-sized human turn you into her pet. How does it feel? The high and mighty 'High Subjuggulator' has been…subjuggulated!" She laughed wickedly at her own joke. Erem gave her a strange smile, then said:
"I know what you're thinking, and you shouldn't worry about it. I'm not so terrible a person that I would steal something from some hapless blind bitch."
The smile on Terezi's face absconded faster than a group of trolls on a meteor from a flying dog with a sword. Before anyone could say or do anything, Erem jumped onto Gamzee's back.
"Move it," she growled. Gamzee trotted over to the nearest ventilation window, popped out the frame, and hopped inside, leaving you unable to even begin to know the first thing you wanted to start shouting your horns off about.
